Chapter 17: Gradation

Kiku's eyelids twitched as he began the slow transition of awakening. The pillow he was cuddled against was rather warm, but the sunlight seeping through the shades of the window was bothering him. How odd though, the pillow was harder than he remembered, and it smelled faintly of chlorine. That is absurd. I didn't throw my pillow into the pool… he thought as he slowly opened his eyes in a squint.

They turned to saucers in an instant when he was face-to-face with a slumbering Alfred. Frozen, all Kiku could do was stare wide-eyed at the blonde. His face began to overheat when realization struck him, the realization that Alfred had indeed cuddled his Japanese friend like a teddy bear, possibly the entire night.

His arms were securely wrapped around his torso, with a leg slung over both of Kiku's. He was pressed up against his chest, his head tucked underneath the American's chin. He swallowed hard, not entirely sure how to escape from his embrace. He felt himself begin to sweat, cursing under his breath. He was starting to feel light-headed.

This is so ridiculous. Why does Alfred-san always make me feel this way…? Oh, that's right. Kiku was in love with him. Augh, curses. This is quite a predicament I've gotten myself into…but… He thought about the events that transpired the night prior. …I can live with this, with Alfred-san holding me for comfort if he needs to, anything so I don't have to see such a sorrowful expression on him ever again…

He remembered the once bright blue eyes that paled that night, pouring out tears of sorrow over such a devastating realization. The realization of the family's skeleton in the closet, his criminal father, Louis. He was the bastard who ruined his night, and even perhaps his life, on one of the most important days of Alfred's existence. Kiku hated him. He hated him because he made Alfred cry, cry so hard and for so long until his eyes dried up like a drought would a valley in an unforgiving summer season. He could still hear his sobbing, the heavy sobs, the wavering sobs, as he cried continuously for about a full hour into Kiku's shoulder, dampening the sleeve of his shirt. He really disliked that sob. He hoped he would never have to hear that sound escape his lips ever again.

Though he didn't understand how that led to them both falling asleep in this position on the bed, as the last thing Kiku could remember was the two of them sitting on the floor. He closed his eyes as he continued to lay there, his ear against Alfred's chest. Ba-dump. Ba-dump. His heartbeat was steady as he slept. It was one of the most soothing sounds to Kiku. He loved Alfred's heart. He imagined it golden like the sun, warming everyone with its beams.

But it also pained Kiku. It pained him, because he knew that Alfred's heart would never be his, and he was arrogant to think that maybe one day, he would return the affections. He wanted it so badly, wanting nothing more than to see that sunny grin on his friend's face as he said, "I love you Kiku!"

He closed his eyes as he began to drown in his scent, his warmth, his embrace. He felt a lump in his throat, tears threatening to start up again. Because he knew that no matter how hard he tried to reach for the sun, all he would grasp is air, its vibrant light and warm beams only taunting him throughout the entire endeavor.

Kiku you're so stupid… he told himself. He knew what was best for Alfred, and what that was didn't include being in a romantic relationship with him. He needed to help him cope with the knowledge of his father's villainy, the knowledge of being friends with Manuel, one of the few people able to survive the horrendous man's demons, the knowledge that he was related to such a despicable person. Yes, that's what was best for Alfred, and…perhaps even encourage him to pursue another girl now that Navah was no longer in the picture.

He wished this were a different reality, one that didn't cause Alfred so much pain, and one where his love would be requited.

"I love you…so much…," he mumbled into the fabric of his shirt, a bead of a tear forcing its way out from underneath his eyelashes, tumbling down his cheek. "…Alfred-san."

"Mmphm…"

Kiku's eyes shot open as the blonde began to stir. His heart was beating fast. …did he hear? Oh me and my stupid mouth. I really hope he didn't… Gently he tried to remove himself, but Alfred was strong, and his hold was like that of a crab's. Why does he have to be so built…? I cannot remove myself from here… This is frustrating.

He placed both his hands on his chest, pushing against him to tear himself away from his arms, but it was to no avail. He puffed his cheeks out in irritation until he heard his saving grace, the sound of the alarm on the digital clock begin to beep.

Alfred scrunched his eyes, hating to be awoken by such an annoying sound. He lazily shifted his hand over to the clock, feeling for it on the bedside table, slamming his palm on the button to turn it off. Kiku took this chance to make a run for it, but Alfred was quicker, not liking to have his teddy bear taken from him.

