Yo, here's the next chapter
Chapter twenty-nine: Castor's POV
I groaned, my back hitting the floor, it took me a few moments to fully understand where I was until I realized, I was stranded in a graveyard. There was only the slight trickle of moonlight falling graceful upon various tombstones that were littered about like shrapnel, reminders of the first war against Voldemort. I wondered if some of them were even old enough to have been killed by Grindelwald. I felt in the pocket of my school trousers which were now ripped, my wand was there as the box my mother had given me. I was dressed only in my old school shirt which had a large rip where my mother's spell had cut my chest. My tie hand limply from my neck, hanging more like a limp noose than something supposed to instill authority and belonging. My trousers where ripped at the knees and I looked down to see bloody scraps on my skin, my shoes were covered in dark sticky mud. My lively curly hair fell onto my face so absentmindedly I pushed it back and gulped, my eyes scanning the bleak tombstones.
"Castor?" I opened my eyes and tried to find the voice that was calling my name. It was Luna… I didn't know how she knew to come here to find me but as I clutched at the earth, my finger nails becoming dirty with mud she saw me. My exhausted body which slumped onto the down trodden grass which was brown and murky with pools of sloppy mud, I made my clothes more dirty as the stains of my blood mixed with the new mud stains. I wanted to push my glasses further up my nose but I couldn't, I felt too damaged, too drained.
"L-Luna… Luna what are you doing here?" I slurred, my exhaustion overcoming me.
She smiled and pulled me into her arms as she sat down on the dirty grass with me, not caring about the state her clothes would be in.
"I come here a lot, my mother is buried here," she whispered kissing the top of my forehead, "We thought you were dead Cas… you've been missing for four days...," I gulped. No doubt my mother had been reporting to Voldemort each day, only to come back and take care of me after… no doubt he had punished her for her failures. He was probably furious that she'd escaped through the floo network as well… seeing it as sign of cowardice when really she was overcome with the emotion of losing Sirius that she'd gone back to her family home to grieve even if it meant abandoning her master, the most important thing in her life. She never disappointed Voldemort, not if she could help it but she had there… she'd left him because of the pain of knowing her cousin was dead and that it was her who'd killed him. She wasn't evil, not like everyone thought. I couldn't believe it, I'd been unconscious for four days and I guessed my mother had just force fed me food each day… maybe I had woken up sometimes and then gone back under and I just couldn't remember. It didn't matter, either way I was damaged.
"Shouldn't you be in school?" I whispered nervously to her as she stroked my greasy hair off my face. I hadn't showered for six days and was wearing the same clothes I'd fought in, the ones smeared with my blood, I must smell disgusting. I hadn't even been wearing my robes at the time of the battle. Just this… I was currently freezing. I loved her but I almost didn't want her to touch me, feeling somewhat uncomfortable… after the torture curse… I just felt different and damaged.
"Well, it's the weekend and Dumbledore gave me special permission to visit my mother's grave… after the battle and thinking that I'd lost you… I just… it was a lot to deal with," she buried her head in my tangled mess of hair and I felt a few drops of her tears fall into my dirty, greasy hair. "I'm so happy your okay… we all thought… we all," she whispered clinging to me as I clung to her, no longer caring about my earlier feeling of being touched. I wasn't the only one who was damaged, we all were.
"I must smell pretty bad?" I whispered hugging her tightly, my arms reaching up like the arms of trees.
She grinned, "Well actually Dabberblimps are supposed to smell worse so I wouldn't worry," she grinned. I raised an eyebrow but this made me smile, it felt as though everything was slightly back to normal. "Now… we need to get you to Hogwarts," she smiled, helping me up.
I wondered, of all the places my mother could have picked why did she pick here? I guessed that in her insanity she just picked any random place, I guessed I should have been thankful that I didn't end up in Spain. Her hand grasped mine as I walked on my wobbling legs, my eyes widened when I saw Xenophilius Lovegood standing just a little off from the graveyard, his feet shuffled on the road.
"Daddy!" Luna yelled, the man turned and his eyes flooded with concern as he rushed towards Luna and I, his arms already outstretched to help Luna carry the burden of my body as I rested on his shoulder.
"I suppose there are better circumstances to meet your daughter's boyfriend but all the same it's a pleasure to meet you Castor," he smiled at me as I grasped tightly onto his robes, afraid of falling over and never being able to get up again.
"The same here, sir," I replied, my voice was scratchy and I croaked and fought to get the words out, my breathing was heavy, like I wanted to get more air in than was possible. He stopped as I understood that he was planning to apparate with me and Luna. I grasped onto him for dear life as the tugging sensation began and we were whisked away to Hogsmeade. I stumbled when we finally stopped but he picked me up as we continued the journey to Hogwarts, I was glad that there weren't lots of passersby to observe me due to it being nighttime but the few that were out found themselves gazing with slacken jaws at the bedraggled corpse of a boy as he was practically dragged towards the looming ancient castle. I finally found myself on a bed in the hospital wing with Madam Pomfrey fussing over me. Dumbledore's robes swirled as he entered the hospital wing and gazed at me through his spectacles. Although yet I hadn't had the chance to look in a mirror I was sure I was a sight for sore eyes.
"Luna found him," Xenphilius explained, his hand resting on his daughters shoulder, she gave me a weak smile which I returned the best I could.
