ALEX

We walked into the gym to start warming up for the game and I spotted banners that the school had made for us hanging from the ceiling. I guess they wanted to impress the college scouts, too. The whole team though was looking at the banner in the back. That banner was mine.

It had my picture, my name and my position just like the other banners, but on the bottom corner in small writing it read "Someone only a Erudite nerd would appreciate. I'll always be here for her." I remember teasing him about the Xbox graphics and him promising me on the same night that he would always be there for me, even when everyone said he would leave me the next morning. I wanted to start crying. All those little moments we shared, it really did mean everything to him.

"I wonder who that's from," teased Letty. She came to hug me and so did Lauren and Deena.

"Don't you dare cry right now," said Lauren. "We still gotta win this game." We both laughed and then started warming up.

Somewhere in the middle of warm ups, some members of the JV football team came back to serenade me yet again. It was an old school song, but it was still awesome, "Kiss On My List" by Hall & Oates. I guess Aidan must have told him that I liked old school. One of them appeared on the court trying to sing in front of me, as Tori tried to chase him off. When he finally disappeared another JV boy came back. Until there were several of them in the stands and on the court singing. After a while, Tori just let them stay and finish the song. I swear their dance routines to this song were so much more better.

"This is so romantic," said Jessie. "First the cafeteria and now in here."

"Aw, he's dying for your kiss, Alex," said Deena coming by me. I remember what he told me last night. That I had no idea how much our kiss meant to him. I was starting to get the picture now. It meant everything. In that moment, I almost lost it.

"You better not cry," screamed Lauren as she watched my facial expression.

Hec even brought a toy guitar and tried to pretend like he was rocking out during the guitar solo in the song right in front of me. Malachi, Uriah and Zeke's brother who was a freshman, too like Hec, started dancing like John Travolta by me. I had to roll my eyes. He was just like his brothers.

"Is this the last song, Malachi," I asked as the song was done.

"That I can't say," he said as he kissed my cheek and then ran out with the rest of boys, yelling and screaming.

"Alright, now that that's over, get back to warming up, ladies," shouted Tori.

Shauna came to sing the national anthem for our game. Like all the other times before, the words would display on the scoreboard and I always wondered why. Shouldn't people know the words to our national anthem? I looked down and smiled remembering Eric explaining the historicity of the song.

As soon as the song was over though, Shauna said my name over the mic. I looked up and there on the scoreboard it said "I know Alex got this! She's the only girl worth smiling at." I grabbed one of the coach's clipboards to start fanning my eyes. It was starting to water and I hoped to calm myself down. Eric told me after the first night we slept together, that it was only me he smiled at. Only me.

"I swear if I see a single tear comes out, I'm going to kill him," whispered Lauren which helped me calm down, because the rest of the team started to giggle / laugh too. "You two just had to fight right before this game. Of all games, this game! The college scouts are here at this game!"

As I looked around the gym, we had more people at our game, considering it was on campus and the football game didn't start for another two hours. Even some of the football team was there, which did not help me at all. Why? Because there was Eric.

Tori pointed out the two DU coaches discreetly to Deena, Lauren, and I. Lauren leaned over and said that we should do something to impress them right off the back. When announcing our starting lineup we should take a ball and hit it into the crowd, close to where they are sitting. Tori threw the ball in the air for us and as they announced our names. One by one, we ran and spiked it up into the stands.

It made everyone cheer, our team screamed louder, and the other team looked nervous. Finally I felt myself ease into the game. Maybe that was another one of Lauren's intentions too. To get me to hone my focus on the game.

The first set went by in a breeze. I got in a few service aces which took me by surprise too. The other team made a lot of errors on serving too, which I think was because they were still nervous about our pre-game performance. The first set ended 25-15. The second set was a bit more challenging. I made sure to set the ball to Letty, Deena, and Lauren. Rogue and I got in a couple kills as well. They had us scrambling though, digging and blocking different spots on the court and at the net. They were looking for a weak spot. However, we ended up winning the set 25-20.

During halftime, Aidan came down and said they had to go. He hugged me and wished me good luck. I know Lauren and I got exemption from the football game tonight, but Lauren told Peter and Aidan that we would try to make it there. Eric didn't say anything, but he handed me a piece of paper and then walked out with the guys. Might as well read it now, I thought to myself.