My face will melt off my skull if I stay here like this. I must wake him up. "Alfred-san…Alfred-san…" He poked him in the cheek. "Please wake up. It is morning."

"…jus…jus five more minus…" he slurred.

"Please wake up now. I must use the bathroom and I cannot move from here." …as much as I like cuddling with you, he thought to himself.

The blonde found it strange that his teddy bear was talking to him. "…huh-wha?" His eyes opened slowly. He blinked, rubbing them with a hand. The first thing he saw was the ceiling, but turned his attention down to his left when he felt a weight against him. He was met with a blushing Kiku staring back at him.

"Kiku?"

"G-G-Good morning, Alfred-san. Will you please release me now?"

"Uh…oh, crap." He sat up immediately, letting him go. "Wh-What was I doing?"

"You were cuddling me like a stuffed animal. I'm assuming for the entire night, though I can't even remember how we got here."

"Ah ha… I'm sorry Kiku… You're just…so small and you fit in my arms…"

"Uhm…"

There was silence. Kiku watched as Alfred stared down at the bed sheets in deep thought. He assumed he was recollecting last night's events, if his frown was any indication.

"Alfred-san—"

"I'm okay."

"…"

"…honestly."

"Excuse me for disagreeing, but what happened yesterday isn't something you can be okay with overnight."

"…I just don't wanna think about it too hard right now…"

"I know…but…you still don't look okay."

"…what looks okay to you?"

"A genuine smile with a face beaming like a sun's ray of light. That's what looks normal to me on your face, Alfred-san."

"I'm sorry…"

"Why are you apologizing? You did nothing wrong."

"…I just can't right now… I'm sorry…"

"I know you can't, and that's why I knew you were lying when you said you were fine. I worry about you Alfred-san. You're my best friend, in fact, perhaps the only best friend I've ever had in my entire life, so I will not excuse myself from caring immensely about your well-being, in all variations of the word."

"Hmm," he chuckled. He looked at Kiku, a smile beginning to appear on his lips. "I'm glad you're my best friend. Thank you."

"That is nothing to thank me for."

"Yeah it is. No matter how much I cried and sobbed, you never left me, or told me to calm down. You just stood there, letting me cry on your shoulder for as long as I wanted without even complaining about it. I know it's sorta silly, but that actually meant a lot to me."

His blush began to return. "Y-You're welcome. But perhaps next time, uhm, do not cuddle me like a teddy bear, please?"

"Oh…shit… Uh, ah ha, well I can't promise that but I'll promise to at least try! I couldn't help it. I'm sorry Kiku…"

"…you don't need to apologize for that either. I didn't mind it much… You were a comfort." He looked down, tracing a finger along the creases of the comforter. "…I felt wanted…and I felt protected…" He looked up at him. "You always make me feel that way when I'm around you."

"Uh…" Alfred scratched the back of his head, looking away. "Uhm…ah ha, w-well good! I'd like to think I make people feel wanted and protected!" His cheeks were a bit pink as he looked at Kiku who made an effort to avoid eye contact, his gaze still adverted on the comforter as his face burned with a blush.

"…it is 7am. I will go start breakfast." Kiku got off the bed. "What would you like Alfred-san?"

"…a-anything is fine."

He nodded, and then left the room.

The American decided now was a good time for a shower.

His body relaxed as the cold water cascaded onto his face, slipping to his shoulders, dripping down every muscle and limb. Alfred gave a heavy sigh, running a hand through his wet hair. Images of last night haunted his mind: his mother's and Matthew's horrified faces, Manuel's traumatized reaction as he fled for dear life up the flight of stairs, Antonio's burning rage and murderous intent, shock over all of his friends' faces, the police's intrusion with guns at the ready, his father's sinister grin and soulless eyes.

"Why did this have to happen to me…?"

He grabbed the bottle of shampoo and began to wash his hair, massaging his head in the process. He saw Kiku as he closed his eyes, holding him tightly as he cried into his shoulder. He could still feel his strong grip on him, one arm coiled tightly around his back, the other with a hand tangled in his golden hair.

It was faint, but he remembered seeing tears roll down Kiku's face as he continued to comfort him, saying words that Alfred couldn't quite remember. Something about everything was going to be alright, that he would never leave him, that it was his turn to protect him, that no matter what happened he would always be by his side.

