This is John's love letter to Anna as requested by my lil sis A-lady-to-me.

Miss Anna Smith

Downton Abbey

Yorkshire

(Her fingers trembled as she recognized the handwriting and she tried in vain to contain the huge smile breaking over her countenance)

Dear Anna-

My time here in London has been productive but somewhat lonely without the time I am usually able to steal a word or two or a smile or a joke with you. I find myself at the servant's table here with my book and my tea of an evening but nothing and no one else, although of course I am not really alone. At any rate, as the evening wears on I become restless and long for a bit of air and a private word or two with you in our courtyard. (Our courtyard! What a glorious phrase) Funny how such an odd collection of crates and refuse has become almost a paradise for me. You asked me upon my departure if I should miss you. I suppose these words are your answer.

(She ran her finger over his words as if to assure herself she had read them correctly)

I've been to see my mother today and she sends you her highest regards. In fact we talked about little besides you. I hope that you are not embarrassed to hear me say so. It was at my mother's insistence that I write you this evening. She has set me a mission and as her ever dutiful son I must obey. Anna, she says that you are in love with me, a fact which you were brave enough to reveal on your own, a fact which still humbles me each time I think on it, and that I must return the confidence and let you know my feelings as well.

(He paused here wondering how to put his feelings into words and whether or not he was brave enough to do so at all).

As women are so much wiser at these things than men, I suppose you already know what I have been trying to say with looks and laughs and every so often a touch. But Mother assures me it will be better to say it straight out, that you deserve to know all that I have never been able to say. I find it ironic that it gives me comfort to write these words while I am away. I don't know that I would be brave enough to whisper them to you in person.

(Anna had to force herself to continue to read every word instead of scanning the next lines for what she most hoped to find there). How is that for the bravery of your war hero, hiding behind paper, pen and ink?

But I suppose I've told you nothing yet, have I? What an old fool I am, Anna, and how you can find it within you to love me I know not. (He paused again, taking deep breaths). My mother asked me today what were my feelings for you and perhaps it will be easier to tell you what I told her.

Anna, you are sunshine and light. You are good and kind and generous. You are intelligent and funny. Your are beautiful of countenance and character. And I love you. (There they were, good God, there they were). I love you Anna May Smith. With every fiber of my being and every breath in my body, I love you. I tried so hard not to, but I lost that battle so long ago now that I simply can not remember a time when it wasn't true. I long for you as a thirsty man in a dessert longs for water, and I've been in Africa so I know.

I hope that Mother was right to have me tell you. She says it will afford you comfort, which I doubt, and that you are strong enough to deal with my feelings, which I do not doubt in the least. I have never met a stronger or more capable person in my life, woman or man.

So there you have it my darling Anna. I've said it and can not take it back. It comes with no kind of offer except this, the only one I can give, that I will do everything in my power to find Vera and procure a divorce so that I may someday ask you to marry me. Whether I will ever find her, whether that blessed day when I ask you to be my wife will ever arrive, I know not. But what I do know is this, you have completely captured my heart and it is yours in it's entirety until my death, or longer than that I suppose.

Lord Grantham and I should be returning home early next week and each day I am apart from you will be torture. I'm sure I will be brooding over your reaction to this letter until I see your beautiful face once again. Please forgive me if I have overstepped the mark but my mother is the wisest woman I know next to you so I will trust her in this.

Until I see you and feel whole again,

Your adoring,

John