A/N: I have to bow to my reviewers for bringing up some great points. Firstly, the Furinkan High student body; I want to point out that their reactions are subjected to Akane's point of view (no more hints!). Also, without spoiling my story or the amazing work it is based loosely upon, be mindful that Silver Linings Playbook by the amazing Matthew Quick is the creative muse for this story; those that have read/seen it might have me figured out after this chapter (but even if you've read the novel, I got tricks up my sleeve so don't get comfy). Edited! Please refer to the prologue for content rating information.
Disclaimer: The original work below is based on the characters and works of Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Media. I do not own the rights to any of this content, and am not benefiting financially from its publishing.
Silver Linings Dojo
by Kevin Mohaj
Chapter 3: Parfaits and Psychology
When Saotome Ranma first came to Nerima, the life of Sensei Ono Tofu seemed to pick up at a rapid pace. For the first few months Tofu didn't think much into the situation: Ranma was a martial artist that had extensive training and remarkable restraint given his raw power. Akane and Ranma being together just felt right, just seemed natural. Tofu even contributed in his own ways to bringing the couple closer together.
For that, I was a fool.
Tofu stands in his large office and faces out the window, bracing against the casing as he sighs heavily. It took some time, but Tofu realized that pushing Ranma and Akane together was damaging to both of them as they tried to contend with numerous engagements, almost constant interference from their families, and chaotic life threatening situations. Tofu grimaced at that last thought; Genma told him the details of the fight with Saffron. A little over a year ago, after he learned of the Shishi Hokodan and Moko Takabisha, Tofu decided it was past time to pick up his old research into paranormal psychology. Being a chi adept, Tofu experimented with these maneuvers to try and better understand his most frequent patient's mind frame.
Ranma's ability to cope with even the most traumatic events astounded Tofu; however, after Akane was kidnapped Tofu realized that for Ranma the stakes had never been higher. He's barely an adult and he's killed an opponent in defense and watched his fiancée almost die in his arms; Tofu wasn't surprised by the call from Kasumi this morning, once he stopped talking into the wrong end of the phone he was able to get the essentials before his resolve fell.
Maybe Ranma isn't the only reason I picked psychology back up…
Tofu smiled in spite of himself as he recalled the weeks spent at the Tendo home to provide support and help the family through the difficult time after Akane was kidnapped. While a large portion of that time was spent dancing and talking to plants, Tofu feels that his resistance to his condition is improving. With time he should be able to bear Kasumi's presence permanently, but for the moment the good doctor clears his head once more while his thoughts return to the pigtailed martial artist and his fiancée.
Kasumi's description of Ranma's behavior was worrisome. Something happened during or after the battle with Saffron that caused his behavior to change drastically. Tofu had a few theories, but was more or less certain that Ranma was facing a post-traumatic stress disorder situation.
That doesn't explain the Soul of Ice manifesting physically.
Tofu sighed as his thoughts continued to circle that logical drain. The complete dissociation of body, soul, and mind was a very difficult chi exercise; one he never thought could be so strongly invoked. That piece of the puzzle was frustrating the good doctor to no end.
However, listening between the words as Kasumi was explaining Ranma's current state; Tofu saw another piece, or perhaps an entirely different puzzle: Akane. With everybody focused on Ranma's condition, Tofu is in some ways more concerned about the blue haired martial artist's well-being after reportedly having a near death experience.
His thoughts are interrupted by the ring of his front entrance bell. Tofu smiles at Ranma-chan as he mentally takes stock of several important observations. Ranma, apparently, came to the appointment as a female given that her clothes and hair appeared completely dry. Interesting. Also, the girl was waxen and thinner than when they first returned. Most importantly, the chi emanations coming from the redhead felt distorted in some way.
"Ranma, it's good to see you. Why don't you have a seat in the office and I'll be right there with tea."
Ranma nodded and walked into the back room without a word. As he was setting up his simple mahogany tea service, Akane came through the door.
