One Moment
Chapter 21: Mine/Yours

Characters/Pairings: Shunsui and Starrk. Shunsui/Starrk. (Yes, just these two.)
Rating: PG-13
Words: ~6300 (+ ~6700) (You'll see why later)
Chapter Summary: Starrk and Shunsui move to the next step of their relationship.

The kimono was wrapped around his chest high enough to cover his collarbones entirely, and the scarf draped over his neck was a strange weight even though it was made of light cotton. Starrk fidgeted slightly beneath the clothes, fingers twitching as he fought to not pull the scarf off or the collar down.

Shunsui, walking a little distance ahead, turned around and gave him a teasing grin.

"You look good in that, you know," the Captain said.

Starrk shook his head. "That's not what I'm worried about," he said. He never cared about his own looks, after all. "It's just feels weird to have something on my mask fragment."

As an involuntary emphasis, he rubbed at the bone beneath the cloth.

The smile dimmed a little, turning apologetic. "I wouldn't have asked you to wear it if it wasn't necessary," Shunsui told him. "People in the First Districts might be more aware about what happens in Seireitei more than anyone else in Rukongai because the Shinigami drop by so often, but they are like any other plus soul in their instinctive fear of Hollows."

"I know," Starrk nodded. He raised his hands, making the white stone on his wrists gleam in the bright sunlight. "That's part of why I'm wearing these, right?"

Shunsui reached out, stroking his fingertips over the bird of paradise flower engraved on one restraint. "I wish you don't have to wear them."

The other reason was, of course, the possibility of Starrk's reiatsu crushing and eating the multitudes of helpless plus souls in Rukongai. Of course, he could control his reiatsu – better now especially with Masamune's help – but Central Forty-Six apparently wasn't taking any chances.

Starrk shrugged. "I don't mind," he said honestly. "It's good enough that I don't have to wear them within Seiretei already."

He still wasn't entirely sure how the Central Forty-Six had been convinced to make that particular decision. According to Shunsui, the argument went that, in the case of a sudden attack or invasion, he would be completely useless as a weapon against enemies if he was restrained, especially if Shunsui and Ukitake were too occupied by fighting to release him.

Honestly, Starrk would rather have to wear them all the time. He was still nervous about walking around without them. What if he lost control of his reiatsu? What would happen to the unranked Shinigami then? They were little better than plus souls in term of power, after all, and Starrk's reiatsu was a hungry, grasping thing.

Well, Starrk knew he could still go around wearing the restraints – he wasn't forbidden to do so, after all. But at the same time, he knew all too well that not making full use of the freedoms given to him would be suspicious in the eyes of those who did not trust him. And there were still far too many who didn't.

Watching Shunsui out of the corner of his eye, Starrk wondered distantly just how the man managed to stay sane when he needed to constantly think in circles like these. There were so many things to keep in mind all at the same time that he was dizzied by it. It was almost enough to make him wish for the simple emptiness of Hueco Mundo.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

He blinked, lifting his eyes up. Shunsui was watching him, head cocked to the side, and Starrk shook his head.

"It's nothing really," he said. When Shunsui frowned, clearly about to prod him further, Starrk waved a hand. "You haven't told me about where we're going."

There was a moment of silence when Shunsui looked at him, clearly contemplating whether he should go with that far-too-obvious change of subject. Starrk shoved his hands into the pockets of his dark blue hakama, forcing himself to not fidget as he met that gaze.

Then Shunsui smiled again.

"We're going to Junrinan," he said, throwing his arms out in a flourish. "It's the First District of North Rukongai."

Starrk blinked. "That would actually mean something if I know more about Rukongai," he said wryly.

He knew that it was a little ridiculous that he knew so little about what laid outside Seireitei's tall white walls after being in Soul Society for the past months, but Starrk had been occupied. Not just with Masamune with the conflict before him, but also with learning to read and write and finding the stories that Aizen had told him and learning the truths the man had hidden beneath the lies.

Not to mention catching up on the history of Seireitei and the way things worked around the place. There were so many rules, both spoken and unspoken, that it had taken him weeks of stumbling around in the dark before he even managed to have a conversation with Ise Nanao without her frowning.

