Hey, I'm so sorry for the incredible long wait! I've been very busy. Thank you so much for everyone who's reading this and everyone who has followed the story. It means a lot to me! This chapter roughly follows the storyline of one of the episodes. If there are any mistakes in this chapter, I'm so sorry. Enjoy!

Alex woke up with a smile on her face. She had dreamt about her parents, but it had been a good dream. In her dream her old family and her new family lived together as one. She got out of bed and realized she was still wearing the same clothes she had worn the day before, when she had dinner with Michael. She smiled and quickly showered, thinking about the night before. She had really had a good time. It was nice to be able to talk to a friend without Division being the topic. Once she had put on some fresh clothes, she decided to go looking for Nikita. Before she started with her search, she stopped by the kitchen to grab a sandwich. Then she went to ops, the place Nikita usually was. As was expected she saw Nikita talking to Michael and Ryan when she came walking in,. When she heard Alex approaching, she turned around and smiled.

'Alex!' She exclaimed and gave her a big hug.

Alex giggled and returned the hug. 'Hey.'

Nikita looked at her with a worried look. 'How are you?'

Alex glanced at Michael for a second, hoping he'd see the gratitude she felt for taking her out of Division last night. Then she smiled at Nikita. 'I'm fine, really.'

Nikita returned the smile and hugged her again. 'I'm glad.' She whispered.

It was silent for a while. Alex fumbled a little with the sleeve of her shirt. She felt the stares of Ryan and Michael on her. She knew she had to apologize for her behaviour lately, but she always had problems with apologies. Maybe it was her Russian pride or maybe she just wasn't very good at it.

'I wanted to say that I'm sorry for pushing all of you away.' She started. 'I just needed some time, you know?' Hoping it would be enough for them so they could let it go.

Ryan nodded at her and extended his hand. She hesitantly shook it and he laid a hand on her shoulder. 'It's okay, welcome to the team again.'

She smiled. It felt good to hear that. Michael smiled at her and nodded in agreement. They seemed to accept her apology easily. She turned to Nikita again. 'So how was your road trip with Owen?'

Nikita sighed and lead her by the arm away from ops. Alex walked wit her but threw one last look over her shoulder at Michael. He smiled at her and mouthed: 'Talk to you later.'

She smiled in agreement and followed Nikita out of ops. Then she looked at her friend and mentor questioningly.

'Sorry, he doesn't want everyone to know about his memory problems.'

Alex nodded in understanding. She wouldn't want everyone to know either if she was in a mess. 'Did you find anything?' She asked while following Nikita through empty hallways.

Nikita stopped and leaned against a wall. 'No, we came up empty. We tried going back to the place where Division found him, hoping it would trigger his memories, but nothing happened.'

Alex felt sorry for Owen. 'I can't even imagine what it's like to forget your whole past. No wonder he got all those tattoos. He's afraid to forget again.'

Nikita nodded. 'Yeah, he's freaking out a little bit to be honest. He wants to find Amanda to see whether she knows more.'

Alex raised her eyebrows in surprise. 'Amanda? Like she will ever tell the truth.'

Nikita sighed and ran a hand through her hair. 'I know, but I can't talk it out of his head.'

Alex put her hand on Nikita's arm. 'It will work out.' She said reassuringly, although she wasn't so certain herself. Amanda was a manipulative, lying bitch. Nothing involving her could work out fine.

'So what's the plan?' She asked her friend.

'We've got a lead on Cyrus. Michael and I are heading out soon to bring him in. Owen has agreed to stay out of it for now. I'm afraid he might do something stupid if he'd joined the mission.'

Alex felt excitement go through her body. 'Cyrus? One of the dirty thirty?' If they had a lead on Cyrus, they would be one step closer to bringing Amanda down and one step closer to shutting Division down and finally live a normal life.

Nikita smiled at her excitement. 'Yeah, maybe he can lead us to Amanda.'

Alex pulled her in a hug. 'Be careful, okay? You never know what's she's planning.' She was truly worried about her friend. Whenever Amanda was involved, Nikita became a little bit reckless.

'Don't worry Alex. Michael will be there. It should all go according to plan.'

Alex smiled but didn't answer. It may be called superstition, but she always thought saying something like that was asking for trouble. She followed Nikita to the underground garage. Michael stood there, checking his gun for the last time. He turned around when he heard the girls arrive.