"Kiku…"

Alfred returned to his room and dressed himself. He smelled a delicious waft from the kitchen, and he descended the stairs, a bit excited to finally eat. Consuming his favorite meals or snacks always made him feel better, even if Matthew did tell him eating away your worries doesn't do you any good in the long run. He sat down at the dining room table, watching Kiku busy himself in front of the stove.

He wore the white apron he always did, one that Feliciano gave him for his birthday this past year. Alfred thought he looked cute in it, watching his hands gracefully prepare all their meals, making sure all the food on their plates were neat and tidy.

Kiku looked at him and smiled, Alfred giving a blink and then clearing his throat, an opaque hue of rose on his cheeks. He walked over to him with a plate of breakfast. It was an omelet filled with mushrooms, cheese, spinach, and tomatoes, with a side of pancakes, and two pieces of buttered toast on a smaller plate to the side.

"Would you like milk or some other beverage, Alfred-san?"

"Uh…orange juice is fine…thanks."

He returned with a glass and set it down next to him. "I hope you enjoy your meal."

"I always do Kiku. Your food is delicious. Uhm, are you gonna eat with me?"

"I will shower first, but I am rather quick at that, so I shall join you shortly."

"Okay."

He watched him disappear into the living room, hearing his footsteps going up to the second floor. Alfred ate his breakfast absentmindedly, thinking about nothing but that particular moment in time, the one of last night where Kiku cried with him, trying his best to comfort him, swearing on his parents' graves that he'd never leave Alfred and would support him in everything he did.

Well maybe he was exaggerating as he couldn't remember the exact words, as swearing on a deceased person's grave was a bit too much. Alfred didn't know if he deserved that kind of loyalty from anyone.

"Maybe I should go out today… I don't feel like staying at home…" he said to himself, poking his food. "I wanna talk to Manny but…" He looked at his cell phone, contemplating on whether or not to text his friend. "…maybe I should wait a while."

Alfred had eaten half of his food by the time Kiku returned downstairs. "Would you like some more, Alfred-san?" he asked politely.

"No, I'm good, thanks Kiku."

The Japanese teen sat down next to him. They both ate in silence, the only noise being the scratching of the knives on the porcelain plates and the occasional crunch from the toast.

"…uhm," Kiku began timidly. "…I have work today for a few hours, but…I was wondering if you wanted to hang out afterward, Alfred-san?"

"Actually, I kinda…wanted to be alone… I mean, not that I don't wanna hang out with you but…yeah. I might need some time to myself for a few days." He smiled at him a bit sadly.

"O-Oh, I see. That's quite alright. I understand."

"Thanks though. I promise we'll hang out later, okay? When I'm feeling…eh…more upbeat."

"Of course, yes."

The silence continued until Alfred finished his food and got up to put the dishes in the sink. He washed them and placed them to dry on the dish rack. Kiku followed him as he grabbed the keys from the bowl near the front door.

"…when will you be back?"

"…not sure." He looked over at Kiku, and gave a reassuring smile when he noticed the shorter boy was frowning, looking concerned. "Don't worry buddy. I'll be fine. I'm a Jones after all!"

But he had a hard time trying to convince himself that what he told Kiku wasn't a lie.

Alfred drove to the mall, intent on spending the day alone. Matthew had texted him, as did his mother, but he responded simply with, "I'll be home later. I wanna just wander a bit." Emily had the itch to go after her son, in fear he might make rash decisions, but Matthew reassured her everything would be fine, because if anybody knew the blonde best, it was his twin.

He walked aimlessly, taking a few minutes to sit on a bench near the indoor fountain, his hands in his pockets. He gave a heavy sigh as he stared down at his shoes.

"Alfred?" a familiar voice said to him. He looked up to find Arthur staring down at him, a bookstore shopping bag in his hand.

"Oh, hey Artie. Didn't expect to find you here today."

"There was an in-store sale on a few books so I came to check it out. What are you doing here, if you don't mind me asking?" He figured today wasn't a good day to speak to him in his normal sarcastic and crass manner.

"…just, y'know, hanging out."

"By yourself?"

"Yeah, can't a guy want a day to just be by himself…?" he asked a little irritated, a pout appearing on his face.