"Even though you might not be there to cheer for me. I know I can look down and you'll always be there. Even though I might not be there to cheer for you, I want you to look down and let me be there for you too."

I folded the paper, tucked it back into my jacket pocket, moved my hair a little, and looked at the number on my jersey. The number that belonged to Eric as well. But I looked beyond that. I was in Eric's heart. Myra was right. He had let me in and he was going to keep me there. And as much as I didn't want to admit it, I wanted to keep him in mine also.

I got two service errors during the beginning of the third set. After my second one, Tori took me out for a quick breather. I sat down on the bench and put on my jacket. I felt the letter in the pocket. Why did I have to read the letter earlier? Why was I allowing him in my mind now? During the game that the DU scouts were here! Come on, Alex, focus. I looked at the score, we were still winning. I looked at Bree who was struggling. I turned my head to look at where Eric and the guys were sitting.

You got this, Alex!

He wasn't there, but I heard his voice ringing in my head. I looked at the scoreboard and the banner and remembered his messages. I looked back down at my jersey. He IS here! He would always be here for me. I smiled and let a tear fall down my cheek. I wiped it away and got up to walk towards Tori.

"I think I'm good now," I said to her. She smiled and nodded and then motioned for the substitution.

Bree thanked me and went to sit down. I looked over at Lauren who told me to put my game face on. I couldn't help but laugh. Typical Lauren. I put in a few good sets to Lauren and Letty and they killed it. It was a hard battle, but we won the third set 28-26, therefore winning the game.

"Kent," called Tori. There with her were the two DU coaches. Deena had just walked away, gave me a smile and threw me thumbs up.

"This is Alexandria Kent, our starting setter. Alex this is Coach Scarlett and Coach Gwen from Divergent University."

"Kent, of course," said Coach Gwen as she extended her hand for me to shake. "That was an impressive game there. You know how to set the ball at just the right place for your hitters. You and Lopez over there were able to read well defensively also."

"Thanks you, ma'am."

"Although I must say I saw you lose your focus a bit during the third set."

"Yes," I said looking away. "I did temporarily lose focus. My team suffered for a bit due to my lapse, but with a great coach," I said looking at Tori. "And an awesome team captain and supportive girls," I said motioning to Lauren and the rest of the team. "I was able to get back up. That's what makes us good. We learn to compensate for the others weaknesses."

"Good answer," said Coach Scarlett.

"Was that a test?"

"Sort of. Most players we speak to make up excuses or blame their team. But you admitted your fault and spoke highly of your team. The same with Lopez and Michaels there. You each have a deep understanding and respect for one another. Besides talent, that's one of the things that we are looking for."

"Well, we do have a great team. And honestly, if it wasn't for Lauren or Deena," I said turning back to look at my team. "Or any of them for that matter. I know we wouldn't have gotten through our first game the way that we did. We wouldn't even get through life the way that we have. And I'm not saying that because the DU coaches are here in front of me. Those girls mean a lot to me, this team means a lot, this sports means a lot. And not just to me, but to all of us. I really appreciate the two of you coming down to give us a look at."

"If all goes well with you folks the rest of the year, and what I mean is grades and of course your behavior, then we'll see you three again soon."

"You're very talented, Kent," added Coach Scarlett. "A little short for my liking, but I think we can make it work. Again as Coach Gwen said besides keeping up all the hard work on the court, we also want to see that in the class. Thank you again for putting on a good performance for us tonight. We will definitely be in touch."

"Thank you," I said again, shook their hands, and then went back to join the rest of the team.

Lauren hurried me out of the locker room. By now it was second quarter of the football game. Shauna asked us how everything went and we explained that it sounded really promising.

Our halftime performance went by easily. I actually felt happy dancing and then I remembered that Eric told me I was more passionate and free when dancing. And I actually did feel free. There were no expectations from my parents or my family to play well, no team counting on me to set the ball, no college scout watching my every move. This was just me being me. I looked at the football team as they ran out for the third quarter. It was Eric who made me realize that about myself. Eric who got me and Aidan to open up to one another. Eric who got me to feel better when I felt like I disappointed my parents. Eric who helped me get through my punishment. Eric who had gave me so much of himself, and yet I was still sitting on the fence between forgiving him and hating him.

