I asked Luka what the source of jealousy was.
We were visiting the Crypton Vocaloids for once. Their mansion was bigger and shinier, so normally they came to visit us. But that day, I thought that those rooms they deemed too numerous (hey look, a long word) and too big were just right for holding a private conversation.
We were in the library, discussing literature. And then I asked the question.
She had smiled, and congratulated me for not simply ignoring the whole thing. But then she answered that jealousy was similar to feeling inferior.
I almost tipped over a bookcase at the remark. Inferiority?
She told me to calm down. I only sat down. She told me to think about it. I couldn't.
I didn't feel inferior.
She told me to stare the idea in the face, and dare it to blink first.
So I did.
I reached a pretty depressing conclusion.
I did feel inferior only because she's happier all the time. Somehow, I'm doing something wrong and she's doing something right and she gets to be happy all the time.
Luka just shrugged. She said that many people who think of sad stuff and who tell sad jokes also feel truly happy. She said many other things, but all I understood was that I wasn't doing anything wrong. I wasn't the wrong person, I was me. And that was good, obviously.
So I asked why I was feeling jealous the whole time. She replied that maybe I was looking at it the wrong way. I keep seeing 'happy' Gumi, 'annoying' Gumi, 'big boobs' Gumi. But maybe I wasn't seeing her whole.
Cheesy, right?
She told me to sit down with her and simply talk. Get to know her.
I scoffed, and left.
But I thought that maybe, just maybe, I would try that out.