Author's Note: Yay! Another chapter! And this one is a doozy. A lot of stuff happens, so I hope it doesn't get too chaotic! Plus, one of the songs that inspired this story is in this chapter, so eep!
Side Note: Next update won't be until June. (Sorry!) Taking a short trip for the week. Though, I'm hoping to update 'Hear Me Now' before I leave.
I love you all, and be back as soon as I can!
*Warning*: Brief smut in this.
Song explanation:
(Nick and Jeff) (Parentheses/Bold)
Blaine (Bold)
Hope you like it and it makes sense! Let me know if it doesn't!
Again, no beta. All mistakes are my own.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing, nothing. No profit made etc. See Chapter 1 for more elaborate disclaimer.
~C.J.
(Chapter 13)
Blaine gripped his hair as he leant over the dresser, his elbows holding him up, his body shaking with the effort it took to keep himself from screaming. He was tired, so tired, up for almost two days now. Nonstop practicing and being criticized by his so called friends. He was doing everything they had told him to do, why was it never enough? He's wearing the ungodly-tight black jeans, studded black belt, combat boots, and their band shirt that read 'Pav's Last Song'; all specially picked out by the one called Wes. Blaine didn't mind it. He really didn't. They're just clothes, just clothes. They don't define him. It's a costume, that's all it is.
"Puck is gonna be here any minute! Where the hell are Jeff and Nick?!" Wes screamed from the other side of the loft's closed bedroom door.
Blaine picked up his head then, wiping at his wet tired eyes. The way he looked in the mirror was dreadful. His face was scruffy all to hell, Wes had told him not to shave because it gave him a harder, more believably rugged edge. Like really, he couldn't even shave now? Blaine quickly grabbed a wipe and cleaned up his eyes a bit, he didn't feel like getting talked at because he smudged his eyeliner (again). Giving up on that, he just wiped it all off and reapplied the black liner, cursing several different deities when he poked his eye none too gently. Throwing the pencil somewhere, Blaine looked back in the mirror and let out a pitiful whimper. He reached up to his once bouncy black curls and ran his fingers through his straightened coarse hair. Eyes welling up with tears at the memory of the hot steamy metal pressing his hair into these starched lifeless stands.
Wes, I don't really want—
Nonsense, everyone else has their hair straightened.
Bu-But no one else's hair is curly.
It's not my fault your hair is a wild mess. Trust me. It'll be great.
I…I could always gel it into something tasteful, and tamed.
Gel is so out. Straight hair? In.
Can I at least have a nap after this?
And ruin my work on your hair? I'll get you some more coffee after this.
It'll be real quick and I'll be real careful, I promise.
Puck will be here in a couple hours! We don't have time for naps!
…if you say so.
"Blaine? Wes and David said Puck is here. Are you…ready?"
Blaine looked up with a gasp as he was taken out of his thoughts. Blinking a couple of times, he cleared his throat and smoothed down his hair over his forehead. "H-Hey, Trent. Yeah, I'm good. Ready to rock his socks off?" He said, hollow smile firmly in place as he turned towards his friend.
Trent gave an unsure half-smile, walking over and putting a hand on Blaine's shoulder. "I know Wes has been kind of a control-freak, but he always lightens up after stuff like this is over and done with."
Maybe to you guys.
"Blaine, I know you think nobody notices how…off…you've been these last few weeks, but Jeff and I have. And…well…here." Trent thrust a small slip of paper into Blaine's unprepared hands.
Blaine caught the paper as it slipped out of his hands before it could flutter to the ground. He furrowed his brows at it for a moment, and then unfolded the slip. "I don't understand."
Trent smiled slightly, "It's a time slot. You know, for an audition."
Blaine snapped his eyes up in shock. "W-What?"
"You didn't think I'd forget, did you? Broadway was all you ever talked about when we were at Dalton." Then his smile dampened. "It was what you really wanted to do out here, not THIS." Trent scrunched his nose up, motioning to the chaos that was probably bustling behind them in the other room.
