So it looks like I am losing some of my followers for this story, which I don't know why. If you are still reading but have unfollowed OoaM or are thinking of unfollowing/unfaving, please tell me why in a review or PM. I would desperately like to know.

Act 13
"The Fourth"

I had wished it only to be a dream. Gavin's screaming, his death; I hoped it all just a figment of my imagination. I wanted Aur's actions to be just a cruel joke of the mind. Yet with the coming morning of the fourth day, I was welcomed with the fact it wasn't. The bag Dezji had handed me sat on my lap as I lay in the tree. It was a big, black nylon reminder of what had happened the other day. The District One girl had thrown Gavin into the fire we had planned for revenge for Douglas. Our plan had backfired and Gavin paid the price. Dezji didn't even seem to care; in fact he was pretty apathetic about the entire scenario. I understand not wanting us to die either, but I felt guilty for not even trying to help Gavin.

"Why must I be so emotional?" I asked myself.

Back in my district, back at home, I refrained from showing too much emotion. It was something everyone did to protect themselves in the city. You get caught by a gang and show any type of emotion, they will use it against you to hurt you. Pill defiantly would. So I tried to be just as stagnant with my emotions, at least the weaker ones, like the rest of District Eight. I may have shown aggression or vivacity, but that was it. No crying, no laughing, and defiantly no regret in front of others.

But here I was, on camera for the entire nation to see, crying and feeling regret. I had no idea what was coming over me. All I knew was that I didn't feel comfortable with what was going on, whether it was caused by my emotions or an outside force. Either way, I wanted it to stop, but I didn't know how to make it stop. How does one turn off these strange, alien things one call emotions? I didn't want to turn them all off or I might turn into Aur or Helena. Both seemed to have turned most, if not all, of their emotions off, thus being the sociopaths they are. But I didn't think I could stand all these emotions that were flooding me at once. I wanted to go back to how I was before. Could I ever?

I placed my head in my hands, trying to gather my mind, when I heard I noise from below. Looking down I noticed a boy standing below. He appeared to be searching for something as he was closely analyzing the trees' trunks. I situated myself, trying to make not much noise, so I could hide.

The boy was from District Three, as I could tell from the dark grey part of his jacket. If I remembered his name correctly, it was like Octavian or Octavio. No, it was defiantly Octavian. For some reason I couldn't remember much about him, though it was possible due to the flood of information from the last few days that my mind didn't deem him "important" enough. I could see however his neat, dark brown hair from my aerial view.

As if sensing my presence, he looked up and around. I believed I had managed to hide myself in time that he hadn't seen me. I didn't know if he had a weapon on him. I doubt he got any from the Careers, but he might have been able to make one. I peeked out from behind the thick branch I was hiding behind and noticed he had already disappeared.

That was close, I thought.

I didn't want to deal with anyone today. All I had wanted to do was wallow in my misery and find a cave. I got down from my tree, after one more look around for the District Three. Once cleared of all signs of life, I took my stuff and began to head back up the mountain. I kept the knife I managed to keep at my side. If I was jumped, it would be my only way of protecting myself.

As I walked up the mountain, I only had my mind to keep me company.

He screamed my name when he died, I thought.

I shook my head.

No I cannot think of that, I continued. Need to think of something else. My mom… Yes, when I win this I will be able to get her into a lovely house and away from the drugs. She will be fine again.

I wasn't entirely sure I was going to win or not and if I was, how it was going to happen. All I knew is that I wanted to think of something positive and that seemed the most positive thing I could think of. If I won, my mom and I could live in Victor's Village in one of the many beautiful houses. We would have a large place to live and food to eat. My mom wouldn't be around Pill any longer, so she wouldn't have her steady supply of morphling. We could have a normal life.

But then a somber idea crawled through my mind, quickly sobering me of any happiness I might have gained.

If I win, everyone has to lose.

We have already had so many people die; Elena, Nova, Seraphina, Wyatt, Othello, Claria, Anastasia, Paris, Gavin, Douglas, and Amira. And so many more would have to die to ensure my victory. Families would lose children. Siblings would be lost. Lilleth… For me to win, Dezji would have to die. Dezji was all Lilleth truly had when it came to family. I didn't know much, but I did remember Lilleth saying she had no parents. Dezji took care of her. If Dezji died, who would help Lilleth? And how many other tributes' families would be at a loss without them? The Hunger Games was even more monstrous than I had first thought. Not only were we, 12 to 18-year olds, killing each other for the mere fate of survival, we were hurting each other's families and friends. How can someone make a choice to kill another with that thought in their mind?

I made it pretty far up the mountain that day, alone with my thoughts. I even had managed to find a small, shallow cave to spend the night. It wasn't warm and it would be too noticeable to start a fire, but I made it work. It was a whole lot better than sleeping in a tree. No one had died that day either, which seemed to set my mind a rest a little bit. Still one could only imagine how the Gamemakers were taking the idea of no deaths. Only three deaths had happened after the Bloodbath, which is never a good sign. It usually means it is boring for the Capital and could only mean that the Gamemakers were about to spice things up.

Fourth day was just Calico contemplating stuff in a short chapter/act. No deaths. I was really sad killing off Gavin, as he was one of my favourites. I had actually thought of bringing him back somehow, but I killed him and I need him to remain dead for the story to continue. :(

For those wondering there is eleven (11) dead and thirteen (13) remaining. The fifth day will be split between two chapters (hopefully) and there will be a lot of deaths that day.