Disclaimer: I don't own it, but probably for the better…

Warning: AU, strong language (in Chibimano's defense, Arthur has a mouth on him too), boy x boy pairings (but not for awhile), and adorableness overload.

Sorry for the delay!

Totally forgot to mention that the cute Italian baby from the last chapter was Seborga. Oops. Seems like most of you figured that one out on your own, but sorry for forgetting to add that anyway. I'll get a head start this time and let you know that 'Michelle' in this chapter is Seychelles.

The Battle for New York

It was a dark day to live in New York. Stocks were dropping, taxes were rising, and people were getting yelled at by their parents for getting grass stains on their clothes. It was terrible. These were dark times, but all of that paled in comparison to the giant sand monster attacking the Statue of Liberty. You know, the one that spawned from the depths of hell like it was no big deal? That giant sand monster.

"Noooo!" Alfred wailed. "My thunderbolts aren't working!"

The diabolical beast was created by the finest of five-year-old craftsmanship and whatever random sticks Alfred found lying around. That said, it couldn't be slain so easily. Its sheer size and scary face was enough to scare off the small group of kids who approached the dynamic duo to see what all the screaming was about. (It also probably didn't help that Lovino glared at them for interrupting his playdate with Alfred, while the American ordered all of the 'civil-lions' to run to safety before they were squished like bugs). Sand monsters were a job for the Avengers, and even they were having a tough time breaking the colossal beast's defenses… And truthfully, the blonde felt a little bad about trying to beat it up after Lovino made it look so awesome, but a superhero didn't get to choose his opponent when lives were at stake.

"You have a giant hammer, idiota!" his teammate reminded him. "Use that!"

"But what if he eats it?"

"Then we'll give him a tummyache together!" Lovino shouted, starting to get into it.

"Superpals, away!" Alfred hollered, taking Lovino's hand and dashing towards the sand beast at top speed.

The boys tumbled through the large mountain of sand together. A dust cloud the size of a skyscraper appeared over the battlefield during the final confrontation. They collapsed on the other side of the giant sandbox, covered in the remains of the foul monster and coughing up sand, but they were victorious! Even though the sand was stinging his eyes (Alfred forgot to close them during the charge), Thor let out a mighty laugh and waved his hammer in the air wildly.

"We won! We won!" he cheered. "Yaaaaaay!"

"Take that, stupid sand jerk!" the Italian grinned, kicking the last clump of sand over. Normally, he got upset when he got sand in his hair (it was really itchy afterwards), but he made a special exception for saving New York from mortal peril.

"Quick, Loki! Use your magic staff to make fireworks and stuff!"

"Why?" Lovino asked.

"'Cause you're burdened with glorious porpoise," came Alfred's matter-of-fact answer.

Lovino couldn't be certain, but he was pretty sure that was some kind of dolphin. He wasn't clear on what sea creatures had to do with saving New York, but shrugged it off. Sometimes, it was easier to just go with the flow as far as his best friend was concerned. Alfred didn't always make sense, but that was what made him so much fun.

Grumpy Pirates

After the modern world was saved, Lovino and Alfred traveled back in time by climbing on the large wooden and plastic play-set. The park transformed into unexplored land, while the sand became a great sea, tossing their ship around in a storm. The boys raced up and down the play-set doing their best to keep everything afloat and weather the storm. Just when things couldn't get much worse, a leviathan rose from the depths of the waves to drag the ship to the bottom of the ocean.

"Hard to starboard!" Lovino hollered.

"What's a starboard?" Alfred stopped running around to ask.

"I don't know! Just don't let us get eaten!"

"Aye, aye, Captain!"

Fortunately, the explorers made it through the whirlpool/sea creature/storm fiasco. They arrived at the New World and kept an eye out for anything threatening their mission. Lord knows what King Batman would do if the brave explorers wrecked his ship.

"See anyone 'spicious, Lovi?" Alfred asked, looking through his cupped hands like a telescope.

"Just Toni and your dad."

"Yeah, they look like grumpy pirates, let's stay away from them."