(Though he never had a problem with Shunsui, he knew that was less because of his own proficiency than with the Captain's complete and utter disregard for most rules unless it was convenient for him to follow them.)

Shunsui was smiling at him now, clearly waiting for his attention. When Starrk focused on him again, he slipped his arm into the crook of Starrk's elbow, starting to yank him along.

"Seireitei has four gates – north, south, east, and west," he said. "Outside of each gate are three hundred and sixty districts, separated into eighty districts each in the four directions. We're going to the First District of North Rukongai, which is right outside the Kokuryoumon."

"The Black Ridge Gate," Starrk murmured. "Is there a reason for the name?"

"Not that I know of," Shunsui shrugged, which probably meant that there was no reason at all or that it was too boring for him to remember. "Anyway, the name of the District is Junrinan, and it's pretty famous for the beauty of their sakura."

Starrk raised an eyebrow. "If I want to see trees, I could've just stayed in your Division," he pointed out.

"They don't just have trees," Shunsui laughed. "You see, the souls who come to Rukongai usually bring with them some remnants of their skills, so there are plenty of shops around with craftsmen selling their wares."

Now that was interesting. There were shops within the walls of Seiretei, of course, all of them manned by the non-Shinigami members of minor nobility, but the things they sold were purely practical – clothes and food and utensils and such. Things of beauty were never displayed, because those in Seireitei who had enough spare cash for such things always had what they wanted custom-made.

"What kind of things?" he asked.

"Everything you can think of under the sun," came the prompt and unhelpful reply. Shunsui laughed again at the flat look Starrk gave him.

"I'm planning to take you on a tour, Starrk," he said. "And you can see what I mean by 'everything'."

As they were speaking, ther gate approached. Starrk turned towards it, tipping his head up. The walls were so high that they seemed to reach the skies, the white stone practically melting into the clouds that were drifting around the wide blue expanse.

"Danzoumaru!" Shunsui yelled, his voice so sudden and close that Starrk jumped. "Mind opening the gate for us?"

There was no reply. Starrk stared blankly at the gate in front of him – it was a giant piece of white stone, belying its name, with no hinges whatsoever. Just how was the gate going to be opened?

His question was answered when he heard the sound of shifting gears. Starrk watched, gaping, as the stone lifted itself up. It was only for an inch, maybe two, before the sounds stopped. Then a bunch of thick fingers appeared in the gap, and the gate was literally lifted upwards through sheer physical strength, revealing a pair of legs – each thicker than four of Starrk placed together – clothed in the usual black hakama of the Shinigami's shikahashou.

Starrk had seen Yammy in his released form; had been there when Yammy was named Cero Espada out of the sheer strength of his reiatsu. But this man – if he was a man at all – seemed even bigger than he was.

"Come on, Starrk," Shunsui tugged on his arm.

He followed Shunsui automatically, half-stumbling in the other man's grasp. His eyes were still fixed upon the figure, and he almost fell over himself when the gatekeeper – for surely that was who he was – released his hold on the gate and it went crashing down, sending a huge cloud of dust around them.

"It's rare that you're using the gate to come to Rukongai, Kyouraku-taichou," a loud, rumbling voice said.

Slowly, Starrk raised his head. His gaze skimmed past the huge chest to see a head almost as big as a boulder. The skin was dark, he noted dully, and the man was entirely bald. The only hair on his head was his bushy white eyebrows.

"Well, going by shunpo over the gate would've defeated the point of a sightseeing tour, wouldn't it?" Shunsui grinned. "One of the greatest sights of the First Districts are the gatekeepers, after all."

The giant snorted. "I hardly think of myself as a tourist attraction, Kyouraku-taichou," he said.

"It would be a shame if Starrk-san missed a sight that practically every Academy student had seen," Shunsui countered. "You don't mind, do you, Danzoumaru?"

"My duty is to open and close the gate," came the mild reply. "The reasons to do so is not for me to consider."

Shunsui sighed, exaggeratedly dramatic. "You're no fun," he huffed. Turning, he smiled at Starrk. "Shall I introduce you? Starrk, this is Danzoumaru, the Gate Guardian of the Kokuryomon in the North."

