A/N: Oh my gosh, when I wrote 'to each his own' it was no problem, but when I changed 'his' to 'her' word underlined it as wrong. EXCUSE ME. SEXIST. Haha I think I'm getting a wee bit too tired, this is the last 2 am write up I do. Phew.

So there's not exactly a hug but…well…

P.S it is 2 am so…what is grammar?

"Hold on," Shepard mumbled, digging into a pocket with ferocity. Miranda watched with interest. She had suggested they return to the Normandy to get back on schedule, tracking down the remaining candidates for their squad, but apparently Shepard had other ideas. "Here we are," Shepard called out triumphantly, holding up her hand before Miranda's eyes. "I found this while you were tossing that one guy around the cargo lot earlier."

Miranda inspected the chain dangling from between Shepard's clenched fingers. A worn looking locket hung off the end, scratched and dirty. "Wow," Miranda offered. "That looks…cheaply made. I hope you weren't expecting to pawn that off for much."

Shepard chuckled heartily at her confusion. "No. Remember when we were heading through the shopping center to meet your contact?" She didn't wait for a response. "We overheard that asari on a comm looking for a token from her bondmate. I think I found it," she stated excitedly, clearly ecstatic with her good fortune at tracking down such a miniscule object. All it took was a raised eyebrow from Miranda for Shepard's hand to fall, her cheeks tinged pink in her embarrassment. "I thought we could, uh, try to go track her down again before we left. You know, return it to her."

"Yes," Miranda replied sardonically. "That will bring us one step closer to defeating the Collectors for good."

A smirk spread across Shepard's face. "No need for sarcasm, Miss Lawson. It's the lowest form of wit."

"Come on," Miranda relented with an over exaggerated sigh. "I know you're going to force me into it anyhow."

Shepard was sporting a full on grin now. "That's the spirit. We'll be committing our good deed for the day."

She took off towards the archway they had entered through not so long ago, heading for the elevator that would take them back towards the main plaza. Miranda fell into step behind her, finding a smile gracing her own lips. "Were you always this infuriatingly helpful, or did I mess that up during reconstruction as well?"

Shepard hummed in amusement as they moved forward together, but her expression seemed almost solemn. "Don't worry, I've been nosing into other people's business since the day I was born."

"You do seem to enjoy prying," Miranda replied wistfully as she pondered just what was on Shepard's mind.

A thoughtful expression crossed Shepard's face. "Does that bother you?" They had reached the elevator, and stood side by side as it lifted them skyward.

Miranda was silent for a moment as she debated between kindness and honesty. It was odd, how comfortable she found herself, how willing to tell the truth she had become. "Perhaps it did in the beginning." She offered a small smile. "I suppose I've grown accustomed to the intrusions over time given your persistence."

"Well," Shepard said teasingly with a shrug, "you know what they say about familiarity."

"It breeds contempt?" Miranda deadpanned.

Shepard let loose a hearty laugh at that. "I was shooting for 'liking', but to each her own I suppose."

The low drone of the elevator ceased as they reached their destination, and the doors opened to release them back into familiar territory. They had only been planetside for a little over two days and yet they were beginning to know the area quite intimately. Shepard lead the way as she retraced the steps they had taken earlier that day, hoping to bump into the asari or someone who would at least be able to point them in the right direction.

"After we deliver the pendant, there's a store I want to make a quick stop at," Shepard offered conversationally as they pressed on.

Miranda scoffed. "I'm going to take a stab in the dark and assume it won't be beneficial to our mission in any way."

Shepard grinned. "See? I'm glad we're really starting to get to know one another well."

She was shaking her head in exasperation, though Miranda found she really wasn't as bothered as she should be. "So what will we be purchasing?"

"Prejek Paddle Fish. I saw them at that store Memories of Illium. You know, that one with the asari and her krogan boyfriend?"

Miranda rolled her eyes. "Trust me, I remember them." She laughed then. "I can't believe your main priority is buying as many fish as possible."

