Author's Note: LONG CHAPTER GUYS. You are welcome! There's fluff, smut, and then angst. A lovely layered chapter. ;)

Kurt's background is finally revealed, but READ THE WARNINGS BEFORE CONTINUING.

And as always, happy reading!

*Warning* for explicit sex, curse words, and *TRIGGERS* for references to alcohol-abuse, hospitalization, therapy, domestic violence and hints of self-loathing/self-blame.

Again, no beta. All mistakes are my own.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing, nothing. No profit made etc. See Chapter 1 for more elaborate disclaimer.

~C.J.

(Chapter 20)

"Totally didn't expect that freak wave of frozen ice to blow in, crazy! I'll just hang your clothes up to dry for a while!"

"What was that?!"

"I said—!" Blaine halted in his steps, watching the muscles of Kurt's naked back pull and stretch as he slipped on one of his 'Pav's Last Song' band T-shirts. It was a picture of a yellow canary warbler being shot with an arrow and a crossed-out white music note floating above its birdie head. Wes designed it, and David made sure to never let him design another shirt again. He smirked when Kurt pulled down the shirt enough for his band's name to be exposed on the back of the black T-shirt. It was ridiculous how much random band merch he had around his apartment. "I said I put your clothes up to hang dry. They're hanging in my shower. There's not exactly a washer and dryer in this matchbox."

Which reminds me, I really need to make a run down to the apartment building's laundry room soon.

Kurt sat on the bed and smiled back at him, leaning down to roll up the pant legs of the too short sweatpants he borrowed, boring grey non-band merch ones thankfully. "Oh, thank you." Once he was done, he grabbed the small towel Blaine leant him, scrubbing his hair dry. "You didn't go to too much trouble, I hope."

"Oh yeah, hanging up that really heavy sweater was such a burden on me. Nearly strained my back." He chuckled, snatching the towel from Kurt when he was finished.

He mock glared at the shorter male, "Well, I was just hoping you didn't need to dig up a step-stool anywhere so you could reach the top of your shower curtains."

"Meanie." Blaine blew a raspberry at Kurt, even as his toweled off chestnut hair stuck cutely at every angle. He rubbed the towel through his hair too, getting rid of the water and whatever was left of the product out of his hair. "And if you were SO worried about burdening me, why didn't you just go back to Finn and Rachel's apartment?"

Kurt blushed, distractedly grabbing a hairbrush from Blaine's dresser and combing his hair into a less chaotic manner. "Maybe I didn't want our date to end on account of a little sleet. The night is still young after all."

Blaine beamed from under his towel, tossing it over his shoulder when he was done with it. There was no point in trying to fix his hair when it was gel-free. It was going to be bouncy and curly whether he wanted it to or not. "Awesome, me either."

The taller male put the brush back on the dresser and walked back towards the full-length window, placing a hand on the punching bag that was in front of it. "This is where I first saw you, ya know? Punching the hell out of this bag, your muscle shirt sticking to you, muscles flexing, it was probably the same night you saw me. And I have to admit, I thought you were kind of hot."

The hazel-eyed male stared down the length of his body, realizing he was wearing a similar undershirt and wind pants as the night in question. "Really? Only kind of?" He teased, shrugging his shoulders in inquiry.

Maybe a little more than kind of.

Kurt only gave him a mischievous look, putting up his fists in a cute and playful manner, thoroughly ignoring the question. He turned towards the bag, and did a couple of quick soft jabs, not even hard enough to make a satisfying 'thwack' against the leather bound sandbag. "What do you think? Am I doing it right?" He asked coyly.

Blaine rolled his eyes. Completely aware of the game Kurt was playing, but you know, who was he to not play along? "Uh, no." He walked over to where Kurt was standing, coming up behind him and pressing his chest against his back. Hooking his chin over Kurt's shoulder, he said, "Thumbs should be tucked into your fists." Blaine missed Kurt's sly expression. "They should be right here, protecting your chin, and your legs…" He dragged his fingers down the undersides of Kurt's arms, caressing the expanse of his covered torso, and settled his hands on the inner areas of his toned thighs. "Should be spread a bit more, shoulder width apart to be specific." The musician whispered against a porcelain cheek, squeezing the paler man's thighs to coax them apart.

Kurt inhaled sharply, letting Blaine shift his legs open while he tried to pull off an unaffected façade. He licked his lips, "So I just…like this?"

The shorter man touched Kurt's hip lightly, giving it a squeeze before stepping back and examining his stance. "Not bad actually, wanna try really hitting it a few times?"

He slapped a hand against one of his cheeks, "But Blaine, what if I hit it too hard? I wouldn't want to damage your equipment." Kurt pouted a little bit, fluttering his eyelashes at him, feigning innocence.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about. This thing can really take a beating." He walked around the bag, placing his hands on it to hold it steady. "Come on, go ahead and rip into it. I promise it's fun."

"Well, if you're sure…"

"Go for it. Give me your best shot."

The next thing that happened, took Blaine by surprise. Kurt's entire body stood firm, and his eyes focused on the worn bag as he crackled his knuckles. One second he had his fists protecting his face, and the next he was jabbing into the bag with enough force to almost knock Blaine off balance. However, before he could steady himself, Kurt delivered a blow that even knocked the wind out of him. He let out an 'oomph' as his back hit the wall behind him, body sliding down until his butt hit the floor. The musician looked up dazedly, blinking at the man looming over him. "You just…you just uppercut the bag."