Starrk barely gathered enough wits around himself to nod.

"Danzoumaru, this is Coyote Starrk," he began.

"The former Primera Espada, who fought against Aizen and weakened him so that the Substitute Shinigami Kurosaki Ichigo could defeat him," Danzoumaru rumbled. "The man who risked his life when aiding the Shinigami against the rogue zanpaktou Muramasa. I have heard of you."

"You're pretty caught up in your news, Danzoumaru," Shunsui remarked, sounding amused.

"Of course, Kyouraku-taichou," the giant said. "Though I do not step into Seireitei frequently, I dislike being ignorant of its happenings."

"But it's strange," Shunsui continued, and there was that note in his voice that Starrk was familiar with; that implied that he was planning something. "Most of our unranked and lower-ranked Shinigami do not know what happened. So who told you about Starrk?"

Danzoumaru looked unruffled. "The Captain-Commander told us all Gate Guardians about him and Lilynette Gingerbuck, so that we will not mistakenly raise the alarm if we notice them leaving or entering Seireitei."

"Yama-jii did?" Now this was something unfamiliar – Shunsui's surprise.

"Yes," Danzoumaru nodded. "Is that a legitimate enough source of information for you, Kyouraku-taichou?"

Shunsui was silent for a moment, a strange look on his face. Then he nodded, smiling. "Well, I'm sorry for doubting you." He turned to Starrk. "Come on, we should get going. The day isn't waiting for everyone."

"Wait," Starrk said. His mind was still reeling, but there was one thing that was stuck in his head. "The Captain-Commander told you that about me?"

Surprise looked odd on the giant's face, as if he was entirely unused to the emotion. "Yes, Starrk-san," he said, and the honourific was unexpected too. "Should he have said something else?"

Yes, Starrk thought. He had expected the old man to say a multitude of other things: that he was a Hollow; that he could not be fully trusted; that the gatekeepers should keep a close eye on him just in case he went on a rampage or something and hurt the plus souls in Rukongai; or even that they had orders to not allow him to leave and to raise the alarm if he tried.

But Shunsui's hand was over his mouth, his arm over his chest, and Starrk found himself being bodily dragged away before he could even say a word.

"Nope, there's nothing else that he should've said!" Shunsui said cheerfully. "Don't worry about it, Danzoumaru! Keep up the good work!"

When Shunsui moved into shunpo, Starrk didn't even have the presence of mind to activate his own sonido. So he found himself being dragged along, feet floating through the air, before Shunsui stopped.

They were in a copse of trees, their leaves bright green from the season. Starrk barely noticed his surroundings, his attention almost entirely fixed on Shunsui.

"What was that?" he asked, barely being able to keep the hysteria from his voice.

Shunsui looked at him, lips curving up into a crooked smile. "That was your efforts paying off, Starrk," he said gently.

"What?"

"It's hard to gain Yama-jii's trust, you know," Shunsui told him, folding his arms into his sleeves. "He has lived for so long and has seen so much, but, somehow, you have managed to convince him that you can be trusted. That you should be given all the freedoms that every Shinigami within Seireitei has a right to."

Starrk blinked. He ruthlessly stamped down on the hope rising within him.

"Are you sure it's my efforts and not yours?" he asked, trying his best to keep his voice light.

But Shunsui was looking at him, solemn and sorrowful, and he knew he had failed.

"Yama-jii might listen to what I say, but his judgments are always his own," the Captain said, sighing softly. "Even if I exhaust myself talking, he would have never seen you as one of his without you proving that you're worthy of that distinction."

"One of-" Starrk tried not to choke. "One of his?"

Shunsui grinned. "Every Shinigami in the Gotei Thirteen is one of Yama-jii's," he said, cheerfully slapping Starrk on the shoulder. "Welcome to the fold."

Closing his eyes, Starrk slumped against the closest tree, his legs no longer able to hold him up. He knew he should be happy, because this was what he wanted, wasn't it? To be accepted, to be part of something, to belong. And yet his mind refused to believe it, because surely, surely…

"There are responsibilities you should fulfil, of course," Shunsui told him, clearly reading his mind.