"Yes, of course. What? Why are you glaring at me like that?"

"Isn't this when you'd usually make some smartass remark about me or something?"

"Do you really want to get into an argument with me right now?"

"…no."

"That's what I thought."

Alfred slunk lower into the bench, still looking rather peeved. Arthur shook his head and gave a faint smile. "How long have you been here?"

"…dunno. Probably 'bout two hours…just walking around. Well actually the first hour I went to the park but then I got bored so then I came here and yeah…"

"Would you like to join me for lunch then?"

"…why?"

"I can hear your stomach growling."

"Eh heh…yeah…I guess so…"

He followed the Briton to one of the few restaurants in the mall, choosing to sit at a patio table so he could watch people come and go. Arthur occasionally looked up from his menu as Alfred nibbled on the straw absentmindedly, his hand supporting his chin as he looked at the mall-goers, staring off into space.

I want to ask him if he wishes to talk about it but I know it'll only make him upset… Arthur thought to himself. I can't get my mind off of what happened yesterday. To think all this time, his father was such a despicable man, when Alfred himself isn't at all like that. And then poor Manuel… He sighed softly to himself, looking over the menu. Augh, I really feel like I should say something but it'll probably only end with us bickering like always.

"—and for you Arthur?"

"What?" He looked up and saw Toris waiting on him, his pen and pad ready. "O-Oh, I'm terribly sorry Toris…"

He gave a smile. "It's fine. What would you like?"

"Eh…I'll just have…the ham and cheese sandwich."

"Mm, okay. Would you like a soup or a salad?"

"Soup is fine, thank you." He handed him the menu. Toris noticed the glances he sent behind him.

"Francis isn't working today, Arthur."

His cheeks reddened a bit. "I-I-I wasn't…I-I don't know what you're talking about."

Toris couldn't suppress a chuckle. "Well then, I'll be back soon with your soup."

Huffing, Arthur sipped more of his iced tea, hoping the redness in his face would go down. Alfred raised an eyebrow. The other only continued to blush, the color deepening when he noticed the American was staring at him.

"What?"

"…do you like Francis, Artie? I know people've always joked 'bout it but man…I haven't seen anybody that red before, except for Kiku."

"N-No that is completely absurd!"

"Heh heh, okay, whatever y'say then!"

"Whatever," he said in a haughty tone, clearing his throat. "S-So…"

"Soooo?"

"…nothing."

Arthur had been feeling conflicted for a while whenever it came to Alfred. He wanted to deny that he may have feelings for the blonde oaf, but it didn't help his internal struggle whenever he'd get nervous around him during unexpected moments of mutual tranquility when it was just them. Only recently did he decide that yes, maybe he did kind of sort of see Alfred that way, but he knew better than to fantasize about their relationship beyond friends. As obnoxious and loud as he may be, he had desirable qualities of appearance and personality that he was sure many friends, and potential love interests, fancied about him.

Then there was Francis who frustrated him to no end, always mocked him and was usually the cause of his foul mood on most days. He thought he would be happy when Francis stopped bothering him, stopped irritating him to dangerous levels, stopped breathing the same air as him…and yet, he felt very uncomfortable with the distance. Francis didn't even bother to make small talk with him if he caught him somewhere in public. It's almost as if he missed him.

But he attempted to deny that too.

"Uh…"

Alfred's voice prompted Arthur to look up at him. He noticed his eyes were a bit wide, his facial features morphing themselves to paint a very confused, and shocked, expression.

"What's wrong?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"…did…did y'know you were thinking out loud to yourself just now?"

Arthur stared at him, eyes large like dinner plates, his face paling. "…I…what…?"

"You were thinking out loud. Wh-What's this about you…uh…liking me more than a buddy ah ha ha?" he asked awkwardly with a nervous smile to match.

For a good two minutes, the other couldn't respond. Even when Toris brought him his soup, he still didn't budge. Growing concerned, the Lithuanian shook him lightly on the shoulder. "Arthur? Arthur?"

He slammed both hands down on the table, standing up and shrieking, "That was a while back! Pretend you heard NOTHING! I am not a homosexual nor do I have feelings for you! Is that clear?!"

Other patrons stared at their table, passerby glancing at the flustered British teen as he glared at Alfred, who only sat there, still completely dumbfounded.