Kurt giggled, "guilty."

"…I didn't show you that."

He snorted, "I took a couple self-defense classes back home." Blaine stared. "What? After the hustle and bustle of New York I needed an activity to keep me from going stir crazy."

Blaine was still staring, "That zigging thing you do when I think you're about to zag, does that ever go away?"

"No, not in my experience." Kurt smiled down at him, basically lighting up the room if you'd asked Blaine. He reached a hand out to him, "Come on, I'll help you up." Blaine took the offered hand, barely holding in his squeak as he was yanked to his feet. "There, not too damaged are ya?"

"Got the wind knocked out of me a little bit, not gonna lie, but I think I'll live." He raised an eyebrow, something devilish crossing his features. "But if it was my equipment you were referring to, that's just fine too. Thanks for asking."

Kurt hummed, "Oh, really?" Grabbing Blaine by the undershirt, he pulled him back towards the bed. "Sure you don't want me to have a look? Just in case?" The backs of his knees hit the end of the bed, Kurt waiting for Blaine to decide their next move.

Ball is in your court, Anderson.

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows, "Did I hit my head too, or was that you propositioning me just now?"

"Let me make myself perfectly clear." The taller boy wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck, leaning in to whisper into his ear. "I'm gonna make you cum tonight, go it?"

The musician groaned, "Crystal." He turned his head and found Kurt's lips, kissing and melding them together. Blaine placed his hands on Kurt's hips, bringing their bodies closer together as their kisses intensified so he could rub their crotches against each other. Kurt ran his fingers into Blaine's hair, gripping securely when he licked into the other's mouth, tasting beer and sweet mocha. The short man bucked his hips against Kurt's, letting him control their kiss while he ground against him, tightening his hold when they both started growing hard. He pulled his mouth apart, spit slicking their reddening lips. "Please say we can be naked this time."

Kurt laughed softly, spinning them around and pushing Blaine on the bed. Once hazel eyes were back on him, Kurt reached for the hem on his borrowed shirt, lifting it up until it was over his head. Truthfully, Blaine's mouth might have dropped open at the sight a bit. His body was toned, tight, practically carved from flawless alabaster with pink pebbling nipples that Blaine was definitely going to put his mouth on and a light downy happy trial that led to another place Blaine really, REALLY wanted to put his mouth on. Then the pale beauty went and dropped his pants and underwear in one go, revealing him in all his erect glory. Kurt's fingers skated across his naked hip, running through his coarse but recently groomed pubic area, to grip his hardening cock so he could stroke it slowly and meaningfully. "You should take your clothes off now." Then he closed his eyes and tilted his head back, stroking harder and breathing heavier as he put a show on for his new lover.

This man is trying to kill me.

Dear God, thank you.

When Blaine's mind finally kicked back into gear, he ripped off his muscle shirt and wriggled out of his noisy wind pants. He kicked them off the rest of the way and chucked them off to the side, along with his underwear. Blaine raked his eyes over Kurt's self-pleasuring form, sitting at the edge of the bed and whimpering when the sexy blue-eyed male continued to pump his dick selfishly. Come on, he should at least let Blaine do that. "Kurt, Kurt, please. C-Can I touch you now?"

He moaned one last time, opening his eyes and looking down at Blaine with a dark blue lust blown gaze. "No," Kurt said in a lower tone. Letting go of his hard on, he stepped forward between Blaine's legs, and sank fluidly to his knees. "But I'm going to touch you." Then he placed his hands on toned olive thighs, rubbing and massaging them up and down, reveling in the feeling of Blaine's leg hair against his soft hands.

He's hairier than what I would've imagined.

I kind of like it.

Kurt gripped the base of the musician's cock, guiding his mouth to where pre-come was already pearling out. He sat back on his haunches and tilted his head up as the first few inches of the hot girth slid further into his mouth, his eyelids fluttering closed at the sensation of Blaine's dick resting heavy on his tongue. Blaine moaned above him, hips hitching in surprise when the paler male started sucking. Kurt slid his hands up and gripped the other's hips, thumbs pressing into the dips towards his groin. He held Blaine's hips still, beginning to bob his head while he sucked and hallowed his cheeks. "Shit, that feels good. That feels so damn good."

His tongue licked the underside of Blaine's cock, caressing the vein underneath before bobbing back and forth again. Spit was beginning to slick Kurt's reddened plump lips, dripping down his chin that made the blowjob sloppier. Blaine fisted the bedspread, trying to keep himself from touching Kurt because he wasn't allowed to while his hips made little aborted thrusts into the warm slick mouth around him. Finally, he whined pathetically, wordlessly pleading with Kurt.

How can he look like that and NOT expect me to want to touch him.

Blaine whimpered when the nice tight mouth popped off his erection, the pink tongue poking out and licking his shining lips made something hot burn in his lower stomach. He's just lucky he didn't cum at the sight of it. Kurt un-fisted one of Blaine's hands, and brought it to rest against his soft hair. "You can touch me, Blaine. I want you to touch me now."

