Hiya guys. I understand it's been a long time and I am very sorry for that but if you stick with me I swear I am going to try and finally finish this story. I really am sorry and I can't thank you all enough for being so patient, I had my GCSE's this year and after they were finished I just completely forgot, not an excuse I know but hopefully I can make up for it. Thanks for sundown923, your review made me realise that I have to see this through to the end, so really thank you. Okay, sorry a bit long but thanks again guys and here we go!

Chapter forty-one: Castor's POV

It all happened very fast, in a way that I couldn't quite keep up with as I watched the dancing lights blur past my head, each one burning into my eyes, green light, red light, green light. People were screaming but it didn't register, not until I felt Harry grab me and push me down, as my own father's green light when flying past my head, narrowly missing me. Harry was screaming something at me but I was still numb: I had killed Peter Pettigrew. I was more of a monster than ever.

I saw Dobby grabbing the hands of our friends, apparated them out of this hellhole: he grabbed Luna, Dean Thomas and Ollivander. I caught his eye and he gave me a small smile and nod just as he left, I knew Dobby was telling me that he'd make sure Luna was safe, he'd make sure she was okay. I knew then that as disgusted as I was by what I had done to Wormtail, I had to focus on the now, on helping out my friends if I wanted them to live, even if I felt I myself didn't deserve to live. So, I snapped back into action, pulling out my wand and pushing the sick feeling back down.

My father was glaring at me, he had clearly been drinking but he was still a great fighter, another killing curse flew my way and I realized then hat he was just focused on killing me. His little embarrassment, the shame to the family, the disgusting mudblood sympathizer. Dobby appeared again and grabbed Ron, Hermione and Griphook, just narrowly escaping a curse from Lucious Malfoy who I was sure would relish the chance to kill his disgraced ex-house elf. It was just me and Harry left and I could see the determination in Harry's eyes, he wanted to make them pay for what they had done, make Voldemort and all his horrific Death Eater's pay for the pain that they had caused him and his friends as well as so many others. For all the hell they had caused, all the lives they had taken. I did my best to match his anger, his determination but knowing that my mother, Bellatrix Lestrange, was among those, no... not just among those... but one of the strongest and most feared Death Eaters... that made it difficult to want to make them all pay when it was obvious that in her own twisted madness there was still some part of her that if she could give up her values, be peaceful and do it over again, she would be my loving mother, no matter what.

She would forget about Voldemort and his mad crusade if it meant she could raise a son and have a free, loved life. I could see it in her eyes as I looked at her across the room. But she couldn't and that was the truth, she had chosen her path when she was young, when she was determined just as Harry was, when she didn't realise what being a mother meant. What knowing that you and your son that secretly you love so much were supposed to hate each other, perhaps even be destined to kill each other was like. There were no do-over's though, no second chances, her life was her life and my life was mine, she had done too many bad things and been driven too far to turn herself in without the consequences of a life in Azkaban, where it was doubtful she would see me. That was of course if my side won the war. If her side won I would either be killed, or used for fun torture, or made to join Voldemort's ranks which even if it meant being with my mother I couldn't do: it would be betraying everyone else I loved. So either way we were at dead ends.

I sighed, watching her fire curses at Harry, she was probably thinking along the same lines as me, she had nothing left but to win this war now, she couldn't have a relationship with me, the last person she cared about, more than her cause, which I knew she wasn't as fanatic about now because she cared for me more.

So, we were both just left with the remains of what if, what if we were a normal family, not the Lestranges... the Blacks. Born into a world of hatred and cruel expectations, a world of evil. If she had been born different or rebelled like Sirius. If we had just been a normal family where we didn't have to join a cause, have people's belief's pushed upon us from birth. If she hadn't grown-up prejudice, so strongly believing in these ideals she joined the Death Eater's and was proud of killing mudbloods and traitors. If things had just been different. But they weren't and so we both just had to watch each other with a nagging sense of longing that no matter how hard we tried wouldn't go away because we knew that despite all the complications the truth was that we cared for each other.

Dobby grabbed me and grabbed Harry a second after, Bellatrix's eyes grew wide and snarling she knew an intricate knife in our direction. I was surprised but then it dawned on me, maybe her reason for winning this war was a little more than simply having nothing else to live for anymore. She wasn't stupid enough to believe that I would wilfully join Voldemort but maybe... some part of her just hoped that if they won she could keep me safe, like all mothers should to their children and that then we could build our relationship, what she so desperately craved. She saw winning the war as her only hope of being my mother. I sighed; at least that reason was a little better than the reason of just being ignorant and hating muggleborns. The knife hadn't been aimed for me, it had been aimed for Harry.