"A-Arthur please sit down!" Toris begged. "I don't want to have to ask you to—!"

Pulling out money from his wallet, he handed the bills to the bewildered brunette. "This should cover our meal I'm sure! I'm going to take my leave now Toris as I have many errands to run before I return home! Thank for you being a hospitable waiter!"

He grabbed his bag of books and then exited the restaurant as quickly as he could. Alfred just stared after him. He could see Arthur fuming, making frustrated hand gestures as he spoke to himself all the way to the other side of the mall, he was sure, somewhere far where he didn't have to see the American for a few hours.

Gradually the patrons resumed their lunches, some of their conversation topics switching to the relevance of what they just witnessed.

"…I'm not really sure what just happened," he said as he continued to stare absentmindedly into the distance.

"I'm not sure either Alfred…"

He focused back to his food. "Guess I'm eating lunch by myself then."

"I'm sorry Alfred."

"What's there to be sorry about? Artie's always been explosive like that."

"But what he said…"

He shrugged it off, dragging the soup bowl towards his side of the table. "Eh, like I told Kiku, I don't care which of my friends are straight, and which of my friends are gay." He blew the steam away from some of the soup, setting the spoon in his mouth. Satisfied with the taste, he continued. "I mean, I liked all of you waaaay before high school, so…I don't see you any different. Uh, even if…one of the guys happens to like me in that way. Ha ha, like Herc said, it's flattering to know I'm attractive to both chicks and dudes!"

Toris smiled. "Yes, you do have a point. But I have to ask, are you going to eat Arthur's food too because I can't cancel it now since it's almost finished."

"Mm, can ya take a lunch break? I was planning to spend the day by myself but…left to my own thoughts, I don't think that's such a good idea." He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "I just didn't want to be home I guess."

"Well my shift is almost over—"

"Great! You can help me eat this food then!"

"Oh but Alfred—"

"I'm sure your boss won't mind, right?"

"…I guess not. I mean it's already been paid for…" He looked to the side in thought, then glanced at Alfred with a smile. "Well then, alright, I'll keep you company."

"Thanks Tor!"

"So then why didja work today if you have the rest of the week off?"

"Huh? Oh…well I just grew bored in my house, and I honestly didn't feel like shopping everywhere with Feliks. Besides, restaurants in a place like this with a lot of customers can always use a helping hand, right?"

"Yeah but do you at least get paid?"

"Of course! My boss really appreciates hard workers. Uh, oh! Thank you for inviting me to eat with you Alfred. I actually planned to not have a lunch break today so I didn't have to work all throughout the afternoon, so it was nice to get off a little early, even if it was a few minutes difference."

"No problem buddy!"

The two walked around the mall after Toris managed to change out of his work uniform in the bathroom. Like Arthur, he had an itch to speak about what happened the day prior, but he felt it was disrespectful.

"Something wrong Tor? You got quiet all of a sudden."

"I'm fine Alfred," he reassured with a smile, but the other didn't buy it.

"It's because of yesterday, isn't it?"

"N-No that's not—"

"Really, it's okay. I had a feeling that's why Artie invited me to eat lunch with him, 'cause he usually never does that, nor is he so nice about it." He looked at Toris. "That's actually why I planned to be alone today. I wanted time to think, but the more I thought, the angrier I got, the more I wish I could've…" He sighed angrily, a scowl on his face as he looked at the floor. "I hate everything that man chose to be. I hate that he's my father. I hate that he left mom, Matt, and I…and I hate what he did to those poor little kids, especially to Manny. I hope he rots in Hell."

He had never heard Alfred speak with such a loathsome tone in his voice.

"Is there anything I can do to help? I'm sorry, I just got concerned is all. Ah ha, I didn't mean to bring back those emotions."

"No, it's okay Tor." He sighed, his anger beginning to simmer down. "I just want the trial to come sooner than later so that asshole can be locked away forever, or even executed. I don't fucking care which one, so long as he gets what he deserves."

So much hate he has. As understandable as that is, it's hard to imagine Alfred hating anybody that much to the point where he even wishes death upon them. But I wouldn't know what it's like to have a parent like that, so I shouldn't be that surprised. "Alfred, would you like ice cream?"

"Oh boy, would I!"

