I'd love to pretend that things are great. Unfortunately, pretending can only get you that far.
No worries, things ARE great, to some extent. Time goes by, things happen, the usual. But I feel like some things are happening behind my back, and I don't know what it is, exactly. Don't get me wrong, I trust Gumi, but I feel like she's hiding something.
When people keep something a secret, it's to protect themselves or someone else. I know that Gumi is perfectly reasonable and would only lie for that single purpose. Yet it feels like when we were just getting to know each other; the time she was avoiding me. She recently admitted it was because she didn't know how to handle the 'falling in love with Lily' thing. But that was then; what is it this time? Now, it's less physically avoiding me and rather keeping quiet. She's not telling me much at all.
At first I thought it was still about her parents. But I saw her talking with other people, and it's different. She talks as if nothing is wrong, when I'm not there. At Crypton, I can hear her and her friends through the bloody walls. They joke, mess around, etc. But when she's with me, she only says things I already know.
It hurt, because it felt like she didn't want to confide in me anymore.
This thing lasted for about a month. Most of the time it was me just denying it, until I woke up, slapped myself, and remembered my old mantra of not denying crap like this. Then I thought about it for a few days.
The facts were that she had spent more than half a year with me, mostly in secret, then because of that, lost her parents.
Did she blame me? Had that damaged our relationship?
Remember, long ago, when I refused to give up our 'friendship' because it had meant too much to me to give up? Same thing here, except now I'd rather die than bail out.
So I talked to her. I really tried to. She didn't tell me anything.
It hurt.