'Hey.' He greeted them.

Nikita walked towards him and put an arm around his waist. 'Hey.' She whispered.

Alex looked away uncomfortably. Usually she didn't mind the two of them being clingy, but today was different. Michael seemed to notice her discomfort, because he freed himself from his fiancée and walked over to her. 'You're okay?' He asked, while Nikita put their bags in the car.

Alex forced herself to meet his eyes. 'Yeah, just be careful. And look after Nikita.'

Michael smiled. 'I will.'

Birkhof joined Alex to see the two agents leave. 'They're going to be fine.' He murmured.

Alex looked at him. 'Oh I know.'

'So, who are they going after exactly?' He asked.

Realisation hit Alex. A smile crept over her face.' They didn't tell you now, did they?' She asked teasingly.

'And you do?'

'As a matter of fact, yes I do.' Alex knew she was enjoying herself way too much, but she couldn't help it. Birkhof was just so easy.

'Tell me.' He demanded.

'Now where would be the fun in that?' She asked him with a smile and left to see if she could find Ryan.

It took her some time but in the end she found him in his office, working through a huge pile of files. 'Hey.' She said softly, not wanting to disturb him. He looked up from his work and smiled tiredly. 'Come in Alex.'

She closed the door behind her and sat down in a chair.

Ryan put the files aside and leaned back in his chair. 'What can I do for you Alex?'

She hesitated for a moment. She knew this was probably a lost cause already, but she had to try. Her arm still hurt but thanks to the Sobelex she was taking, she could deal with it. She really wanted to get back in the field, she needed it.

'I want to get back in the field again. My arm is almost completely healed and you guys need me.' She said quickly.

Ryan listened to her and remained silent for a while. Then he leaned forward. 'Alex, I'm sorry but we've talked about this. It's dangerous and I can't risk losing another agent, just because she's back in the field too soon.'

Alex sighed. She had expected this, but she wouldn't just give up. 'The more agents you have, the more chance we have to get Amanda. What if we fail because we came up one man short?'

'Then we try again another time.' Ryan responded.

'No! You don't know Amanda like I do. You can't just try again with her. She doesn't do second chances.'

Ryan rubbed his forehead. 'Really Alex, I don't have time for this now. I've got a meeting with the president to prepare, Nikita will be here soon enough to discuss Cyrus and in the meantime we're searching for a mole.'

'So let me help! You're busy running this place, Sonya and Birkhoff are hunting the mole and Nikita and Michael are in the field. I'm useless here, but in the field I can help!' She pleaded.

Ryan met her eyes. 'I'm sorry Alex. My decision stands.'

She stood up, wanting to throw the chair away in frustration. Why couldn't he just understand? She turned around and stalked out of the room, passing Michael, Birkhoff and Nikita in the doorway. She ignored their questioning glances and walked to the training basement, to lose some of her frustration.

Half an hour later, she was still punching the bag with all her power, trying to ignore Amanda's voice in her head. The voice of her memories, telling her she was an addict. Telling her she would never be able to stop. The worst thing was, the voice was probably right. She remembered those conversations with Amanda very clearly and remembered the fear as well, the fear to become addicted again. And here she was, taking drugs again to get back in to the field. The worst part was that it had been for nothing. The training, the drugs, everything she had done to be back to a 100% again. She was almost there; she knew it. But Ryan didn't seem to believe her. Why couldn't he just let her go?

In her rage, she hit the bag to hard with her injured arm. She groaned at the pain.

'Take it easy on that arm.'

She looked up to see Michael standing in front of her. His face filled with worry and disapproval at the same time.

'It's not a 100% yet.' He added.

She pushed her hair out of her face. 'I'm fine.' She said annoyed. He might have been there for her the day before, but right now she really didn't need him to tell her what to do.

Michael sighed. 'We've been here before Alex. You don't look fine.'

Alex bit her lip. She wanted to tell him that yesterday had been completely different. Yesterday she hadn't felt the need to take more Sobelex than was good for her. Right now, she craved another pill. She just wanted him to get out so she could get the pill. Maybe she could talk to him later. His next question surprised her.

'Have you heard from Sean lately?'

To be honest, she hadn't given much thought to Sean at all lately. Definitely not since last night. Not that she would tell Michael any of that. It would make her seem like a cold heartless bitch, not thinking about her boyfriend the minute he walked out of the building.