"Okay," Lovino agreed, not wanting to deal with either adult. "Heh, grumpy pirates…"

The boys laughed a little more at their caretakers' expense. Then it was time to hoist the anchor and search for new land to explore…

The grumpy pirates collected their kids just before the sun set. This time Lovino and Alfred got to say goodbye and hug. Antonio didn't want his nephew to be so sad again and Arthur wasn't sure he could take another five days of Alfred constantly asking him about 'Lovi this' and 'Lovi that.'

"Oh, that's right!" Alfred's eyes lit up, releasing Lovino from his glomp. "I have a present for you!"

"Huh? For me?" the Italian was confused, but waited for his friend to dart over to his bag, dig something out, and return.

"Taa-daa!" the blonde beamed, shoving his makeshift book into Lovino's arms. "It's a book about us!"

The brunette was too stunned to speak.

"See? It has all the adventures we have to go on someday!" Alfred was more than happy to explain several of the brightly colored pages to him. "I was scared you might forget about me, so I made you a book to help you remember!"

"G-Grazie!" Lovino quickly hugged him, so Alfred didn't see the tears welling in his eyes. Nobody had ever made him something like this before. And here he had been worried that Alfred would be the one who would forget about him after they parted ways so suddenly last time. "I-I won't forget!"

Antonio's face was a river of tears. Even if this little cutie was somehow related to the stuffy Brit, they acted completely different! Arthur choked back a strangled sound from the pit of his throat. He suddenly felt horrible for wanting Alfred to forget about his park buddy. The Briton noticed Antonio begrudgingly take out his cellphone. Arthur sighed and swiped the phone.

"Shut up."

"I didn't say anyth—"

"You were thinking," Arthur punched his number into the idiot's phone with more force than needed. "It's annoying."

Death of A Wanker

The young couple carelessly wandered under the flickering lamp post. Their stupidity and youth made them feel invincible, as did the entire pack of beer they'd recently gone through. Stumbling and clutching each other for support, the two drunkards made their way down a shady alley in the middle of the night. They didn't believe the stories of the serial killer who called this part of town his home. All that mattered to them was getting home in time for a good snog before they passed out.

Carelessly, the man attempted to show off his strength by tossing an empty beer bottle as far as he could. It shattered off in the distance, raining glass over a forgotten dumpster. The two fools laughed loudly, their voices echoing off the grimy wall. Little did they know, the action alerted the killer to their location. He swept in, unnoticed, in the shadow of the night.

They felt him long before they saw him. The hair on the back of their necks stood straight up. Perhaps this shortcut wasn't such a brilliant idea after all? Their feeling of dread only intensified as the eerie presence drew closer and closer, until they could practically feel him breathing on them. The couple could no longer deny his existence when two bloodshot eyes followed them through the sea of black surrounding them.

Then, the killer emerged from the darkness, like a living shadow. His hand cupped around a bloodstained knife, which he raised above his head. There was no time for the foolish couple to scream before he—

"DAAAAAAADDY!"

Arthur nearly jumped out of his computer chair. He swiveled around to find his son beaming up at him. Somehow, he couldn't help but return the contagious smile.

"What is it, Alfred?" he asked, gruesome murder scene all but forgotten.

"Phone's for you!" the little blonde proudly announced, handing over the cordless phone.

"Who is it?"

"Uncle Francis."

For his son's sake, the tsundere forced what remained of his smile to stay plastered on his face. As calmly and casually as he could, Arthur pushed the 'End Call' button with his thumb as he brought it up to his ear. He pretended to greet his 'old friend' who had an annoying habit of interfering in his life when it was least welcome, faking his concern over the apparent 'bad reception' on the frog's end of the phone line.

"What happened?" Alfred asked, his blue eyes wide with curiosity.

"Bad connection," Arthur repeated, doing his best to look genuinely disappointed. "The phone lines are terrible in France…among other things."

"Like…ooh! Like the food!" exclaimed Alfred, recalling one of his father's most frequent lessons.

"That's my boy," the Englishman patted him on the head affectionately.

Not five seconds later, the phone rang again, causing Arthur's massive brows to twitch. He knew exactly who it was. Without another thought, the blonde pulled out the battery on the back of the phone, cutting Francis's call off entirely. He smiled and explained that the batteries needed to be changed to his inquisitive son. Unfortunately, his victory was short-lived. Within moments, the Frenchman's name popped up on Arthur's cell phone; that now beeped obnoxiously in his pocket.

