AN: I finally finished writing this one. After this, there's only one more chapter and an epilogue to go. (No promises about babies.)
Si: Yes. Pie.
PerlogAnnwyl: Yay :). I don't know when it will be out yet; I'm getting a proof copy within the next few days and if I'm happy with it, I can publish it. You'll definitely hear it when that happens.
Also, thank you all for the congratulations on my book :D. I'm really excited!
23.
She was opening up to him, he could tell – a little more every day. It made him happy that she felt comfortable enough with him to do that.
She was still insecure about herself; especially her skin. She was always reluctant to show him more skin than strictly necessary, but he liked to think that he was helping her get over that. She talked to him more, although she saved the political discussions for her conversations with his father and grandfather – thank Oz, because if there was anything Fiyero was not good at, it was having political discussions.
"You know?" Cyara said once, shaking her head. "I'm really glad we have Elphaba to rule the Vinkus, because if it had been just you – or if your wife had been any less smart than she is – we'd have had a huge problem."
"Thanks, sis," Fiyero said sarcastically.
"Don't you agree?" she asked her grandfather, who just came into the room.
Kevon nodded, eyes twinkling. "Oh, definitely."
"Fiyero will just be sitting on that throne, looking pretty," Cyara continued, "while Elphaba takes care of all the things ruling a province really is about. But hey, that's okay. The people who just sit and look pretty are important, too. You know, for the image of the Vinkus."
"Don't tease your brother," Humberto chided as he came into the room, Elphaba following close behind.
"Oh, no," the young witch said immediately. "By all means, tease your brother all you want."
Cyara grinned at her. "I like you," she declared.
"I don't," Fiyero grumbled. Elphaba made wide eyes at him and pouted slightly – where did she learn how to do that?! He suspected Galinda's influence was involved. In any case, it made him decidedly uncomfortable and when she made her lower lip tremble, he gave in. "Okay, okay! I like you!"
"Is that all?" she asked in a small voice.
He cringed at the mere sound. "Fine. I love you. Happy now?"
She grinned at him and Cyara said in amazement, "You have got to teach me how to do that!"
Elphaba chortled. "Ask Galinda for lessons the next time she's here," she suggested. "She told me that look would come in handy sometimes. Who could have guessed that she was right?"
Fiyero grumbled under his breath and his wife crossed the room to kiss his cheek. "I love you, too, Yero."
That melted him immediately and he wrapped his arms around her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder. "Have you talked to Galinda lately?"
She nodded. "We've been writing a lot," she said. "She's been spending a lot of time in Munchkinland with Boq and his family, but she wants to come visit us soon."
"Of course," Humberto said warmly. "Tell her we'll be glad to have her."
Elphaba smiled. "I will."
"I think we're going to have other visitors, too," the king said, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "Due to everything going on with the Banns and the Wizard..."
"Who?" Cyara asked curiously and Humberto grimaced.
"Frexspar and Nessarose, for one," he said, at which Elphaba made a face. "Some general from the Glikkus, too, and a representative of Gillikin. There are some things they want to talk about with us and of course we hope to convince the Glikkus to join our cause."
"Can I be there?" Elphaba asked eagerly.
Fiyero suppressed a sigh.
"Just because I want to be there, doesn't mean you have to be there," she told him and this time he did sigh – with relief.
She rolled her eyes. "Hopeless. Absolutely hopeless."
"Actually, I think it would be good for Fiyero to join this meeting as well," Kevon chimed in. "He could learn a lot from it."
Fiyero groaned. "Do I have to?" he asked, sounding like a whining child.
"Yes," his father, grandfather, and wife all said at the same time.
"You can ask him now, when he comes," Fiyero said when he and Elphaba were walking through the hallways after that conversation. "Your father, I mean. About your mother."
She bit her lip. "If she loved me?"
He nodded and took her hand. "You don't have to, of course, but... if you want to. Maybe it would help you to know the answer."
"And what if the answer isn't what I want it to be?"
"I really don't think you have to worry about that," he said honestly, "but if it is... maybe it'll help you to think of the fact that even though your family did not love you when you were younger, you have a family who loves you now. And not just my family, either – I know Galinda loves you like a sister and I genuinely think that at least Nessarose loves you as well."
She bit her lip so hard that she tasted blood and Fiyero cupped her face, gently prying her lower lip from between her teeth and running his thumb over it.
"It's going to be fine," he said softly. "I'll come with you if you want me to."
She nodded and he pulled her in for a hug.
"Elphaba," Frexspar Thropp said, inclining his head slightly.
Elphaba nodded back. "Father."
It was awkward, she thought, but not as cold as it had been between them before. Frex took her in and then said, "You look well."
"I do?" She didn't think she did. She was still slightly hunched over because of the wound near her ribcage and she had been pretty tired lately. Despite everyone telling her that it was not her fault, she couldn't shake the image of the man she had killed and nightmares about the event sometimes woke her in the middle of the night.
Not that she had told anyone about that, of course. Fiyero was, thankfully, a light sleeper, and so he usually didn't notice her shooting up in the bed with sweat beading on her forehead and her heart pounding in her throat.
"You do," Frex said, pulling her back to the present. "You... you look... happy."
That was probably a look he hadn't seen on her before, Elphaba thought wryly. She didn't say that, though. She just said, "I am."