"Probably shouldn't have given me a luxury suite with a built in fish tank, huh?" Shepard shot back sharply, though the playful nature of her tone was clear.

"I hope you realize I wasn't personally in charge of designing your quarters," Miranda defended.

"No, I suspect there would be a lot more fancy reading material if you had been," Shepard mused as her mind wandered over to the stacks of binders, books, and datapads she usually found scattered about the various surfaces around Miranda's cabin upon entering.

"Do other people honestly find you humorous?" Miranda retorted without missing a beat.

"Less than I'd like," Shepard admitted with a smile. She opened her mouth to say more, but apparently interrupted her own thought process as she caught sight of their quarry across the room. "Look, she's still hanging around," she called back to her companion as she rushed on ahead.

Miranda felt an odd feeling of disappoint run through her as she trailed along. She wanted to hear what Shepard had to say, she had been pleased by their back and forth. Being there, dashing about Illium and causing a bit of mischief, she had actually been enjoying herself.

Miranda was having fun.

Shepard carefully held the plastic bag in her hands, gripping the knot at the top tightly with one while the other gingerly cupped the bottom. Three of the oddly shaped flat blue fish swam contentedly inside, waiting to be released into their new home. They had to move slowly, Shepard insisted, so as not to jostle their newest teammates around too much. Miranda found she didn't mind the pace they had set. For some reason, she found herself reluctant to return to the Normandy at all.

"I'll have to come up with names," Shepard mused quietly as they headed back to where their ship was docked. "That's always the hard part."

"You won't even be able to tell them apart," Miranda reasoned.

"Oh hush," Shepard scolded lightly. "A mother knows."

They passed through a doorway, and found themselves passing the stairs that lead up to Liara's office. Miranda slowed as she noticed Shepard glancing up. "Would you like to speak with her once more before we depart?"

Shepard paused mid step, clearly weighing her options. Miranda waited patiently for a response, finding herself actually invested in the answer. There was a part of her that wanted to curse herself for even asking. She didn't want to delay their mission any longer than they had too. She didn't want to wait around outside while Shepard spoke with the asari. She didn't want to be stuck there, stupidly holding the fish. She didn't want to hear that the two had managed to work things out.

She didn't want Shepard to want to talk to Liara.

They were talking. They were returning lost objects to grieving aliens and reuniting quarreling couples and buying overpriced fish. There was no reason for anyone else to be involved. Possessiveness raced through her.

"I don't know," Shepard said at last. "I shouldn't bother her. She probably is really busy."

Miranda's eyes narrowed. "That doesn't stop you from barging through my door whenever you please."

Shepard chuckled, though there was little actual mirth to be found in her eyes. "Yeah but you can't turn me away, dealing with me is a part of your job description." She shifted her weight from leg to leg, gripping the bag in her hands more tightly. "Anyway, I don't think it's a good idea."

Miranda hesitated, a question on her lips begging to be asked. She was scared. Miranda didn't want to offend Shepard. She didn't want to push her limits, to cross any boundaries.

She didn't want to know the answer, and she didn't quite understand why.

"Do you still have feelings for her?"

Shepard was surprised. Not by Miranda's bluntness, the woman was very to the point; she had grown used to that. It was her interest at all. Perhaps she believed the strained relationship could affect Shepard's mental state, which in turn would negatively impact the mission as a whole. Or perhaps it was something else altogether.

"Of course I still care about her," Shepard replied. "I just," she hesitated, "it's complicated."

Miranda felt her heart beat faster as she offered a meaningful look. She wanted Shepard to continue. She wanted to be the one secrets were trusted to, the one confidence was placed in.

"It's just, she was an archeologist," Shepard blurted out suddenly. "A shy, scholarly…" she shook her head, clearly crippled by shame. It didn't take long for Miranda to realize that this had been a long time coming. These words had been weighing heavily on Shepard's mind, she had been dying to let them out. "You know, I doubt she had a bad thought to think about anyone growing up. She was so innocent, so kind. I doubt she had ever pointed a gun at a living being, and then," Shepard faltered, swallowed hard, "and then she met me." Emotion rang through each word uttered. "God, look at her now."