"No, no, I can't. I mean…how did you even get one of these? You hate Broadway."
Trent just waved his hand dismissively at him. "Remember Thad from The Warblers? I still keep in touch with him. I few weeks ago he told me his friend's father had just invested in helping produce a new musical written by…Chaz Loreman? I think. Anyways, Thad said they're holding auditions in a couple weeks to find their cast. I asked if maybe he could see to reserving a spot for a new-faced talent, and…I guess 'new' was what the casting crew wanted."
He literally has no idea how big this is, does he?
Blaine's brain short-circuited for a moment. In the next second, he grabbed Trent by the shoulders and forcibly shook him. "Baz Luhrmann…are you trying to tell me, BAZ LUHRMANN is the writer of this musical?"
No…no…it can't be.
When has my luck ever been anything but shit?
Th-This is too good to be true.
Trent nodded and snapped his fingers in recognition. "Oh! Oh, yeah! That was his name, and I think the musical was going to be called…uh."
"Trent, oh my God, if you say 'Moulin Rouge' I may actually kiss you."
"Oh, ew dude, no. I love you and all, but just not like that."
"Trent!"
Trent chuckled, "I could have sworn he said Moldy Scrooge the first time around. However, I do believe Thad said it was for 'Moulin Rouge,' but don't go spreading that around! This thing is like…by invitation only, closed audition sort of thing."
Blaine enveloped his friend in a hug, lifting the boy up off the ground for a few seconds before setting him back down. The genuine happiness slipped from his face once again as he looked over Trent's shoulder anxiously. "What about you guys? I don't think the others would be all too happy or understanding with me even considering this."
Trent snorted. "Then I guess we just won't tell the others, will we?" Blaine felt himself smiling again, eyes tearing up. "It's just an audition, Blaine. Something to think about and look forward to when the others turn into complete asses." Trent patted his shoulder again, "You're my friend, Blaine. I'm sorry if I sometimes haven't acted like it."
Blaine just let out a wet chuckle and stuffed the slip into his pocket. "Trent, this…this is awesome. And you? You are awesome." Trent beamed, nearly bouncing in his checkerboard sneakers. Blaine hooked an arm around his friend's shoulders, walking his way towards the door. "Now, lets get out there before Wes finds that damn gavel and throws it at our heads." Before the pair could enter the other room, Blaine halted them for a second. "Oh, wait! Everybody was good with the song I suggested, right?"
Trent nodded vigorously, happy to see Blaine finally have a little bit of a lively bounce back in his step. "Oh, sure! Neither Wes nor David cared. They said as long as you nailed it, they were good with it."
"Jeff and Nick?"
"Pfft, Jeff was happy as a clam, and when has Nick ever cared about something that didn't directly have anything to do with him?"
I guess I should be grateful for being allowed this much.
"Oh…well, let's go play some killer chords then." Blaine smirked, the note in his pocket giving him hope for the first time in months. Well, besides the hope he felt when he was with a certain blue-eyed beauty.
Hey ;) –B.A.
Uh oh. Winky face. Someone's feeling flirty. :P –Kurt
Only with you. :D –B.A.
Don't I feel special! ^-^ -Kurt
Lol! Btw, I'm really looking forward to our date tomorrow night. –B.A.
Are you? :) -Kurt
Yes! Thanks again for being so cool with the whole reschedule thing. You're wonderful. –B.A.
Hah! I made you blush, didn't I? –B.A.
No! -Kurt
Maybe… -Kurt
You're adorable you know that? –B.A.
Crap! I gotta go. I'll call you tonight once I'm back in town. Oh, the glamour of being a roadie! XOXO –B.A.
Real hugs and kisses to come when I actually see you. ;) –B.A.
"Kurt, if you smile any wider I'm gonna see the scars from where your wisdom teeth used to be."