Frex nodded again.
The awkward moment was broken when Nessa came wheeling into the room, a brilliant smile lighting up her face when she laid eyes on her sister. "Fabala!"
"Nessie!" Elphaba hurried over to the younger girl and bent down to hug her tightly. "I've missed you so much!"
"I missed you, too," Nessa said with a small smile. "I haven't been lonely, though. Galinda and Boq have been spending a lot of time in Munchkinland together and they took me out to go and do fun things together, and I've made a few new friends, too! I'd love for you to meet them someday!"
"Next time I come to Munchkinland," Elphaba promised, although neither girl knew exactly when that would be.
"Let's get you settled, Nessa," Fiyero said as he came into the room, carrying two suitcases. He set them down on the floor. "I'll go grab the rest of your things."
"No, you're not," Elphaba said immediately. "Is it really that hard for you to accept that your knee needs time to heal? Just because you can walk normally again, doesn't mean you can go around running up and down stairs, dancing around rooms, carrying suitcases – or, Oz forbid, carrying me – in order to try and prove to everyone that you're a "real man" and that pain does not affect you!"
Nessa stifled a giggle with her hand and Fiyero glared at his wife. Elphaba just raised an eyebrow and stared him down until he gave in with a grumble.
She smirked. "I'll show you to your room, Nessa."
"I'll do that," Fiyero interjected swiftly, taking the handles of Nessa's chair. He gave Elphaba a meaningful look. "I believe you have something to discuss with your father."
She frowned at him. "Are you doing this on purpose?"
He chuckled and kissed her cheek. "No. But I know you, and the sooner you get this out of your system, the better." He glanced at her in mild concern. "Unless you want me to stay with you while you do this..."
"No, it's fine," she assured him. "I have to do this by myself."
He nodded and pushed Nessa's chair from the room, giving Elphaba and Frex some privacy.
She sighed and turned to face her father with hanging shoulders. He looked at her with a mix of confusion and curiosity.
"Elphaba?" he asked when she didn't say anything. "What do you want to talk to me about?"
She slowly sank down into an armchair. Her father did the same, looking at her expectantly.
"The other day," she began, "Fiyero and I were talking about... about my childhood. And my family."
Her father nodded.
She took a deep breath. "I told him that you hate me because it's my fault that Mother died and that Nessa is crippled," she blurted out.
She didn't look at him. She kept her eyes trained on her hands, which were resting languidly in her lap, as she threw out the one thing she had never said to him. The one thing she had always known, but had never confronted him with.
When the silence stretched on for what felt like hours, she finally, cautiously, raised her gaze. Frex was staring at her, all the colour drained from his face.
"You..." he croaked. He cleared his throat and then tried again. "Is that what you have been thinking all these years? That it's your fault that your mother..." He couldn't even finish that sentence. "That I hate you?"
She blinked, genuinely taken aback. "Don't you?"
"Elphaba..." He shook his head. Suddenly he didn't look like her stern, hard father anymore. His shoulders slumped and he looked softer and older, somehow.
"I never hated you," he said quietly. "It is true that I was... shocked... by your skin colour when you were born. Perhaps I did let myself be too distracted by that to see the rest of you underneath. I may not have loved you as much as your mother did, but I did love you, Elphaba. I still do," he admitted with difficulty, not looking her in the eye. "And I am sorry that you have been under the impression that I hated you for all these years."
She was completely stunned. Her hands were shaking and she stuck them between her knees, not wanting Frex to see. "So..." Her voice was trembling, too, which she hated. "So Mother... she did love me?"
"Of course she did," Frexspar said, looking genuinely surprised at the question. "You were her world. She never really did see your skin... she saw everything else, everything you were and would become, but she hardly noticed your skin." He sighed. "No-one was happier than she was when you were born, and no-one was more upset with me for not treating you better. Maybe... maybe she was right."
He fell silent. Elphaba didn't know what to say. She bit her lip, trying to process all this new information that turned around everything she had once assumed to be the truth.
"I don't blame you," she said quietly after a while. "For... for not looking past my skin. Not many people ever have."
"Not many people are your father," Frex countered, rubbing his forehead tiredly. "I know I have made many mistakes with you. I had an image in my head of how my life, our life, would be... Melena and I and our perfect children. When you came, you did not stroke with that picture in my head and I could not get past that. I never wanted to make my own child feel like she was not loved. I never wanted to make my wife, whom I loved more than life itself, resent me because I could hardly even look at our own daughter..." He trailed off. Elphaba had never seen him like this before.
"I'm sorry," he said, looking up and meeting her gaze.
She nodded slowly, fighting back tears. "It's alright."
He looked at her. "It's not your fault," he said, so quiet she almost didn't hear him. "It was never your fault. It... it was mine."
She opened her mouth, but he shook his head.
"I made a lot of bad decisions," he said tiredly. "A lot of mistakes. Those are my burden to bear. But I don't want you thinking that what happened to your mother and sister was your fault."
She couldn't even move. She just looked at him for a long time and then whispered, "Okay."
He nodded.
She swallowed and bit her lip again before suddenly rising to her feet.
"I'm going to see if Nessa needs anything," she choked out before hurrying out of the room to prevent Frex from seeing the tears she could suddenly no longer hold back.