Chapter 23: A Rock and A Hard Place

New Year's Eve was mostly uneventful for Kiku. After the mistletoe mishap, he kept to himself, taking the time to observe how much more confidentially Mei spoke with Alfred, even following him around sometimes like a duckling would its mother. Worried about his welfare, Matthew took it upon himself to keep Kiku company whenever possible, even though the latter said he was fine.

The clock had struck twelve, and everybody wished each other a Happy New Year, shouting at the top of their lungs and hugging. Some made resolutions, and others decided it was a waste of time. Kiku took pictures of everybody, smiling as he looked through them on his camera's gallery. He sighed softly, noticing the photo of Mei hugging Alfred extra hard, along with other people piling next to them with their arms outstretched.

"Hey Kiku, are you feeling alright?" Matthew asked as he approached him. He smiled warmly and handed him a cup of apple cider. "You've been quiet all day."

"Yes, I'm fine Matthew-san. I don't like drawing attention to myself, so I'm glad people nearly forget I'm there. That's what a good photographer does, anyway. I managed to take some good pictures."

"I know what you mean, but these are memories you're a part of too, you know. You should come out in a few photos at least."

"Well, I'm not all that photogenic—"

"Hey!" Alfred bounced up to them, slinging an arm around his twin's shoulder. "What're you two doing over here by yourselves? You should join the rest of us!"

"I'm just talking with Kiku. He was telling me about the photos he took."

"Ooh! Can I see?"

Kiku looked at him and said, "Once I sort them out, you can look at them all you like. I need to get rid of extra shots, and things like that."

"Ah well, alright. You're the camera man!" Alfred turned around as somebody called him back, and he responded, "I'll be right there!" He looked at Kiku, and said, "You seem a little… quieter than usual. Is everything okay buddy?"

"Y-Yes, everything is fine Alfred-san, I promise."

"Well… okay then. I'll get outta your hair, but really Kiku, you shouldn't just be in the background all the time! Mattie, you like to lecture people, so give him a good one, okay?" He slapped his brother on the back, and went on his way.

"That Alfred…" Matthew grumbled. "But he's right Kiku. I know you're still hurting because of Mei—"

"I'm not."

Matthew sighed. "You can't hide it from me, Kiku. Al's not the only one who has grown accustomed to notice when something is bothering you. He may not be as intuitive now because he's so hyped up by the holidays, but I know he's going to notice as soon as we go back home."

"I figured as much. That is why I decided to make a resolution for the New Year."

"Oh? What is it, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I'm going to discard these romantic attachments I have towards your brother and just… move on." He put a finger up before Matthew could open his mouth to retort. "So long as I can be his friend—his closest friend—I don't mind too much."

Matthew looked over his shoulder, and then hushed his tone of voice. "Kiku you can't just get over somebody in a night."

"I will make it a reality. Let's be honest with ourselves, Matthew-san. You know your brother can never feel that way about me. He is affectionate, yes, but it's not exclusive to just me and you. He has had girlfriends before, and he's… he's become comfortable around Mei… ever since that… kiss with the mistletoe."

"Kiku, you're over exaggerating. Alfred was comfortable with every single one of our female friends, except Navah, because he had a crush on her. He really isn't acting any different." He sighed in frustration as Kiku looked at the ground, holding his cup of cider in both of his hands. "You're going to hurt yourself if you keep doing this, Kiku."

"There is nothing I can do, except hope that whoever his next girlfriend is, will treat him right and make him happy. I am his best friend, and I'm going to continue to act like one. That is my resolution."

"To give up?" Matthew asked in a sterner tone.

Kiku narrowed his eyes in frustration. "It's not giving up; it's knowing when you're beat, and I'm not going to continue living with false hope. The more I tell myself that Alfred-san will never love me back, the easier it will be for me to keep moving forward. And the more I encourage him to pursue girls he likes, the happier he'll be, and my resolve will grow stronger."

"You still have to live with him under the same roof."

"I know…" he said quietly. "But that is what a good friend does. He supports his friends with everything they do, and all I want is for Alfred-san to be happy. I don't care if I suffer. If that's the price I have to pay so I never…" He gripped the plastic cup tightly in his hands. Matthew stared at it, concerned it would break and the cider would spill on the floor. "…If that's the price I have to pay so I never see Alfred-san cry ever again, to never see anything but a smile on his face, to prevent any sorrow or suffering in Alfred-san, then so be it. I will gladly pay it, tenfold."