I stumbled, finding myself on a sandy beach; my bloodstained t-shirt clung to me and my sweat. I felt Hermione lift me up but then I felt her grasp me tighter as she gasped and began to shake.

"W-What is it?" I whispered it, my voice horse, still in pain from my mother's torture.

"Dobby... he's... he's been stabbed," she muttered still in shock as everyone crowded around Dobby, it was clear... there was nothing we could do. He was close to death. My heart was wrenching me apart, my mother had thrown that knife.

"Friends... D-Dobby was happy to help his friends," he whispered clutching Harry's hands as we all watched the life ebb away from him, each one of us beginning to cry. Even Griphook looked saddened. He had only ever tried to help us, he had given his life for us and I felt honoured that he considered me his friend. We weren't his masters, his keepers, we were his loyal friends. His friends who were now being torn apart by his small lifeless body. Luna reached in and closed his eyes before saying a few words but I heard nothing, the blood that was pouring from Dobby reminded me of Wormtail, the way the blood had flowed from him at my hands. I had killed someone, I deserved to have that knife imbedded in me, not Dobby.

We buried Dobby then, near Shell Cottage. After we had all collected ourselves the best we could, still trying to recover from the emotional blow we had just been dealt.

"Due to Bellatrix's worry over the sword, in thinking that we'd got it from her vault and her worrying about what else we'd taken, there's a chance there could be a Horcrux in there. So, Ron and Hermione and me are going to go and break-in. The rest of you I suggest stay here at Shell Cottage and do whatever you need to," Harry said, I could see the sadness in his eyes thinking of Dobby but there was no time that could be wasted.

"I'm coming with you," I said sternly, I didn't want to just waste my time here, I'd been trying to find Harry for ages and now I had he wasn't going to just escape me. I wanted to be helpful. Try and right my many wrongs.

Harry shook his head but I persisted, "I am. Look... I know... I've made mistakes," Hermione looked at her feet, thinking of Peter's twitching body. "But I want to help, we have to win and I'm not just going to sit around. I'm coming with you."

"Castor you could be as much help here as you could with-," Harry began but I sighed and cut him off.

"No. I couldn't be. Trust me, I am much more help with you."

Harry I think realized by the look in my eyes that he wouldn't beat me on this and relented. Luna grabbed my face and kissed me sweetly, "Be safe and as always I love you."

I did my best not to smile but I couldn't help it, I'd missed her so much. "I love you too. And yeah you better be safe as well, I'm not losing you. Are you going to be okay?" I said, slightly wavering at the end, eyeing some visible cuts on her body caused by my mother's torture.

She smiled a little more and nodded, "Yes, stop worrying about me," I could see she was looking at my chest, where the cuts spelling out 'disowned' lay sniggering at me. "After this is all over. I hope you know I'm not going to let you leave my arms for a very long time." She said, squeezing my hand.

Harry looked at us both and bit his lip, "No, this is wrong... we all need a break, Castor you've been badly hurt, you need to rest. We'll stay here for a while, until we all recover a bit, then we'll go to Gingotts alright?"

It was music to my ears, I couldn't help myself I hugged Harry very tightly after he said that and he hugged me back. It felt nice to know that no one hated me after what I'd done Peter Pettigrew even if I couldn't quiet forgive myself.

Everyone started to head inside, a while had passed since we'd arrived, I mean we'd buried Dobby and said our goodbyes so it wasn't surprising really.

Ron stopped me before I went inside, "Castor? I just want to thank you. For what you did back at the Malfoys... Bellatrix would have tortured Hermione for information if you hadn't done what you did. I don't think... I don't think I would have been able to take that. I understand why you reacted how you did when Luna was being hurt. When you love someone there is no greater pain then knowing that they are suffering and you can't do anything to stop it." After that he patted me on the back and headed inside himself. I was left, with the winds whipping through my blood scattered hair. I stared at Dobby's grave and closed my eyes, saying how grateful I was once again for him and what he had done. Then, I smiled, thinking of what Ron had just said. The idea of him and Hermione together made me smile even more, the world needed love.

Then I myself went inside for where Luna was waiting for me, Harry was right we needed that rest but mostly, I just needed Luna.