Once we got off the bus back at campus, Eric grabbed my hand and quickly took me away from the crowd that was forming by the buses. I glanced back to see Lauren's brother and a couple of his college friends sitting on the hood of his car and looking in our direction. Once Luke's eyes and mine met, he smiled. I waved at him.

"Wait," I said to Eric. He turned to look at me. "I'm going to talk to Lauren's brother real quick."

"No, I don't think you should."

"Oh my, you're acting just like Aidan."

"Trust me, I heard him the other week. You can even ask Peter and Lauren. He wants to do more than just talk to you. Why do you think I hurried over to take you out of his car that night?"

"Jealous, aren't we?" He looked away, attempting to hide it. I pulled him closer and kissed his cheek. He smiled a bit. "There you go," I teased. "Envy isn't a good look on you." Just as I thought he was going to kiss my forehead, he leaned lower and planted a kiss on my neck.

"I'm sorry," his lips mumbled against my neck. I think I was going to faint. He was making my head cloudy.

I put my hand on him and softly pushed him away.

"Am I forgiven," he said softly. I could still feel where his lips had pressed against my neck.

"That was almost as persuasive as your smile."

"I guess if my smile doesn't work, I could do that," he teased.

"Be careful, Alex," I heard Clayson call from behind us. I turned to see him with Drake and Mike, Rachel's ex-boyfriend.

"He might not be there in the morning," said Drake menacingly. "Isn't that right, Eric?"

Eric's fist clenched and he stepped forward to say something. I quickly grabbed his arm and pulled him away. Why was everyone making it hard for Eric and I to be friends?

He opened the door to his room and I walked in and sat down on his bed. While opening my duffle bag to make sure I brought clothes, I remembered what the bonus was that I was going to give to Eric. I started to laugh.

"What?"

"Nothing," I said looking up at him and shutting the bag so he wouldn't see. "Can I use your folks bathroom?"

"Of course. You know you don't need to ask. Besides your brother would be upset if you pee'd in your pants." He smiled.

"Shut up." I lightly pushed him and made my way to the bathroom.

I took a quick shower and changed into my pajamas. When I came out he was standing right by the door.

"I need to shower too," he said smiling. He kissed me on the forehead. "There's some snacks in the cabinets above the fridge. Help yourself and I'll be right out."

Honestly I was quite nervous about the bonus I said that I was going to give Eric. I brought out a pack of the golden oreo cookies, a can of easy chese, and made me a bowl of instant noodles. I didn't realize I was mixing the cookies, the cheese and the noodles until Eric stood in front of me, wiping whatever water was still dripping off his abs. OH. MY. GOD.

"You might end up throwing up, then your brother would be really mad." I couldn't really respond. He looked so hot and why in the world was he shirtless now? I loved seeing him shirtless, but why was I starting to panic?

"Alex," he knelt down in front of me. Eric took the pack of oreo cookies and the spray can of easy cheese out of my hand. "I'm being serious now, are you okay?" I looked at his face and he was worried. I mean I would be concerned too if someone was sitting in front of me putting noodles and cheese on top of cookies and eating it.

"I'm fine. I was just deep in thought, I hadn't realized I was using the noodles and the cheese as some sort of frosting," I said smiling attempting to make a joke out of it. He didn't buy it.

"You sure? I heard girls eat weird combinations of things when they're sad or upset about something, but this is just..." he paused and then walked the cookies and cheese back to the cabinet. "I really don't know how to explain to your brother that you're sleeping over here. It would be even worst for me to explain why you're vomiting." I just realized what he was trying to get at. Me sleeping over and then vomiting. Aidan might think I was pregnant.

"My brother knows I wouldn't go and get myself in trouble," I replied. Eric lifted his eyebrow and then smirked.

"For someone who doesn't like theories, you sure figured that one out pretty quick."

"I can't take all the credit, you pretty much led me to that conclusion."