"Hello?" Arthur tried to sound pleasant through gritted teeth. That man just didn't know when to give up!

"Mon ami! What is wrong with your phone? I've been trying to get a hold of you for—"

Arthur wordlessly handed the phone to Alfred, who took it in confusion.

"It's Santa Claus," the taller blonde grinned. "He wants to know what you'd like for Christmas."

Alfred squealed loudly into the receiver and began excitingly babbling all of the toys he wanted next December. Poor Francis never got a word in edgewise, as his nephew-of-sorts had no need for oxygen during his long list of superhero toys, movies, Legos, monster trucks, and Nerf guns. Arthur merely smirked and returned to his work.

Tuesdays at Tino's

Antonio woke up early Tuesday morning with a large yawn. It usually took a lot of time to get his nephew ready for his weekly trip to 'Dr. Tino's.' The Finnish child psychologist had been seeing Lovino since his parents' death several months ago. The counseling sessions didn't always go well, but Dr. Väinämöinen truly wanted to help the boy. Antonio admired his determination and hoped it paid off.

Lovino was surprisingly cooperative this morning and they made it downtown to the appointment in record time. A bell jingled above them as they entered the building, signaling their arrival. Lovino robotically moved over to the kids corner of the waiting room and dug out some toys to play with. Antonio checked in with the pretty receptionist.

"How's it going, Michelle?"

"I'm doing great!" the former island girl chirped. "How about you and Lovino?"

"Can't complain."

"The doctor will be ready to see Lovino in a few minutes," she smiled. "Would you like some coffee while you wait? I was just going to make some."

"Sure, gracias!"

Antonio rejoined his nephew while Michelle checked them in and started a pot of coffee. The smell wafted over and helped the Spaniard relax. For whatever reason, doctor offices of any kind always made him antsy. A few minutes later, the girl in blue handed a Styrofoam cup to Antonio and collected Lovino for her boss. The boy went along cooperatively and his uncle breathed a sigh of relief.

Minutes ticked away while Lovino was in Tino's office. Antonio kept himself occupied by chatting with Michelle, sipping his coffee, and watching the TV. The first few times here were hard on Lovino, who just screamed and hollered the entire time. Then there was the silent, uncooperative phase…which was almost just as bad. Now, the Italian boy seemed to understand that Tino was on his side and if he wanted to make the counseling sessions go faster, working with him and not against him was easier.

Antonio grinned. His nephew was so smart!

About fifteen minutes later, Tino escorted Lovino back to the waiting room. There was a bright smile on the blonde's face and he was practically singing Antonio's praises for finding a new friend for Lovino. Initially, the Spaniard had no idea what he was talking about, then it clicked.

"Don't tell me…" he glanced at his sobrino, who actually smirked at him and went back to his lollypop he received for being a 'good boy.'

"Alfred, of course!" laughed Tino. "Lovino was telling me all about him. It was the first time he's opened up so much! Alfred is a good influence on him."

"S-So playing with that cabron's kid was a…good thing?"

"Yes~!" the good doctor smiled again, assuming 'cabron' was Spanish for a friend or family member.

Antonio felt violently ill. Tino didn't seem to notice and patted Lovino on the head.

"Lovino was telling me that you were going to set up a playdate soon, so I'll let you two be on your way, unless you have any questions for me."

"Nope, can't think of any today…" the taller brunette took the shorter one's hand and shook Tino's with his free hand.

"Then have a wonderful afternoon," the psychologist knelt by Lovino, shaking his tiny hand as well. "Have fun playing with Alfred!"

"Okay~!" the boy faked a sweet smile.

Antonio caught his monster-child's smug look again out of the corner of his eye.

Did…Did I just get played by a five year old?!

Recognize my power, dammit!

That evening, Antonio found himself staring at his phone. He knew what he had to do, but he just didn't think he could stand the sound of Arthur's arrogant voice. The Spaniard glanced up to find his nephew's green eyes watching him expectantly. On the surface, Lovino was innocently playing with his blocks near the couch his uncle was sitting in. While he had been working on next week's café schedule the boy ignored him, but as soon as Antonio made the mistake of picking up his phone, he felt Lovino's gaze.

