WARNING: If you are very susceptible to what you read, or easily believe things even thouh they are not directed at you, then you may not wanna read the second have of this chapter. It is a very dark moment (don't worry the story isn't gonna be like that a lot). Otherwise, enjoy my masterpiece.

The Move chapter 2

A pair of large hands held back my hair as I threw up. What I saw made me sick. Not in a 'that's revolting' sort of way but in a 'i'm broken and finished' sort of way. When I was nine I would have found a way to break them up, or to make them see that they don't belong together but over the years that ideal of mine has changed. I will never break somebody apart just for my own gain. They could be totally and completely happy with each other, and in all honesty, that all I could ask of the universe for Arnold. Thats all he deserves, is happiness. It just kills me that I am not the one providing it. "Why does it have to hurt so bad?"

"Because you love him, and he's with the one other person you trusted, even though you kind of hated her." Gerald replied. He took some toilet paper and began wiping off my mouth, being gentle and caring.

"Why are you helping me? Why are you being so nice? I only ever gave you a reason to the me."

Gerald laughed and fixed my bow, before pulling me over to the sinks and pulling out a pack of breath mints from his pocket and handing me one. "Because you've changed Helga. The whole school sees that. And besides, Phoebe has seen this side of you since he day you guys became friends. I was just too stubborn to see it. And right now, after...that, you need the both of us more than even and i'm not about to abandon you just because you used to make my life a living hell. Understand Pataki?"

I laughed a little. "Yeah. Thank you." I gave him a quick hug and was about to walk out of the bathroom before Gerald stopped me.

"A couple more things. You may want to fix your make up a bit, and there is something else. Arnold is in your last class."

I heard his las comment, but all I did was fix my makeup and give Gerald a small smile. "I'll be fine sooner or later Gerlad. As long as he is happy, i'll live."

Gerald watched me for a minute surprised by my statement. "You really have grown up, haven't you?"

ignoring what was most likely still down that hallway, I walked with Gerald and Phoebe down to their class, heard their well wishes and good lucks and slowly made my way to my own class. As I walked, I built up walls around my heart. I couldn't allow what was left of it to shatter into a million pieces, and if I was to move on with even a piece of it, I needed to steel myself for quite a while. I pushed open the door and slowly made my way t an empty desk. People waved and said hello as I passe them, they smiled and didn't see that anything had even been wrong which was the way I liked it. I still wasn't fond of people seeing me vulnerable. An then I head it. That voice I had been both dreading and anticipating ever since I got back to Hillwood. "Helga Pataki?"

Taking a deep breath I turned and faced him. He was so different and so much the same in so many ways. His hair had grown longer and fell past his shoulders instead of his old wild hair style, and he wore a blue undershirt and a red plaid button up with the sleeves rolled up halfway. He had also gotten very tall, and had gotten lean muscles. It nearly made my breathe hitch, but I managed to keep myself together "Hi, Arnold. It's good to see you again."

His eyes widened a bit, having expected me to snap at him, something like 'yeah whats it to ya football head?' I wasn't allowed to have a nickname like that for him though. Somehow it seemed to personal. "You look..great. Um, what happened to you? Why did you leave?" I saw a flash of hurt in his eyes, which confused me. What did I do? My leaving could not have possibly hurt him. He was probably thinking about how horrible I was before I left, and his real question was why had I come back.

"I had to Arnold. I needed a change, both Miriam and I did. I needed to grow up and I couldn't do that here with all these memories and reminders of why I was the way I was. So Miraim and I left and did some growing up." With that, I sat down in the only desk available, behind Arnold and pulled out my pink notebook and began writing about everything that happened toay. Arnold tried to pull me aside after class, but I just slipped from his grip and walked out the front door with Rhonda and Eugene. I began strapping everything onto my scooter, and was about to leave when a hand stopped me.

I flinched. I knew exactly who it was. Turning around a plastered a smile on my face and greeted Arnold. "Hi."

He simply watched me. I let him. Finally his eyes found mine again. "You've changed. You didn't call me Football head. Why?"

I sighed. "Because i'm not in middle school anymore. I gotta go, Arnold. I promised Miriam I would help unpack the kitchen it's the last room in the house that needs unpacking."

"Let me help. It will get done faster." Why?why must he make this harder? It's not even been a day and my heart is already breaking. My walls just aren't as sturdy as they used to be. I wanted to say no but my mouth blurted an OK. But I regretted it almost instantly. He had walked here, so I had to give him a ride on my scooter. My tiny one person scooter. I climbed on and strapped down my dress and motioned for him to get on.

His legs settled next to mine, making my heart skip a beat, and his arms wound around my waist. The ride to my new home was a it tense but not nearly as bad as I would have thought it would be. I parked and led Arnold inside.