Then Kurt sunk back down on his dick, sucking on it eagerly and spearing Blaine's slit just to lap up the pure taste of him. Blaine carded his fingers through Kurt's hair, languidly pumping his hips in and out of Kurt's mouth. Holding himself back from just going to town, he had no intention of using and abusing his wondrous, wondrous mouth. He looked down at where his cock was enveloped, perfect lips moving up and down his length, getting it wet and slick. Kurt's cheeks were flushed, and his eyes were closed again. Can't have that. "Look at me." When Kurt just kept sucking and slurping, Blaine tightened his fingers in his hair and stopped his movements, half his dick just forced to lie still in Kurt's mouth. "Open your eyes. I want you to look at me while I have your lips around my cock." Kurt moaned in agreement, his response vibrating up Blaine's erection. He opened his eyes, hooded blue orbs locked with lust blown hazel. When he bobbed his head again, hallowing his cheeks as he went, Blaine just watched. The perfect example of debauchery was on his knees for him, in his apartment, it made his dick even harder at the realization. Blaine rubbed Kurt's head lovingly; thoroughly enjoying the pleasurable sensation, "Fuck me…"

Suddenly, the wet cavern was gone, Blaine making a noise between frustration and a pout. "What…what did you just say?" Kurt panted out, voice husky and lower than normal.

It took a minute for some blood to rush back to Blaine's upstairs brain, but once it did, he became aware of how true his statement was. "I said, fuck me." He rubbed his thumb against Kurt's temple. "I want you to fuck me."

Kurt looked almost panicked for a second, the erection resting heavy against his thigh giving a responding twitch at the consideration. "A-Are you sure?"

Blaine nodded, "Only if you want."

Kurt looked lost for a bit more, like the fact that anyone would ask him to top was something he never even considered. "Yes. Yes, ok. I want to, but I haven't…not in a while." He confessed quietly.

It's been a while since I was asked to top.

Been a while since anyone considered what I might want, actually.

"That's all right. If you need the practice, we can do it more than once." He smirked, more than willing to follow through on his statement. "In any and all positions."

Kurt shook his head, biting his lower lip to keep from smiling. "Just shut up and tell me where the lube is."

"Bathroom cabinet if I'm not mistaken."

"Gotcha." He leant up and pressed a kiss to Blaine's lips. "I'm gonna need you to scoot up on the bed a bit and lie back, okay?"

"Whatever you say, baby." Blaine nipped at the other's lip, not even trying to hide the fact that he was watching Kurt's naked swaying ass as he ventured into the connected bathroom. Once he couldn't see him anymore, Blaine did as he was told, pressing up the bed a bit more and laying back on it.

Kurt didn't waste any time, back at the foot of the bed in his kneeled position, bottle of lube and a condom in his left hand. He put them on the bed and then reached for Blaine's legs, maneuvering them up and folding his legs until his feet were planted against the bed. "Stay."

Before Blaine could even think to respond, Kurt's mouth was down and enveloping him again. His back arched, toes curling against the comforter. A long strung out, "ooooh," falling from his lips. He could feel Kurt taking in more of his cock this time, able to feel when he bumped the back of his throat, it was distracting him enough that he didn't even hear the snick of the lube bottle being opened. All he was aware of was Kurt bobbing his head up and down to take him in, hallowing his cheeks and sucking on his dick greedily. When a slick finger prodded his hole, he just moaned and spread his legs more, wiggling his hips when the finger circled his hole. Blaine hummed when the slender finger slipped inside, the sting of the stretch not registering to him because of how close he was getting to his release. "God, don't go slow. Don't even think about it. Just open me up already." He keened, letting one hand rest on the back of Kurt's neck while he began thrusting desperately.

So close, so fucking close.

The paler male let him fuck into his mouth, relaxing his throat and jaw like he remembered. Kurt focused on getting Blaine ready, wriggling his finger this way and that way in order to prepare him for more. His eyes began to water whenever Blaine managed to fuck into his throat, probably from the lack of recent practice, but he ignored it. Doubling his efforts with one last hard suck, swiping his tongue against the head. Blaine's fingernails dug into his neck, silently screaming as he orgasmed. Kurt worked his throat through the hot gush, swallowing with a half approving half triumphant hum. The curly-haired man relaxed his fingers, arm dropping to the bed and his entire form noodling as he enjoyed his orgasmic high.

Kurt used Blaine's new loose-limbed state to slip in another lubed finger, moving and pumping them in and out while he lightly suckled him through the last few twitches of his post-orgasmic state. Blaine whimpered at the continuous stimulation, "Kuuuurt." He pulled off Blaine's softening cock, licking the corner of his lip where a few drops had slipped out. Kurt watched how his dark honey eyes remained unfocused and dazed, never faltering in his ministrations to stretch and scissor his fingers apart inside Blaine. When Kurt twisted and thrust his fingers one particular way, Blaine gasped, sparks of pleasure making his spent dick try to harden too soon in interest. "Fuck…"

Not quite yet.

"Almost, honey." He pulled out his fingers and added some more lube, slipping three inside this time, the audible wet sound amplifying both their arousals to burn hotter in anticipation. Kurt made sure to avoid Blaine's prostate, giving his body time to recover before the real fun began. "Just hang on a little more, you're almost ready for me." Three fingers spread apart, stretching and loosening Blaine up as much as he could. The musician just groaned, the familiar sting not feeling so bad since his body was already unwound and still enjoying the last remnants of his bliss. Kurt sped up his pumping fingers, trying to leave as little resistance as possible to minimize the possibility of hurting his lover.

