I'm in heaven: this time Lily took the initiative and asked me to meet after work.
I got the message while I was busy. She texted me, saying she wanted to wind down after the long week. Since it was Friday, and it had indeed been a long week, I agreed in a heartbeat.
It's nothing extraordinarily special, though. But this is the effect Lily has on me! And for once, just like the time she invited me shopping, she invites me again.
It's nice, thinking that we're getting steadily closer. Maybe one day, we'll be best friends, and if I'm lucky, my love for her will have worn off by the time she meets her Mr. Right. And I'll be happy for her, and she'll be happy when I find someone for myself...
It is still sad, sometimes. It hurts, sometimes.
But now is alright. Today is perfectly adequate and I can settle for this for always. It's not difficult, no. Temptation calls every now and then, but remembering that I'm happy is enough to calm that down.
I can't stop the dreams, though. Sleep and its hallucinations are beyond the control of man and I am no exception.
They tend to be cute. Long talks in a world made of alabaster, and we'd smile as we looked at each other. Once there was a soundless war all around us, but we stood back to back, holding flowers. Or there was a river, and we'd run as fast as we could, trying to go faster than the water. Sometimes I'd feel it was a dream without being conscious of it. They were in no way lucid, but I felt it was natural to try to kiss her, and she'd kiss back. It's surreal.
They make me blush sometimes, too. I'd wake up 'hot and bothered', wondering if I'd be able to face her. But I manage, and I forget the dreams.
Reality is enough for me; I don't need those delusions.
I can't wait till later. In just an hour we're free to go and I'll run off to meet her.
I can't wait for reality.