Maybe it was pride, pride that refused to let me give in. The pain certainly wasn't as bad as it was two days ago. After he explained everything and all the little apologies here and there today, I didn't feel in pain as much. In fact, it only made me like him more. But I certainly didn't want to just fold.

I could barely pay attention to the game. It was Tris and Myra who had to point out to me every time Aidan had a good play. It was then that I realized he had scouts watching him tonight, too.

I looked up in the stands to see the two men with the DSU letters on their polo shirts.

"That's Coach Barton and Coach Stark from DSU," mentioned Tris.

"I heard they're looking at Four, too," I commented. Tris smiled and nodded. "Were you planning on following Four to DSU when they take him?"

"Yeah. Actually I originally had planned on going to DSU, like my mom. It'll just be a bonus for Four to be there with me. Not to mention my brother might be going there also." I looked down. My brother wouldn't be at DU with me.

Of course they slaughtered the other team. After, I waited back a few feet as I saw Aidan talking with a couple of the DSU coaches. My brother looked happy and as they extended their arm and he shook it, I had to look away to stop myself from crying. Just as I looked away, there was Eric standing right there.

"He played a really good game," Eric said as he stepped closer. "They'd be stupid if they didn't offer your brother a scholarship."

"Yeah," I said looking away.

"Alex," I turned to look at back at Eric who was standing right next to me. "Your brother is always going to be there for you. You know if you ever need anything that he's only a phone call away. And if ever you get in trouble, he'll always fight for you. This is kind of proof," he said as he pointed to a cut on his lip and a bruise under his eye. I couldn't help but smile.

"There you go," he said with a slight smile as his hand ran down my cheek. "Sadness doesn't look good on you."

My mind kept telling me not to, but I found myself pressed up against Eric's chest with his arms wrapped around me and mine around him.

"Please forgive me, Alex," he whispered against my hair. I pulled back a little to look up at him. "I was such a dumb ass to think that you would do something like that and I was an even bigger loser to treat you the way that I did. I should have just asked you, instead of letting my imagination get the better of me. Better yet, I should have just trusted you. I asked you for your trust, but didn't give you much of mine. I'm really sorry Alex. Please just give me that one chance to make it up to you, please Alex."

"I'm not ready for it, Eric," I replied looking down. Why did I start to feel the pain coming back now?

"What do you mean," Eric asked.

"I was so ready Eric, ready to be with you. But now I just don't know anymore."

"You don't know how you feel about me or," Eric started.

"I know how I feel about you Eric. I like you and I want to be with you, too."

"Then, why…"

"Eric, I just can't." Why? Why did my heart start aching now?

I looked back down as he continued to hold me. After a while, I looked up towards Aidan and saw him looking in our direction. The DSU coaches were gone by now. Aidan gave me a weak smile.

"I just need time," I responded turning my attention back to Eric. "Can I just have a little more time?"

"Then I'll wait." He brought me closer and placed a kiss on my neck. "It would be worth it to wait for you," his lips mumbled on my neck. Eric moved his head to look at me, took my hand and placed it over his chest. "While I'm waiting, just to let you know, you're in here." He leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead. "You'll always be in here." He then turned to walk away.

Aidan took a couple steps towards me and without hesitation I ran into my brother's arms. This was supposed to be a happy moment for him. But he let me cry. I told myself last night that I wouldn't cry over Eric. But here I was crying over the guy I hated months ago and ended up caring so much about.

On Sunday much didn't happen. Aidan came by and dropped off some cupcakes from the cafeteria just to see how I was doing. I apologized for taking away from his moment, last night, but he was more than happy to be there for me and let me know that he always would be.

"This really was just a big misunderstanding, Alex. You remember that thing we heard on the radio about assuming?"

"When you assume, you're making an ass out of 'u' and 'me'," I replied to Aidan who smiled.

"I can't believe you let me swear," I said as he started to chuckle.