Blaine made a little half noise, lax body jerking every time Kurt accidently grazed past his prostate. "Kurt, please. M'good. Want something other than your fingers."

"Yeah?" Kurt pulled his fingers halfway out, spreading them apart closer to his rim. The dark haired man gurgled something unintelligible, just grinding down on the appendages. "So hot," he mused. "Can't wait anymore either." When Kurt pulled his fingers out all the way, Blaine whined, his clenching body feeling empty and unsatisfied. "Now turn over, get on all fours, want you to scoot up and place your hands against the headboard. Do that for me, okay? Can you?"

Right now you can probably get me to do just about anything.

Wordlessly, Blaine complied. He turned over and crawled towards the head of his bed, getting close enough to splay his hands on the wooden headboard. The bed dipped behind him, the movement alerting him that Kurt was settling behind him. His body shuddered at the first touch of fingertips flitting down one of his flanks, Kurt just looking and touching. Blaine was already hardening again, lower stomach tightening when his inner thighs were gently touched. "Are you just teasing me because you want me to beg? Because at this point I will, I fucking will!"

It's like Blaine can practically feel Kurt smiling behind him. "No, not this time." Kurt caressed the musician's perineum, making him chock on his next breath. "But now you're the one who needs to spread their legs a bit more." He urged Blaine's legs further apart, and then pressed lightly down between his tanned shoulder blades, his head left to hang down between them. With his ass displayed like that, Kurt was barely able to use the last of his patience to rip open the foil package and roll it on to his too long neglected erection. Kurt grabbed the lube and squirted out a bit more, liberally spreading it over himself. "What the—Blaine, are your condoms RIBBED?" He ended on an amused laugh.

"YES, they're ribbed condoms, and NO, this isn't the proper time to be questioning me about them!" He said through gritted teeth, literally seconds away from just pushing Kurt on his back and riding the fuck out of his cock. The next thing Blaine was aware of was the slick blunt head of Kurt's dick pushing against his entrance. His nails scraped against the headboard, eyes rolling into the back of his head when he felt his hole opening up for Kurt, the initial burning stretch a fondly anticipated sensation. The paler man moaned at the first feel of Blaine's hot vice, gingerly rocking into him bit by bit. Blaine grunted every time more hot hardness sunk into him, bowing his back and tilting his hips more for Kurt, wanting everything the man above him had to offer him. "Yes…"

Blaine rocked back hurriedly, welcoming that utterly right feeling of fullness. When Kurt's hips finally pressed against Blaine's ass, bottoming out, the blue-eyed male draped his lithe body across the other's back. He squeezed the curly haired boy's hips reassuringly, and pressed his lips against Blaine's neck. "You feel so wonderful for me, Blainey." Kurt mouthed at his taunt neck, moving his hands up and placing them over Blaine's olive skinned ones. "How about me? How does this feel?" He entwined his pale fingers with tanned ones, grinding his hips into the hot slick hole.

This…THIS is perfect.

"Fantastic, fucking fantastic. J-Just please, move. Anything, just n-need more." He whimpered, but then groaned low and dirty when Kurt finally decided to pull back, porcelain hands leveraging themselves against Blaine's. His pace was quick short jabs forward with slow pulls backwards, wanting Blaine to feel the ridges of the condom against his hot inner walls. And if the moans were anything to go by, Blaine felt every single one of them. When Blaine starts pushing back into his thrusts, Kurt fucks in a little harder, panting against the side of his lover's neck. The musician grips the fingers overlapping his, turning to the side and kissing Kurt's mouth, delving inside in hopes that he can still taste himself on his tongue. He can. Blaine arches up a bit, trying to push further into the dirty kiss, mewling in surprise when the slight change angles his body enough for Kurt to strike his prostate. He bucks against the pleasurable sparks shooting up his spine, "Right there. Fuck me right there."

Kurt nodded, making sure to thrust against the spot that was making Blaine fuck back into him so eagerly, the bed beginning to visibly move with their efforts. They aren't even kissing anymore, only grunting and panting against each other's lips, sharing their breaths between them. Kurt kept his pace, licking Blaine's lips as their sweaty bodies moved against one another and he pumped his hips sharply. The sound of their skin smacking wetly would have been loud if not for Blaine's little happy sounds enrapturing all of Kurt's attention. When he felt himself on the verge of climaxing, Kurt disentangled one hand from their joined ones, sliding it down and gripping Blaine's leaking cock. "Want you to cum with me."

Blaine threw his back, resting it against Kurt's shoulder while his hand stroked him towards a second orgasm. He used his free hand to grip the back of Kurt's head, turning him so they could meld their lips together in a sloppy kiss for when they came. Kurt's thrusts lost their rhythm, the blue-eyed boy now just chasing his impending release, fucking Blaine harder into the fist that was going to send him over the edge. When Kurt's wrist twisted on the upstroke is when Blaine cried out his release, coming over the other's fists.

He could feel it when his hazel eyed lover orgasmed, fucking into Blaine for the last few times before he buried himself as far as he could go, finally coming and emptying into the condom. Sweat was matting his chestnut hair to his forehead, but Kurt didn't even care. Kurt just slid gingerly out of Blaine's fucked open ass, kissing his cheek and down his spine when he keened at the stimulation of the ribbed rubber along his insides. They were both exhausted, and could collapse any second after the jelly-limb inducing sex they just had. However, Kurt wasn't about to let them end up in a mess of their own couplings. He wrapped an arm around Blaine's torso, guiding the musician back to lie on the opposite end of the bed. "Come on, even after that I don't think you want to rest in a puddle of your own cum."