He later convinced me to give up the noodles, which wasn't hard. I wasn't really hungry, I just needed something to distract me from my thoughts. Everyone was at the party in the old science building. But talking about the party didn't distract me either. We talked about both of ours game, but I was still so nervous. Why was I so scared? He must have sensed that I was still bothered by something, so he suggested that we should kill something.

"Excuse me?"

"On our Xbox. I'm not talking about actual murder."

"Sorry, like you would know anything about murder," I joked, but he seemed to quiet down. Was it a bad joke? He would have said so.

"Like really, I'm getting dizzy from all of that," I made my hands in a huge circle around the TV sometime in the middle of the game.

"You're kidding right? That's good graphics. You can tell how the design team..." Eric started talking about the different perceptions, the effects, and the multiplayer options. I could barely understand what he was talking about. I started to laugh in the middle of his description.

"What?"

"Nothing," I said still smiling. "I get it," I said as I moved my head to look back at my player running on the screen. "Awesome graphics. Something I believe only a Erudite nerd would appreciate."

"Shut up," he said as he lightly shoved me.

"You've got to admit that was pretty analytical of you. Despite whatever anyone says, I swear that head of yours never ceases to impress and amaze." Suddenly the game paused. Great, did I go too far? I turned to look at him and he was staring at me.

He smiled slightly and looked down.

"Sorry Eric. I didn't mean to strike a nerve. I was actually..."

"Paying me a compliment," he said finishing my sentence. I nodded. "Do you really think that though, Alex?"

"There's a lot of people who think that too."

"Yeah, but you hardly ever give anyone your good opinion, so it's more valuable when someone finally earns it." (A paraphrase on a line from Pride and Prejudice) "So..." he said leaning closer. "Do YOU really think that, Alex?"

I don't know why I felt like playing around with this moment.

"Perhaps I do, perhaps I don't," I teased. Immediately he smiled. I closed my eyes and looked away. He pulled me close to sit in his lap and tried to get me to look at his smile.

"No," I laughed knowing what he was trying to do. "That smile is only going to get you so far," I continued to tease and turned in his lap to face my back to him.

"Really?" He brought me closer, pressing my back against his bare chest and touched the side of my neck with his lips. My breath hitched and judging from the smile I felt on my neck, he knew he had me. He softly pulled my hair to tilt my head and sucked on my neck. "Turn around," he whispered against my neck. Immediately I turned in his lap to face him. How in the hell was he getting me to do this?

"Tell me," he said as one of his hands started to rub my back. I hesitated. I was still trying to recover from his lips on my neck. "Tell me," he repeated. "And then I'll tell you something."

"Why are you trying to bargain? I'm actually already entitled to a surprise remember?"

"Me telling you something is part of the surprise."

Really? That's all I was going to get was him telling me something. Then it hit me, he was going to tell me more about last year. Perhaps I could even get in a couple questions, ask him about what Cara and Four's mom had eluded to. I took a deep breath, knowing that if I wanted some honest answers I had to give out a couple of honest answers myself.

"You know I hated you earlier this year," I started looking away from him so as not to see if my words would hurt. "And you're right. I could see you wanted me to think better of you, yet I still made it hard for you. After you tried to become friends with me, I still refused. I guess I am pretty one-track minded like Aidan said." Eric continued to rub my lower back. I couldn't help but feel like I was being coaxed into a confession.

"Even after all the protecting, helping, and kind words, I never wanted to admit it. Irregardless, you still became one of my closest friends here. And I honestly believe that the guy that is in this room with me right now," I said turning back to look at him. "That he is real. That people are just trying to bring him down for past mistakes. That," I paused to kiss his cheek. "Whatever was said about him being damaged and unfit for Erudite standards, is wrong." I stared into his eyes, letting him know that there was only sincerity in what I said. That whatever I thought, it was gone. It was over with. His hand ran down my cheek.