So instead she answered: 'Michael, do you really want to talk to me about boys?'

If she hadn't been in such a bad mood, she would have laughed at his reaction. He raised his eyebrow and almost shivered visibly at the thought.

'Ehm, no.' He answered.

'I just need to get back out there, that's all.' She told him honestly and hit the punching back again to show that she was good enough to go back. Unfortunately, she hit her wounded arm at the wrong place and couldn't suppress a groan.

Michael looked at her with a worried look. 'Yeah well, don't be too anxious.'

Alex met his eyes and something in there made her step away from the punching bag and sit down on the ground. After a few seconds he joined her. He was right, this was exactly the same as yesterday. She hadn't planned on it but suddenly the words flew out of my mind.

'I know everyone is worried about my arm but I need it. I need to be out there, I need to feel like I can do something good. I hate feeling useless and right now, that's exactly what I am. Ryan won't let me go, but if I stay here any longer I'll go mad. What does it matter if I stay here if I can't fight?' She stopped for a moment to take a breath. Michael just waited for her to calm down a little bit. When she didn't continue he looked at her.

'I understand, Alex. We're worried about you, but if you were to go with us we could keep an eye on you if something really went wrong.' When he saw Alex' frown he quickly added: 'Not that anything will go wrong of course. Look, if you don't put the mission or any of us, including yourself, in danger than I don't see the problem if you come with us as back up.'

Alex snorted. 'Yeah well, tell Ryan that.'

Michael smirked at her and stood up. 'I already did.'

She looked at him confused. He was almost out of the room before he added: 'Jet leaves in twenty.'

Her face broke into a huge smile, which disappeared just as quickly. Michael had given her a chance here and she didn't want to mess it up. She walked over to her bag and quickly took out a few Sobelex pills, which she swallowed without water. She knew she should stop taking them but she couldn't risk messing this up. If she did, she would probably be benched for the rest of her life. Okay, maybe not the rest of her life but at least way too long for her liking. She quickly walked to her room to get her things for the mission. She saw Ryan waiting for her by her door. 'Hi.' She mumbled, a little bit ashamed of her behaviour earlier on. 'Hey.' He greeted her friendly. 'I came by to wish you luck with the mission.'

'Thanks, I guess.' She said confused. 'Why do you let me go all of a sudden?'

Ryan sighed. 'Michael seems to trust you a great deal. He told me he has trained you as a recruit and you were one of the best he has ever had.'

Alex couldn't help a sarcastic smile. 'The second Nikita.' She mumbled. Back when she was the mole she had been proud of that name. But now she was annoyed with it. Could no one see her without thinking of Nikita?

'What? No!' Ryan exclaimed. 'Michael mentioned that's what they used to call in you in the beginning, but he also said that they were wrong. He said you weren't a second Nikita, but you were something else. According to him you could do more harm here than in the field.'

Alex grinned at that comment. It was probably true. She could be very annoying if she wanted. Ryan returned her smile. 'Michael has been running this place for a much longer time than I have. I trust his judgement. I hope I'm not mistaken.'

'Don't worry, I promise you're not!' Alex said seriously. Ryan nodded and turned around to walk away. Alex watched him go and than went into her room. While she packed her things, she thought about this new information. Michael had convinced Ryan to let her go back into the field. To be honest, she hadn't expected it. She had talked about her wanting to go back into the field to Nikita and she had reacted the same way Ryan had. Somehow Alex always had the idea that where Nikita went, Michael followed. Apparently she was wrong. She realized that she liked this new side of Michael.

10 minutes later she sat next to Michael in the jet. Nikita was sitting on the seat facing them. Cyrus was sitting next to her. Alex eyed him wearingly. She didn't trust the guy, even though she knew Birkhoff had implanted a tracker in his body. And judging by the looks Michael gave him he didn't trust Cyrus either. Despite herself she felt her eyelids droop. She swore quietly. It must be a side effect of the Sobelex. Michael looked at her questioningly, but soon resumed glaring at Cyrus. Alex leaned back and closed her eyes. Cyrus wouldn't try anything on the jet would he? And if he did, Michael and Nikita could probably handle it before she had even woken up.