"Hello Akane, would you like to have a seat while I talk with Ranma? I have some interesting new magazines available." This was a severe understatement; the waiting room table was covered in all the current and most popular magazines of Tokyo. The magazine salesperson happened to visit right after Kasumi had brought the doctor a special bento lunch. By the end of the encounter, Tofu's clinic was the proud subscriber of no less than 40 magazine subscriptions.
"Hello, sensei. Thanks, I'll just wait here" the blue haired martial artist said while taking a seat. Tofu finished preparing tea and headed to the backroom as Akane started picking through a magazine.
Tofu set the tea service on the table in his office and sat across from Ranma in a leather office chair. Ranma-chan sat in the center of a couch against the wall. Tofu resumed his 'study' of his patient; the doctor knew that any slight action or reaction might assist in a prognosis. He held his surprise when Ranma-chan gracefully served first the doctor and then herself a cup of strong dark tea; she even waited for him to take his cup before picking her own up and inhaling the steam. Beyond interesting.
"Ranma, can I ask you a question" Tofu sipped his tea at the girl's nod and then set his cup down before continuing "why are you here today?"
Ranma looked surprised by the question, and replied quickly "Kasumi-oneesan and Akane thought talking to somebody would help."
Tofu shook his head, and repeated his question with inflection "No, Ranma, why are you here today?"
After a pause, the girl's eyes began to water and she whispered "I think I need help."
Tofu noticed a faint glow of chi around Ranma, steel blue like her eyes, as the temperature in the room dropped. Tofu held a hand up quickly and said "Ranma, I want you to remove the Soul of Ice immediately. I will not help you if you continue its use, and I believe you know why."
Ranma-chan gaped at the doctor, and then slowly the blue aura dissipated. Tofu, still very watchful of his charge, noticed that beads of water were collecting around Ranma's forehead and her hands. This just keeps getting better, the doctor thought with some exasperation.
"Thank you, Ranma. Can you describe to me how you are feeling right now?"
Ranma tried to sip her tea, but with shaking hands she returned it to the plate and sighed. "I feel like I'm going crazy. Ever since… that day… I can't sleep, and never seem to get hungry. I've been having nightmares…" the redhead choked out the last sentence and started to quietly cry.
Tofu was making notes in his journal while his eyes were fixed on the teenager before him. Something's missing.
"Ranma, if I might ask, why did you decide to spend today as a woman?"
He expected Ranma's usual masculinity-oriented upbringing to remain constant, even after a traumatic event like the death of a loved one or killing in defense. The redhead seemed to think about the question before looking up and Tofu caught on to her anxiety, he quickly amended "Remember, Ranma, everything that happens in this office is confidential. I have taken steps to ensure it remains that way." By this of course he was referring to his Kasumi-training; he didn't want Ranma to think his secret thoughts were in jeopardy because of the doctor's affliction.
"Well," the redhead started "I am a woman, and a man. I am both, and neither. I spent two years clinging onto some dreams: a cure for the curse, to be left alone by these wackos, maybe some other ones." She paused at that and took a deep breath, which caused Tofu to scribble a few more lines in his journal. "After the… wedding…" Ranma-chan continued "We… I mean… I guess I realized that the curse really wasn't meant to be cured."
Feeling there was more this (and not missing the pronoun slip), Tofu gently prodded, "Continue, Ranma, I'm listening."
The girl began to tear up, "I think I knew when Taro first returned… his curse didn't change… it merged. But, I was stubborn. I wanted to be a man again, wanted to have some control. I think it was when Jusenkyo flooded that I really gave up on a cure."
Tofu nodded, still scribbling; his own theory on the cursed springs was very much the same. Only testing the theory would solve the riddle, but if curses could merge… becoming a hermaphrodite in the truest sense would likely send the sometimes boy over some edge of identity crisis.
"Ranma, I am happy that you can begin to accept what has happened to you. However, you have not answered my question yet again: why did you decide to spend today as a woman?"