"Like what?"

"Why, fighting for us, of course," Shunsui said cheerfully. "You must defend Seireitei, help to protect the lives of the Shinigami around you, fight against any enemies that we come across… Just like any other shinigami."

Starrk had stopped breathing at some point. He tried to start up his lungs again.

"Of course, most Shinigami also have the duty of performing konso, but I think Yama-jii has decided to put that off somewhat until we have confirmation that you can perform konso on living souls instead of accidentally eating them."

He forced his eyes open.

Shunsui had leaned in at some point, and he was so close that Starrk could see the flecks of blue in his grey eyes.

"In other words, Starrk," the Captain said softly. "You just have to do what you have been doing all this while."

"I…" he licked his lips. "It just seems too easy."

Crooking an eyebrow, Shunsui chuckled. "Is it really? It has been months, Starrk."

"I thought it would take years," he replied, voice soft and shaky. "Or even decades."

"Well, there's still a ways to go," Shunsui pointed out. "There are still people who haven't accepted you yet. But now that Yama-jii is on your side, you have crossed the biggest hurdle, haven't you?"

Starrk let out a long breath, feeling the air cut against the skin of his throat. He let his head drop forward, resting his forehead against one broad shoulder.

"It just seems too good to be true," he murmured.

Shunsui's arms came around him, holding him carefully. "When you want something for a long time and you finally earned it, it always does," he said.

They stayed like that while Starrk counted heartbeats; while he steadied his own breathing. Shunsui was warm and solid and grounding against him, and it felt safe in a way he had never known before this man.

"You lied to the gatekeeper," he muttered finally. "You didn't bring me through the gate to do a proper scenic tour, did you? You brought me here so the gatekeeper could tell me what he had."

The sound of Shunsui's chuckles made the air vibrate, and the tiny tremours sank deep past skin and nerves to wind around Starrk's heart.

"Mm, I did," he admitted, completely unabashed. "I knew I couldn't fool you."

Starrk lifted his head, looking into grey eyes before he shook his head. "You weren't trying very hard."

"What's the use?" Shunsui grinned. "You would've figured it out no matter how hard I try."

Well, that was likely true. But at the same time… Starrk's fingers stroked over the curve of Shunsui's cheeks. He knew that it was a show of faith too – of trust – that Shunsui was so easy with the knowledge that Starrk could see through him with barely any effort.

Before he thought about it, he was leaning in, brushing their lips together. He let the taste of Shunsui's lips, the tremulous gasps against his mouth, to still the thoughts of debt and fairness in his head.

When he pulled away, there was a knowing look in Shunsui's eyes that told him that the Captain knew exactly what he was thinking about. Starrk was about to apologise when he was tugged forward.

"Come on," Shunsui said. "I do mean it when I said I wanted to show you Junrinan."

Starrk looked at him. Looked at the way Shunsui's hand was curled so gently around his wrist, right above stone. He swallowed back all the useless apologies he wanted to say, and nodded instead.

"Okay," he breathed. Let's go then."

The first thing Starrk noticed when they arrived by shunpo straight into the heart of the District was that the streets of Junrinan was different from Seireitei's. There were no paved concrete roads, only smoothed dirt with patches still wet from the summer rains. Starrk stepped carefully, trying his best to not dirty his tabi. Then Shunsui tugged him forward, nearly making him trip. Mud splashed on the white cloth, and Starrk gave it up for the loss.

It was far more interesting to focus on everything around him instead of his feet anyway.

Everything was so much… dirtier here. Seireitei had always been a sea of gleaming colours: white and red and grey and beige and blue and so many others, all constantly polished and cleaned whether by manual labour or kido spells. Its streets never had a single hint of trash. But Junrinan did not have members of the Fourth dedicated to cleaning, and there was dirt on the streets – cigarette butts and ash, paper wrappers, pieces of strings, scraps of cloth, and even dropped food from time to time. The awnings of almost every house was slightly frayed, black dulled to grey and red to brown by time and the weather's beatings.