Miranda glanced around uncomfortably. They were in the midst of an area heavy with foot traffic, and at the foot of the stairs belonging to the asari herself. Gently, she motioned with Shepard to move with her to a more secluded area, far from the information broker's place of business.

"I'm sorry," Shepard said as she followed. "I shouldn't have said that. Let's just get back on board, everyone is waiting for us." A crippling wave of mortification at the outburst was flushing through her cheeks ferociously.

"Wait," Miranda tried, feeling bold. She placed a reassuring hand on Shepard's arm, silently asking her to stay through touch. "Don't be embarrassed, please." She glanced down, eyes tracing the dirty tiles of the well traveled floor. "Shepard, today I trusted you with the single most important aspect of my life. I wish you would feel comfortable doing the same."

Shepard stared over at her, face softening at the admission. "It's not that I don't trust you, Miranda. Please, you have to believe that." Miranda glanced up, letting their eyes meet. "It's just me being stupid, that's all. I can't even explain what I'm feeling because I don't understand it myself. I don't think I'd be able to express it to you coherently at all."

"Try," Miranda pressed in an almost whisper.

Shepard gave her a pleading look, but Miranda stood fast. She couldn't force Shepard to reveal anything to her, but she wanted to prove to Shepard that she was willing to listen, that she was worth confiding in. Finally, a heavy sigh escaped Shepard's lips. "When we first met, I clung to her."

Miranda nodded, encouraging her to continue. Though she was obviously reluctant, Shepard obeyed. "I drew her into this world because I felt myself slipping deeper and deeper into the darkness. I was swept up into catching Saren, taken completely off guard by the whole ordeal." Her eyes fell to the floor as she admitted everything she promised herself she never would. "I was a soldier, Miranda. I followed orders and did my duty and served with dignity until suddenly the entire universe was on my shoulders." She audibly swallowed. "I was so scared," Shepard confessed after a lengthy pause. "Everyone was counting on me."

A soft smile spread across her face. "And then I met Liara. She was so her. Just talking to her, you knew there wasn't a single sin she was guilty of." Her eyes darted back up to meet Miranda's once more. "You don't meet people like that in this messed up universe, you know? It's not just rare, it's damn near impossible. But then there was Liara, and I couldn't stop myself from being selfish. I knew the way she felt about me, how much she admired me, and I fell in love with that." Suddenly a bitter laugh escaped her lips. "I went on my merry way, hunting down Geth, blowing up facilities, and smothering all of the darkness I'd been doing with her overwhelming light. Every death I caused could be solved by her innate sense of good because if someone like Liara T'Soni could love me then how could I possibly be doing wrong?"

There were a few moments of silence between them, and then Shepard continued sullenly. "I used her, and I lead her to this. What she's become, it's my responsibility." Miranda winced at the comment, she was well rehearsed with that sentiment. Shepard shook her head, shame overcoming her. "So yes, to answer your question, I do have feelings for her. I feel a hell of a lot of guilt."

Miranda took a step forward, having to fight hard to stop herself from physically reaching out. Shepard looked so distraught, so broken before her. "You can't do that to yourself," she tried lamely. "You can't force yourself to take responsibility for an adult making their own decisions."

Shepard gave her a guarded look. "I can when it was the decision to rescue me that brought her to this point."

"Shepard," Miranda practically sighed out, at a loss for what to do or say. She hated being so poor with situations such as these. The subtle nuances of comfort were so very foreign. She suddenly found herself longing for the days when none of this would have mattered to her, when she would have rolled her eyes and strutted off without a word. The days before Shepard.

"Sorry," Shepard apologized again, rubbing at the back of her neck with her free hand gently so as not to agitate her still healing wounds. "You don't have to say anything, I just needed to get that off my chest. Thanks."

