Chapter Six: Realisation

Kurt's mind was in disarray. He and Puck had continued their... thing over the past few weeks and it was going well. Nothing had really changed between them to outsiders, whenever they would see one another at school, Puck would make his customary comment about Kurt's girly demeanour or clothes and Kurt would round on him with some scathing comment about his clothes or his life choices, so no-one, except Blaine, had caught on.

In private, the duo were completely different. Noah would almost come across as loving, or at the very least incredibly gentle with Kurt. Where his hands would leave bruises on Kurt's pale skin in the past, the fingertips gave way for Kurt's pleasure. He never pushed for Kurt to give up his virginity, seemingly enjoying their arrangement and respecting his choice to give that part of himself to someone special, although on more than one occasion he had voiced that he did not understand that mentality.

However, this meant that the countertenor was in serious distress over how he was beginning to... feel about his former bully. This new, caring side of Noah was not something he had banked on when they started up their agreement. Kurt had almost hoped that he would be just as brusque as ever and then he wouldn't have had to worry about any danger to his heart. Although, he had to admit, he did like the fact that Puck allowed himself to open up to Kurt a little. He had told Kurt about the goings-on in juvie, how giving Beth away had almost killed him and how much he loved his mother and sister.

Overall, Kurt knew that he was in trouble. And he knew that he had to do something about it. Anything to make the worry in his heart go away. He knew he couldn't afford to fall for Noah Puckerman and his charms.

So it was with this in mind that Kurt found himself standing outside Dalton Academy after school hours waiting for one of the boys to show up so he could enjoy himself.

He didn't have to wait long. "Hey, Kurt." It was Jay. One of Kurt's 'regulars' and he was practically panting already, although, Kurt thought fairly, that could be from basically sprinting towards me as soon as he noticed me. "What are you doing here?"

"Hello, Jay. Well, actually, I was looking for someone to scratch an itch of mine..." He smiled coyly, looking up at the other boy through his lashes and running his forefinger down his blazer to toy with one of the buttons.

"My dorm-mate is out for another hour or so..." Jay murmured, his eyes darkening with lust. "We can go there to scratch this... itch."

Kurt smiled and nodded, signalling for Jay to lead the way.

Puck was hanging out with his nine-year-old sister – so not badass – and helping her with her math homework – seriously, people think I can't do math? I do my own books for God's sake! – when she asked, "Who is the pretty boy who comes over sometimes...?" Noah was shocked and he knew his face must have told her so as she continued, "It's just that he's not like you're other friends who are boys... And he's a 'special' friend isn't he?" She turned her big, doe-eyes to him and smiled.

For a moment he just gaped at her like a fish out of water, before he could find the sense of mind to reply. "Yeah. Yeah he's a 'special' friend. His name's Kurt... He's in Glee club."

She nodded and as she went back to her work, she spoke up again, "Jenna has two dads." Ok, so now I'm stumped... where is she going with this...? "She says that they love each other a lot and that it's just like having a mum and dad. And Santana left you for Brittany..."

"Where are you going with this, Lily?" He asked impatiently, tapping his fingers on the kitchen counter where they were doing her homework.

"I'm just saying, No-No, that it's normal." She patted his hand and smiled again. Noah suddenly felt a weight, that he hadn't even known he was carrying, lift from his chest. Then as quickly as the conversation started, it was over. She frowned at the paper on the table, "I don't get this question." She said.

He grinned and took the pencil from behind his ear, quickly looking at the question, "Ah, carry the four over, you see?"

"That. Was. Fantastic." Jay murmured, basking in the afterglow with the top of his pants still resting on the middle of his thighs.

Kurt smiled, but didn't reply, swinging his slender legs over the edge of the bed and tucking himself away. It didn't feel as good as it should have. Noah had ruined him... And now... Now he knew what was trembling in heart, what was attempting to blossom. He was falling for Noah Puckerman. Hard. And he was doomed.

Collecting his things from the chair by the desk of Jay's dorm, he cast a final glance at the boy on the bed, "Thanks for the fun." He said before he left.

Making his way back to his car through the halls of Dalton, he found himself casting his mind over the past couple of weeks again.

Unlike many of Kurt's sexual partners, Noah never pressured Kurt into giving up his virginity and for that he was grateful, but knowing what was in his heart now, he was beginning to wonder whether giving that part of himself to his former bully would be that big of a deal. Puck was the first person to respect Kurt's decision to keep his virginity intact, but also the first person to truly touch his heart enough to prevent him enjoying sexual relations with anyone else.

Kurt would be the first to admit that he had been crushing on Blaine on their first meeting, but it hadn't affected him as badly as this. He could still enjoy himself with others. Kurt would even go as far to say that he was even... In love with Noah. He couldn't think of any reason as to why he would feel so dirty after doing what he had done before the Mohawk-ed teen entered the picture.

At this point in time, Kurt couldn't see anyone else that he would be willing to give himself to. Would he go to college a virgin? If he did, would he, by then be too scared to give away that part of himself? Or worse, would he be unable to forget this feeling that was currently growing for Noah?

It was starting to get dark and once he reached his car and was safely inside the cab he took his phone out of his bag and tapped it lightly on his mouth as he debated as to whether he was ready for this step.

Physically, he was prepared. Mentally and emotionally... he was unsure, but wasn't it what most people wanted? To give themselves to someone they knew they had feelings for? Besides the fact that Kurt knew that Noah would at least know what he was doing...

Sighing, he typed out his message.

Noah was making dinner for his mother and Lily – so I'm domestic, so what? I'm still badass – who were sitting at the kitchen counter, when his mobile vibrated in the pocket of his ratty, old jeans. He smiled when he saw that it was from Kurt. However, upon opening the message he could feel his expression become one of shock.

"What's wrong, Noah?" His mum asked, concern etched on her features as she turned her eyes away from the spreadsheet – her work – in front of her, to her son.

"Nothing, Ma. Something good." Noah smiled, re-reading the text to make sure he wasn't dreaming it.

I want you. Inside me. As soon as possible. I'm ready. Your place, or mine?

Noah replied: Ma and Lily are out tomorrow... its a Saturday. My place.

It was only then that Noah's mind registered the importance of this to Kurt and the fact that he wasn't freaking out about possible repercussions. Perhaps that would have been the time for some 'soul searching'... Instead he just fantasised about how gorgeous Kurt would look writhing under him in his bed.

Gorgeous?