Ranma-chan flinched a little, and her eyes darted to the office door. The doctor knew that Ranma was experiencing some very intense emotions, but awaited her reply.
"I… it's stupid. You'd just laugh," the girl stated refusing to meet his eyes.
"Ranma, that will never happen. This is a safe place, where you can say what you feel without judgment."
"Well… I thought if Akane could… you know… maybe if she could see past… the curse, ya know? Like, if she could accept me for what I am?"
Tofu frowned. "Ranma, I have spoken with Akane often, and your families as well, what makes you think she doesn't accept you for what you are?"
Ranma-chan laughed bitterly, "She just wanted to marry me to… I dunno… pay me back for saving her?" She scowled before continuing "I thought she was marrying me… I dunno, doc, but I thought wrong."
Now, Tofu knew that the two teenagers had a very strange relationship, but this was something… new?
"So, you wanted to marry Akane that day because you love her?" Tofu made certain to state the question as evenly and bluntly as possible.
"Yea, but she said she was… 'making herself' go through with it. Then she mentioned the Nannichuan. I thought if I could just get rid of this body that she might…"
At that, the redhead drew her knees up and began to sob into her hands.
Tofu sighed heavily; this Ranma was drastically different from the Ranma that left for China. He poured the girl another cup of tea and set a box of tissue closer to her, and he waited. Waiting was very important to Tofu. While the doctor waited, a patient would often display the true underlying symptoms of their condition. This particular patient was beside herself, allowing Tofu an opportunity to extend his chi senses and truly observe Ranma's aura.
It was like nothing he had ever seen before, as far as auras go, the display was as if light was pouring through a prism: various emotions he recognized were there, but also numerous others that he didn't recognize or that didn't make sense to him. It was haunting. The doctor thought the aura was, in a way, very beautiful as it was complex and ever changing; however, it also ached to watch, like his senses were being overwhelmed by the irradiation. One emotion in particular spiked when the redhead mentioned getting rid 'of this body' that again surprised the doctor: self-sacrifice.
Tofu thought on that emotion while Ranma composed herself. It was clear that the pigtailed martial artist at this point in time did not want to be cured, in fact, that emotion resounding, it appeared that Ranma would consider a cure to be removing a part of herself forever. More worrisome, if not surprising, was Ranma's apparent willingness to do anything for his fiancée. Tofu really didn't want to breach the subject of Saffron on this visit; Ranma was already going through too much for one day of therapy to handle.
"Is there anything you are not telling me, Ranma?" The doctor kept his tone light, but also persistent. He noticed when the girl shivered for a moment before she slowly spoke.
"I've… kinda… been hearing a voice in my head," Ranma met the doctor's eyes.
"Go on," the doctor commanded gently.
"Well, at first I thought I was just stressed. Especially because of… what happened in China. But, she doesn't seem to go away."
Tofu finished scribbling notes and calmly met Ranma's eyes before he remarked, "She? The voice is feminine?"
Ranma laughed, but it sounded hollow to Tofu, and continued "Yeah, she's definitely feminine."
Tofu took up the lead as the redhead fell quiet, "What types of things does the voice say to you?" he asked seriously.
"That's kind of the problem, doc." The redhead said cryptically, "I've begun to lose track of whose talking now… Sometimes, I can't really tell if she's talking to me or if I'm just thinking aloud in her voice. Doc, I think I'm going crazy."
Tofu studied the redhead for a moment, and then he leaned forward and connected his hands in front of him. With as much bedside manner as he could muster, the doctor spoke gently, "You have been through more in one month than most adults have to deal with in a lifetime. For my part, I am very proud of you for handling it so well alone up to this point. I also want to point out that your entire identity is shaped around a paranormal trauma, and for that reason, may be fragile. What I am saying Ranma is two-fold: you are not crazy, but you do require help. I want to see you weekly on Saturdays here in my office until we have a better idea of what we are dealing with. In the meantime, I want you to stop using the Soul of Ice so often. I imagine it helps with the voices?" At Ranma's nod the doctor sighed and continued, "Remember Ranma, until you fully experience the pain of the trauma you will always be building that pain up inside. Have you considered what might happen if that pent up emotion were to suddenly snap?"