"Mom! I've brought home a friend. Said he wants to help. Don't know why though." I grinned and nudged Arnold with my him. Might I add that he had gotten much taller than me, so when I did that, I only hit the top of his legs. Yeah he's pretty tall.

"Oh that's wonderful." Miriam came from the kitchen and smiled. Arnold seemed a bit surprised that she looked like an actual mother. She wore American Eagle sweatpants, and a black tank top, her hair was pulled back and she had a kind but aware smile on her face. "Oh hello, Arnold. It's good to see you again. Would you like to go out to dinner with us after the kitchen is finished?" the day went surprisingly quick. We had fun, played around a little, and I am happy to say that I came to a conclusion during dinner. I may have lost him as a love, but I could at least have him as a friend. I was prepared to take what I could get, and be thankful for it.

…...

"So Helga, how was your day at school?"

I wasn't sure on how to answer that. "It wasn't bad actually. Everyone is actually pretty OK with me being back."

"And your surprised?" Miriam raised an eyebrow, grinning a bit.

"A little yeah. I mean I was so mean to them as a kid." I frowned at that.

"Well, don't be."

I raised an eyebrow and grinned. "Don't be mean? Well last time I checked Mom, I'm pretty nice nowadays."

Miriam stuck her tongue out, and slapped my butt. "you know what I meant don't be surprised Helga. You've changed. Get used to it. Well dear, i'm pooped and i'm gonna go to bed. Night.

"Night. Love you."

…...

I had a nightmare. It started off with a pretty normal day before Big Bob died. We were watching a wrestling match on tv, a live one that both of us got really into. Then Big Bob's face contorted into something ugly. A true demon. "You dumb little girl. You'll never make me proud. You'll never be as good as Olga. I should have had a boy. At least I could hope he one turn into them." He gestured to the tv, with a clawed hand. Deep down I knew this wasn't Big Bob, but closer to the surface, my chest constricted with shame. I knew Big Bob would never say something like that, because he never truly believed that. He told me himself ot long before he died that he only treated me the way he did, so I could learn to be out in the world on my own. I will be forever grateful for that, but at the moment wispers of agreement flowed through my mind. He's right. You'll never be as good. Never be as talented. Never be as smart. Your nothing. Worth nothing. Just a waste of space. I cried recognizing Arnolds voice even though he would never even think something so harsh. I cried as the scene changed, to the day Big Bob died. Miriam was standing in front of the docter, who had a look of utter sadness, like it was his father and husband dying, and not mine and Miriams. This time it was the doctors face that contorted.

"It's your fault your fathers dead little girl. Your mother as nothing but a tired drunk, and your sister is perfect. How is that stressful? Your the one who gets into fights, who gets sent home early for being a bully. Who doesn't think about anyone else." Then I watched as Miriam crumbled to the floor, unable to do anything. The doctor grinned at me then called out orders to the nurses and people around him. His face never left mine as he uttered the words, "You killed her too."

The scene changed and Arnold was standing in front of me. He had a sad look in his eyes, and he shook his head in disappointment. "I tried Helga. You know I did. But all you did was push me further away I don't know what to do with you, Helga. So i'm just gonna do what makes sense to me. I give up." He turned away from me and disappeared before I could beg him to stay. Tears streamed from my eyes as the scene shifted yet again. Phoebe stood in front of me now. Her eyes filled with anger.

"I was never your friend because I wanted to you know. It's not logical to be friends with a bully. You always bossed me around, but felt bad for you. I pitied you Helga Pataki."

That short sentence tore another piece of my heart. Subconsciously I was aware that this was a nightmare, but that didn't stop the pain. That didn't keep it from hurting so badly. And then I was standing in front of a mirror. Behind me stood all of my friends and family. Their hands were in fists positioned over their stomachs, and their faces were twisted with hate. "We blame you, Helga Pataki. It's time to pay for the hell you put us through." Then slowly they made a motion ith their fist. Bck and forth. Pain radiated from my stomach and doubled over agony. I looked down and saw blood streaming from multiple stab wounds inflicted by the knife in my hands. My body was folowing them. Every time they made the motion I stabbed myself again. And again. And again. It went on until I woke up screaming, feeling as if I had actually stabbed myself so many times.

I curled in a ball and sobbed. The door shot open and not a second later Miriam's arms wrapped around me and pulled me to her. "Oh, it's OK baby. Everything is OK. No one hates you, no one blames you for anything. Understand? I love you. Don't ever doubt that, and Bob loved you too." I rocked on her lap like a little child until my sobbing quieted. "I thought the nightmares had gone away honey."

"I thought so too. I guess they didn't wanna stay gone forever." I climbed off her lap and wiped at my bloodshot eyes. "I gotta get ready for school."

Before you go all phycologist on me, I am not depressed or having any issues. I just have a creative mind. So now that that is settled, please tell me what you think. R&R and all that jazz. Thanks:)