Don't care. Had sex.

Kurt lies next to him, after he's tied off the condom and tossed it, of course. He curls against Blaine's side, nuzzling up until his head is pillowed on the glistening olive chest next to him. Blaine even curls an arm around him, letting them both catch their breath and just letting what happened SINK IN. In the end, it was Blaine who spoke first. "Man, who ever made you think you aren't FUCKING OUTSTANDING at topping is full of crap. I seriously need post-sex food now."

"Post-sex food." He deadpanned. "What is that exactly?"

Blaine sighs, "Only what is essentially needed after a good fuck." When Kurt just raises an eyebrow up at him, he explains. "Sugar, junk food, anything that we'd regret had it not been for the amazing sex calories we just burned. Oh, and Gatorade, to replenish our bodies' depleted water source."

"I'd rather just go for a round two."

"There's still more Tiramisu Cheesecake in the fridge." He enticed.

"…"

"Huh? Huh?"

"I guess we could always shoot for Good Morning sex."

"And post-sex food now?" Blaine asked hopefully.

Kurt made a noncommittal noise. "I could go for some post-sex cheesecake."

"Yay! Let the food corruption begin!"

There wasn't enough room in Kurt's head for the eye roll he wanted to throw Blaine's way.

I swear I liked him like two minutes ago.

Blaine rolled over on the bed, planting an arm out to wrap around his companion. His brows furrowed together when all he felt was cool sheets, their makeshift pile of blankets and pillows on the floor only encasing one occupant. He peaked an eye open curiously, stretching and yawning tiredly when it was obvious Kurt wasn't in bed with him. Blaine sat up and rubbed at his eyes, blinking blearily around the room. The container of their devoured cheesecake, along with empty bottles of water and Gatorade were the only things he could find strewn around his bedroom. "Kurt?"

When no one answered, the naked man stood up, wrapping a sheet around his naked waist. "Hello?" Blaine pattered into the hallway and then his living room, hollering enough so that if Kurt were in the kitchen getting more food or something to drink he'd hear. "Yo, blue-eyed beauty, where you at?!" Again, Blaine was answered with silence. Curious, he shuffled back to his bedroom and sifted through their strewn about clothes for a pair of pants, shouting a triumphant 'aha!' when he found some. Once some pants were on, a cold breeze blew across his chest, making the half naked man shiver in confusion.

Huh, the window's open, so that's where Kurt ventured off to.

He searched through the mess around his room for his hoodie, wrinkling his nose as he went—because okay, maybe some of his clothes were more dirty than clean—might be time to take some down to the laundry room. Blaine pouted when he realized his hoodie was nowhere to be found, and that searching for another one was a taller order than he was prepared to take on. Instead, he grabbed one of his fleece blankets, wrapping it around his shoulders and stuffing his bare feet into his Nike tennis shoes. What? The memory foam ones felt squishy and nice. Whatever. Then right as Blaine was about to climb out onto the fire escape, he darted across the room and grabbed a few things. And if it just so happened to be another condom and the lube from before stuffed into his pant's pocket, so be it.

A little rooftop sex never hurt anybody.

The musician ascended the stairs and swung his legs over the edge of the rooftop, Blaine pleasantly surprised that Kurt had the heater going. He must have been up there longer than Blaine realized. What he saw made the hazel-eyed male smile fondly. The sky above the city was bathed in a light pinkish orange color, signaling that the morning was just beginning, and in Blaine's lounge chair sat Kurt. The boy was wearing his Marc Jacobs shoes from before, the borrowed sweatpants, and was comfortably huddled in Blaine's too big red hoodie. He sauntered over to Kurt, smile fading when he noticed tears in his eyes. "Kurt?"

The paler man jumped is surprise, as if he didn't even notice Blaine enter the rooftop. He cleared his throat, "Uh…Blaine, I didn't—did I wake you or something?"

Blaine just tilted his head, watching as Kurt hurriedly swiped his palms over his cheekbones, trying to hide the wetness. "I woke up, and you weren't there."

"Oh, sorry. I was just—"

"Are you all right?" He made room for himself by prodding Kurt to scoot forward, sitting himself behind the other male so he was between his legs. Blaine opened his blanket and wrapped Kurt up in it, pulling him so his clothed back was against his tanned naked chest.

Kurt wormed his body down the chair a bit, allowing himself to lean back more and nuzzle into the juncture where Blaine's neck and shoulder met. He sighed when the boxer's arms wrapped around him comfortingly, feeling cared for and SAFE for the first time since he's returned to New York. "Yeah, the mornings are my favorite time, you know? It's a new day, a clean slate, actually a bit peaceful because dickheads don't wake up until at least ten, and wonderful things are still a possibility in the morning…"

"And that's why you were crying? Because of the morning?"

It was quiet for a moment, Kurt breathing and taking in shuddering breaths as he mulled over Blaine's questions. "No, its because I've decided to trust you, to try out this 'letting you in' thing you're so keen on. And that scares the ever living fuck out of me." His turned on his side and curled against Blaine's torso, not wanting to face him completely. "It's not fair the way I've just ASSUMED you'd inevitably turn out to be a bad guy. You shouldn't be punished for someone else's actions."