Matthew remained silent, trying to find the words to respond. Kiku looked up at him, staring with determination. "I will not allow anybody make Alfred-san cry or suffer again. He has given me so much kindness and protection. Now it's my turn to repay him. He is… he is the most important person to me, and I will protect him from harm in my own way. I don't care who has the audacity to become an obstacle either."

I've never seen this side of Kiku, the Jones twin thought. It's sorta… scary, honestly. He looks like he's ready to kill. Could it be because of… what happened in July? I'm pretty sure it is.

"But also," Kiku continued. "I won't let anybody harm you or Jones-san either. You three have been so kind to me, so I will do everything I can to make sure you all remain happy." He said no more, and walked away from Matthew. He joined Alfred and his other friends around the large living room, and put on a smile for them in the best spirits he could fake.

Matthew sighed heavily. "Kiku… Why are you doing this to yourself? If Alfred knew… he would be furious…"

New Year's Day, everyone packed up their cars to return home. Alfred groaned, saying he wanted to spend more time in the cabin, but Emily refused. "I have to go back to work the day after next," she said. "I can't take more time off!"

"I know, I know," Alfred said as he got in the car and fastened his seatbelt. He watched as the cabins grew smaller and smaller in the rear-view mirror. "I just know what follows once we get back home…"

Emily said nothing, but a frown grew on her face; the trial of his father, and her ex-husband. It was to be two weeks from today, and she knew the tension would be high. Her stomach churned as she remembered the other families of victimized children sitting in the courtroom as Louis was charged with his crimes during arraignment. Alfred and Matthew aren't going to like what this case has become, she thought to herself as she reached the main road, following the other cars. I don't think… they realize just how many children that bastard has hurt. Manuel and the other survivors received the least amount of torture by comparison to the deceased victims… Oh why did he have to come back? Why do my boys have to be put through this…?

The car ride was silent after the third hour, so Emily turned on the radio so she could continue to concentrate on the road. When they arrived home, the first thing Kiku did was go through his photos on his laptop. He cursed himself inwardly whenever he got jealous of all the shots that had Alfred and Mei in them together. The Japanese boy was tempted to erase them all, but he felt guilty being spiteful.

"Ugh, why? I shouldn't be doing this…" he said to himself. "Mei-chan is my cousin, and she hasn't done anything wrong…"

When school started back up, the first thing Mei said to Kiku when they were alone was, "Hey uhm… Kiku? I wanted to know if… if you had any photos of me and Alfred from Christmas."

Yes, perhaps too many, he wanted to say. But instead he replied, "I believe so. Why?"

"Uhm… well, I would like to keep them. Er, you can make copies of course! You don't have to give me the original." Her cheeks were pink from the cold morning air, but grew redder during her request. Kiku stared at her for a moment, and then replied, "Yes, I will make a copy for you of all the shots of you two together."

"Oh, I'm so glad! Thank you!" She hugged him tightly. "Ah! By the way…" She took out her cell phone and opened up her image gallery. "Kiku, which outfit do you think is cuter? This pink one… or maybe this white and blue one since it's winter?"

He looked at her screen. Mei was posing in both outfits in front of her mirror. "Well, you look cute in either one. Why?"

"Because I'm going to meet Alfred this Saturday! This nice little restaurant with crepes opened up in the mall, so… so I asked if he wanted to go since he likes to try new foods… and he eats so much so… you know!"

"…Are you two going out on a date?" he asked quietly, trying to hide the shock in his tone.

"Uhm… w-well I don't want to call it that…" she said, blushing as she looked at the ground. "It's more like hanging out! Unless he thinks it's a date… Either one is fine, really!" She made a small squeal. "I better get going Kiku. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Yes, Mei-chan."

She waved at him and he returned the gesture. His heart felt so heavy he was sure it would fall and crush all of his internal organs. With the way he was feeling though, he desperately hoped that was a realistic possibility.

"Let me see… We need more syrup for waffles." Sanne pushed around a shopping cart as she looked through one of the aisles in the market. "There it is!" She plopped it down in the basket. "Now to find big brother." She wheeled it to the produce section and was surprised to find Antonio there. He was currently looking at some bananas on sale. The Belgian girl smiled and pushed her cart over to him. "Hello Antonio!"