Even the cobblestones were different: rougher, with sharp edges here and there where the stones did not fit as well; where pieces were washed away from rain or cracked open by sunshine.

To Starrk, so used to the endless, unchanging sands of Hueco Mundo despite the months he had spent in Seireitei, Junrinan was filled to the brim with signs of life.

Not just life, but art as well. He stumbled to a stop in front of a shop. Its window was stained with some fingerprints, and he added to them as he stared inside. There were tiny dolls there, each unique with their faces intricately carved and painted – noses, lips, cheekbones. Their eyes were made of bright, almost life-like glass. His breath caught in his throat when he noticed the kimono of a male doll: its sleeves were embroidered with ripple-like waves, perfectly miniaturised.

When Shunsui dragged him up to the workshop on the second floor, Starrk gaped like a child. There was a woman wearing glasses there, embroidering a piece of cloth tinier than her palm. She explained that it was made for a doll in the shape of an infant, and Starrk stood there and watched as the kanji for blessing and good fortune came to life beneath her skilful fingers and needle.

He had never thought that something so small could have so much detail.

When he finally managed to leave, his attention was snatched by the window of the shop across. There were shoes there, zori embroidered with thread just a subtle shade darker or lighter than the cloth. But what fascinated him most was the shoes smaller than his hand, barely bigger than a doll's clothes, with sharply-pointed toes and tiny heels the size of his thumb.

They were not for dolls, Shunsui explained. They were for women – real women, old souls who died more than seventy years ago; women who lived during a time when a country named China in the Living World still had the custom of binding the feet of their women. These tiny, bright-coloured things were for them to wear.

Shunsui dragged him off again before Starrk could ask how women could walk if they were full-grown and their feet were so tiny.

The Captain brought him to a shop that sold kimono. Unlike those in Seireitei, where there was nothing on display except bolts upon bolts of cloth, there were ready-made kimono here, all made for women. They were in summer's colours – primarily greens and golds and oranges and dark purples, splattered with some reds and pinks. Flowers bloomed on cloth, either printed on cotton or stitched on silk.

More than simply kimono were on display. Shunsui explained that, for women, there were many different pieces they had to wear. There was the wide obi and the rope-like obi-age that Starrk had seen Masamune wore when he was still Muramasa; there was the inner collar made of a different material and colour; there was the clips worn on top of the obi-age; there was even hair accessories made of wood or porcelain or metal painted to match the seasons.

When they left the shop, Starrk was extremely glad that he was not a woman. For men, there was only the kimono itself, the sash, and perhaps hakama and haori if one chose. He was also glad that Lilynette's obsession was with yukata instead of kimono, because she surely would have completely bankrupted Ukitake's and Shunsui's combined fortunes with how quickly she went through them.

He asked Shunsui about how the cloth were made, for surely they were all not made by hand like a doll's clothes. Instead of replying, Shunsui took him down three different turns: past roadside stands selling street food, past houses belching smoke from kilns, past two shrines, past a street full of old men with wood and chisels in their was practically shoved into a shop emanating a series of clicks that he could hear even down the street.

There were a group of men and women sitting front of wooden machines that Shunsui told him were called looms. Threads were pulled from the top of the loom down to long columns, and the workers stepped on paddles that wove the threads together to create the patterns and designs. He was drawn towards one particular bolt of cloth being woven with threads in at least ten different shades of grey, from silver to almost-black, and watched as tiny, overlapping diamonds appeared every time the woman stepped on the paddle or shifted her hand.

Winter's colours, for a man, the worker explained, her smile bright as she trailed gentle fingertips over the web of threads. We have to start now so that the kimono can be made in late autumn.

When he was allowed to touch, the cloth felt rough and smooth at the same time, gliding over his fingers. It gleamed with a dull sheen beneath the sunlight pouring in from the window, and Starrk knew that he was holding pure silk in his hand. He jerked away instinctively, afraid of dirtying the cloth.

Shunsui told him, a little wry and sheepish, that his family always ordered cloth from this particular shop. Starrk wasn't entirely surprised: he had felt the kimono that Shunsui wore over his Captain's haori; had known the weight of silk in his hand; and figured out a long time ago – ever since he learned about money – that Shunsui was as rich and high-ranked as any noble of Seireitei could be.