"It was to get my point across," he responded. "That's what the two of you do to each other. You assume and look where it gets you. I know you're mad, Alex. I'm still a little upset, because of what you're going through. In all honestly, I can say that Eric really does like and care about you. The two of you need to learn to think things through first and..." Aidan said pulling my face to look at him. "Communicate with one another."

Monday morning in first period, there was a little gift bag on my desk, with a package of golden oreo cookies, easy cheese, and a cup of instant noodles from Eric with a note that said No Matter What. I couldn't help but think of that night, I ate cookies with noodles and cheese on top. That was the last night I slept in his arms.

We didn't really talk in classes, but he kept popping in little reminders of our friendship theme here and there.

That night at volleyball practice, it said No Matter What on the scoreboard in the gym. I couldn't help but smile throughout practice. Every ten minutes it would start blinking.

Tuesday, he sent me a text.

Look out your window. - Eric

Right outside my window was white oleanders placed on the green lawn and they said No Matter What.

Wednesday night, while we did a study group for our calculus test. I got up to get a drink of water. When I came back, he arranged the paper clips on the desk in the library to read, yup you guessed it, No Matter What.

"I really would appreciate it if you two just talked already," said Four who was sitting next to me.

"Aw, that's cool," added Zeke. "What does that mean?"

"It means everything," I answered smiling and looking down. I started to zone out and Four threw one of the paper clips at me to get me to wake up.

Thursday I tried to avoid Eric, which was really hard to do. I had him in every class. That night, Aidan sent Will to get and said that our parents were calling. Christina gave Will a smile and I assumed they would be making out, while I was gone.

"So, how was everything," Dad asked over the speaker of Aidan's cell phone when I got into his room.

"It went great. They told me they were planning on taking another quarterback from another high school, since last year my numbers weren't great at all."

I looked up at Aidan. That's right. Last year they didn't play good at all, because Eric started a whole lot of fights.

"However, after they saw me play against Roth High and I tied your record, they wanted me instead. They loved me against Veron High and seen us go 4-0, well 7-0 now and they seen how the team has really come together, so they're giving me a shot!"

Aidan turned to look at me and I smiled.

"That's awesome, son. Just awesome!"

"Is that Aidan," I heard mom call from the back.

"Yeah, looks like he's going to State," our dad shouted back. Aidan's smile got bigger. Just then the door opened and Eric walked in.

"What about Alex," mom shouted again. I didn't even hear the question. My eyes focused on Eric sitting down on his bed. It didn't help to have him staring back at me. Aidan kicked my leg and broke our stare down.

"Alex did good too," Aidan started. "What exactly did the scouts say to you?"

I was glad for the interruption. "They said I did impressive," I said into the speaker phone happily. "They noticed that I lost my focus in the third set and they didn't like that I was short, but they loved how I knew where to place the ball and were totally psyched that I could read the other team well. I had some good blocks," I finished excited to share it with mom and dad.

This was my fourth game and my parents still didn't watch me. Aidan smiled at my enthusiasm. He must have known what I was thinking. But of course my father only picked up one phrase through that all.

"What do you mean you lost focus during the third set?" I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing would come out. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Aidan look at Eric. Eric was looking at me the whole time.

"Alexandria, what happened?" My father sounded a bit disappointed. I looked at Aidan. As he turned to me, I muted his cell phone.

"Told you, it doesn't take much for dad and mom to get disappointed with me." I shook my head and looked away. Aidan grabbed the phone and turned the mute off. He held it to my face and gave me a look that I had to talk.

"Something is going on with a friend at school and..." I turned my head, knowing Eric was still looking at me. "And it was just temporary, Dad. Coach put me back in a couple plays later and we ended up winning the game. I got in a service ace right after I was put in. Seven aces in one night!" I tried to sound more cheerful.

"Well, I'm glad you were able to rally behind your team. But you can't lose your focus for anything, do you understand, Alex?" I nodded. Aidan kicked my leg.

I laughed a little. Of course my dad wouldn't see me nod. "Yes, Dad. I understand."

