School was being impractical, and tests were teaming up on the horizon. I couldn't walk up to Lily and cancel our...outing. I felt that it would sour things. Actually, to be bluntly honest, I didn't want to cancel.
I asked our boss if I could take a break from work and study. He agreed, and boy did I study. By Thursday I had learned everything, and already the most difficult tests were behind me. I was finally delivered from work, though Lily was out...curious how she had become my first go-to when I had free time.
Truthfully, it was starting to scare me. At first she haunted me because I worried. Now it's...something else. Whenever I'd think about it, I'd start fumbling around with things. I would drum with my pencil, tear the edges of my notebook. The idea of her smiling because I was around, or rather the memory of it, made my head spin and my knees weak.
I couldn't forget our meeting, too. We would go shopping together, and I wondered how it would go. I worried that it might be awkward, may I screw it up? I was focusing on every single detail, wondering how it could go wrong. In consequence, I had a back-up plan for everything, and planned to arrive ten minutes early.
Luckily, when the day came, only the first few moments were awkward. When I tried to fix it with mundane conversation, she told me to change the subject to something happier.
How could I decline?
It ended up being everything I ever dreamed of. She took my jokes well, even retaliating, letting me see a new sense of humor. She even jested in her own way, and instead of being soured by her grim comedy, I felt how she only wanted to entertain in her own way, and actually found her funny.
However, an A-cup bra was something to never attempt again. Also, I wouldn't dream of asking Lily to wear a sweater again. I wanted to see her.
I did. I didn't care about her weird clothes any longer.
I stared at her often. She's beautiful, lively, smart.
It would be lying, to say that I feared Lily. It would be lying to say that I didn't care about Lily, or that I found her grim, bland, grumpy. It would be a lie, to deny that I was actually starting to feel...feelings for her.
I wished the lie was the truth, because this truth...it's the truth, that scares me.