"Someone?"

His lower lip started to tremble, "I want to say I was a different person back then, that he took advantage of someone who isn't me, but I'm not sure if that's entirely true."

But that doesn't matter to me.

"Kurt, I'll understand. I won't judge you."

He made a frustrated noise, "But you're not the problem."

"Then what is?"

"Me, okay?! I'm the problem…I-I'm ashamed." Kurt confessed, scrambling to his knees and kneeling in front of Blaine. "I'm ashamed, all right? I hate myself for ever letting it happen."

Blaine took a minute to gaze up at Kurt, sliding a hand up to cup one of the pale fists on his chests. "Kurt." He said, waiting until glasz eyes made contact with his. "I can't force you to trust me. I can't force you to tell me, but if you want to, if you ever choose to, I'll be here to listen." He leaned up and kissed Kurt's forehead, trying not to let the flinch the other's entire body gave at the action hurt him too much. The tanned man then guided Kurt back into his previous curled against position, cuddling him and rubbing his back soothingly while he tried to calm down in Blaine's arms.

Kurt settled once he understood Blaine wasn't going to push, reaching out to intertwine his fingers with olive toned ones and pillowing his head on his chest. He sniffled softly, trying to gather his bearings while both his hands played with Blaine's offered one. "I don't know if I'm ready to tell you everything, or if I'll ever be…"

"Then, why don't you start with what you can?"

Maybe…

He nodded, hugging Blaine's hand to his chest. "We met at NYADA, he was the same year as me I think, not really sure. I performed at the Winter Showcase."

"Adam said you play piano?"

"PLAYED piano," Kurt clenched his jaw. "Not anymore, but back then I was pretty good. I played 'One Moment in Time,' sang it too."

"What I wouldn't give to hear that, bet you won the whole damn thing."

He snorted, "Close. Rachel won, not even Whitney Houston could beat her Barbra Streisand." Kurt rolled his eyes. "Guess some things never change, huh?"

Blaine hummed, resting his free hand on Kurt's slightly exposed hip. "I would have cheered for you."

"Oh, don't get me wrong. My uproar of applause rivaled hers. It was 'out of this world,' as he called it."

"Huh?"

Kurt sighed, "The guy, that's what he told me after the show. He said the same thing about my smile." He blushed, "I thought he was cute and charming, but they always are, aren't they? Until they're not anymore." Blaine didn't say anything, just rubbed his fingertips across the pale hip. "After that night, it started out with the most unlikely of coincidences. I started running into him at the place where I worked, my favorite street side vendor, the after school choir I joined, and somehow he even ended up in more or less all my classes that next semester. Almost every chance the girls and I went out, he'd be at that specific club too. I thought it was sweet, and I was flattered that a guy would go through so much trouble just for the chance to spend time with me. I'd never had that, not before. No one ever saw me like that, so when he did, when I got his attention…I liked it. It never occurred to me that it might be strange, creepy. I-I-I didn't know any better."

I was so stupid.

Blaine shushed him a bit, trying to calm him down before he got too hysterical. He kissed Kurt's temple, "I don't think anyone ever does."

He retreated a hand into his sleeve, wiping away the tears that had tracked down his cheeks without his permission. "He was rich too, a trust fund baby. Even when I started dating him, started to like him, Rachel and the girls never did. I thought maybe they were jealous, envious that I, Kurt Hummel, had this really caring boyfriend who complimented me, spoiled me. I'd finally become the one in a stable relationship, part of the power couple. It was good for a while, him and me, really good…" Kurt trailed off, not knowing how to feel about the happy memories he had of him. "Then, Finn and Puck moved to New York. He didn't like them very much. They didn't like him either, but it's my life, right? I told them it was none of their business."

"Course."

"We started arguing a lot after that, when the guys decided they wanted the bar. I helped them, verbally advertised the grand opening. The guys started off small and got big name NYADA students to perform there, ya know, to get some sort of audience, some regulars." Kurt explained. "But when I got asked to perform, and not him, he got—he got really upset. When he asked Puck why he wasn't one of the performers for opening night, he was a little too honest. Said that since he's been to New York, he's heard what his reputation consists of from other NYADA chicks he's slept with. How his father bought him entrance into NYADA when he was wait-listed, how Carmen Tibideaux only tolerates his common fodder 'talent,' and that the reason he liked me so much was because I had the talent he wished he had."

"Ouch." Blaine winced.

"Yeah, but one look around the loft me and Rachel shared, and it was clear no one thought different. Puck was the only one with balls enough to say it. I think it was the first time he didn't get what he wanted." He mused, finally uncurling and sitting his back against Blaine's chest, legs stretched out more comfortably. "I tried to smooth it over as much as I could. Chewed the hell out of Puck's ass for being such a jerk about it, but nothing worked. Then, the night of the opening, we got into one of the WORST fights we ever had." Kurt's body started shaking against him. "I don't know what happened. The boyfriend I'd come to care for, the person that I loved, it didn't seem like him at all. H-He corned me in his apartment, yelled at me, threw things, p-put his hand around my throat." The paler male whimpered. "He was so angry, upset that I let MY friends disrespect him in public, asked if that's what we talked about behind his back. No matter what I said, it wasn't good enough. He just kept accusing and accusing. I didn't know what he was capable of."

Blaine stiffened, "What did he do?"