How was it that a child could be so intimidating? Antonio was starting to think the boy got it from his Italian side. He could recall Romulus's mastery of threatening people with just a look. The brunette was grateful he was never on the receiving end of that glare.

"What are you doing?" Lovino asked, climbing up the couch to sit by his uncle.

"Working on stuff for the restaurant," Antonio smiled back.

"You're not gonna…call anyone?"

"You want me to call Alfred for you?" The older brunette asked knowingly.

"N-No!" Lovino's face suddenly heated up at the mention of his new best friend. "B-But if you were gonna call anyway…um, you might as well…"

There he was! His adorable little nephew! Antonio scooped the boy up in his arms and began ruffled his hair.

"Lovinito~! I was so worried!" he laughed. "You looked so angry and grumpy before, but now you're back to being my cute little sobrino again!"

"I'm not cute! I'm angry!" the boy snarled, blushing with embarrassment.

"You're so cute when you're angry!" Antonio squished his rosy cheeks together, causing Lovino's face to scrunch up in a fish-like fashion. "So cuuuuute~!"

"Not cute, dammit!" he sputtered. "Jerk bastard!"

Antonio could barely keep a straight face long enough to call Lovino out on his choice of words. He couldn't help it. With all the flailing and pouting, Lovino looked like a little tomato. Antonio made the mistake of pointing this out to the boy, launching Lovino into a renewed fit of shouting and clawing at him. Once they managed to settle down, Antonio picked up the phone and decided to contact that backstabbing Brit for his nephew's sake.

Playdate

Arthur had just finished settling his hyper son into bed for the evening, when his phone buzzed in his pocket. The novelist pulled it out, but didn't recognize the number. Upon opening the text message, he realized who it was from and frowned.

Hola Cabron. When's a good time to set up a playdate between your eyebrow trimming sessions and writing trashy romance novels?

He responded with something equally witty and insightful. Arthur set the phone down on the kitchen counter while he prepared a cup of tea. As much as he hated Antonio, he was glad the fool at least had the common sense to text him, instead of calling. The last thing he wanted to hear was that airhead's dopey voice rambling on and on about tacos or something. As if on cue, the phone went off again with Antonio's reply. Before he opened it, Arthur set his phone to vibrate to keep from waking Alfred up. In that delicate balance between falling asleep and gaining a second wind that would last until 2 AM, the Briton needed every advantage he could get.

"At least my job involves feeding people without giving them food poisoning, diablo…If you tried to write a cookbook, they'd file it under the murder-mystery section…" Arthur read over the text message, internally fuming. "How dare that wanker try to get one up on me!"

The blonde's fingers angrily mashed down his response: Charming. Perhaps it would be on the same shelf as your brain, since no one has seen that in years. The bigger mystery is how you're still functioning at all.

By some small miracle, they managed to set up a neutral meeting at McDonald's between their text insult battle. Neither would admit it, but the public location was really to force them to behave more than their kids.

"Hmph, well at least Alfred will be happy…" he walked past his son's room, muttering quietly. "I'll tell him about the playdate with Lovino tomorrow…"

"PLAYDATE WITH LOVINO?!" a little voice cheered from inside the room. "YEAAAAAAH!"

Arthur sighed. Selective listening, indeed. Somehow, some way, the boy had heard him and from the sound of things, was bouncing off the walls.

"This is going to be a long night…"

A/N

For those wondering, Francis is more of a friend-of-the-family-uncle towards Alfred, since he's not directly related to either Arthur or Amelia in this. He is related to a certain Canadian cutie, who will be showing up with the world's biggest teddy bear in a later chapter, though.

-Rajikka

Translations

Tsundere – A type of character seen in anime or manga known for appearing cold or hostile, but having a hidden sweet side. "Tsun Tsun" is the aloof or irritable side, while "Dere Dere" is the lovey dovey side. (Jp.)

Chiquito – Little boy (Sp.)

Idiota – Idiot (It.)

Grazie – Thanks (It.)

Sobrino – Nephew (Sp.)

Cabron – Jackass (Sp.)

Diablo – Devil (Sp.)