He turned her way and greeted her cheerfully. "Sanne! Hello! Fancy meeting you here."

"I know! I came to do some grocery shopping while Mogens shops for food to take back to his dorm. He leaves tomorrow."

"…Your brother is here?" he asked with concern.

"Oh Antonio, you don't think he still hates you, do you?"

"Ah ha, well he's never really been very friendly with me! Especially since I accidentally… gave him that scar…"

"Don't worry about that! It's all water under the bridge." At least, this is what Sanne hoped. Mogens hadn't seen Antonio for a while, but the last time they saw each other, the Spaniard wasn't in the Dutch man's good graces.

"So, how was your Christmas vacation?" she asked him.

"Good! We went up to the mountains to celebrate it. We had a lot of fun! What about you?"

"We had family over and went to go see The Nutcracker!"

"Oh that's good!"

"How are things with Manny? Does he still hate you?"

Antonio chuckled. "Thankfully, he doesn't anymore, but he's still gets angry with me if I show him too much affection… Like he doesn't even want to do the mistletoe tradition with me anymore! I kissed him and he threw a pillow at my head."

Sanne laughed. "Well, I didn't think he'd get flustered easily. He's usually charismatic."

"It's very cute! He gets so red in the face, even his ears!"

"Pretty sure Lovi scolded you for that huh?"

"Ah ha, he would've done a lot more than that if he found out."

She looked at him quizzically. "You didn't tell him?"

"Not… the whole thing. I told him I wanted to, but then he started getting upset, saying why I had to do that when a hug would be enough. So he wouldn't be hurt, I told him the hug thing happened and he was fine."

Sanne watched him as he inspected the bananas too thoroughly. She wanted to say something, but this problem was between him and Lovino, and she didn't want to sound pretentious.

"Uh, Sanne?"

"Yes Antonio?"

"What do you think of Lovi?"

"Hmm…" She put a finger to her chin in thought. "I think he gets angry too easily, but he's cute and sweet too when he wants to be! Or, maybe to just girls… I think he has a hard time displaying positive emotions, but I don't think he's a bad person. He makes me laugh when he gets tongue tied after I compliment him on something, hee hee!"

"Yeah, that's Lovi!" He smiled, but then his face calmed to a neutral expression.

"Antonio, what's wrong?"

"Nothing! Nothing. Just thinking about Lovi. He's pretty cute isn't he?"

"Yes!"

There was a short pause before he spoke up again. "Manny's cute too. Don't you think so?"

"Erm, yes I suppose! I'm not as close to him as you are, but he's… attractive, if that's what you're asking? He's funny and friendly. Does that count?"

"Yeah, that counts." He pushed his shopping cart around to the other side of the produce stall. "Oh, these mangoes are on sale. Manny likes these… I think I'll buy some for him."

Sanne slowly pulled her cart up next to his. "So, the two of them are getting along fine? Lovi and he butt heads a lot, so I was just curious."

"Yeah, they're getting along! It makes me happy, but it's difficult dividing my time between them sometimes. Lovi's my boyfriend, so of course I like spending time with him, but… I feel neglectful if I'm not with Manny. He's been my friend longest out of everyone so…" He began mumbling to himself as he picked out some mangoes, feeling them to make sure they weren't too hard or too soft.

Sanne was going to say something out of concern, but she stopped herself when her older brother appeared next to her. "Mogens!" He placed his groceries in the cart, and glanced at Antonio who smiled at him.

"Look, it's Antonio! He's shopping today too!" Sanne said cheerfully. Mogens stared at Antonio and merely gave a grunt before saying to his little sister, "I have everything I need now. Are you done too?"

"Uh, yeah! Erm, I gotta go Antonio, but I'll see you at school, okay?"

"Okay Sanne!" They waved good bye at each other, and Antonio attempted to shake Mogens' hand, but he received a slight glare instead. The Spaniard laughed awkwardly and then disappeared around the bread aisle.

"You don't have to be so harsh with him you know…" Sanne pouted as they approached the register.

"No good."

"Hmm?"