'Alex. Alex wake up.' She heard a deep voice say. She looked up and saw Michaels face very close to her own. She rubbed her eyes and tried to look more awake. She looked around and noticed that Nikita and Cyrus were gone. She looked groggily at Michael. 'Where are Nikita and Cyrus?' Michael leaned back again and handed her some field glasses and took his rifle case. 'They've gone ahead to find a good spot. We have to hurry to get to a place with a good angle.'

Alex nodded and quickly followed him out of the jet. She almost had to run to keep up with his large strides. 'Sorry I fell asleep.' She mumbled. Michael looked at her and smiled.

'It's okay. You've been tiring yourself with all those trainings. And of course I kept you out late yesterday.' He winked at her.

Alex smiled and shook her head. 'No, that was fine. I really needed it.'

Michael smirked. 'I know.'

She smacked him lightly on the shoulder. 'Now you're pushing it!"

He just laughed and led her to a room from where they could see Nikita and Cyrus and watch the surroundings at the same time. They quickly set up their gear and watched Nikita and Cyrus waiting for the general. Alex smiled when she heard Michael complaining about Cyrus. Guys were so obvious sometimes. When she saw two men approaching she quickly returned to business.

'I got two suits taking position on the rooftop of the pavilion.' She searched for more information and kept rambling on, hoping to proof her worth.

'Alex.' Michael interrupted her. 'We're not her to start a fight.'

She knew it was just a reminder but it felt like a reprimand to her.

'Something wrong?' He pressed on.

Alex frowned. Had he noticed her taking Sobelex? He would've confronted her or told Nikita if he had, right? She had to suppress her panic.

'Just keep to your target!' She snapped.

She could feel his eyes on her. 'You know, you've been on edge a lot lately.'

She kept silent, panic rising again. 'If you want to talk about it, maybe I can '

'What?' She interrupted him frustrated. 'Save me?'

She could hear the frustration in his voice. 'Help.'

She was silent for a minute. Deep inside she knew she needed help, but telling Michael she was using again, that would be awful. She was certain she couldn't stand the look of disappointment in his eyes if she would tell him. And he would tell Nikita, which she really couldn't handle right now. Surely she could get clean by herself. She didn't need help. Or at least, that's what she told herself. She realized she hadn't answered Michael yet.

'Why do guys always think they need to fix or save or help?' She asked angry.

The minute the words flew out of her mouth, she regretted them. She had really behaved like a bitch, especially after their dinner yesterday. She should be grateful to him instead of snapping at him all the time. She wanted to apologize but before she got the chance her earpiece gave off an annoying sound.

Apparently, Michael heard the same. 'Nikita?'

When there was no answer he said. 'The signal is blocked.'

Alex wanted to make a snappy comment but decided against it. She had done enough damage to their friendship in one day. So she went for a more neutral option: 'So is Cyrus' tracker.'

'That's not good.' Michael's words were like a signal for the two of them to break of. He put the gun away, while Alex gave him a smaller gun instead. Then they ran towards the meeting point, both of them hoping they weren't too late. When they arrived, they saw Cyrus leaping of the wall, while Nikita was struggling to fight three men at the time. Michael and Alex shared a look and went both for a different guy, perfectly in sync.

Alex saw Nikita in the corner of her eye, taking her shoes of to follow Cyrus. Then all her focus was on the guy before her. It was like her world only existed of this guy. Before she knew it, she was beating the crap out of him. She could hear Michael yell something in the distance, but couldn't decipher the meaning. Her sight began to blur when she suddenly felt two strong arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her of the lifeless body of the man before her. She struggled against the unfamiliar touch, but when she realized it was Michael, she let herself get dragged away. Together they ran away from the building, trying to find Nikita. Alex' sight was still blurred so she was grateful for Michaels arm around her waist. Once they had reached Nikita, Cyrus and the sideswipe were nowhere to be seen. Alex kicked the sand away, frustrated at her own behaviour before and the fact that the whole mission had gone wrong. Nikita walked away, back to the plane, the tension written all over her face while Michael sat down on the beach. Alex turned around to see him watching her intently. 'What?' She asked.

'You really need to calm down, Alex. I don't know what's going on, but you need to fix it because this can't go on like this anymore.' He stated.

Tears welt up in her eyes. 'You think I don't know that? I know something has to change, I just don't know how!' She yelled.