"Nothing, no more than scare the ever loving wits out of me. He must have noticed how scared I was, because the minute he backed up a little, I bolted for the door. Hid in my brother and Puck's apartment—didn't know if he'd try to find me at Rachel and mine's or something—I was a wreck for days." He whispered. "I didn't tell them what happened, think I was still prideful and hell-bent on proving them wrong."

Ridiculous.

"Next time I saw him, it was when I'd finally gotten enough bearing to get to school and attend my classes. I was alone, the orchestra had finished rehearsing and I snuck in to get some last minute piano practice." Kurt was sniffling again, this time letting his glasz eyes glisten and become blurry. "It was civil at first. All he did was find me to apologize. I'd given it a lot of thought, and I told him that I needed a break, that we needed a break. As you can guess, he didn't take that very well." He held up his right hand, pulling back the sleeve to expose his fingers to Blaine. "He slammed the lid down on my hands. HARD."

The guitar player gasped, almost couldn't believe what he was hearing. "But…your hands. The piano—it's why you were at NYADA!"

"Don't you think I know that?!" Kurt cried, looking back to direct Blaine's gaze to his porcelain hands. "My thumb and index finger were broken on my left hand. These three fingers were broken on my right. Doctors said I damaged some nerve endings, can't feel anything in my right pinky or my left index finger. On my right hand my middle and ring finger can't touch when I straighten them out anymore, have to force them together when my other hand like this." He demonstrated, huffing in frustration.

"God, Kurt." The dark haired boy could never have predicted something as spiteful as that to have been done to him.

It's like clipping a bird's wings.

"What about the police?"

Kurt scoffed, "I was going to, but then he showed up in the hospital. He looked—he looked so distraught, hated himself for what he did. Apologized profusely and showered me with gifts one after another after another. He said he'd do anything to make it up to me if I just said it was an accident. If he were arrested, his father would take everything away from him. Everything that he tried to build up for himself would disappear, he'd never perform anywhere, and his life would be ruined." The glasz eyed man brought his knees to his chest, resting his elbows on them as he covered his eyes. "He said he'd take care of me, and all I'd have to do is tell the University that the lid fell on it's own. Threaten to sue and claim that the weight of it wasn't regulation or some bullshit like that. They freaking bought it though."

"So you made a mistake."

"A mistake?" He laughed disbelievingly. "I let a man mangle my hands, and for what? Because he told me to, because I was scared of what he might do if I didn't roll over?" Kurt spat. "When Rachel was finding out that she got the lead in Funny Girl, I was finding out that I would never play piano like I did before. I'd be lucky enough to even feel the keys. My friends were getting cast in commercials, getting their faces plastered on billboards for advertisements, and I was in physical therapy! NYADA was only keeping me enrolled to save face. I was no better than the man that crippled me."

Blaine pursed his lips, then leant forward and wrapped his arms around Kurt's middle, hooking his chin over the other's shoulder. "But after that, you were done. You got out."

He wrenched his hands away from his face, shaking his head at Blaine's naivety. "If only. He stayed with me, through the entire physical therapy he was there. The selfless, heart of gold guy, sticking by his sad, unfortunate boyfriend's side. Then Broadway was moving Rachel to an apartment in the better part of town. I couldn't afford to stay in our Bushwick apartment by myself and I still needed someone to help me with the simplest of tasks."

The musician knew where this was going, "Kurt, you didn't."

"Yeah, I did. I moved in with him. How stupid am I, huh?"

"I didn't say that."

"But you were thinking it, everyone probably thought it." Kurt sighed. "Wanna hear something stupider? It was good for a while then too. It's like as long as he was my only source of anything, we were ok, and I didn't mind so much. I mean, sometimes I had to ask permission for certain things, but it didn't seem like a big deal. Until it wasn't just that, it turned into what I could eat, who I could hang out with and when, what time to be home, what I could wear, and o-other things. But he took care of me, and looked out for my best interests. I owed it to him. He took me in, helped me get better after the hospital, he said he l-loved me. I thought that he wouldn't have done all those things if he didn't love me on some level, right?"

Sounds more like he was controlling you.

"It didn't last though, did it?"

A tear slipped down Kurt's cheek. "No, things started changing again once Carmen realized that maybe piano wasn't the only thing I could pursue. Students from all over the country audition for the chance to study at NYADA, without piano I was just a waste of a slot. So she worked with me, helped me realize that my life wasn't over. I'm forever grateful to her for that." He even smiled a bit. "It wasn't just the playing music I was good at, it was performing. She moved me into the Performing Arts department, the Musical Theatre program specifically. My dance skills weren't as sharp as all the other seasoned dancers, but I could sing, and I could put on one hell of show."

Blaine found himself mirroring Kurt's fond smile. "When one door closes…"

Kurt giggled, "…another one opens." Then his smile fell away. "He didn't like that. All the extra dance classes, new people I met, new clothes, new attitude, just a new me. I was trying so hard to prove I still belonged there, and make a name for myself. I wanted a fresh start, but he just couldn't support me. He'd always knock me down just when I thought I was leaving that depressive place." His pale arms wrapped around his pulled up legs, fingernails digging into the sides of his knees. "The second time I told him I wanted us to break up was the first time he hit me."

Even though he was expecting as much, Blaine's breath still hitched. There was still a difference between guessing the situation and having it be confirmed. "…first time?"