He tried not to worry about a man like that being with someone like him – someone who was born and lived during his time in the Living World as little better than gutter trash – accepting the affections of someone with such a high pedigree by dragging Shunsui back towards where he could see smoke billowing.

The entire street smelled of burning wood and baking clay, but the objects shown in every window was different: from vases and pots to bowls and plates to tiny figurines to chopsticks to the ribs of fans. Shunsui tugged him into the last shop, and Starrk followed, his eyes widening at the sight of thin cloth painted with pictures of plants – bamboo and plum and sakura and pine and maple – and animals – goldfish and carp and rabbit and fox – and even figures he recognised from the legends and tales he read in the past months – Kaguya-hime and Tsunade-sama and Suzume-sama and Otohime-sama.

When he asked Shunsui why there were no male legendary figures being presented, the Captain laughed and told him that porcelain fans were wielded only by women.

Then he was dragged down the maze again, this time to a shop selling fans made with metal ribs. The paintings were different here: there were still plants, but mostly bamboo and pine; there were still animals, but wolves and tigers and snakes and toads; and the legendary figures were different as well, images of Jiraiya and Kintarou and Momotarou and Susano'o decorating the heavy fans that Shunsui told him could be used in battle. Tessenjutsu – the technique of fighting with a fan – were used by women to defend themselves, and by men during times in which it would be impolite to carry a sword but too dangerous to go unarmed.

It was such a strange thing that Shinigami and plus souls and humans had such differences between the things worn by women and men. For Hollows, male and female were separated by their physical shapes and little else.

He was in the midst of considering the reason behind such differences when Shunsui declared that he was hungry and dragged him back towards the roadside stands. Here, there was more types of food than Starrk had ever seen – grilled skewers of eel and livers and hearts and sweet potato and yam and a thousand different things; ramen sold in bars where people stood to eat; rice topped with furikake of all shades of the rainbow and then some. His senses – heightened ever since his battle with his wolves – were assaulted from all fronts, and he allowed Shunsui to choose what to buy.

Which, of course, meant that Shunsui bought a little bit of everything.

They returned to the same copse of trees they had started out at. Starrk stood there, his hands shoved into his pockets, and stared up to the skies. It was streaked with reds and oranges and pinks from the approaching sunset, and he realised, suddenly, that they had spent the entire afternoon already and he had not even noticed the passage of time.

Shunsui handed him a skewer full of grilled and mildly-salted meat, and Starrk started eating absentmindedly. One of the strange things about having his Hollow hole healed over was that he needed to eat food now, instead of souls. He didn't question the reason why, too glad that such things could sustain him and that he wouldn't eat souls by accident when he was too hungry to look a gift horse in the house.

"So how do you find Junrinan?" Shunsui asked. Starrk blinked, looking around him for a moment before he realised that Shunsui had sat down beneath a large tree while he was thinking.

"There's so much of the world I still don't know and have not seen," he murmured, walking over to sit as well.

Shunsui smiled at him around the sides of his own skewer. "Well," he said when he swallowed. "I've only shown you the tip of the iceberg. There's so much more out there."

"I know," Starrk nodded. "But…"

"But?"

"I've spent so much time in Hueco Mundo, staring at nothingness," he said, looking away. "I wasn't even aware that there was so much to discover just one Garganta away."

Reaching out, Shunsui squeezed his shoulder with a hand. "You have plenty of time to learn and discover now," he pointed out quietly. "There's no need to regret about the past."

Starrk wanted to protest; wanted to say that surely he didn't have all the time in the world, not in Soul Society. Surely at some point the Shinigami would look at him and realised that he was a Hollow, a threat, and…

No, he decided. No, there was no use in letting himself spiral down such darkness. He had been accepted as one of them by the Captain-Commander. And, more important, he knew that he had a space to belong here, right beside Shunsui.

It won't last, a soft insinuating voice whispered in his mind, sounding like Aizen. How long do you think you have until he tires of you?

He had no answer for that.

