Emma and her parents went to the living room and sat on the Couch having some tea and listening to Grahams stories. He told them about the passed months, his parents, his kingdom and the things he did. It was nice, almost nice enough for Emma to stop thinking about Killian and counting the minutes to go and talk to him, well that maybe would be possible if she didnt love him that much, but she did and she hated the hurt in his eyes and the way that his leaving broke hers. She wanted to excuse herself and leave but that wasnt possible.
"So, lets have a walk"- Graham said to her and she noded and led the way out to the garden. The walked a while without speaking, but that wasnt something strange and he broke the silence when they walked away enough.
"So, how have you been all this time. Something´s changed?
"Oh if you only knew.."-she said "so many things had changed, actually"- she said
"share!...like what"- he asked
"i couldnt put it into words, and if i did, you probably wouldnt understand"- she gave him a sad smile
"its okay, we will have the rest of our lifes to share after the wedding"- he told her and just the thought of breaking his heart made her upset (would make her sad if she really believe he loved her but he didnt) but just the thought of it being real broke her heart into pieces, she couldnt let that happen... "So, you are exicted about you birthday ball, i guess"- he said after she didnt answer him
"I suposs i could be"- she said, picturing herself with a beautiful dress and dancing with Killian. Just one dance with him would make the whole night worth it.
They walked and talked about this and that, nothing deep and nothing too nice, not to Emma when her mind was ocuppied with someone else. She would usually put her arm about his while walking but not this time, it didnt feel correct and when they sat on the bench for a little while, she kept the distance, begging for him to not try to kiss her and he didnt, maybe he could feel her distance.
When they finally got back to the castle´s back door, after a nearly 1 hour talked, she told him she would go to her room because she was tired.
She saw Killian watching at them when they were laughing at something silly that Graham said after the goodbye and Emma walked away and went inside of her room. She walked around her room, she fucking hated this situation. She probably should feel bad because she was kinda cheating on Graham but she really felt like she was cheating on Killian or her own feelings for the matter. She hated being a princess more every second.
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"Killian, we need to talk"- she said breathless leaning against the door of his bedroom
"What are you doing here!"- he yelled at her, yes he was really angry –"Someone could see you, you wanna get me killed, princess!"- he asked standing from the bed
"Killian, please"- she begged "You think this isnt hard for me, that im actually happy?- she asked walking toward him
"You certainly didnt seem unhappy a moment ago"- he said, stepping back
"I love you, do you hear me? I love you, Killian"- she said with tears on her eyes
"Is that what you just said to you betrothed, princess? Did you let him kiss you when you were alone, did he touch you?"- he said walking closer, just to make her slap at him
"shut up! You are acting like an idiot!"- she yelled
"Make me"- he said and she pulled him against the door and kissed him, passionated and needy. He didnt kiss back right away but had to after she licked his lips and demanded his mouth opening, to led her tongue inside to explore his wet warm pit, she took his dark hair and pulled it between her fingers, needing him closer while pressing all her body against his.
She moaned when he led his tongue inside of her mouth this time, hands on her waist pushing with force against him. They break apart, breathless. Forehead against forehead
"Do i taste like i have been kissed?"- she asked, giving him a open kiss –"Does it feel like i want to be kissed by someone ... but you"- she said and pulled away to look at his eyes
"Emma"- he said –"Im sorry, i know this isnt your fault. I know you but"- he walked away "Seeing you with someone else, i just cant..."
"Killian"- Emma tried to tell him
–"This is wrong and stupid"- he could see the hurt in her eyes –" You and me, this is impossible. Me being jealous and hurt because of the kingdom´s princess spent some time with her betrothed"- he laughed of himself –"Im an idiot, just leave and forget this ever happened, i will do the same. Im a pirate and pirate and princesses dont fit"- he finished
"No! – I wont leave and i wont let you leave! – I wont forget, i will never be able to forget you and i know you wouldnt either!"- she walked to him again "I wont let them take away our hapiness, so please dont you let them either, killian"- she begged
"Emma, this is the best for you... Im not worth it, i cant give you nothing..."- she cut him and pushed him against the wall and kissed him again, this time harder than before, she needed to show him how she felt about him, and hope that throught the kiss he would realize his deep feelings for her and wouldnt give up, after exploring his mouth and feeling his tongue, she did what she never allowed herself before, she went down to his neck and kissed it, licked it and sucked into her mouth, making him moan. After she took his hand and led them under her dress and moaned when she felt him against her bare breasts.