Michael got up and walked over to where she was standing. He pushed her hair out of her face and put his hands on her shoulders. 'Hey, it's okay. We're going to figure this out together. I promise. You don't have to do this on your own.' He bent down a little so he could meet her eyes. 'Okay?'

She looked into his eyes for a moment and then closed them. 'Okay.' She whispered and let body relax a little. Michael supported her weight with his hands and they stood like that for several minutes. Then Michael cleared his throat. 'We should probably head back to the plane, before Nikita starts to worry about us.' Alex nodded and together they walked to the plane in silence. Nikita was already seated. She looked at Alex when she entered the plane. 'You okay?'

Alex managed a smile. 'Yeah, just mad at Cyrus.' She walked over to seat across from Nikita next to the window. Michael joined her in the seat next to her.

'Yeah, well. It's our own fault. We should have realized the sideswipe would jam all signals.' Nikita mumbled.

Alex nodded and closed her eyes, falling asleep while listening to the soft mumbles of Michael and Nikita talking to each other.

She woke when the jet landed. She looked out of the window and smiled. Despite everything she had been through at Division, now that Nikita and Michael and even Birkhoff and Ryan were there, it felt a little bit like home. She got out of the plane and followed Nikita and Michael into the barn. It didn't take long to get to ops and when they arrived Birkhoff and Ryan walked over to them, both with grim expressions. Ryan nodded at the three of them and gestured them with his head to follow him. Once they were in his office, they discussed the matter of Cyrus. Alex felt well rested and she really wanted to get that guy and drag his ass back to Division. She knew they should never have trusted him. Of course, she had to readjust that opinion once Nikita found the note. And when she saw Amanda had tied him up to that chair, she even felt sorry for him. That didn't mean she wanted to go over there and save him though. But luckily, she didn't have to.

She didn't like the idea of Nikita and Michael going to Spain on their own, but she knew she could be of better use elsewhere. So when Ryan said Nikita couldn't be at two places at the same time, she took her chance.

'I'll do it.' She said, knowing this was her moment to prove herself. To make up for the slip she made back in Saint Lucia. 'I can prep a team, be wheels up in an hour.' She added. Then she smirked. 'I'm just dying to say hello to Ari.'

'Great. It's decided.' Nikita said.

Alex heart swelled up to hear Nikita trusted her to carry out such an important mission. If only Michael would say the same, but she had already seen him glancing towards her. So instead of facing him, she left the room, followed by Nikita. Just before she closed the door she heard Michael say. 'I know. I'll have them covered. Both of them.' Which made her smile. He was always taking care of them, even if he disagreed with their actions.

'I'm going to pack some guns.' Nikita said. She smiled and pulled Alex into a hug. 'Good luck! You'll get the sideswipe, we'll get Cyrus and than we can get to Amanda.'

Alex returned the smile. 'One step at a time, right?'

Nikita nodded and left to grab her stuff. Alex walked down the hallway on her own.

'Alex, wait.' She heard Michael say. She turned around and waited for him to catch up with her. 'So, you've got me covered?' She asked, half joking.

Michael raised an eyebrow. 'You heard that huh?'

Alex shrugged. 'I'm a spy, remember?' They continued to walk side by side in silence. 'Just be careful okay?' Michael suddenly said. 'I know you can handle this despite all your problems lately. But please, this is Ari we're talking about. He's dangerous.'

'I know. I've dealt with him before.' She answered, touched by his concern.

'Just promise me to be careful?'

She nodded. 'I promise.'

He smiled at her and briefly put a hand on her shoulder. 'Good luck.'

Then he turned around and walked away, probably to prepare for his rescue mission.

'No, we're in Spain. She's In Romania.' Michael explained through the phone. He was talking to the ex navy seal at the moment, trying to get Alex some back up. He knew she was a good fighter and she could handle herself but she had been acting weird lately. He had tried talking about it with Nikita, but she had brushed it of as frustration about Alex' arm. Still, he thought something else was going on. When he had taken her out of Division to his apartment, he had gotten to learn a whole new side of Alex. She had been so relaxed and she seemed genuinely happy. He had liked this part of her. Unfortunately, things had gone south pretty quickly in Saint Lucia. He had wanted to help her, but apparently she wanted to do this on her own. Of course, if that was what she wanted, he would respect that. Or at least to a certain extent. He wouldn't let her put herself in danger again. He still didn't know what had happened back on the previous mission, but when she was beating the crap out of the guy, she definitely did not seem herself. If something like that happened in Romania, she would be in grave danger.