You do, another voice told him, irritation clear and sounding incredibly like Lilynette. You know. You just have to think about it.

"Starrk?"

He blinked open his eyes. "Mm?"

"Your food is going to get cold if you don't eat it," the Captain said.

Starting to eat again, Starrk kept his gaze on Shunsui, thinking over what that second voice had said. He let his hand drop back to the side while he ran through everything that had happened to day; everything that Shunsui had shown him, whether about Junrinan or about himself.

Shunsui had brought him out here, past the gate where he learned that he had some form of acceptance within the world he had already accepted as his own; here, to this District, where he had shown him wonders when he could have had left Starrk back in Seireitei where he would have never known anything more than the gleaming white streets.

If there was one thing Starrk knew about manipulation, it was in showing only the briefest glimpses of the truth. He had broken past some of the chains that Aizen had laid upon him when he gained knowledge of his own; when he realised that there were shadows in between every word and cleared them away by himself.

There were no shadows in Shunsui's eyes. Not even now, when Starrk was staring at him for long enough to gain suspicion. There was only… a gentle sort of joy whenever Starrk had exclaimed or gaped at something beautiful he had never seen before.

I do it because there is nothing that makes me happier than to make you happy, Shunsui once told him.

Turning away, Starrk closed his eyes. There was still a part of him that was unbelieving; that simply cannot believe that there was nothing that could be given to him without there being something he had to give in return. But Starrk was tired of that voice; tired of the weight of the chains that Aizen had laid upon him; tired of being dogged by Aizen's ghost with every step, by everything that the man had told him and which he used to believe in so wholeheartedly.

If he could accept that all the stories he had been told were all distorted lies, then why couldn't he accept that the most fundamental rule of Las Noches did not apply to the world as a whole?

If he could do something without asking for anything in return, then why couldn't Shunsui? Why couldn't any Shinigami? Why couldn't anyone?

The world framed in terms of debt was one full of shadows where threats could leap in any any moment to crush him or eat him whole. It was one that was grey and faded, for the clarity of any action was veiled by thoughts of what he had to do in return; by all that would be taken for him to pay the price.

He had seen brightness and beauty today. And it sickened him towards this grey, shadowed, faded world.

Letting out a breath, he opened his eyes without knowing when he had closed them. He turned towards Shunsui.

The Captain blinked when he recognised the weight of Starrk's gaze, and he opened his mouth, most likely to ask if he was alright.

There were no words Starrk wished to say. Words were hollow, fragile things, fading into nothingness after a while. They couldn't contain this strange heat within his chest.

So he leaned forward and captured those parted lips into a kiss. Shunsui stiffened slightly, his hands coming up to close around Starrk's arm. But Starrk only leaned in even closer, trying to show him that his actions was not driven by thoughts of repayment or debt; trying to make him feel the strength of the desire in his chest.

Tried to show him that he did this for no reason than simply wanting to.

Slowly, achingly slowly, Shunsui relaxed. He tipped his head up, parting his lips further. Starrk shifted, knees sliding over grass as he cupped Shunsui's face with both hands, kneeling above him as he deepened the kiss.

Despite the warmth of his mouth, Shunsui tasted the cool, pure waters, bubbling in a small spring that came straight from the frozen summits of mountains.

"Much as I liked that," Shunsui murmured when they paused to catch a breath, "What is this about, Starrk?"

Half-lidding his eyes, Starrk traced his fingers over the side of Shunsui's face.

"You told me that you want nothing from me but my presence," he reminded softly. When Shunsui tensed beneath him, he stroked his thumbs in circles around the temples, right beside the hairline. "You told me that it makes you happy when I am.

"Do you still mean that?"

Shunsui's eyes were wide. This close, Starrk could see the multitudes of emotions flickering through them, appearing as a series of colours like light through a prism.

"Yes," he said finally, his voice so soft that it was barely a breath across Starrk's lips. "Yes, of course I still mean it."

Starrk smiled, wavering at the edges. "I think… I can believe you now." His every word ghosted over Shunsui's lips, like a light tease. "It was on the in the look in your eyes today."