His mood suddenly shifted. Toris smiled. He's like a puppy. "Good, because I have a coupon for a sundae at the ice cream parlor on the second floor. There's a bakery right next to it too, so we can choose which desserts we—"

"Why not the best of both worlds?" he grinned.

The two friends ended up sharing a rather large sundae, but ordering separately for baked goods. Toris got a bag of cookies, but Alfred managed to consume not only a dozen assorted cookies, but a pie slice, a cheesecake slice, and a brownie.

"Alfred, you bought more?" Toris asked, clearly amazed at his bottomless stomach.

"Huh? Oh these aren't for me!" he said, patting the large box. "This is for mom and Matt. I got them each a few slices of their favorite pie."

"Then what's the other one for?"

"Oh this? This box is for Kiku."

"Kiku?"

"Yeah, he really likes the sweets here, especially the ones shaped like bunnies, so I figured, why not!"

Toris smiled. "That's cute."

"What is?"

"That you're always thinking about Kiku. Aside from work, I rarely see you without him somewhere nearby."

"That's 'cause he's my best friend! I never stop thinking 'bout him." Toris blinked, making Alfred realize his sentence was worded awkwardly. "Uh…w-well y'know what I mean! Like…like he's close to me, maybe even as close as I am with Matt!"

"Of course," he replied with another smile, pretending to ignore the rose-tinted cheeks on the American's face.

Alfred returned home around 10pm, sighing happily as he closed the front door and set the keys in a bowl. Emily walked up to him and worriedly asked, "Alfred where were you?! All three of us have been trying to call you for hours!"

"Eh? Oh uh, I'm sorry mom! My phone died and I forgot to bring the car charger." When she didn't relax, he continued. "I was by myself in the morning. I didn't feel like talking to anybody, but then I met Artie at the mall. We were gonna have lunch buuut then things got…er, awkward."

"Awkward?"

"Yeah, we were waiting for our food and Arthur didn't know he was thinking out loud so I heard something I'm pretty sure he never wanted anybody else to know."

"…and that was the awkward bit?"

"Well I mean yeah. How else were we both supposed to feel when he said he sorta liked me as boyfriend material?"

That got Kiku's attention immediately. "Arthur-san…said that…?" Matthew glanced over at the smaller teen with curiosity.

"Yeah, he did, but when I told him he was thinking out loud, he got so pissed and embarrassed that he hightailed it outta there. He said bye to Toris but not me." He pouted. "I don't know why he's all bothered though. It's not like I like him back that way. Eh, but I should probably tell him that in person or something. I don't want it to be awkward forever, 'cause I already know that's how it is with him and Francis."

"So you noticed too," Matthew said.

"Mm. He thought out loud about that too." He set down the dessert boxes on the kitchen island. "But they're both stubborn and if I do anything Arthur will just get upset and Francis will just ignore me. Guess this is just something they gotta work out themselves."

Emily sighed. "But then where were you the rest of the day?"

"Oh, hanging out with Toris! After his shift ended, we walked around the mall for a bit, then went over to his house for some movies! I'm glad I had company today. Being lonely wasn't all that great, but I wasn't sure if I wanted all that leisure time to think about…stuff…" He chuckled softly. "Eh but, being around Toris makes me comfortable! He's a really good friend. I can see why he has like, a fan following with Feliks, Raivis, and Eduard, ha ha!"

Kiku felt a pang of jealousy.

"Oh that reminds me, we're gonna go see a movie tomorrow! So I'll probably be gone for most of the afternoon. Is that okay with you mom?"

"Sure honey, but be back for dinner, alright?"

"Yeah!" He looked at the pastel box on the island. "I brought you guys some sweets from the dessert shop at the mall."

At the word 'dessert', Emily immediately calmed down, walking over. "Ooooh, how sweet! Ah! There's pie in here! Mattie, there's some for you too!"

"…mom you didn't think Al brought that giant cube just for you…did you?"

"No of course not!" she said, already setting the pie onto a plate.

"Sure…"

Alfred laughed at his family, then handed Kiku the smaller box. "This is for you!"

"For…me?"

"Yeah! They're those assorted cookies that you like, and I bought a few of the bunny shaped ones for good measure! I know those are your favorite."

Kiku opened it, the deliciously sweet smell caressing his nose. "Alfred-san, I don't know wh-what to say. I wasn't expecting this."