Mogens loaded the cart with the newly bagged groceries. "Antonio. Clearly, he's in the middle of a romantic conflict. Can't choose between the hotheaded Italian and the hotheaded Mexican. I dislike those kinds of people, indecisive people."

"Big brother! You were eavesdropping?!" she exclaimed as she slapped him on the arm. He pushed the cart outside to the parking lot.

"I was worried he'd try to hit on you."

"He has a boyfriend!"

"He still likes women too. Having somebody doesn't mean anything, especially after what I heard. People still flirt."

"Urgh! So… what if he is? He's not the first person in history to like two people at the same time—! No, wait, what am I saying? I don't know that! Mogens! See, you're making me question him now! Don't make me assume things!"

He remained quiet as he loaded the car with the groceries. "You're worried, I can tell."

"…Maybe a little. Antonio is a good guy, but he… well he can be a bit insensitive without meaning to. And Lovino is sensitive, even if he tries to seem tough on the outside… They're both my friends, but I can't say anything because it's none of my business!" She sighed, and got into the passenger seat. Mogens returned the cart to its rack and then entered the driver's side of the car. "I just don't want Lovino to get hurt…" continued Sanne. "And I have a bad feeling in my stomach about this whole thing…"

The tall man said nothing as they drove back home. Sanne spent the rest of the day with her brother because she wouldn't be seeing Mogens again until summer. But even though she was tired, she still couldn't bring herself to fall asleep. The next morning her brother had gotten up to tell her and their parents he leaving, so she couldn't fall back into her dream world after that. In the school bus, she nodded off until Elizaveta gently shook her awake.

"Are you alright?" she asked her as they exited the vehicle.

"Oh, y-yeah I'm fine!"

"Sanne, you look really sleepy. Didn't you sleep well last night?"

"Uhm, yes!" When Elizaveta gave her a look, she sighed in defeat. "No, not really… I was thinking about Lovino."

"Aww, Sanne's got a crush!"

"I-It's not like that!" she defended, her cheeks getting slightly pink. "I was thinking about him and Antonio…"

"For what?"

"Liz, when you're around them, how do you feel?"

"Amused, mostly."

Sanne blinked, wondering if she heard correctly. "…Amused? Why?"

"Well it's sort of funny seeing Antonio trying to be affectionate with Lovino, and then he punches him or calls him an asshole or something. But lately I haven't seen them together much. Even during our Christmas vacation, Antonio seemed to gravitate towards Manny more…"

"Ah I see…"

The Hungarian girl gave a small gasp. "Do you think—?!"

"So, how are you and Roderich doing?" Sanne asked quickly. She knew Elizaveta would start with her theories and perhaps even go off into her boy's love fantasy if she didn't change the subject.

"Oh, fine I guess!"

"You guess?"

"Fine! I mean, fine! He gave me this nice bracelet, see?" She showed her a charm bracelet that had music notes on it.

"That's cute!"

"It is, isn't it?" She played with the music notes. Sanne began to notice that Elizaveta was zoning out, so she waved a hand in front of her face. "Huh?"

"You were gone for a few seconds."

"Oh! Sorry, sorry." She laughed. "Guess I was just thinking too hard."

"About what?"

"Well, this Christmas, Gilbert was behaving a lot… calmer. He was still loud, but around me it feels like… he's walking on eggshells. And he starts to get quiet if we talk too long."

"Eventually people run out of things to say."

"Gilbert? Running out of things to say?" She gave a laugh. "No, no. That guy never shuts up. But I feel like he doesn't want to talk with me anymore."

"I thought he annoyed you?"

"He still does, but… I dunno. Sanne, he's been a lot nicer recently, so I wonder if he's sick or something!"

Well… I think he might be sick, but it's not because of a cold or anything. I think it's more severe… thought Sanne. She was going to reply, but then Elizaveta saw Roderich in the distance arguing with Vash. "Oh no, I better go save him," she giggled. "I'll see you in homeroom Sanne!" She left her with a wave, and then ran to her boyfriend's side.

"Everyone's acting weird it looks like," she said to herself. "And I feel weird just being in the background watching all of this happen…" Her attention was directed to Francis and Arthur who were arguing as they approached the steps to the main building. But she was surprised to find the English boy smiling instead of scowling like he usually did. It was a cocky smile, but complete opposite from his usual behavior nonetheless.