Shunsui blinked, opening his mouth to speak. But Starrk had to continue, so he pressed his fingers on those lips.

"I believe that you want nothing from me except for what I am willing to give," he murmured. "And I…"

He took a deep breath, and leapt into the abyss.

"I'm willing to give you everything."

The next words rushed out of him. "I don't want to give myself to you because there is nothing else I can give to repay the debt I owe," he said, meaning every word. "I don't want to do it because I think you deserve it after all you have done.

"I'm offering this out of my own desire, Shunsui. Because it's you."

The words weren't enough, ill-fitting over all that he felt. But Shunsui seemed to understand, nonetheless, because he smiled.

It was small, barely an upward curve of the lips, but its beauty far exceeded the dolls and kimono and cloth and pottery and paintings and everything else he had seen that day.

Shunsui's arms wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him close until Starrk was practically straddling his lap. He didn't move away, instead leaning in even further until their foreheads touched.

Fingers brushed through his hair. "The look in my eyes?" Shunsui asked, a slight teasing note in his voice. "Dare I ask what that means?"

"It's everything," Starrk answered, chuckling. He knew that it was entirely unhelpful, but it was the most honest answer he could give.

The sun had came out behind his eyes, chasing away the shadows and letting him truly see. From the very first time when Shunsui came to him after his battle with Aizen; to giving him free reign of his personal library after Starrk learned how to read; to the countless times Shunsui had defended him in front of the other Captains; to his easy acceptance no matter what Starrk or Lilynette became… Shunsui had done all of it without any possibility of reward or reciprocation; done it for a man who had absolutely nothing to give in return except for himself, and he had not even asked for that.

It had always been there, the sincerity shining in Shunsui's grey-blue eyes.

He kissed him again, deep and slow, their chest pressed so close together that he could feel every breath.

"We're going to finish eating," Shunsui murmured, words half-muffled by Starrk's mouth. "Then I'm going to bring you back to the Eighth, and fulfil my promises."

I will make love to you over weeks. I will touch you until every curve of your body is engraved on my fingertips. I will kiss you until your taste will linger on my tongue for decades. I will scour the memory of every pain, every tear in your heart, and replace it with pleasure alone.

Starrk trembled even as he laughed, his fingers tightening on Shunsui's shoulders.

"I'm looking forward to it," he said.

Notes: I had to cut the sex scene because it's beyond the M rating of FFN. There is a link in my profile to where it's posted in full on AO3. Don't worry; I'm leaving you guys hanging.

The descriptions of Junrinan/Rukongai First District North is based on Kyoto, especially the area around the Arashiyama old districts, Chujoshima, and the road leading up towards Fushimi Inari. I tried my best to capture in those paragraphs the atmosphere I felt in those areas during my visits. Let me know if I succeeded?

Lastly, references. /takes a deep breath.

Kaguya-hime is from The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter and the Moon, Tsunade and Jiraiya is from The Tale of Jiraiya the Gallant, Suzume-sama is from The Tongue-Cut Sparrow, Kintarou is from The Adventures of the Golden Boy, Susano'o is from a Shinto legend found in Kojiki, and I've used Momotarou and Otohime before. Goldfish and carp are fish well-known for their beauty and how difficult they are to keep – usually analogous with well-bred noble women of samurai classes; rabbits are considered sweet and kind and are usually kept by those women as pets even in the Edo period; foxes in legend are always female. Wolves and tigers are images of masculinity carried over by the Chinese, while snakes and toads are associated with men due to Jiraiya the Gallant. Bamboo, pine, and plum are known as Sho-Chiku-Bai, with varied symbolism and used pretty much everywhere but especially associated with the educated samurai classes in the Edo period.

(Yes, Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Orochimaru from Naruto are named after the figures of that particular legend. No, Susano'o is not just a Sharingan technique, but another legendary figure. He's the one who killed Yamato-no-Orochi – the eight-headed, eight-tailed snake – and took Kusanagi from its corpse. Shounen manga – actually, manga in general – is so stuffed full of references to Japanese culture and symbolism that it's so fun to try to pick all of them out.

I know, I know, I'm a complete nerd.)