"Oh god"- she said when he massaged soflty each breast with his hands, kissing her neck. She was so damn wet and she needed him so bad. –"Killian, please"- she begged
And with that he let go of her and grabbed her face and kissed her lips, tenderly once more.
"Emma, we not gonna do this. Someone can come looking for you at any moment"- he told her and moved a step back, making her groan
"fine, i want you to know that i never let anyone kiss me like that, i never had someone´s tongue but yours in my mouth and certainly didnt let another touch, touch me like that... just you, i want just you to take me, Killian...Dont leave, please dont leave me. I love you"- she said, walking to him again
"I really dont know if i can do this, Emma. I dont know if we should do this"- he said to her
"Do you trust me? Do you believe in me?"- she asked, grabbing his face in her hands and looking at his eyes
"Aye, you know i do"
"Then believe in my love for you and trust me, we will find a way. We will find happiness together. Please... what did you said about a man unwilling to fight for what he wants..."- she said to him
" who he wants...- deserved what he gets"- he finished, still hurt and unsure
"Then if you want me, if you love as i love you, dont give up, dont stop fighting... do it for me, please"- she couldnt help the tears on her eyes –"If you want me, i will tell them tonight at dinner"
"No, not like that. We will find the right way to do this, love. And i believe in you so i wont leave. God! I dont think i could live without you anymore. Woman, what have you done to me?- he asked.
He was a pirate, he had been for a few years after Liam but when it came to Emma he was still the man, the unsecure man of honour and he liked that she brings the best of him but is horrible at the same time because he feels she deserves better, maybe this isnt real, how could someone as special as her really love him, after everything he has done? How could a man like him be good for her? A princess and a pirate? How could this not end on a disaster? But then, the look in her eyes, begging for him not to leave her, begging for him to fight for her, and the love, he could see the love in her eyes, oh those beautiful green eyes. He felt he would die if he had spend a day without looking at them, without seing her smile, without kissing her. He would stay and fight as long as she wanted him.
"Are you saying that you are in love in me, pirate"- she smiled
"Wouldnt you like to know?"- he asked
"I certainly would"- she kissed him again for a really long time, as long as she could and later left to her room, careful for no one to noticed that she was missing or when she actually was.
-...-...-...-...-...-...-.-...-...-...-...-...-...-...-
Later that night, before dinner Emma tried to talk to Graham without actually saying it.
"Why do think we should this?- she said
"This?"
"get married, do you really want to?"- she asked
"Do we have a choice?"
"Im asking you"- Emma said
"This the best for our kingdoms, Emma. We will rule them together and helped our people"-he said proud
"What i dont want to, what if i want someone else?"- she asked
"Do you? If you do, it doesnt matter , we will have to do this... maybe with time we will come to love each other"- he said
"Im sorry, but what if i dont want to try"- she said
"Emma, we know each other, we are nice with each other, this is our duty, we have to do it"-he kept going –"I know it feels weird seeing each other after all that time apart, but now im here, you will know that we had do this and its okay before i leave again"- he ended
"What if i still dont want to when you have to leave?"- She asked him
"We will spend time and get to know each other, for real if when my time to leave come and you still dont wanna do this, i will let you go... but you will have to talk with your parents and mine, and deal with them. If they accept it, i wont try to stop you, deal?"- he said to her.
"If they dont accept it?"- she asked this time
"Well, then you wont have a choice but marry me"- he said
"I dont care if they accept it or not, if when you leave i dont change my mind and i tell them and they dont want to, i will lock myself my room forever or runaway"- she told him and she accepted the deal, she felt that if she could show him that she was 100% sure that she didnt want him, he would at least not try to convice his parents to fight for her and maybe her parents would take it easier and after a while let her be with the one that she did want, Killian Jones.