"Arthur too? There must be a bug going around… or something else making everyone feel this way. I don't like to assume things, but it almost looks like…"

"Oi, Sanne."

"Gah!" She jumped, and then turned around to find Lovino standing there. "L-Lovi!"

"What're you doing standing here in the middle of the walkway? People are looking at you funny."

"Sorry, sorry! I didn't notice!"

"My God, you look really sleepy. You sure you're alright?"

"Yeah! Uh, s-so where's Antonio?"

"I dunno. He was with me a second ago, and then he ran off when he saw Manny." Sanne noticed his slight pout, but said nothing. "That bastard…"

"Erm, would you mind walking me to my locker?" she asked. He looked at her as if she grew a second head. "What? I just…! I've been zoning out and I'm afraid I'll sleep walk or something!"

"Sure… if… if that's what you want…" He walked alongside her as they entered the main building. "You sure you're okay Sanne?"

"Mm! Why, is it weird because I asked a cute boy to walk with me?"

Lovino's face flared up and he began to stutter when he replied. "N-No but you don't usually ask me 'cause… 'cause we usually j-just end up meeting each other at the lockers s-so…" His ears turned red. Lovino snatched the books out of Sanne's arms. "Gimme those! I'll carry 'em!" He began to walk away until Sanne called after him.

"My locker is this way!"

"I knew that!" he shouted, walking back towards her. He didn't stop and proceeded to head to her locker. Sanne stared after him and giggled. She watched him as he fumbled with the dial on the lock.

"You're just spinning it around, Lovi."

"I forgot your combination! And I hate these pieces of shit anyway!"

"Here, here. I'll do it." She made quick work of the lock, and then opened it. "Books please!"

He handed them to her silently, and she organized the contents of her locker. Lovino took this time to observe her locker door, where she had a mirror and photos of her family and friends. "Hey, this picture is us from Halloween. You still have this here?"

"Of course! I was so excited to be a part of your costume group, and our outfits turned out really nice! It's my favorite picture here. We look great."

"Yeah, we do. You look… pretty cute in your costume."

"Thank you! You look cute too!"

"Tch, it's only 'cause I was wearing granny clothes!"

"But you look cute all the time, Lovi."

The Italian's blush returned full-throttle. "D-Don't say it so casually like that! You're starting to sound like that dumbass Antonio!"

Sanne laughed. "But it's true!" She patted his arm as he looked away in embarrassment.

"Alright, we only have this month and the next to prepare for our play!" Neeraja reminded everyone after school in the auditorium. "So we're going to start with the scenes that are giving people the most trouble. Today…" She flipped through her script where she had written notes down. "Today we'll practice the ending scene where the princess and the hero have their kiss scene."

Kiku stared with wide eyes at the mention of "kiss scene". Mei began to blush and Alfred scratched the back of his head in nervousness, rereading the scene to himself. Blood boiling again, Kiku tugged on Neeraja's sweater sleeve a bit too roughly.

"Yes Kiku?" she asked, flattening out the fabric again.

"I don't think they should do the kiss scene."

"What? Why?"

"No, not that they shouldn't do the scene… but the kiss… because it's the princess' first kiss, and the hero's, correct? So… so first kisses are usually not executed the way people think is perfect, so I think… to make it even more authentic, they should withhold until the actual performance day."

"Hmm… well, that does make sense… I just don't want Mei to get flustered, or Alfred. They might get stage fright."

"They will be fine. I have full confidence in them."

"Well okay." She cleared her throat. "Alright, the actual kiss scene won't happen until the actual performance day. So Alfred, Mei… just read your lines and do the embrace, and then if it's done well, we'll move on to another scene that needs work."

Mei looked slightly dejected, but Alfred looked curiously relieved. Everyone got into their positions, and then Neeraja shouted, "And action! Narrator!" She pointed to Manuel who was standing behind a podium at the side of the stage.

"After leaving everyone in shock, Princess Sakura ran from the altar and out of the palace. Her feet carried her to the pond where she knew her love would be." Alfred was standing on the stage, looking up. Mei entered through the right.

"Alfonse!" she cried. He turned around. "Sakura! What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I couldn't do it… I can't…" Mei held a hand to her chest. "I can't go on with the marriage."