"Wait," Miranda tried again. Shepard looked up at her expectantly, waiting for the rest of the sentence Miranda quickly realized she didn't have prepared. She shifted, panicking as she struggled to find the right words.

"Miranda, you don't have to-"

Shepard was cut off as Miranda moved closer, knowing she had to speak before she lost her nerve. "I understand. I get it. Guilt, responsibility…" her voice wavered as she trailed off, uncertain as to how Shepard would react to the information.

"Miranda," Shepard said sadly, concern etched across her features. A warmth spread through Miranda at Shepard's gaze. There was kindness in her eyes, a deep pool of compassion that she had the privilege of knowing was explicitly for her. "The things going on with me aren't your fault. You had no way of knowing the repercussions of bringing me back, you said so yourself." She hesitated, her eyes flickering away for a moment before courage drew their gaze back to meet Miranda's. "Before, you mentioned messing up during reconstruction. You don't really believe that, do you?"

Miranda's silence, the way she suddenly could not bring herself to hold Shepard's stare, those things were answer enough. Shepard shook her head sorrowfully, and reached her free hand out to place a gentle grip on Miranda's shoulder. "I don't. Not in the slightest." She let her grasp fall, her fingers trailing lightly down the length of Miranda's arm. Instead of pulling away like the rational part of her mind was begging her to, Miranda found herself leaning into the touch. Unconsciously, she moved forward, hardly registering the inappropriateness and utter unprofessionalism of the motion because miraculously, marvelously, Shepard seemed to be doing the same.

"I was gone, Miranda," Shepard's voice was an unsteady whisper, the ghost of its usual self. "Not just dead. Gone." She closed her eyes, warding away the unpleasant memories that threatened to arise. "There was no afterlife, no heaven I can remember. It was just empty. There wasn't even light or darkness, it was just nothing. An infinite void of nonexistence." Her eyes reopened and she found Miranda just inches away.

"You rescued me, remade me." Cautiously, she raised her hand again, ghosting her fingers along Miranda's cheek. She waited for the woman to pull away, but the moment never came. "All of the freak outs and breakdowns, they're nothing. They don't matter because all they mean is that I can feel. I can hurt again."

A weight lifted off Miranda as the words flowed through her because this was Shepard standing before her, telling her she wasn't angry. She wasn't bitter, wasn't resentful. She didn't hate Miranda for bringing her back.

She was grateful.

"I exist." Shepard gave a relieved chuckle at the notion, and as Miranda found the sound rather infectious at that moment, their breath mingled between them.

Suddenly, there was way too much going on to handle because Shepard was tantalizingly close and her hand had trailed along Miranda's skin until it reached the back of her neck, tugging her forward ever so slightly. Her mind was all but blank as she succumbed to the heat coursing within her, shifting forward to achieve that moment where their bodies finally met.

Except Shepard really should not have felt quite so squishy.

Reality weighed down upon them as Miranda pulled back slightly to glance down at the plastic bag that had gotten trapped between them. The fish inside were darting about quickly, panicking as their environment compressed around them. Immediately Shepard's touch disappeared and they stood paces apart, staring one another down, faces flushed, breathing heavy.

Shepard was the first to recover, swallowing hard while her eyes darted about the room almost nervously. "We uh, should get back, probably, like now." Her voice was tight, her words sharp and clipped. Miranda managed a nod, but little else as her mind swam with humiliation. Shepard backed away a few paces before turning and making for the docking bay with haste, apparently no longer caring just how jostled her purchase was. Miranda waited a bit before following, wanting to keep as much space between them as possible.

She hated how out of control she had felt, how instinctive her actions had been. She hated herself for being so completely idiotic and giving in. She hated Shepard for putting her in that position, for leading her so completely into that state. She hated how drained she felt, how entirely out of sorts she had become.

Most of all though, more than anything, she absolutely despised Prejek Paddle Fish.