Chapter 8: Oh England, My England

Hey Everyone! I'm so sorry for not updating for a while! I kind of had writer's block, and kept procrastinating with this chapter. This chapter's really random (I listened to the Legally Blonde the Musical Soundtrack while I wrote this lol).

Well, after a long wait and many requests, here it is…England!

Vietnam had wanted to get out of Greece as soon as possible, so she jumped on the first flight she could. A few hours later, she found herself standing in London, England's capital city.

She shrugged. As long as she was out of Greece, she was okay. Gosh, he was probably still out there with his cats looking for her.

The full moon shone over Big Ben, and it towered over her. Vietnam walked through the night; it felt so nice, the breeze on her face, the stars shining bright and—something dripping on her.

Vietnam half expected to look up and see some creepy dog or Greece hovering over her, drooling on her.

But no, it was starting to rain. It was weird because the sky had been clear for most of the night. Slowly, more raindrops fell, until it started raining heavily. She needed to get somewhere dry. And quickly too.

Vietnam walked into the first place she saw next. It seemed inviting enough; there were people sitting on barstools and crowded around tables. It was a nice bar. Vietnam wanted didn't want to remember what had happened last time she went to a bar—Russia.

But Russia wasn't here right now, and thank God, for that.

She sat down on a stool and looked around.

"What can I get you?" the bartender asked.

"She'll have a fhrmmmh…" The man beside Vietnam took a sip of his drink as she raised an eyebrow.

"Tell me, am I protestant or Catholic?" He seemed to be talking to nobody. "Hi I'm England. Hey, do you have any Kit Kats with you? Flying Mint Bunny stole mine."

The bartender looked at Vietnam with a worried expression. "Is he okay?"

"To be honest, I don't even know."

England collapsed onto the table as Vietnam poked him to see if he was still alive.

His head shot straight up. "I learned new spells. Wanna see?" England jumped into the air with his glass, and threw on a cloak. Was he holding a "wand"?

"Let it go, let it go, I'm one with the wind and sky!" He stood on the stool and did the bend and snap. "Look at my ass look at my thighs, I'm catnip to the…to the…Cats!"

Vietnam just sat there and face palmed while England did his little "dance". His knees shook as he almost fell off his stool.

"Aww, Flying Mint Bunny! Thanks for saving me!" England seemed to be talking to no one in particular. He reached out and hugged the air, falling off in the process.

He laughed and started babbling again, almost as if he was making a joke with someone—or something.

England then turned his head toward Vietnam with a creepy smirk on his face. Vietnam, who felt personally victimized by this, felt her lunch creeping back up her throat.

"Hey, let's be detectives. I'll be Sherlock. And you darling, my Watson." He took Vietnam's arm in an iron grip and led her away as she tried squirming out of it.

God, Drunk England's even worse than sober France.

Meanwhile, England was skipping around yelling "We're gonna solve a mystery!"

He put on his coat, and just as Vietnam was about to run away, he handcuffed them together, putting a sleuth cap on her.

If only she had the key, she would gladly poke him in the eye with it.

'Uh, uh, uh! No running away this time!" He shook his index finger at her.

England ran around, as an irritated Vietnam tried to keep up with him.

"And where the hell are we actually going?" Vietnam asked.

England stopped and brought out his wand. He whacked Vietnam on the head with it. "Bad doggy! We're gonna go solve a mystery!"

He stepped forward. "Wingardium Leviosa!"

Vietnam did a double face palm just as she was tugged along.

The two stopped in front of a bank as the police gathered around.

England approached them. "Officer, what happened?" He asked innocently. Vietnam rolled her eyes. He was anything but.

"Bank robbery. And by the looks of it, they already got away."

Vietnam looked over at England and saw his face break into a grin; he ran and took her with him.

"Let's go find ourselves a criminal!" He looked around just as his eye caught someone suspicious.

"Hey! Have you seen a robber pass through here?" The man instantly ran away.

"It's him Watson! I've found the one!" England squeaked.

Vietnam's eyes rolled so hard she thought they would pop out. "Are you about to catch a thief or MARRY HIM?"

"Trolls! Flying Mint Bunny! Get him!" Right on cue, the robber tripped. England walked up to him and grabbed his collar.

"So, was it you? Did you rob the bank?"

The man looked scared as England sat on him. He squeaked and tried to take deep breaths.

"Please! I didn't mean to! I have a family to feed and a—" He tried getting up.

England pushed him back down. "HEY GET DOWN! DO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE OFF MY PANTS?"

"Ew, no, but I have—"

"I'M UNBUTTONING THEM!"

"I have kids and—"

"OH LOOK, THEY'RE SLIPPING OFF! OH, I FEEL SO FREE!"

The man covered his eyes and cried. "Oh my gosh! Please take me away! Arrest me! Just get me away from him!"

England stood up and buttoned his khakis. "Job well done, trusty assistant." He held his hand out for a high five, but high fived himself after he saw Vietnam's glare.

They dragged the wailing robber over to the police, who were still investigating.

"I believe we found the man responsible for the crime." The policeman studied him for a second, then nodded. "Thank you, Mr…"

'Oh, Kirkland!"

"Right, we'll take him away."

England and Vietnam left the scene, England skipping, throwing his legs up into the air.

"Yay! We solved a mystery!"

Vietnam sighed. It wasn't really a mystery, more like a something-that-just-happened-to-happen-as-they-were-walking.

Then, England tripped on a tiny stone and fell on his face. Vietnam rushed over to him, still handcuffed.

"Um, are you okay?" She asked.

He rubbed his head and started to get up. "What the hell happened?"

"Uh, you were sort of drunk…"

"Oh my bloody hell! Dumbledore's beard and Gandalf's staff…" He sat on a bench, and pulled his jacket over his head and hid under it. "I'm never drinking again…"

Vietnam sat next to him. "Um, the handcuffs."

He looked up. "Oh, right," England's face turned red. "Sorry about that." He pulled out the key and undid them.

Vietnam rubbed her wrist as England sighed. "That was so embarrassing."

"Well, to be honest, I sort of had fun…"

England looked at her, a faint smile on his face. He moved closer and rested his head on her shoulder.

Vietnam, surprised by his sudden move, patted his head.

England closed his eyes. A few minutes later, he started snoring lightly. Vietnam looked over and smiled.

He's so cute when he sleeps. Maybe he could be the one…When he's not drunk, that is. But I liked it. I think I'll keep looking, though.

I'll try to update faster from now on, but with school starting and everything, I might not always be able to get it up as soon as possible. But I'll try because I love you guys!

Anyway, keep telling me who you want Vietnam to end up with! Remember to comment and review!

And next chapter is…well, who do you want it to be?