Ranma recoils in horror at Tofu's words, and the doctor knew that the girl understood: Hibiki Ryoga on his worse day couldn't challenge a Kami, much less slaughter one. If Ranma doesn't release this kaleidoscope of pent up emotion, she could easily destroy Tokyo in seconds.
~~~k~m~~~
"Akane, would you mind stepping into my office for a moment. Ranma, please have a seat, and do enjoy some magazines… maybe take a few home." Tofu followed Akane into the office.
The blue haired girl looked confused and somewhat nervous before she spoke, "What did you want to see me about, Ono-sensei?"
Tofu flipped a page in his journal and regarded the girl carefully before he responded, "I wanted to talk to you as well, Akane. I have heard that you found Ranma last night; you described it to Kasumi as if he were having a fit? Could you elaborate to me on what you saw?"
Akane blushed briefly. How could Kasumi tell Tofu-sensei that I saw Ranma in the night like that!
"Well… I heard a loud noise coming from his room. I, uh… checked on him and I noticed he was huddled in a corner."
The doctor nodded, scribbling a few notes, "So he was male at this time, alright, what happened next as you recall?"
Akane bit her lip nervously, so Tofu sighed, "Everything you say will be kept in total confidence. I told Ranma the same thing, and it's true."
Akane nodded, and then she continued her narrative. How Ranma thought there were enemies in the room, how she was terrified until he seemed to come back to himself at her touch. How she worried that he was talking to himself and thought she wasn't real. Tofu scribbled furiously, nodding slightly to himself. Then he tossed a question to throw Akane off her track.
"Akane, can you describe to me how you are feeling right now?" it was his most useful tool for starting a prognosis. Address the patient calmly, ask if they are even capable of talking, and what they are feeling at the moment—all wrapped up in one tidy question. If the problems facing the teenager weren't as severe, he wouldn't resort to his suggestion technique.
Akane frowned, put off by the change of topic from Ranma to herself, "How I am feeling? Well, I guess I'm confused mostly, and worried, and…" She paused, but Tofu waved her to continue, "maybe… I've been a bit paranoid lately."
Tofu nodded as he continued to take notes. "Could you elaborate on those three emotions? Why you feel them, when they started?"
Akane looked confused but seemed to take the bait. She considered his questions before responding, "Well, I'm confused for many reasons: I was kidnapped, killed, returned to life, almost married, almost blown up, and now Ranma is… the way he is now. All within a month, so yeah… confused. Scared? Well, I have nightmares about that day, or another time when Ranma was there to save my life. Except they don't end the way they are supposed to; he never reaches me in time. Or, right before he does I watch as he is slain in front of me."
Tofu was nodding and scribbling when he held his hand up, "You also mentioned being paranoid? Could you elaborate on that as well?"
Akane nodded, "Well… Ukyo hasn't been at school all week, the Kuno siblings have disappeared, I haven't even seen that Amazon bimbo anywhere. I worry that they are planning something, but I also worry… it's just not normal… and part of me worries that Ranma is hiding something."
Tofu looked at her seriously, "You think Ranma has done something to them."
Akane was startled by the statement of fact, and just nodded. "I don't think… the Ranma I know wouldn't…"
"Kill somebody?" the doctor asked deadpanned.
Akane recoiled like she had been struck. "Ono-sensei, you don't think he would do something like that do you?"
The doctor considered Akane for a moment. "Akane, I would not share anything you told me with Ranma, and likewise, will not tell you anything of what my discussions with Ranma involve, but as an answer to your question: I do not believe the Ranma we know would kill anybody except out of defense of himself or those he protects."
Akane nodded in agreement which also interested the doctor, he continued, "Tell me, Akane, what about people not so close to you? How was your last week at school?"