"Aww buddy. Well I always think about you when you're not with me y'know."

His cheeks reddened a bit, Alfred taking notice, feeling a little shy himself. "S-So don't worry about it, okay?"

"Y-Yes…"

"Anyway…" he yawned, stretching. "I think I'm gonna hit the hay. I have a feeling I'm gonna sleep in tomorrow. Night mom, Matt!"

They waved at him with smiles and stuffed faces of pie.

"Uh uhm…!" Kiku began as Alfred ascended the stairs. "…w-would you like to play some…some video games with me tomorrow?"

"When I get back from the movies with Toris, yeah 'course!"

"Oh, yes, that's fine then. Good night Alfred-san."

"Night Kiku!"

He stood at the foot of the staircase staring at his box, thinking. Arthur-san had a crush on Alfred-san? This…shouldn't surprise me but… And he spent all day with Toris-san. Oh but of course he did Kiku, he's a good friend of Alfred-san's as well! Don't get greedy! You're not his only friend! He sighed. …though I don't know why this troubles me so. If Arthur-san really did feel that way, is it possible that others might also…? No but, Alfred-san has a preference for girls, that I am certain of. Ugh, then why am I so bothered by this news?

Being the last one to go to bed, Kiku ate some of his cookies in silence, still feeling grateful that Alfred brought him back something from his outing. I shouldn't be having these thoughts but…but just having the suspicion that he might…augh. No, that will give me a false sense of hope. But knowing what I know now, and how he reacted when Arthur-san unwillingly confessed to him, if I were to tell him also that I…well, that I feel strongly for him, that I love him…would he still want to be my friend?

He gripped his glass of milk tightly in his hand.

Or will he never want to have anything to do with me ever again?

A/N: This chapter wasn't supposed to take this long to be released, but I wrote half of it not knowing where I was going to take this next development. Eh so, that's why there was like a two month pause in between my updates. Writer's block is always to blame, but then so is my laziness and procrastination problem. I also got distracted by Animal Crossing: New Leaf, role-playing on Twitter, ended up going to an anime convention, and two Disneyland theme parks. Yeah. My summer has been sort of busy I suppose. I've also been trying to get more anime/manga titles under my belt before the new academic semester starts, so luckily with effort, those two months I didn't update I managed to finish the Sword Art Online, Blue Exorcist, and Karneval anime. Mm, then I'm keeping up with the current on-going titles like Attack on Titan and Free! so there's that, not to mention Dangan Ronpa, although I don't think I can handle the massive character deaths again in anime form. I think I'm good with just the playthrough... Character deaths really affect me most of the time so. YEAH. I managed to recover by watching the Fairy Tail anime on Hulu, but then that series unexpectedly made me cry in just about every story arc... It wasn't supposed to be sad this isn't what I asked for.

Regardless, I would recommend Attack on Titan if you haven't already been convinced elsewhere to watch it, or read the manga if you want to get ahead like I did. It's really good but expect to see characters dropping like flies in gruesome ways by horrific giant monsters. Fairy Tail is also nice with similar concepts and art like One Piece. That reminds me I never finished Rave Master but I can't find the manga volumes in stores anymore and I forgot the chapter where I left off and pretty much the entirety of the story... Poop.

So now I'm going to go ahead and continue with the manga adaptions of Blue Exorcist, Karneval, and Fairy Tail, as well as other well-known titles that I keep procrastinating on -cough Bleach and One Piece cough-, since I have about a week left before fall semester starts, and God knows with all the drawing that entails, I won't have as much leisure time for fanfictions or anime-watching and manga-reading. I should probably watch Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood too... I never did finish that title...or Soul Eater. I'm behind...but I think with Magi I'm good. Did anything new happen in Hetalia because the last thing I remember is watching the dubbed version of the movie. All of these titles are getting me sidetracked and I'm falling behind on basically all of them.

Shit. This is the life of an anime fan, forgetting where you stopped reading/watching something and then having the urge to continue multiple titles all at once.

Yet again my Author's Notes got longer than I intended. Er anyway, yeah, I don't know when the next update will be but hopefully soon! Also, I added my public Twitter account on my profile if you ever want to contact me (or recommend another anime ah ha ha), since that's about the only website I use as I don't frequent the internet as much anymore. Just be warned I'm a big stupid dork on there.

Until the next update!