IX: Infatuation
Herro!
"So A-Ally-"
"Austin, there's something I wanna ask you. How'd you find me?" I questioned.
"Oh, Trish called me." he simply answered. I sighed. "Relax, Ally. Everything is gonna be alright." he assured me. "I'm just worried." I spoke. "About what?" Austin sat down beside my bed.
I sighed. "About, you know, college." I bit my lip, lying. "You're lying." Austin saw through me. "How'd yo-"
"I spent a lot of time with you."
I pursed my lips. "Why don't you tell me what's wrong?" Austin held my gaze.
"I-I don't...I'm not sure if I want to go to college." I worryingly moved my hair to the side. "Ally, whatever you want to do, I support you. I really do. But I don't think that not going to college is something I support." he took my hands.
I huffed. "Austin, I've decided-"
"Als, I don't want you to be like me in life. I want you to be successful and happy." Austin said. "I've decided, Austin. It's what I want to do!" I whined. "Can we please change the unhappy subject please?" Austin asked. "Fine." I pouted. "Aww, don't be like that. I'm sorry." he booped my nose. I smiled. "There's the Ally I know." Austin smiled. "Austin, there's something I wanna be able to tell you..." I said, noticing him smile. "You know you could talk to me about anything, right?" he shrugged. "Um, you may get upset, but I'm so sorry. I want you to know that I love you. So, so, much." I grasped his hands.
"And I love you too." I shook my head violently. "You may not after you hear this." I muttered. "Um, just know that I love you, no matter what. Okay, here I go," I took a deep breath.
"I...was raped."
He had a anguished expression on his face. His hands let go of mine. "...I thought you loved me!" he shouted. I got up. "I do!" he shook his head. "I-look, Austin, these things happen! When they do, it's up for the loved ones to make the victim feel better!" he sniffled. He couldn't, wouldn't look me in the eye. "I am so sorry, Austin. I just-I thought you would understand!" my voice was breaking. "Do you even love me? I just-Don't even lie to me." Austin's eyes were red. "I love you so much, Austin! Just don't think any less of me." I yelled. "I need some air." Austin held his forehead, heading out the door.
He slammed the door, I ran beside the door, looking out the window.
"Austin, calm down, please!" Trish shouted.
"She loves you, only, you are oblivious. Ally would never, ever do that to you. She loves you so much!" Dez grabs him by the shoulders.
"We all know that that's bull...she wouldn't do that unless she wanted to!" Austin yelled. "Let's just sit down and let's talk." Trish spoke in a calming tone.
"Bullshit! It's all bullshit. She intentionally did that to me." Trish and Dez pushed him toward my room and opened the door. Austin was trying to shove Trish and Dez off. "Austin!" Trish snapped her fingers. "Calm down." Trish then said. They sat him down on the bed and sat down with him. "Ally, come and sit, please." Dez pleaded.
I was scared. I sat down next to them, avoiding Austin's eyes at the moment.
"I-"
"Look, don't even talk to me, alright?" Austin was stabbing my wounded heart. I was on the verge of crying my eyes out.
"Austin, please...listen to her." Trish looked him in the eyes, intimidating him with her meaningful eyes.
"...Austin, I'm so sorry. I really am. But you have to face the truth, that I can't control the other people around the world. I'm very sorry. The truth is, I was in love with you since the moment our eyes met. I want to question you, are you in love with me?"
"Ally, I am." Austin still wouldn't meet my eyes. "Austin, you can't keep hiding from the truth. I-"
"Stop. Please."
"You don't have to apologize anymore." he said.
"I love you-"
"Stop. All of this, please, stop." Austin was steamed.
He left the room, slamming the door.
I was about to cry.
"Wow." Trish said.
"Ally, we're really sorry. If there's anything we could d-" Dez was interrupted when I shook my head vigorously.
I cried silently in my hands, Trish and Dez comforting me. "I thought he loved me. Guys, how could I be so gullible?" I weeped. "Austin does love you. I see the way you guys look at each other...I was wrong. He is a sentimental young man. You guys deserve to be together." Trish rubbed my back to make me feel better.
I was sitting on my couch.
I'm glad to be back in my safe little dorm. I heard someone knock and enter the door. His vanilla scent ticked me off.
"Hey." Austin smiled. I was silent. I had no words to say to him. "Oh c'mon, Als, talk to me again." he sat next to me. I felt like crying because my world came crashing down. "Fine. Don't talk to me. I know what'll cheer you up." I crossed my arms.
"I hang up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush.
'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much, just too much.
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you.
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know...
Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we could be
Where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love? Is this really just another crush?
Do you catch your breath, when I look at you? Are you holding back, like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying, trying to walk away
But I know this crush
Ain't going
Away...
Going away...
Has it
Ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time, girl
And we're just friends
Is there more, is there more?
See, it's a chance we gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make this into
Something that will last forever,
Forever...
Do you ever think
When we're all alone
All that we could be
Where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love? Is this really just another crush?
Do you catch your breath, when I look at you? Are you holding back, like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying, trying to walk away
But I know that this crush
Ain't going
Away...
Going away...
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you.
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know...
Do you ever think
When we're all alone
All that we could be
Where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love? Is this really just another crush?
Do you catch your breath, when I look at you? Are you holding back, like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying, trying to walk away
But I know that this crush
Ain't going
Away...
Going away..."
He sang to me. He sang to me!
"You really think that a song would glue my heart back together?" I crossed my arms. "Yeah, kinda hoping so." he bit his lip, which was so attractive by the way.
"Yeah, no. Austin, you really hurt my feelings."
"Oh, c'mon. Please talk to me." he pleaded.
"Ally, I'm really sorry. I should've considered your feelings. I was being self-conceited, and I'm so sorry. Please forgive me." he begged.
I sighed. "Austin, I-"
"I love you so much. I imagine my life without you, and I-I just-it was too painful to think about. You're beautiful, and I made a mistake. I need you, Als. I just act on impulse sometimes, and because of that, I hurt the ones I love. You just mean so much to me, I couldn't think about my life without you. I'm sorry, I truly am."
I just grabbed him by the collar and pulled him in a heated kiss.
"Words can't even describe how much I love you." he whispered. "I wish I could've given you more." I sighed. "How can you, when you've already given me everything I've ever imagined?" Austin pulled me into another sweet kiss.
"We'll figure this out together, we always do." Austin encouraged me. "Austin, I'm so scared." I looked at him in the eyes. "We'll make it, I'm sure." he said. "Austin, high school graduation is tomorrow."
Austin stared at me, fully engaged to our conversation. "Yeah," he chuckled, looking around. "This is our last night here. Hard to believe it." he finished. "But we missed the finals!" my heart started to thump. "But we're graduating. And there's nothing you could do about that." he cuddled with me.
"I guess you're right." I smiled.
"When am I not?" Austin joked. "Stop it." I giggled.
"Do you think I should get an abortion when the time comes?" I asked suddenly.
"If you wanna. It's not my child, not my decision." I guess he was right.
My wounded shoulder was encroached with a cast. I guess things couldn't go worse for me. At least, for now.