A/N: Hey guys, sorry I haven't updated in a few days. I was able to put this chapter up because it's basically been done for awhile now, but I don't know when I'll be able to write more. I will try tomorrow, but no promises. I don't have what you'd call confidence, and my folks have been kinda down on me about the whole writing thing. It's left me feeling rather incompetent. I'll try not to, but if I disappear for awhile that's why. Sorry, I don't want to jerk you guys around, I know how frustrating it can be to be a reader on this site. I will try, I just know myself really well so don't get your hopes up, I lost my groove for sure and I've been pretty bummed out lately. Ah well, it will pass. Thanks for the continued support.

It was weird, that was the only word for it. She had quite an extensive vocabulary, and that was the only remark that Miranda could come up with. Shepard had sat silently on her floor until she had been done reporting on the day's events. Miranda had sat still for awhile after she had finished, and hesitated because the next step was sleep. That was her plan, her routine, but then there was Shepard. She didn't know what she was supposed to do, what she was expected to say. Reluctantly she powered down her terminal, somehow knowing it would break whatever it was that was going on.

Shepard understood immediately what the motion meant, and she slowly rose to her feet. Even then, even after sitting in the cabin for nearly an hour, Miranda found Shepard still couldn't meet her eyes. She stood as well, staying behind her desk, shifting awkwardly on the balls of her feet. A slow smile spread across Shepard's face as she moved towards the exit.

"Have a good night, Miss Lawson."

Awkward. Strange. Uncomfortable. Weird.

Just plain weird.

Miranda shook her head as she trailed behind Garrus and Shepard off of the Normandy. There were hundreds of planets littered throughout the galaxy teeming with life and yet not one, but two potential recruits were lurking about on Illium, the very same planet Dr. T'Soni had claimed as home. Sometimes the universe felt very small indeed.

Shepard hesitated outside of the office door, looking a little lost. Miranda could take a guess at what was running through the woman's mind, and again there was that gnawing feeling of guilt she seemed to get whenever Liara was mentioned. She was tempted to reassure Shepard, to let her know that this reunion would not go like the rest, to reveal that it was in fact Liara herself who had begged for Shepard to be revived. Miranda had made a promise to the Asari years ago however, and she always kept her word. This particular revelation was off limits, it wasn't hers to expose.

Garrus seemed to have picked up on the indecision as well, and he gave Shepard a playful push on the back to send her a step closer to the door. "Oh go on, this isn't Ashley. This is Liara." Shepard turned her head back to give him a pleading look but he waved her forward dismissively. "We'll be waiting out here for you to come back with the information."

Shepard glanced over towards Miranda who gave a curt nod. With a deep breath, Shepard opened the doors, stepping through into the office at a tentative pace. The doors closed behind her, and then there was silence. Miranda moved to lean against the wall as Garrus shuffled impatiently from leg to leg in front of the secretary's desk. The Asari paid them little mind, but even still Miranda felt a tad out of place. She had been getting along with Garrus decently thus far, which was refreshing, but they were far from engaging in the pleasantries of small talk with one another.

Time passed slowly, at a near crawl. A few times Garrus looked as though he was going to speak, but then he would shift his eyes to the floor and shuffle about some more. Though she was grateful for the interruption of their awkward silence, there was a nervous feeling fluttering around Miranda's stomach as the door opened not fifteen minutes after Shepard had first left them. It was far too soon for any truly beneficial conversations for Shepard to have happened. Their commander returned with a solemn expression, ignoring the quizzical gaze Garrus shot in her direction.

"Both the Justicar and the assassin are still here, we'll have to move quickly to catch them though. Come on." She breezed past them down the stairs, and they followed without question.

Samara had been recruited successfully, and they had been able to escort her back to the Normandy immediately. Now Shepard and Miranda waited just outside the ship for Garrus to return with Jack. They had met more resistance than expected while hunting down the Justicar, and Shepard thought an extra member on the team wouldn't hurt, all things considered. They were all weary, but there was no time to rest lest their assassin take off without them. Shepard had asked Garrus and Miranda to return to the Normandy and send out Jacob and Grunt as replacements but they had refused, assuring Shepard that if she wouldn't be resting, they most certainly wouldn't be.

Miranda racked her brain in the silence that had fallen between her and Shepard as they waited for their companions. Shepard had been quiet since meeting with Liara, an obvious indication that things had not gone the way she had expected them too. She didn't appear as crushed as she had after being reunited with Ashley, more simply disappointed. She certainly didn't seem like a woman who had just had her heart broken, so Miranda doubted rejection had been the cause of her somber attitude. More likely it was Liara being unable to join them and Shepard wasn't taking it well.

It surprised her, how sorry Miranda felt. She wanted to offer some form of comfort, even if it were small. "Are you doing," she hesitated, losing confidence as she reminded herself friendly reassurances were never really her thing, "well?"

Shepard chuckled at the question, leaning back against the wall as she crossed her arms. "I'm not going to have a mental breakdown if that's what you're asking. I'll get the job done."