"Thanks Alex. It really does mean a lot to me to hear you say that." He closed his eyes and his head dropped a little. "You have no idea how much that means to me." Eric looked back up at me and took a deep breath. "You might not want to forgive me for this, but," he shut his eyes and looked away. This was really troubling him. I leaned down to kiss his cheek, but he pulled away.

"I'm the reason why you almost got raped that day at the river," he practically spat out.

"No, you pulled me out of there and brought me to Tris." He seemed even more frustrated after I said that. He picked me up, sat me on his bed, and then sat back on the floor facing me.

"I'm the reason why Tris almost got raped too last year."

"Aidan told me about that."

"What did he tell you exactly?"

"That I wasn't the first one. They tried it with Tris."

He continued to look at me, probably debating if he should still continue. "They got farther with Tris, though." I jumped a little as I was sitting on his bed. "They actually dragged Tris away from the river. They tried to rip her clothes off, but Four heard her screaming for help. He got there before anything else could happen." Relief flood through me. Thank God it stopped there for her. I couldn't imagine something like that happening to any one of my new friends, especially Tris.

"Four ended up beating them up, real bad too. Thought they wouldn't do it again after the beatings they received from Four, but I guess I was wrong."

"So they didn't drug her, like they did me?"

"They did. Actually gave her more than you."

"I don't understand. I didn't even finish the bottle and I ended up passing out when Four and Uriah were helping Tris bring me back to my room."

"Tris has some uncanny ability to still discern reality. I guess you could say she has a pretty high tolerance for alcohol and drugs."

"And where in that story does this make it all your fault?"

"I'm the one who gave them the drug."

"They could have gotten it from anywhere."

"No, not this one type of drug, I know it. In it's pill form, it distorts your judgement, but my sister..." he paused to look away.

"You're trying to dumb this down for me, aren't you?"

Eric turned to me and smiled. "No. You're smart Alex. Don't ever doubt that. I just don't really know how to explain it. My sister, she somehow turned the pill into a liquid form, like a serum. It's tasteless, colorless, scentless, so no one would recognize it in their drink. But, she turned it even more lethal as a serum. Besides your judgment, your memory of that day may also disappear, your eyesight goes temporarily, it numbs every nerve in your body, to the point that you can still feel what's happening, but you can't do anything about it. It was meant for something else, but I ended up giving it to Drake and Clayson."

"Eric," I said getting off the bed to sit closer in front of him. I held both of his hands in mine. "You had no control over what they did with it, after you gave it to them."

"You don't understand, Alex. I told them what it does to the mind and the body. I practically fed them the idea," he yelled this time. He withdrew his hands and looked away.

"Eric." I reached out to make him look at me, but he wouldn't budge. I was getting frustrated now. I threw my body onto his. It caught him off guard, because I almost knocked him to the floor. I put my hands on both sides of his face, forcing him to keep his focus on me.

"You didn't tell them to go out and rape the girls at school. You didn't give them permission to do any of that. You made one small error in judgement by giving them the drug, but in no way did you know what they would do with it. No way that you participated in the actions that followed. And no way that you would ever condone such a crime. Do you really think" I said softer moving my body into a closer straddle. "That that's something the real Eric would have done?"

He smiled slightly and then dropped his head against mine.

"Why aren't you mad with me," he whispered.

"I am," I whispered back. "So much to the point I would love to knock you out right now. But I'm pretty sure the guys probably did something to you."

He chuckled under me. Oh boy did his body feel good. My hands were skimming his abs.

"When I told them, Four, Zeke, Will," he let out a sigh. "Even your brother took a couple punches at me."

I leaned back a little to look him in the eye.

"Just a couple punches. I think I would have broke both of your legs too." He started to chuckle again. "Besides that, you've already been feeling guilty and upset about everything that happened. I can't even imagine the guilt that my brother went through the past couple years for what happened between me and him. Even after we talked it out, I can tell part of him is still sad. I'll admit I'm still a little hurt, but I can't hold it against him knowing that it's been eating away at him."

