Days had passed since Neal´s proposal and Emma still cant come to really think about it, getting marry with Neal cant be an option, it has to be another way, she wants there to be another way but each day her hopes die a little more, Killian could be so far away, who knows where and with who. The pain in her heart keeps growing but she cant cry anymore, she doesnt have the strenght to even do that, to do much at all, everything around her seems senseless, gray and sad, she doesnt care, she is only surviving, only pretending , only fake smiling.

Everytime she falls asleep she dreams of him, of them, together. Sometimes memories, sometimes fantasies, sometimes dirty dreams and she wakes up wet and needy but over all, sad and heartbroken, a big part of her wishes that at least he would left her something, something that she could hold on to, a child , their child, she smiles at the mere thought of a baby, his baby growing inside of her, a little boy just like his daddy but no, she isnt pregnant, theres no child and maybe there will never will, not if he doesnt ever come back, not if she doesnt even see him again and then she cries but not tear falls, they are all gone, gone like him.

-...-...-...-...-...-.

So many days had passed, so much more that he would like to count. He thought he would be back sooner, otherwise he wouldnt leave her like that, just with a note but he hoped that she would be okay, not angried at him but excitedly waiting for him. He missed her so much, her smile , her voice, her skin, he couldnt wait for the moment to have her in his arm again, to kiss her, to love her and make her his over and over. Remembering that Neal was still around, probably, didnt make him happy and he hated that he had to leave her with him on her castle but this needed to be done, this could be real important for all of them. He couldnt wait to see his princess, his lovely swan again, he could imagine her big smile at moment she sees him, running to embrace him and never wanting to let go.

-...-...-...-...-...-...-

Every morning after waking up and wanting to go back to sleep and dream of him forever, Emma got up and leaned against the window and watched the beautiful port view, she couldnt help the little excitement and hope everytime she saw a ship coming by, but soon enough she realized that she didnt even know in what ship he left since his crew and ship wasnt on town. She just stopped believing that he would come back, or at least wouldnt get her hope too hight until she sees him in her own eyes.

Moments later, she joined her parents and Neal to have breakfast, she didnt eat much as usual, since he left , food didnt seem too tasty, she had lost some pound-weight.

"Your highness, someone is coming"- Rosie ran to tell them

"What? Who?"- David asked her

"I dont know, i just saw someone was coming and i wanted to let you know, your highness"- she said, trying to recover her breath. They all got up from the table and went to the door´s hall in order to see who was the person or people coming.

She couldnt believe, she must be dreaming, it was him. He came back! He is standing infront of her, with that smile that she missed so much, she felt her heart start beating again, her blood running warm. She sighed, relief that her fear vanished and he was back!

"Your highness"- he greeted them and turned to look at her –"Princess" with a grin in his face

Emma felt a smile growing on her face but then in that exact moment, all of the fear and pain from those last horrible days that turned into relief and happiness a second ago, turned now, into anger and frustration... he came back! How dare he!- She just started at him, without saying or doing anything, she notices the disappointment in his face but she couldnt come to care, not now.

"You came back! We were waiting for you, captain"- David said, breaking the spell and silence between them

"Aye, it took a while but im here, in case you still want me"- he joked and David and Snow laughed but Emma didnt, she was frozen, she was lost. She turned to her parents

"Im sorry, can i leave? Im done here"- she asked, trying to control the shaking of her voice

"Sure, honey, go to your duties"- Snow told her and Emma gave her a little smile, waved to them, looked at Killian with coldness once more and walked past him.

-...-...-...-...-...-.

She didnt want to go to their place, she knew he would find her there so instead she went to the lake and stood there, looking at the water. She felt so strange and confussed, she waited for him for days, wanting nothing more that have him back but now he was, she couldnt get over the anger and disappointment.

She felt a horse coming close and steps walking toward her but she didnt turn around, she didnt move, until she felt his warm hand on her shoulder.

"Emma, love, are you okay?"- he asked her softly and his face fell when she abrutply moved away, not facing him yet.

"What are you doing here?"- she asked, she swallowed hard, her hands were shaking and she couldnt look at him

"Is something wrong? I thought you would be happy to see me, after our little break"- he said, walking toward her again. She laughed at the "little break"

"Little break... Why are you here, why did you come back!"- she asked, turning around to look at his eyes, she was blushing for the anger

"You.."- he swallowed – ". you are not glad that i did"- he said, almost whipering and looking down to the floor, his heart breaking into pieces

"No"- was all she said and she walked past him, giving him her back to his, looking at him was too much to handle

"Why, what happened?"- he said, turning around to face her back but she didnt say anything –"Emma"- he touched her shoulder again and she moved again this time too but faced him

"What you were expecting? For me to stay in bed crying for you into your pillow?"- she said, sarcastically, hating that it was pretty much what really happened

"What... Im confussed..."- he said, looking down, shaking his head

"You left! You left me! And now you come back, just like nothing happened!"- she kept yelling, she couldnt help it. He tried to talk but she cut him-

"Im sorry, pirate, but i didnt... You thought you could leave without a word and that i would wait for you forever, you were mistaken... you came back but you are late,way too late, i already took Neal´s proposal... Im gonna marry him and theres nothing you can do about it"- her voice was really shaking, so her hands, her whole body, tears threating to form, she couldnt do this, she needed to run.

"What! You didnt get my note? Wait, what -he propos- you said yes"- he said the last part weakly, almost whispering, as if it couldnt be real, this couldnt be happening... anger, dissapoint, his heart never hurt as much

"Note?"- she asked, as if it was the one thing she heard but he didnt seem to listen to her.

"And i thought you loved me"- he said, anger and hurt all over his face and walked away, passing her, and leaving her with a broken heart all over again but this time, his heart broke into millions pieces too, she was gone, he lost her and there was not turning back.

A/N: next will be longer and it will be posted on saturday, see ya :)