Miranda wanted to kick herself, she wished she weren't so bad at this. "No, that's not what I meant," she tried, suddenly feeling rather hot and uncomfortable. "I just-"

With a wide grin, Shepard placed a gentle hand on Miranda's forearm. "I know what you meant, and thank you but it's fine." A heat swam through Miranda at the simple gesture, but she quickly dismissed it as mere embarrassment. Shepard let her arm fall to her side. "Everything is always fine." She was smiling, but her voice was tired and heavy. Miranda found she wanted to push further, but Garrus was back, Jack at his heels.

"Okay," Their commander stood up straight, her usual imposing presence returning. "Let's find us an assassin."

As it turned out, Seryna, the asari Liara had guided them towards, would be able to take them to the base of the tower Thane would be attacking in just over an hour. With time to kill, Shepard lead them to the bar near Liara's office, and Jack immediately went for a drink. Miranda made to protest, but Shepard shut her down, claiming one drink wouldn't condemn the entire mission to failure.

"Just one," she called out to Jack's retreating figure. "I need you to be sharp."

Jack waved back at her dismissively and they moved to find a table in the crowded room. It took a few moments, but they managed to discover a relatively quiet corner to wait out the time.

"So, about before with the good doctor," Garrus said slyly nudging Shepard playfully in the arm with his elbow.

Shepard's eyes flickered across the table to Miranda briefly. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"Right, of course." He leaned in closely, whispering conspiratorially, "Help me out here though. Give me something."

Shepard tried to look annoyed, but failed miserably. She knew Garrus was trying to make her feel more at ease with the whole situation; it wasn't something she could ever truly be mad about. "Something?"

"Yeah." He chuckled. "Good? Bad?"

Shepard shook her head, running a hand through her hair tiredly before letting out a heavy sigh. "Different," she settled for at length. "Very, very, different."

Garrus looked intrigued, but said nothing more. The finality of Shepard's tone made it clear she would not tolerate any prying for much longer. Miranda watched the scene unfold silently, envious of how easily the pair read each other. Garrus knew when to meddle, and more importantly, when to stop. He was completely comfortable with Shepard, and the strength of the bond they had formed only reinforced that.

Jack was back then, drink in hand, and the conversation quickly switched gears. Shepard and Garrus were the ones who did most of the talking. Jack would burst in every once in awhile with some crude opinion or another, but Miranda remained silent. The time seemed pass slowly, and she found her mind wandering as they waited for Seryna to send word.

It happened at the worst possible time, just as they were crossing the gap between the two buildings. It was doubtful whether any of them were still bothering to keep track of how many stories up they had travelled at that point, but it didn't take much to know they were simply high, dangerously so. They were on a bridge, a narrow expanse with no railings under a hail of gunfire and at the mercy of many erratic bursts of wind. When one is going to have a mental breakdown, that probably wouldn't be the place they picked. And yet, as soon as Garrus' bullet hit the container of fuel, igniting it and sparking the fiery explosion that soon followed, Shepard hit the floor like a ton of bricks in plain view of their enemies.

There was no way her squad could have known what happened, the circumstances had been just right. The explosion, the sound it created, the heat, the way the wind had been pushing against her fiercely, all these factors twirled into a wild storm around Shepard and suddenly her eyes were closed and she was being sucked out into the endless isolation of open space with nothing to hold onto, burning up among the stars.

Miranda rushed forward as soon as Shepard went down, creating a barrier over herself and their fallen leader. "Keep them off us," she shouted over to Jack through gritted teeth as the biotic shield was relentlessly pounded with bullets. Jack hesitated for a moment, and Miranda promised herself that if she heard one smartass remark now she would be throttling the woman later. Surprisingly, Jack eventually followed Miranda's command without complaint, and set to work gathering attention in the way somebody like her so easily could. They may not be the best of friends, but Miranda had to admit nobody could cause a commotion like Jack could, and the distracting show of biotic power gave her plenty of time to drag Shepard's thrashing body behind cover.

Garrus kept his distance from Jack, and was able to take a few clean headshots on their opponents as they focused their attention on the wild woman. It wasn't long until the mercenaries where a disorganized mess and the turian was able to pick them off one by one from behind cover. Miranda returned to his side to finish the job, and together they cleared the walkway with relative ease.

Both Garrus and Miranda were back at Shepard's side in an instant, and though she kept her distance, Jack kept a concerned eye on the scene.

"What's happening to her?" Garrus cried out as he tried to pin down Shepard's arms to stop her from clawing at the exposed skin of her neck.

"She's just," Miranda responded breathlessly as she lent a hand when the turian was clearly having difficulty, "been triggered by something. I'm not sure. Perhaps being on the bridge?" She glared into the wind that was pummeling them near relentlessly. It would take less time to backtrack then to move forward. "Come on, let's get her back inside."

Garrus looked skeptical. Shepard was jerking around rather violently and the walkway was far from a wide passage, the wind making matters even more difficult. "Is that really safe?"

Miranda looked up at him, brow furrowed. "Is staying here?"

He hesitated a moment, and then nodded his understanding. "I'll try to keep her arms steady, you get her legs."

Miranda glanced up at Jack. "Make sure we have plenty of cover. I want you up front, but not too far ahead."