"But Sakura, you have to." Alfred placed his hands on her shoulders, and bent down to look her in the eyes. "The kingdom needs this alliance."

"I have a sister! She can do it! I just… I just want to be with you."

"Sakura, I can't offer you anything. I have nothing…"

"You have heart! You threw yourself in front of me! You sacrificed yourself! You… All I want Alfonse… is you. I don't care if I'm disowned from the royal family. I just want to be with you, now and forever." Mei's eyes glistened with tears. Kiku tried not to growl. "I love you Alfonse, more than anything…"

"Sakura…" Alfred hugged her tightly with his script in his hand, and Mei returned the embrace. "Are you sure you want this…?" he asked. "We'll start from the bottom. We'll have to raise livestock, and that's how our children will grow up."

"They'll be fine. They'll have a wonderful father as an example to follow, and somebody to look up to." She smiled, looking up into his sky blue eyes. "As long as I have you, I won't ever need anything ever again."

Alfred smiled back at her, wiping a stray strand of hair away from her face. "I love you, Sakura."

"As do I… Alfonse."

They leaned in as if about to kiss, and Manuel continued the narration. "Alfonse and Sakura's hearts were united with that simple kiss under the cherry blossom tree. The emperor went looking for his younger sister and found her sitting down on the soft grass with her beloved." Yao walked in from the right. Alfred sat down on the floor, with Mei sitting in his lap. They mumbled some lines that the audience was not meant to hear.

"At first, the emperor was upset at the developments of the day, but after seeing his sister so happy with the hero who nearly died protecting her, he decided that perhaps it wouldn't be so bad if she was the first person in their family to marry for love. And so a few days later, Alfonse and Sakura were wed. With the emperor's permission, they received a plot of land where they raised horses for the nobility. Their children were glad to assist, and the emperor often visited them, for he grew fond of his new little family in the countryside. And they all lived happily ever after. The end."

"Good, good. Okay, so it looks like everybody knows their lines for this scene." Neeraja walked up onto the stage. "Okay, so we should practice showing everybody's lives as Manny's talking. They'll come in from the left and—"

Kiku drowned out everything around him as he read the ending scene in his head. He felt like an idiot for still feeling envious of Mei. He had to keep reminding himself that he said he would support Alfred with his romantic endeavors, no matter who he decided to pursue. He watched as Alfred and Mei conversed; she laughed as he teased Arthur about being his mother in the play, and Francis only made it worse by going along with it. He improvised and wrapped his arm around Arthur saying, "Welcome to the family, Sakura! Alfonse, your mother and I are so proud of you!"

"Don't touch me—"

"Now now, we're acting!"

"It's over! Let's rehearse another scene!" But he was ignored as Neeraja went to everyone individually to discuss their actions for the final scene. Kiku took this time to disappear with script in hand. He walked out of the auditorium's side door and didn't stop walking until he reached the corner of the sports field near the horticulture classrooms.

He sat down behind a large planter and read the last scene over and over, but it only caused him further distress. Kiku grimaced as tears welled up in his eyes. He ripped the script's pages out one by one, and cursed himself for making such a story and for being such a fool. The mantra of "get over it" escaped his lips in a whisper. Kiku hugged his knees and cried, desperately hoping nobody would hear him.

A/N: I said the next chapter would be the trial, but I had to rewrite it several times because it seemed half-assed. Researching for it has become difficult, and school is starting for me again in a few days... I didn't want to leave you guys hanging, so I wrote this chapter instead. No amount of crime dramas and the mock trial I did in high school could properly prepare me to write such a thing in fanfic... I'll figure out something... but if you know of any helpful references, that would be much appreciated.

So, I don't know when the next chapter will be up. It's half-done, but even that half isn't satisfying to me... Urgh, but once that is over and done with, hopefully this story will pick up the pace with updates, because after that, I know exactly what I want to happen. Hope this chapter was a suitable read for now! I've been writing my original story too simultaneously, so that's also the reason for late updates. Er, yeah, so until the next update!

Edit: I promise this story is Ameripan! But I like to develop relationships slowly, because that's how it works in reality! (For most people anyway.) Kiku will get his happily ever after, do not fret. Alfred's a little oblivious after all, but there will be a chapter very soon where he comes to a surprising... realization. ;)