Kurt jerked his head up and blushed, pocketing his phone after he may or may not have been reading through his earlier text message conversations with Blaine for the fifth time that day. "Whatever Noah, you're the one who dragged me along with you. I still can't see why you couldn't have brought Jake." He rolled eyes again, staring up at the building they were entering.
"Jake is getting things ready to open the bar up for tonight, and I swear if you call me Noah one more time…"
"Suck it, Puckerman. You're not going to do jack."
"Damn, what happened to all you gays being happy and nice? You're just snippy and mean."
Kurt let out a short chuckle. "You did not just say 'all you gays.' We're not a pride of lions."
Puck laughed and clapped Kurt on the back as they stepped into the elevator and ascended up to floor Puck had an appointment on. "Oooh that would make y'all a 'Gay Pride,' huh?"
"Oh my Gaga, stop. Just stop talking. That was an unnecessary use of your mouth."
"Wow, insert dirty joke here."
"I'm this close to ripping out your other nipple ring."
"Jeez, what's the matter with you, Hummel? Forget to take your butt plug out this morning?"
Kurt turned beat red and forcibly shoved at Puck's shoulder, glaring when he just smirked cockily at him. "That's vulgar…and you were WAY too comfortable saying that statement."
Puck chuckled, "That wasn't a no…"
"Shut it!"
When the elevator dinged and the doors opened, Kurt briskly exited while Puck just walked nonchalantly. "So…who's the guy sending you cutie texts and making your heart go all a twitter with rainbow love."
"We are not having this conversation."
"Aww is little Kurtie blushing?"
"I'm ignoring you."
"Kurtie wants to do the nasty with Mr. Texting."
"Keep your voice down, there are other people in this hallway. Hi, how you doing? I don't know him. Call the police." Kurt smiled; waving to a little old lady he passed who looked absolutely horrified by their banter.
"You know you like me. We're practically family thanks to Finn."
"You know that makes you related to Rachel too, right?"
Puck gasped, "That's a terrible thing to say! Take it back!"
Kurt chuckled, getting a mischievous glint in his glasz eyes. "If you and Finn are practically brothers, then Rachel is practically your SISTER."
"You horrible, horrible little elf."
"Puck! You're here—" The door to the loft they'd been arguing in front of swung open, revealing an overly excited young black male. "And…Finn? He's back from his honeymoon."
"He did not just call me Finn. I'm offended."
Puck rolled his eyes, "No, Finn is still vacationing with his psycho wife."
"Careful, that's our sister you're talking about." Kurt reminded, a smirk in his voice.
"THIS is Kurt 'Lady' Hummel…"
"Parole miscreant."
Puck made a crude gesture towards Kurt, smirking when Kurt just rolled his eyes at him. Their friendship was odd, to say the least, because acting as if they actually liked each other would be too dull for a couple of guys like them. "…and he is Finn's step-brother. He's here to give a second opinion on the band."
"Against my will I might add. He threatened my designer wardrobe with a paintball gun."
The guy at the door stared at them for a moment, "Are you two…like…together?"
Kurt blanched, "Ew, no."
"No, if I was gay I could do better." The next thing Puck knew was that his cheek hurt and he was yelping in pain. "You slapped me!"
"Damn right! I'm a catch and you know it."
Puck huffed out a breath as rubbed at his sore cheek, "Yeah, ok. I deserved that one. You're a catch, one in a million, blah, blah, blah." He said in an unconvincing tone.
"Exactly. Now, what was your name again?" Kurt asked, Puck glaring at how he was suddenly all polite.
"Um…David?"
"David, that's a nice name. Would you kindly point me towards you bathroom?" Kurt smiled cheerily. David raised his hand wordlessly and pointed to it.
"Thank you."
"Kiss-ass."
"Bite me, Puckerman!" Kurt said loudly as he made his way towards the bathroom, hearing as Puck conversed more with that David character and some other frantic voice shout for an apparently missing Jeff and Nick. Kurt pushed on the appointed bathroom door, wriggling the doorknob a couple times until it let him in when he wasn't able to do so on the first try. The door shut closed behind him, but he didn't hear it because what he saw next made his jaw drop.