"Even though I don't like or approve of what you actually did do," reminding him that it was just a mistake in judgement. "I'm pretty sure you suffered enough. As Freud brought out, guilt is the most powerful of all obstacles to overcome in a person's psyche. Because of the conflict of ego and conscience, it leads a person to have great anxiety and depression and lack of self worth." I sat up straighter.

"Hey, you did learn something in Psych class," Eric teased pinching my side.

"Thanks to you. A lot of good things happened and that was all because of you. Like you said, Four may have gotten there in time to rescue Tris. But YOU," I said as I rested my head on his shoulder. "You made sure that I got out of there in time too. That whole thing with my brother, we never would have talked things out, unless YOU suggested it. That game where my parents were upset with me, I probably would have done something stupid just to spite them, but YOU reminded me that they still loved me, despite what I did. Just remember all the good that you did and whatever mistakes made in the past, it's passed already."

"Thanks, Alex. I really wanted you to know. I just didn't know how I was going to tell you. And now that I have, and with you being willing to forgive me, it means the world to me Alex." Eric leaned his head down on mine and I could feel his breathing slow down. We stayed like this for a while, until he picked me up and put me in bed. I scooted over and he crawled in after me. Just as he was about to wrap his arms around me, I sat up in bed.

"Since you gave me a small part of you and your life, I just remembered that I was going to do the same for my incentive to you."

He started to rub his hand on my thigh. "Alex, you gave me understanding, consideration, and forgiveness tonight, that was more than enough."

"I gave you my word though." He sat up to object. "Eric I felt bad about breaking my promise about always being there to cheer for you. I was really stressed out about this part of the incentive. This is why I ate cheese, cookies, and noodles," I said as he started to chuckle. "If I don't get this over with now, I probably never will. So can you just let me do this for you?"

He looked away. He was willing to accept my listening ear and my compassion, why did I still feel the need to give him more? Because deep down inside, it was there. The feeling that I liked him, the feeling to please him, the feeling of desire and it burned whenever we were together. Eric turned his head back to me, ran his hand down my cheek, smiled slightly, and nodded.

I let out a deep breath and cleared my throat. The nervousness was coming back. I grabbed at the bottom of my tank top, slowly lifted it over my head, and threw the shirt on the floor to reveal a cute royal blue, Eric's favorite color, lace bra. Immediately Eric's smile got wide.

"You asked me once to see me shirtless," I said remembering that night. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I started to laugh. He cleared his throat a couple times and hit his chest and coughed as if he had something stuck in his throat.

"I didn't think I'd make you speechless." He started to chuckle again and shook his head as if he was trying to regain all reason and clarity back.

"Eric," I almost screamed, punching his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he said trying not to look back at my chest. I rolled my eyes. "I didn't expect that to be part of your incentive. It just took me by surprise, that's all."

"Well, so you won't die of shock," I said reaching over him to the floor. " I can put my shirt back on."

"No," he protested pulling me back. "This is good. This is actually," he said looking back down. "Really good." I hit him again, to which he started to chuckle.

"What happened to understanding was enough for tonight, huh," I teased.

"Hey, anytime you want to give me this bonus," he paused. He just really couldn't help but look down could he? I smacked my hand on his chest. "What? It's distracting."

"Oh my god," I said rolling my eyes. I laid back down on the bed, pulled him down, and placed his arm around my waist.

Every now and then I felt his hand inch away from my waist and traced along the bottom of my bra. The feel of his chest against my almost naked back was driving me insane. Eric hooked his leg around mine, pulling our bodies even closer. He moved my hair away from my neck, leaving it exposed for his lips. He started to nibble and suck at it. I couldn't control my breathing at all.

But as quickly as it started, it stopped.

"About what Clayson and Drake said," Eric stated.

"I thought we were going to forget about the past?"

"I just wanted to make sure you knew that what they said was wrong." I rolled over to face him. His hand ran down my cheek and he kissed my forehead. "I'll be here in the morning. I'll always be here for you."

I kissed his cheek and snuggled back into his chest. "I'll be here for you too."