"But how are things with your friend," I heard mom. I looked up at Eric. "Perhaps you should make sure everything is okay between you and her?" Eric gave me a weak smile as I looked down to hide mine. Of course, my mom wouldn't think it was about a guy and I wasn't about to tell her. "Wouldn't you want to walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light?"

"Helen Keller," I said with a smile.

"Exactly. Talk things out with your friend, sweet pea," I heard my mother call. "She'll always be there for you, no matter what." Once I heard that last phrase I couldn't think anymore about the conversation. I looked up at Eric and he smiled again.

"It was good to hear from you folks," said Aidan.

"Yeah, thanks for calling," I said looking away from Eric.

"We'll be there for homecoming game," said Dad.

"Love you both. We're so proud of you," called Mom.

"Love you too," Aidan and I replied. "See you in two weeks," Aidan said and then hung up the phone. He looked at Eric and then looked at me and smiled.

"I guess I'll leave you two to talk."

Once Aidan went out, Eric stood up, came over, picked me up, and brought me into a hug. "Your mom is right, you know."

"You're still there for me?"

"I'll always be," he whispered and went to kiss my forehead.

"You went to see Emily to have her drop the accusations didn't you?" He froze right before his lips touched my forehead. He took a couple steps back. "What did she want in return Eric?"

"Something from my mom," he answered quickly. There it was again. More secrets about him. I could see how hurt he was though. I walked back up to him, let him wrap his arms around me, and melted into him.

Minutes passed in silence until he finally asked me again.

"Do you still want some time?"

I turned my head turned to look up at him. "Eric it really hurt. I thought I was over it, but sometimes I can't help but feel that I could break again. You gave me so much. You helped me to see, not just my parents, or my brother, or my friends, but myself. You made me feel wanted and happy. And then in one swift move, you took that all away. If I let you have all of that again, are you going to do the same..."

"Alex, that's not going to happen. I'm never going to abandon you. NEVER. Alex, just give me that one chance. That one chance to be with you."

"I want us to be together, Eric," I whispered.

He pulled my head up and got ready to press our lips together, but I pulled away.

"I'm still not ready for that though." He looked at me confused. "I like you Eric, a lot. And I really care about you. But I don't know. I just don't know..."

"You're not ready for a relationship," He answered for me. I nodded. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips against my forehead. "I'll keep waiting then."

That night, I got my third and final music-gram from the JV team. Hec, Malachi, and three other boys were outside mine and Christina's door, dressed up in nice suits. They sang "Wait for You" by Elliott Yamin. I didn't know that, until Christina told me. She was next to me, standing in the doorway, crying as the boys started to lip sync.

"Seriously, Alex," asked Jenn as she came out to check the noise. "Who's the guy? This is so romantic!"

"Don't tell him he's run out of time, Alex," teased Mia.

"If it takes the rest of his life, he'll wait for you," added Giselle as they both mimicked the song. Other girls were starting to come out of their room too.

Just then Malachi grabbed and pulled me out of the doorway. He got down on his knees and actually started singing the song. Really loudly, too.

What will it take to make you come back

Girl I told you what it is and it just ain't like that

Why can't you look at me,

Malachi wrapped himself around my legs. Oh my was he really a clown.

You're still in love with me

Don't leave me crying.

Baby why can't we just start over again?

Malachi released me and made his hands like he was pleading. Points for gestures and enthusiasm, I have to say.

Get it back to the way it was

If you give me a chance I can love you right

But you're telling me it won't be enough

Then all five of them started to sing out loud.

Malachi threw himself backwards and continued to sing as he laid there on the floor.

"Malachi, get up right now," I scolded him. He really acted like Uriah and Zeke.

He started to pretend like he was dying trying to reach for my hand. The second I took his hand, he pulled himself up, handed me a note and then they continued to finish the song with their normal lip singing.

Once it was over, all the girls in our hall clapped and cheered. Several were crying.

"Thank you, ladies, we'll be here all year," said Hec as they walked away.

"Call us," winked Malachi. I shook my head and walked back into the room to read the note.

"I'll wait, because I don't ever want to lose you - Eric"

I started to cry. I desperately wanted to be with Eric. Yet, here I was making him wait! As more tears come down and hid myself more under my blankets, I couldn't help but question why was I so afraid of giving him that chance?