"Oh God, Nicky…please."
"Yeah, you like that, don't you? Love begging me to give it to you."
"Nicky…" The blonde bent over the bathroom sink whined. "I need to come."
The brunette groaned, "How can I do anything when you keep fucking yourself on my cock?"
Kurt covered his eyes and squeaked. Wondering how the hell he can catch the same couple in a sexual act within the same week. The slapping of skin was heard again and Kurt realized he still had not been noticed. "Oh my God! You realize someone else is in here too, right?!"
The groaning and slapping immediately stopped, "Jeff, I thought you locked the fucking door?!"
The other male, presumable Jeff, keened. "I…I can't…I can't think when your pressing right up on my prostate." A loud squelching sound that echoed off the tiles was heard—Nick most likely pulling out, not that Kurt wanted to look to be certain—followed by Jeff whimpering pitifully at the motion. Rustling was heard, multiple mumbled curses, and zippers being done up. "Holy shit. Nicky, isn't he the one who saw us in the mirror place a few days ago?"
Kurt, peeking through his fingers, let out a breath of relief when he saw that they both had their clothes back on and were decent. "I was just thinking the same thing."
Nick narrowed his eyes, "What, do you have some voyeur kink or something? What the hell are you even doing here? Like…in this building…in this specific loft?"
Kurt put down his hands and smoothed out his cardigan. "I came here with Puck. The guy who's bar you guys are auditioning for?"
Both the boys' eyes widened as they quickly smoothed out their rumbled, most likely sweaty, clothes. "Holy crap, he's here already?"
Jeff frowned, "Wes is going to chew us out so bad."
"Don't worry, baby. I'll talk to him. Let's just hurry up and get out there." Nick went up on his tiptoes and kissed Jeff lightly on the lips, causing the taller male to giggle.
"Okay…I love you, Nicky."
"Love you too, Babe."
Kurt cleared his throat. The whole scene would have been cute if he hadn't walked in on them fucking about two second ago. "Can I wash my hands now?"
Jeff blushed, nodding shyly before scurrying out of the bathroom. Nick's hands on the blonde one's back as he followed, mumbling something that sounded like 'friggin' cock-block' when he passed by Kurt.
I never want to see two people having sex ever again.
Kurt walked over to the sink, scrunching up his nose at the sweaty handprints still fading on the porcelain sides. He gingerly turned on the faucet and washed his hands, using extra soap from the dispenser he found knocked on the ground. Kurt shook his head once he was done, almost laughing at absurdity of it all.
I wonder what Blaine would think of all this?
Kurt smiled while thinking of Blaine, couldn't wait for his next date with him. Despite Puck's obnoxiousness and his last experience, he was thinking of taking Blaine to 'The Pinn Up' on one of their DJ nights. He felt like dancing would be a good thing to try with him, plus maybe he could reenact his dream he had about Blaine a few nights ago. Not that he would ever tell Blaine about what he dreamt.
I wonder if I would be able to request that song.
I wonder if he can even dance.
Kurt heard loud sounds that could only be acquainted to microphones being moved. Then he heard drumsticks being banged against each other, counting down before the song was to begin he assumed. Suddenly, notes were being played on a guitar, clear enough that even Kurt could hear the music notes through the wall.
It's late at night
the world's asleep
And I'm trying not to think
Hey, they don't sound half bad.
I take some pills cause my mind bleeds
I'm thinking 'what is wrong with me?'
Huh…the singer. He sounds pretty good actually.
Because the only thing I know about honesty
Is every lie I told that you believed
Kurt smiled to himself as he listened through the wall, finding the voice of the singer oddly captivating even though the genre of the music wasn't really his thing.
I'm afraid
To be alone
I'm afraid
That one day you'll find out
Then when the singer's voice changed an octave, Kurt felt his brow furrow.
