Note: Let's go back to season 1.
What if: Angela had gotten Booth under the mistletoe at the Jeffersonian Christmas party?
AU? Yes
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The mass spec was off, the beetles were fed, and I was ready for some Christmas cheer, so when Angela started herding all of us towards the Jeffersonian party, I was ready for music, eggnog, and mistletoe.
Luckily, by the time I got up there, Crystal in accounting was talking the ear off of that new intern in finance, so I was free and clear to enjoy the party. I grabbed a cup of eggnog and watched Zach talking to Naomi.
Seriously, it was like watching toasters mating.
By the time that got old, Angela had arrived, Booth by her side. Booth took one look at the party and made some sort of excuse, but Angela clearly had no intention of letting him leave. As I watched, she grabbed him by his tie, dragged him under the mistletoe, and kissed him.
That's why I don't wear ties. They were created to make everyone look the same, just another tool of the man.
Not that I'd mind kissing Angela. Let's face it, she's hot, and I might perhaps have considered how she'd be in a … romantic encounter … once or twice.
In fact, I myself had definite plans to get her under the mistletoe a little later. Hey, that's what Christmas parties are for, right? They give you a chance to kiss people who would otherwise be off limits – you know, people you work with, or who are in love with your best friend.
I wasn't surprised Angela was taking advantage of the opportunity – after all, she'd as much as said so, back in the lab – but I was surprised that it looked like Booth was kissing her back.
When they finally broke apart, Booth blurted out something I couldn't hear and ran for the hills – or the refreshment table – and Angela sauntered towards me, a cat-that-swallowed-the-canary look on her face.
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You know, if Bren doesn't jump him soon, I might decide to believe all of her protests that they're "just partners" and do it myself.
Well, OK, even I have more scruples than that, but seriously, what a waste! I mean, he's hot, single, and he definitely knows how to kiss. If it weren't for the fact that he's gaga for my best friend – and she's gaga over him in return – I'd so be making a move.
But he is, and she is, and so I just sit here, wishing they'd get on with it.
Zach stumbles under the mistletoe and looks towards me, a hopeful expression on his face, so I take pity on him and give him the full mistletoe treatment – you know, the arched eyebrows, the knowing smile, and then the kiss. Maybe a little too much, because he bolts from the room as soon as I let him go. If it weren't for the fact that he's almost a robot, I'd probably be insulted.
To no one's surprise, Bren doesn't show. She's probably up in the lab, her attention focused on that skeleton Booth insisted on dropping off, completely oblivious to the party going on just down the hall.
If only there were a way to wake her up, make her notice everything she's missing ….
I'm so lost in my thoughts that I don't even notice that I've drifted under the mistletoe yet again. Hodgins notices, though, and suddenly he's there, saying "hey" and looking pointedly at the mistletoe.
For a second, he looks so mischievous that I can't help but grin, and then he kisses me, and I forget about Bren, or Zach, or the party going on around us.
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When Crystal spots me, I abandon Zach at the party and snag a cup of eggnog for consumption back in the lab. Angela's a little ahead of me, and she's walking onto the platform by the time I get to the door. As usual, Brennan is doing her bone-whisperer thing, but Angela seems pretty determined not to be ignored.
"Hey, Bren", she sing-songs, leaning against a table.
"I'm busy, Angela, I thought Booth went to the party with you?" Brennan keeps her attention on the bone in her hands, and only I can see the evil grin that flashes across Angela's face.
"Mmm hmm", she replies in an exaggeratedly-dreamy voice. "You know, sweetie, I know you and Booth are just partners, but I have to say you're missing out. The man can kiss."
The bone in Brennan's hand hits the table, and she makes a point of moving it into place as she answers. "You kissed Booth?" There's a hint of hurt in her voice, and I hope Angela knows what she's doing, because this could go very, very bad.
"Oh yeah", Angela answers, grinning at me over Brennan's head. "In fact, that's why I'm here."
Brennan picks up another bone, her movements very controlled and deliberate.
"You see, Bren, that kiss was so good that I was thinking maybe I'd ask Booth to dinner tonight, but I just wanted to make sure you were OK with it before I did."
There's silence for a moment, then Dr. B says, "I can't imagine why that would bother me, Ange."
Angela's expression changes from glee to disappointment, and she asks again, even more bluntly, "So you can't think of any reason why I shouldn't have sex with Booth?"
"You do work together", Brennan offers. "A sexual relationship would be inappropriate."
Angela grins at me, but her voice is concerned when she replies, "Oh, I didn't think of that. Thanks, Bren, I guess Booth will just have to be the one that got away." She saunters off the platform in my direction as Dr. Brennan remains intent on her bones.
The lab is quiet except for her footsteps. It's not until she's about ten feet from the door that she stops and whirls around. "Bren?"
For the first time, Dr. B looks up from her bones. "Yes?"
"Thanks for the advice."
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I do not actually recommend that you kiss your coworkers at a company Christmas party.