The room was empty when they finally made it across, save for the bodies of the enemies they had already taken down. Garrus hauled Shepard over to the wall setting her up against it, and then quickly stepping back to give Miranda space to move in. He had no idea what was going on, he had never seen Shepard like this before. She looked so frail, so unlike the woman he called friend. It felt almost wrong to be watching her, as though he were trespassing, betraying her trust. Jack seemed to be feeling the same as she looked on from beside him, an unreadable expression on her face.

Miranda knelt by Shepard, keeping the woman's hands pinned to her sides. "Hey, look at me." Shepard's eyes remained tightly shut, her face screwed up in an expression of intense pain. "Look at me, Jane."

"I can't-" Shepard's face was pale, her eyes wide an unfocused when she finally opened them. "I can't-"

"Yes you can," Miranda said as gently as she could, though the frustration in her voice was evident. This was the worst possible scenario, and Miranda cursed herself for being so relaxed. Shepard had been improving, and so she had let her guard down. Now the woman was having an episode in the middle of a mission in front of witnesses. The situation was far from ideal. "Just relax, remember where you are. You're on Illium, Shepard. You're safe."

Jack snorted. "If you don't count the hundreds of mercs that keep trying to blow her head off."

Miranda shot her an icy glare, but said nothing. Her focus needed to remain on Shepard. The woman had calmed at Miranda's words, though she was far from combat ready. Miranda chewed on her bottom lip subconsciously as she tried to work out the best course of action. They needed to get Shepard back to the Normandy, that much was clear, but they couldn't risk losing the assassin. She had to keep after him, and she couldn't do it alone.

Miranda wanted to throttle Shepard for her choice in squad. She had enough faith in Garrus to get Shepard back safe, but it was not like she could continue storming the building while trusting Jack to have her back. If the woman didn't turn on her instantly she was sure to challenge her every command at the very least. No, she would need to keep Garrus by her side to be successful, and put her confidence in Jack to take their commander to safety.

There was no easy solution, no clear choice. Miranda would have to suck it up and follow her instincts, all the while praying for the best.

Thane was a calming presence to have at her back, and she found his outlook refreshing, though clearly his interest in Shepard is was brought him onboard. He seemed as though he would be dedicated to the cause, and someone deserving of trust, though Jacob clearly didn't agree. With Shepard out of commission for the time being, it was up to him and Miranda to get the Drell settled in comfortably and Jacob was hardly subtle about his opinion of their newest teammate. Thane scarcely seemed bothered by it however, and as soon as he was tucked away in the Life Support room at EDI's suggestion, Miranda was off to the Med Bay.

Though she had been expecting it, Miranda's heart dropped at the sight that greeted her when she rounded the corner from the elevator into the mess hall. A large part of the crew was milling about, chattering amongst themselves and clearly hoping for a peek at what was happening with their commander behind closed doors. Chakwas had been respectful enough to close the shutters on the windows, but in the end, Miranda knew it wouldn't matter.

Gossip spread throughout ships like the plague, and people had obviously seen Jack bringing Shepard in. Even if she, Chakwas, and Garrus agreed to keep quiet the rest of the crew was sure to discuss it amongst themselves. Nearly every inch of the ship was being monitored, it was too late. Some small part of Miranda had been hoping she could play it off as a field injury, but it was clear now that that wouldn't work.

With a sigh, she moved towards the small crowd that dispersed incredibly quickly at the sound of her approach. Miranda stepped into the Med Bay, welcomed by the sight of Shepard passed out on one of the beds, sleeping soundly. Chakwas stood at Miranda's arrival, looking concerned. "Did everything go okay? What happened out there? Jack practically dragged her in here without offering too much of an explanation."

Miranda nodded stiffly. "The mission was a success." Her eyes darted back over to Shepard, combing her form intently with a piercing gaze. "Is there a reason Shepard should be staying overnight?"

Chakwas shook her head. "Not at all, physically she's perfectly healthy. I can't really tell you what happened. Jack walked her on board without a problem and they made it all the way to the Mess Hall before Shepard went nuts. I guess Gardner dropped something? Jack really didn't say much, she took off as soon as we got Shepard sedated. I tried to talk her out of it first but I was afraid she might hurt herself if I waited too long." She motioned for Miranda to follow her over to the bed where Shepard lay. The commander was out of her armor now, and sedated as she was Chakwas had little trouble pushing her lightly onto her side so Miranda could get a good view of her neck. "Look at this mess."

There were an abundance of scratches all along Shepard's neck, the skin red and raw, obviously cleaned up by Chakwas at that point but Miranda could tell there had once been blood. "What happened to get her in this state?"

Miranda hesitated for a moment, debating her options. Her impulse was to hide the information, especially when she knew very well there were bugs recording every sound she made in that room. Still, it was far too late for secrets. The cameras would have already picked up Shepard's meltdown in the mess hall. The word was out, Shepard was mentally unsound, and Miranda was sure to be hearing from her employer very soon. There was no point in hiding it any longer, and so Miranda told Chakwas everything she knew.

It was out of her hands now, and though Miranda was not sure what was going to happen, she highly doubted it would be anything good.