And you'll be amazed
At the secrets I keep
You'll be amazed
At my mouth full of lies
Why does he sound so…so FAMILIAR?
But I'm too afraid
To come clean
Cause my life's the flame
In a house of cards
Kurt felt his feet moving towards the bathroom door, his mind racing and telling him that it couldn't be who he thought it is.
Now I can't look you in your eyes
Because the guilt is killing me
It can't be him.
It can't be.
I try to disconnect my heart again
Just so I can breathe
Blaine's out of town, helping a friend move some music equipment.
I wanna be myself again
But I just can't cause I'm a—
He wouldn't…LIE to me.
Blaine's honest, and kind, and trustworthy.
—fraid
To be alone
I'm afraid
That one day you'll find out
Isn't he?
And you'll be amazed
At the secrets I keep
Kurt slowly twisted the doorknob, not ready to believe that he made the mistake of trusting someone who didn't deserve it, again.
You'll be amazed
At my mouth full of lies
When the door finally opened, Kurt coughed and waved his hand in front of his face. Trying to disperse some of the smog from the smoke machine the band was obviously using, the strobe light flickering somewhere in the room not making his ability to see the singer clearer any better.
But I'm too afraid
To come clean
Kurt spotted Puck sitting in chair, watching the band perform a few feet away. He slowly walked over to him, not wanting to trip on any electrical wires and such.
Cause my life's the flame
In a house of cards
When Kurt finally made it to Puck, he realized that the Mohawk wearing male was looking at the spectacle with a look of confusion and fascination. He turned towards the performance, catching sight of the singer as the smoke cleared from his face.
It's such a shame what I've become
After years of breaking down
Oh my…BLAINE?
My whole life has come undone
Cause I'm trying to fake it all
Kurt had his mouth and his eyes wide open. Not fooled at all by the five o'clock shadow, the eyeliner, the piercings glinting in the strobe light, or the straightened hair.
And I know that you love someone
But that someone isn't me
This was Blaine. The guy who bought him hot chocolate, held hands with him on the boardwalk, and the one he KISSED. It was same guy who was now growling lyrics into his microphone and had this hollow, far-away look in his jade-amber eyes.
Or is this me?
After Blaine whispered out the last line into the microphone, he focused his eyes back on his audience, and his world stopped for a moment.
(Hey-ey-ey-ey)
There, standing right next to Puck, and looking utterly appalled, was Kurt.
(Nooooooooo…)
The instrumental continued to play while Kurt and Blaine stared at each other. Blaine looked on in embarrassment and horror, while Kurt felt one of his hands cover his mouth in shock. He didn't know what to make of any of this, or of Blaine.
As Nick and Jeff did ominous whispers into the microphone, Jeff glanced back at Trent to raise an eyebrow in question, to which Trent shrugged in equal confusion. Puck was staring between them too, curious as to what was occurring.
As the instrumental came to an end, Blaine had to snap himself out of it. The song was almost over, and then he needed to talk to Kurt. He knew he messed up, but he just needed to get Kurt to understand. That's all.
And you'll be amazed
At the secrets I keep
Secrets.
You'll be amazed
At my mouth full of lies
Lies.
But I'm too afraid
To come clean
Dammit, I should have known better after what happened last time.
Cause my life's the flame
In a house of cards
I should know not to believe everything someone with a pretty face says.
(You'll be amazed)
Blaine could feel his eyes tear up; the betrayed look in Kurt's watery baby blues was making him feel less than an inch big.
(You'll be amazed)
When the song came to an end, no one moved. Wes and David just staring at Puck, trying to gauge his reaction. Puck, on the other hand, was staring at Kurt, and did not at all like the hurt look on his friend's face. The thing that did set everyone back into motion was one broken word, choked-out into the microphone.
"Kurt."
A/N: Ah! Love this song! It's Madina Lake's 'House of Cards.' Give it a listen and I bet it will give the chapter a better feel to it. Leave me a review while I'm gone? :)