At this Akane buckled, she dropped her face into her hands crying.
Hit the mark again, two for two today Tofu, not bad.
Akane sobbed out "everybody at school hates me, Ranma hates me. I feel like everybody is against me." The sobbing girl went on to describe the past week at school, and what she referred to as the incident. Tofu was taking notes, especially when she mentioned the tree at school that was apparently still encased in ice despite the heat of the week.
After she finished her tirade, Tofu leaned forward and began to speak very gently, "Akane, you have yourself been through a severely traumatic event. Not very different from Ranma, and the way trauma affects us is always unique to the individual. Your fears and your paranoia are very common symptoms of what the medical community calls Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."
"Like soldiers get?" Akane asked tentatively.
"Many people that experience a traumatic situation may develop PTSD. Like I said, it's a blanket term for a specific array of symptoms. Paranoia, nightmares, the feeling that everybody is out to get you—these are textbook examples of PTSD symptoms. The important thing to remember is that with time, and therapy, your life may still return to the general chaos you've grown accustomed to. I want to see you and Ranma, every Saturday, until we have a better grasp on what is happening. Next week, we will start discussing how we can get past your fears. For now, I want you to do something important for me."
Akane was looking more depressed with every word, so Tofu knew he needed to spin this visit around quickly, he continued, "I want you to do something uniquely Akane, maybe something you've always wanted to do, but were afraid to. Something simple, say, a hobby? Ceramics, tea ceremony, acting, music—there are many good options that will help you adjust to a return to normal living. Don't answer now… just think about it and we will talk next week, OK?"
Akane looked up and put on a brave smile. He led the blue haired girl out of the office and waved her and Ranma-chan out the door.
Tofu noticed the magazine Akane was reading with a smile, of course he had placed it on the top of the large stack. He picked it up, checking the tear out stub, and smiled when he saw it was freshly ripped off.
Just a small push in the right direction.
Upon returning to his office, Tofu grabbed a bottle from the table and tossed a few pills into his mouth. Sometimes doctor's little helper is just a necessity, especially when your patients are extremely dangerous and volatile teenagers.
Now, to try and make some sense of this mess.
~~~k~m~~~
Ranma walked out of the doctor's office with their conversation still crowding her mind. Why didn't she think about the Shishi Hokodan battle before today? Worse, she knew the doctor was right. By using the Soul of Ice to suppress her emotions she was effectively building up an emotional surplus. How much would it take before she did 'snap' as the doc put it?
'I guess that means you're going to have to put up with me, huh?'
Yeah, yeah.
Ignoring the giggling in her head, she looks over at Akane.
Wonder what she and the doc talked about.
'She seems upset, maybe you should take her for some ice cream?'
You sure know which buttons to press.
More giggling, Ranma sighed in exasperation. Then, she slowed down to match Akane's pace and grabbed her hand using her fingers saying "Hey, 'Kane, why don't we get some ice cream? My treat?"
Ranma felt Akane start to pull away for a moment and hesitated, but then the blue haired girl just looked down at her and smiled with a quick nod. Ranma grinned and pulled her into a nearby ice cream parlor. They sat enjoying a parfait when Akane started giggling at Ranma.
"Nani?" the redhead asked looking up.
What does she think is so funny?
Akane laughed and pointed at Ranma's face, "You have whipped cream on your nose!"
Ranma blushed, scrubbing her face with a napkin. She smiled and sheepishly responded, "Guess I need to learn better table manners like a proper lady."
Where the hell did that come from?
'I… don't know. She seemed to enjoy it though.'
Ranma looked up from her napkin to see Akane giggling hysterically at Ranma's comment. In spite of herself Ranma was smiling, glad to see Akane happy for once.
'Wherever it came from, I could use more of that smile on her face.'
Yeah, I know what you mean.
Ranma stuck her tongue at the blue haired girl and finished her parfait with all her remaining shreds of dignity.