"First. As in, it wasn't his last." He wanted to hide, never speak of this. "Please, don't tell anybody. Rachel and Finn don't know, okay? Nobody does. O-Only my dad. It was part of the agreement. All they know is that he was a shit boyfriend, that we fought and that he was a bit of a control freak. If they knew the truth, I don't think I could ever look them in the eye again."

What got Blaine's attention was, "agreement?"

Dammit.

"I made a deal. My dad was in town one weekend and surprised me with a visit, he must have figured out what was going on. The first thing my dad did was take me down to the precinct, but I guess no problem was too big to sweep under the rug for him and his father. Because the next thing I knew, his father and lawyer were shoving papers in my face. I don't press charges, and his son promises never to contact me again. We go on with our lives like nothing happened." Kurt sniffled pathetically.

"What? How could your father let that happen!? This guy doesn't deserve to get off scot-free. He deserves to be punished for being such piece of shit!"

"Because I didn't want to! It's bad enough that I let myself get into a situation like that. The last thing I wanted was to have my life blasted for the entire Broadway community to know. His dad is a big time producer, if I'd testified against his son, he would have made sure I'd never work a day in my life. And if that wasn't enough, he threatened to have Rachel's show shut down. Funny Girl would have been canceled and it would be all my fault!" He started to cry, laying his head against his knees.

He keeps saying 'let,' like he really believes that it's his fault.

Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's balled up form, seething hotter and hotter the more he cried. "What name is so big that they could get away with something like this? Kurt, h-he stole a part of your life from you."

Kurt's breath kept hitching the more Blaine tried to coax him out his little ball. "You are so naïve. I'm not allowed to taint their family name. It's part of what I signed."

"Surely they wouldn't have taken his side no matter how much money he has."

"Blaine, you don't get it. NO ONE knew. Even when he would hurt me so bad that I'd end up in the Emergency Room, I said I had an accident. They were going to dig that all up and claim that I was just as clumsy at home as I was in dance class. And because I was so fucking miserable, because I was in pain almost 24/7, I drank just to try and feel numb. There were times when I showed up to class drunk, and times when I just blacked the fuck out. No matter how much I tried to watch how much I drank, apparently I never watched it close enough. His lawyers were going to go to my school, my friends… It was his word over mine. Not matter what, I'd never win. And if he had the power to ruin Rachel's career, imagine what he could have done to my brother's bar. Everyone's lives would have been ruined because of me. I couldn't risk that." He shook his head, lifting it up enough to wipe the sleeve across his face.

"Ssh, ssh, it's not your fault. None of this was your fault."

Kurt bit the inside of his cheek, trying his hardest not to break down worse than he already has. He turned over and rested his head over Blaine's heart, reaching out to grab one of his olive hands again. "This morning, I wasn't just crying because I realized I finally found someone to trust. It was also because last night meant a lot to me. I'd forgotten that being intimate with another person could actually feel like that."

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

He closed his eyes, shifting uncomfortably in his seated position. "Sex is supposed to be a way to connect to another person, to feel vulnerable and open with each other. It was never like that with him. He said he could do anything he wanted to me, and that I should be grateful. Because who would want a washed up pianist like me?" When Kurt opened his eyes, they'd become clouded, lost within his own musings. "He alienated me from friends, made me quit my job, beat the crap out of me every chance he got, and made me believe that he wouldn't have done it if I'd just been…better."

The more I hear about him, the more he makes my skin crawl.

"You think I'm pathetic now, don't you?"

"What? No." How could Kurt even believe Blaine thought that for a second?

"It's ok if you do. After the whole ordeal I couldn't even stay in this city. I ran away, back to Lima where I could hide. The minute I was done with school I left, because I didn't know how to be my own person anymore. God, I must have been so pitiful. To the point where my dad had to stick me in therapy." Kurt shrugged.

Blaine finally grabbed Kurt's chin, maneuvering their bodies a bit so he could look him in the eye. "If anything, I think you're even more extraordinary than before." He could feel Kurt's breath hitch against him. "You survived a hell that I could never even begin to imagine. This guy was trying to break you, and you didn't let him. You are the strongest person I have ever met and you…well, you captivate me."

Kurt blinked up at Blaine, eyes wide and disbelieving. "Is that what you really think of me?"

The hazel-eyed man smiled. "Absolutely."

"You don't think I'm u-used goods?" His voice cracked at the end.

"Never," Blaine kissed Kurt's lips, just a sweet peck to soothe his worries. "And I would never hurt you like that, but if you don't believe me yet, that's ok. I'll prove it to you, in as many ways as it takes."

Blue eyes stared at him, open and hopeful. "You're too good for me." Kurt wound his arms around Blaine's neck, pressing their foreheads together.

The musician chuckled awkwardly; those words making him feel guilty about what he, Jake, and Ryder were keeping from him. "Heh, come on. I could say the same about you. Heh. Heh."

I shouldn't talk under pressure.

Kurt pulled back a bit, smiling brightly for the first time since the sun rose. "But really, thank you for listening to me, and for making me trust you."

Blaine calmed at the words, a smirk quirking the corners of his mouth. "Thank you for letting me in."

A/N: Thanks guys for sticking with me thus far. Kurt's story has been a long time coming, and there's just a tad more to his story that will be revealed in lesser doses in later chapters. Hope I didn't overwhelm you lovelies too much! And don't forget to leave a review, they mean the world to me. :)