"He's lucky to be alive," Madam Pomfrey muttered, "He's been tortured… aside from that horrible scar he obtained last year he now has this one… it's not as big thankfully but it is just as deep… and where as the other spanned from leg to collar bone this one was concentrated on his chest… like it was meant to kill. Not to mention the cruciatus curse has been used," she addressed me now, "You've had two nasty cuts like that on separate occasions and you've survived both. You're certainly a fighter." I gulped, mother hadn't meant to kill me with that second gash… she'd been angry but she'd never want to kill me. I smiled slightly at the thought of my mother. At the thought of the box in my pocket. "I must say… you do certainly need a bath," Madam Pomfrey muttered.
Dumbledore sighed, "What happened to you my boy?"
I gulped, "I don't know if you saw but… my mum… she used the floo network and I followed her," there was no way around it… I'd just have to say she kidnapped me, even though I guessed that technically it was kidnapping it didn't feel like that. Even if she did cut me with dark magic, it didn't feel like she'd really wanted to hurt me, even if she had used the curciatus curse on me, it had only been because Luscious Malfoy had pressured her. "Then… after that she attacked me and caused the cut… then she kidnapped me." In some weird way I knew that this was what my mother would want, me saying how she was guilty, it meant that I was safe from people thinking that I was in line with Voldemort and it stopped anyone from questioning her loyalty. I heard everyone breathe in sharply, "I don't remember anything though… I just remember waking up and…," it just wouldn't fit if I said she let me go. If word got out to Voldemort that she had just let me go… he'd be furious but if I said that I'd escaped my mother could use the excuse that although yes she had gone behind his back and not told him how about me she could make up some lie that she had been torturing me for information and that she was waiting until she learned something very valuable to tell her master. That way she hopefully wouldn't get punished as bad… I hated the idea of her getting punished. "And she wasn't there so I managed to escape," they didn't need to know details about me being tied up from my ankles but it appeared that Madam Pomfrey was addressing the wounds on my ankles where the chains has dug in so it appeared they were already aware anyway.
Dumbledore nodded, "I understand that this must have been very traumatic for you." I looked at Luna, we were all suffering after the battle, Hermione and Ron were cooped up in beds right now across from me but they were luckily sleeping at this point.
"It was traumatic for us all… like I said, I don't remember anything about my days in captivity… we're all damaged."
Dumbledore sighed, "Yes but wounds will heal for most of my students who went. Sure they may not have fond memories of the battle but it will make them stronger, they will thank it for you all won. Castor… the only two of you who will not view that day in such a way is you and Harry. He lost Sirius… his godfather who was like a father to him… you saw Rodolphus and Bellatrix and you lost Sirius who I understand you were also rather close to." I nodded feeling the pain well in my heart, I didn't hate my mother for what she had done… one of them had, had to die in that duel but it still hurt. He was gone and he was never coming back, no more jokes and smiles, no more stories from the past… no more Sirius. "I understand that seeing them it must have made you feel something… it is only natural but you must understand… they are not the hard working students I once had. They can't give you what you desire Castor."
I felt anger pulse through me, "Do you really understand what I feel, sir? Really? Then tell me… tell me what I 'desire'… if you're so great," I snarled at him. He didn't know me, didn't know what it felt like to see them… to feel a spot of hope that maybe you could have a nice happy life with them but knowing it wasn't possible because they were Death Eaters, even if they did abandon their cause they would only ever end up in Azkaban.
"You desire parents Castor, parents who will take you out for ice-cream or to buy the latest broom. Parents who will tuck you in at night and tell you that they love you, you desire to be able to say the words 'mum' and 'dad' without knowing that your mother and father kill and torture people and commit atrocities. They can't give you that… maybe there is the chance that they love you but the pair are dark arts fanatics… I'm sorry Castor but once you become a Death Eater there is no going back… that is their life… all they care about… Voldemort is their life… not you," inside my head I knew that although his words were harsh and cruel he was simply trying to help me. To make me realize that they couldn't be the parents I wanted. Even if they did love me… I thought that my mother did but she was so insane that she couldn't really show it… she only ended up hurting me instead… we could never have a proper relationship and well my father… he probably only wanted an heir, not a son he could love.
"Don't speak to me about my desires," I growled turning away from him.
McGonagall cleared her throat as Luna bowed her head, "I'll see you tomorrow Castor." She whispered, kissing my forehead before skipping out with her father in tow. My fingers gingerly grasped at the locket she had given me, which was hidden beneath the tattered remains of my school shirt.
"I shall inform your family that you are okay Castor," McGonagall whispered before trotting out.
"Castor I-," the headmaster began but I put up my head.
"Don't bother… just leave me alone… please… I want to be alone." I whispered feeling the tears break through. He sighed but agreed to my wish and left me in peace, where the only sound was Ron's persistent snoring. I grasped the locket and sighed pulling out my wand, "Accio sketchbook." I also then called for my pencils and colors. I might as well draw… to pass the time, draw the things that were haunting my mind. Plaguing me. Sirius's body as it floated through the veil, my parents. The worst thing though, that was haunting me… was myself. The way I had changed at seeing my parents… that was something I would never be able to forget. The way I stood in front of my mother and protected her from Harry… the way I followed her as though it was nothing. I was changed different. I was growing up but it scared me, all this change. I wanted to open the box but I didn't feel safe, not now. I was too tired but I didn't want to go to sleep… knowing that all I would find was nightmares. So I continued to draw until finally slumber took me and the nightmares ensued. At least tomorrow I would change out of these ragged clothes… tonight I was too tired to even do that.
Alright thanks guys… there will be a little more of Tonks in the next chapter among others. Okay thanks, tell me what you think! :)