He wished he could be there with her, but he knew he had to go with Nikita. Despite their arguments lately about Owen and a lot of other things, she was still his fiancée and he loved her. He would never let her go into a trap, set by Amanda, on her own. Still, he wished Alex didn't have to go alone. So he had decided to call Sean. It was better than nothing.

'In Romania?' He heard Sean say.

'That's right. Do you have the coordinates?'

'Yeah I do. Oh, Michael. Thanks for letting me know.'

'Oh trust me. Thank you!' Michael responded honestly. He felt better, knowing Alex had some backup. He hung up and heard Nikita approaching.

'All good?' She asked. She had agreed with him on asking Sean for backup, but it annoyed him that she hadn't thought of it herself. She had been Alex mentor for even longer than he had been himself. She should see when Alex needed help. He decided to let it go, now was not the time.

'Let's hope so. You?' He answered.

'Yeah. Hey, whatever happens, I'm really glad you're here.' She said.

He felt a pang of guilt. He had just wished he didn't have to be here. He quickly covered it up. 'Well, you know I love Spain.' He joked.

'Yeah well, I know I pushed too hard on this' She waited for an answer, which he couldn't give. Yes, she had pushed too hard, but he understood. He just didn't want to talk about it.

'Just promise me something. If Amanda really is here, push harder. This time, kill the bitch' He said. For all of our sakes, he added silently.

She just looked at him and started to make her move towards the church. He followed her and tried to put Alex out of his mind for the moment. She would be safe with Sean, he told himself.

When Alex returned to Division with Sean after her mission in Romania, she felt bad. Really bad. She had messed up another mission and she really needed to get some pills. So the minute she got into the building, she went to her own room to get the Sobelex. Once she took them, she felt a quick relief, but it faded away soon enough. She thought about Romania. If it hadn't been for Sean, she would have been dead now. Of course, if Michael hadn't made that call, Sean never would have come. So she owed Michael once again. She quickly pulled on a blue sweater and went to look for Sean. It didn't take long; she practically walked into him immediately.

'Hey. You're still here.'

'Yeah, I just had a debrief with Ryan.' He explained.

'Great. Ehm, look about Romania. I just wanted to say' She started.

'There's no need to explain yourself, it's fine.' He interrupted her.

Alex felt a flash of irritation. 'Well, I wasn't going to explain myself. I just wanted to say thank you.'

'Michael asked me to do a job and I did it. That's all.'

That hurt her, of course it did. But somehow she had expected it to be worse. She felt sad and a little bit disappointed in Sean. Couldn't he see she needed someone right now? Someone who cared about her? But his face said enough. They were over and that was okay, she realized. If he couldn't try to accept her, the way she was and support her, than it wasn't worth it. So she walked on to get to the briefing to listen to the new plan.

Nikita's words about them being Amanda's targets woke her up out of her dazed state. She looked around and saw the faces of Ryan, Birkhoff, Nikita and Michael. She couldn't bear to lose them. She had just started to feel like a part of a family again. She tried to hide her feelings but the minute the conversation was over, she left the room and walked over to the ventilation shaft. She opened the door and got in the shaft. She pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them, tears streaming down her face. Everything was falling apart in front of her. First her arm, then the Sobelex, then the failed missions and now Sean was leaving her as well. It wasn't about Sean, but more the fact that another person was leaving her once again.

Suddenly she felt an arm wrapped around her shoulder. She looked up and saw Michael sitting next to her. 'Hey' He said softly.

She didn't respond immediately and just looked at him. He rubbed her shoulder with his hand. 'Want to talk about it?'

She just shook her head and felt the tears well up again. 'It's okay, Alex. I'm here.' He murmured and pulled her closer into him, letting her cry against his chest. It took her a few minutes to calm herself down a little bit. She knew she looked awful right now, with red, puffy eyes and her hair a mess, but she was too tired to care. Michael stroked her hair and it made her feel like home. She relaxed a little and closed her eyes again. Within a few seconds, she fell asleep in his arms.

I hope you liked it! Please tell me what you think and if you have any suggestions, please let me know.