Chapter Twenty-Two: Names and Futures

The following Tuesday evening found both of them curled up on Kurt's couch, books scattered about them and Finn sitting on the floor beside Noah's legs.

"I don't see why you're so against the name Drizzle." Finn muttered, flicking through the baby name book on his lap.

"Dude, no offence, but no kid of mine is gonna be called Drizzle." Puck laughed, "It's an awful name."

"Besides, Finn, it's not fabulous enough for my baby." Kurt said, leaning forward to grab another book from the coffee table.

"Or badass enough." Noah added, causing Kurt to smile.

There was a small pause. Pages slid against one another as they flicked through the books in hand and the odd scratching of pen on paper as Kurt noted down a couple of names that he liked. Noah sipped his tea every so often – coffee had been banned until it stopped making Kurt want to relive his breakfast backwards – and would run a gentle hand over Kurt's stomach now and then, almost unconsciously.

"What about Neive?" The quarterback offered. Kurt pursed his lips, considering the name before he nodded and wrote it down on the 'Girl' page.

"And Joni." Puck said, stealing Kurt's pen and writing it down on the same page before Kurt could protest. He kissed his cheek as he handed the pen back.

"I like the name Malakai, for a boy." Kurt voiced, swiftly writing it on the 'Boy' page. "And Mischa."

"Loving the Jew-names, babe."

"Who's that designer dude you like, Kurt?" Finn asked, confusion on his face as he flipped back and forth in the book.

"Ralph Lauren?"

"No, it begins with an 'A'."

"Oh, Alexander McQueen!"

"Yeah, what about Alexander... Or Alex, maybe."

"I like that name, too." Noah murmured, taking the pen and writing it down. "What does it mean?"

Finn quickly flicked through his book and ran his finger across the page, "Man-warrior."

"Oh, yeah, I definitely like that name." He underlined it.

"I think we have a first name if it's a boy." Kurt grinned and wrote 'Alexander' in his beautiful cursive on an A6 size card. "Has anyone in Glee started a betting pool on what Smidge will be?"

Noah looked sheepish, "Actually, I've put twenty dollars on a boy."

"I'm hoping for a girl – a little niece and I can be cool Uncle Finn."

"Dude, you'll be cool Uncle Finn whether Smidge is a boy or a girl." The quarterback smiled goofily at his teammate and punched him on the arm. "Mercedes is betting on a girl, too. And Rachel. Tina I think has gone for a boy."

"Dave's betting on a boy, too." Finn added.

"Dave? As in Karofsky? Really?" Kurt asked incredulously, "Why?"

"He's... changed I 'spose. He doesn't sit with the hockey team anymore." Puck smiled humourlessly, "It's been a tough week for him too, actually. But he sits with us now; even came to Glee last week."

"He need's people who know what it's like to be different." Kurt whispered, flipping through a few more pages. At Puck's quizzical look, he figured David had yet to 'come-out' so he refused to divulge further when questioned.

When Finn turned back to his book he suddenly went very quiet and very still. He quietly asked for the writing pad and flipped to the 'Girls' page and silently writing a name down and passing it back to Kurt. Noah read the name over Kurt's slim shoulder and rested his chin there. He smiled over at Finn.

Elizabeth. Kurt raised a shaking hand to his lips, tears burning his lids. "Sorry, boys." He whispered as Finn handed him the box of tissues from the coffee table, "Hormones."

Noah kissed his forehead, grabbing the other A6 card on the table, "Middle name, Noah." Kurt murmured. He wrote 'Elizabeth' in the middle of the card in his messy scrawl. Everyone knew how much Kurt's mother meant to him.

Noah gave him a gentle squeeze, a hand skimming his stomach and Finn touched a large hand to Kurt's knee as the countertenor wiped his eyes.

"Thank you, Finn." Kurt smiled, "I don't know about you two, but I'm starving. We'll come back to this in a bit, but I really like Malakai for a boy's middle name at the moment." Kurt stood and stretched, his T-shirt riding up and revealing a strip of pale, slightly swollen stomach to Noah's hungry eyes.

"Dude." Finn grumbled warningly and Noah raised his hands submissively.

"I can't help it, man." He said, drinking in the sight of Kurt's ass as he disappeared into the kitchen. "I can't get enough of him."

"Gross."

"Finn, he's carrying my baby. I..." Puck growled lowly and ran a hand over his face.

"You, what, dude? Do you love him?" Noah threw him a vulnerable glance. "Then why haven't you told him?"

"I want to be sure of it. I want him to be sure of me." Noah sighed and sat more fully on the sofa, tilting his head back and staring at the ceiling. "I almost lost this opportunity with him, Finn, I don't wanna ruin it and end up back at square one."

