Get a Life 38
"I can't believe it!" Naruto threw his coat on the ground "That red hair son of a bitch stole my boyfriend!"
Sasuke bit his bottom lip. He REALLY wanted to smile, but now was NOT the time to do that. He needed to pretend to give a shit and be a friend for Naruto…THEN be a potential boyfriend.
"Sasuke's dating Karin!?"
Itachi screamed in terror. Sasuke rolled his eyes. Since Naruto had turned into a frozen statue after seeing Gaara and Neji, Sasuke thought it would be best to drag him over to his place. Forgetting of course that his stupid older brother was home.
"No you dumb ass, Gaara's dating Neji."
"…who?"
"Neji, the guy Naruto was dating."
"But I thought you guys were dating. Like, right now even. …Why are you here and not someplace romantic?" Itachi's eyes widened. "Wait you guys didn't come home to-!"
"Oh for the love of-!" Sasuke full out blushed, how could Itachi be thinking about sex at a time like this!? "He caught his boyfriend cheating on him and needed to get away!"
"…"
Sasuke groaned.
"Now what?"
"But isn't Naruto cheating on his boyfriend by going out with you?"
"That's different!"
"How so?"
"-!" …that was an excellent question. "Uh, it wasn't behind his back?"
"But you two still went on a date together?"
Sasuke scratched his head. Why was all this so confusing.
"It's…complicated."
"No, no it's not." Naruto mumbled "You're right. We're cheating on each other." He lowered his head. "Kiba WAS right. Our relationship was a joke."
"…Naruto?" Naruto looked up at Itachi. "Do you know how many people I've dated in my time?"
Naruto blinked a few times. What did that have anything to do with this?
"Should I care?"
"15"
"16"
"That one doesn't count." Itachi bopped Sasuke on the head. "I've dated 15 people."
"Wow…you must really suck at dating then."
"Wha-? No! It just means I tried being in a relationship 15 times and that none of them were the one for me." He then rested his hand on Naruto's shoulder. "And I'm not alone. Not everybody finds their perfect soul mate the first time. I mean, did you honestly picture yourself with Neji as partners for the rest of your lives?"
Naruto lowered his head and pondered.
"I guess not…"
Itachi smiled.
"Hey." Naruto looked up at Itachi. "Don't let this bring yeah down. There are plenty of fish in the sea."
"…fish in the sea? What does fish got anything to do with this?"
"It means there's plenty more out there."
"Fish?"
"People."
"…mermaids?"
Itachi smacked his head. How did Sasuke put up with him?
"No just… I'm sure you'll find your perfect someone out there."
Naruto nodded his head and smiled.
"Thanks."
"And think of the bright side." Sasuke interrupted "At least you'd be the one dumping him, not the other way around."
Guess that was true. He would hate it if he was the one being dumped. Naruto's phone then ringed. He then digged into his pocket without looking on the caller I.D and picked up.
"Hello?"
"Yeah, uh hi. I don't know how to say this…actually yeah, yeah I do. Naruto I want to break up." Naruto twitched. "I'm not gonna do the whole 'its not you its me' bull shit, so I won't. But I will say this much. It wasn't working." Naruto felt his pride crumble. "I mean, let's face it, all you ever talked about was Sasuke-" Naruto suddenly felt weighted down by guilt "we only hugged like, once, but only to prove to someone you were my boyfriend and not cause you wanted too-" 10 more pounds "heck, we never even kissed. Talk about lame." And 100 pounds. "So I guess what I'm saying is… It's not me, it's you." 200 POUNDS! "Plus, I like someone else. And so do you. So go on, go make out with Sasuke or something." Naruto blushed.
"It's not like that!"
"Tell me something, where are you?"
"Huh? Why?"
"Cause 20 bucks says you're at Sasuke's house."
"…we didn't do anything."
"Ah huh."
"I swear!"
"Naruto, stop and think, do people go to each others houses after a first date? When their parents aren't there. At, what time is it… one in the morning?"
Naruto then glanced at a clock. Holly shit, it really was one a clock.
"Uh…yes?"
"The answer is no. …unless it's a one night stand."
"We are not those kind of guys!"
"20 more bucks if something happens."
"Uh…"
"Kissing, making out…sex."
"We are not gonna have sex!" Naruto then heard a cough and looked around. Oh yeah…they're still here. "…Can I call you later?"
"No. Just meet me at school on Monday with forty bucks."
"Like hell I will." Naruto then realized something. "What are you doing up one in the morning?"
He then heard a beep. Naruto blinked a few times and looked at his phone.
"Son of a bitch just hung up on me."
Itachi snorted.
"Ex's tend to do that."
Naruto sighed.
"Look, it's like, one in the morning…can I spend the night here?"
Itachi smiled.
"Sure."