"I don't understand." Noah looked at him as though he was one brick short of a load. "No, I mean, he gave you his virginity, right?" Puck nodded, "Dude, you've gotta know how important that is to him. He wouldn't just hand it to anyone."

"I know that, but... I dunno, man. I'm not ready to say it and I don't think that Kurt is ready to hear it. If I told him now, this early into the pregnancy, he's gonna just assume it's the same as it was with Quinn." Finn winced but waved his hand when Noah made to apologise, "I don't want that to taint it."

"You're a bit of an old romantic, aren't you, Puck?"

"Shut-up, dude. This is important to me, and it's just as important to Kurt, if not more."

Finn held up his hands and shrugged before he changed the subject to sports and more common ground. They exchanged some banter about football for a little while before Kurt returned followed closely by Carol, both carrying a few sandwiches. Kurt put a plate in Noah's hands while Carol gave a plate to Finn and wandered back into the kitchen to continue chatting to Burt, dropping a kiss on Kurt's cheek as she passed.

Kurt smiled at Carols retreating back as he sat back down next to Puck. He took a bite from his sandwich – a sandwich that even Finn would refuse – and said, "I meant to say earlier, but I think I've finally decided on what colleges to apply to."

"Yeah?" Noah asked, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah. Well, I'm not sure I'll want to take on Broadway with a toddler, so I thought I might change my options a little. I'm still going to apply to NYADA, but it won't be a total loss if I don't make it. I've been thinking about my passions and I've looked into F.I.T and Pratt. Both look pretty good and they offer great courses..." He paused to take another bite of food, his brow furrowing in contemplation.

"Where else?" Noah prompted gently.

Kurt smiled, "Well... I've also looked at Kent State here in Ohio."

"What?" Finn looked incredulous, "You've always wanted to get out of Ohio."

"I know, but the courses they offer are pretty good. I'd have a choice of performing arts or fashion at one university. It's only three hours away. At the moment it just seems more practical."

"Kurt," Noah looked a little angry, "I know you want to be close to your dad and Finn and all, but you've gotta think about what you want to do. I'll follow you wherever you wanna go, but if you're thinking of going to Kent State out of some sense of fidelity... I don't think I could live with that." He took Kurt's hand and pressed a kiss to its back, "You deserve New York, Kurt. You deserve the big, 'impossible' dreams." Kurt smiled, "Besides, Smidge'll be, what, almost two before the first semester starts. Plenty old enough for me to be trusted with him or her; or for us to consider a childminder or playschool."

"I'm pretty sure I'll be able to trust you with Smidge no matter the age." Noah grinned happily at Kurt before they both resumed eating. "So... I'll keep Kent State as my back-up and focus on the other three."

Finn continued eating happily, flicking mindlessly through one of the male pregnancy books, stopping suddenly at a page and staring up at Kurt, a dopey look on his face.

"What?" Kurt asked looking worried for his step-brother's mental health and feeling oddly vulnerable – he blamed the latter on the hormones.

He held up the book and pointed to a rare photo of a man (possibly late twenties) in his third trimester standing in profile, one hand on his protruding stomach. "I was just thinking how amazing it is that you can do this. Like, right now, it's still not all that real," Kurt scoffed unattractively, "visually, I mean. But in a couple of months..." Finn trailed off, grinning, "you'll be all round with a baby bump."

"Finn." The quarterback looked at Noah, "Shut up, dude."

Finn glared at his teammate but did as he was told, turning back to the book and continuing to look through it, absorbing all the facts about Kurt's pregnancy as possible.

"What about you, Noah?"

"Sorry?"

"Have you looked into any colleges yet?"

"Not really. To be honest, I'm still not entirely sure what I want to do for the rest of my life." He looked a little panicked – everyone he knew seemed to have concrete plans for their future; even Finn wanted to be a pro-footballer or an actor (at least he'd narrowed it down to two options). Rachel obviously wanted to be a big Broadway star, Artie was looking into directing and Mike was considering dance schools. Everything seemed to be happening so quickly to Puck.

Just a few months ago, for example, he was a total man-whore, and now he could only think of building a life with Kurt and their child. He wasn't ready to think about having to choose a lifelong career. His previous dreams of being a Rock-star just seemed childish now, with Smidge on the way. It was unstable as a career choice.

"Hey, Noah?" Kurt sounded concerned and it took Noah a moment to realised that he'd been close to having a panic attack to rival Kurt's. "You don't have to decide now. You have a year or so before you really need to start thinking about your options – and even then it's no biggy if you haven't chosen what you want to do."

And that, right there, is convinced Noah that this thing he had with Kurt was worth walking through hell fire for. It was rare for anyone to support Noah so vehemently – outside of his family – and he appreciated it.

You're gonna save me from myself...