A/ N: Okay, sorry for the tardiness. This is not the end i wanted but i will post the next part tomorrow. Hope you like it :)
After talking with Rose and finding out about the stolen note, Emma joined her parents and him to dinner, she couldnt be more graceful that Neal was still out of the way, he´s been out the whole day.."where the hell was he?" she should ask if she actually give a damn about it. She couldnt help herself by eyeing him as much as she could without her parents noticing it and her heart stopped every time his gaze met hers but it never lasted too long, he pretended that he wasnt looking at her and teared his eyes away, it was sad but she was about to fix this, to make it better, she was antsy and nerveous, this sure wouldnt be as easy as she wanted it to be, but it had to be done and she was not about to give up that easily, not when it come to him, to them.
-...-...-...-...-...-...
After dinner was over, she said good night to her parents and went to her room, waited enough for them to go to theirs so she could sneak out, thank god the castle was really big and her parents bedroom was really far from hers. Once she got to their secret place, she was hoping to meet him there already, but the house was empty, so she sat on the bed and waited for him...
Almost 2 hours later and he didnt come, she was drawing on a piece of paper she found there, to kill the time and her nerves, without even thinking she was painting him, his beautiful eyes, the way they looked so bright, so full of love when he looked at her, she smiled lost in them, those that she loved so much that she missed the noises of his steps and when she looked up, he was standing beside the bed, their bed.
"You came"- she said almost as if she couldnt believe it, giving him a little smile
"Aye, I guess I did"- He said, tearing his gaze from hers again and looking at the piece of paper on her hand –"You are getting better"- he commented, without even intending, he sure wasnt there to compliment her, but he couldnt help it, especially not when he saw that she was painting him.
"Thank you"- she smiled again, not sure what else to say or where to start.
"Sorry about the tardiness, I"
"Its okay"- she cut him and stood up –"you came, thats all it matters"- she smiled and took her draw and put it on the desk around the corner. –"So..."
"What do you want"- he said, remembering where they were standing, it felt weird being there together again but not being together for real, looking at her made him almost forget that she was betrothed to someone else and things between them were done.
"I, I want to talk to you"- she said, walking closer
"I gather that, princess, because if you actually want something else , you"
"Killian, please"- she cut him again –"Sit... please"- she pointed the bed and he doubt but obligued sitting on the edge and she sat beside him, keeping her distance affraid that he would move away if she was too close. –"I, god! I dont even know where to start"- she hide her face in her hands, that were shaking, he turned to his side, facing her. He could feel her nervers and it was almost too tempting to get closer and hug her, almost but he didnt.
"What about the beggining"- he tried to joke to ease the thick air
"Hmm right!"- she smiled a little –"I, Im sorry, Im so sorry, Killian"- she looked at his eyes and begged for him to see true in them and to not look away, like he kept doing since he came back –"I didnt mean to hurt you, I was so stupid.. oh god, I made a mistake, a big one, and I just want to take it back, I wanna be with you"- she finished and her heart ached with need, need of him holding her in his arms again.
"Its too late, Emma"- he was cold but inside he was dying, looking at her like that but there was nothing that could fix this.
"Its not, it never is when it comes to you, to us"- she said, tears forming in her eyes –"Just listen to me, please. If after everything I say, you still hate me and cant forgive me, I will understand, but please dont go, dont leave me until Im finish"- she begged and he nodded.
"Start, then"- he hated himself for being so cold and distant but he didnt know what else he could do at the moment.
"Im so sorry for messing with Neal and"- she stopped when he looked away at the mention of his name, his jaw clenched –"Wait, dont. This isnt about him"- she looked down , took a deep breathe, trying to find the right words to explain him, then she looked at him again "When you left, when you left me I was lost, I was so broken...I thought, I believed that you hated me, that I would never see you again"- tears started rolling down, she couldnt help to feel emotional at mere memory –"I thought that I would be trapped in this empty castle without you, forever"- she wipped her tears, trying to hold in the sobing and she kept going "I cried, I cried so much, until I couldnt anymore, Killian. You were gone and there was nothing I could do and I was dying, I was dying inside because I need you, because I love you"- she never parted her gaze from his, even if her sight was blurring for her tears and she was thankful that he didnt look or move away- " I love you as I never imagined that a woman could love but I do, with every beat of my heart... and you were gone, it hurt, it was the biggest pain I ever felt" –tears rolling down again.
"Emma, I"- he wanted to explain himself, he wanted to hold her so bad, wip those tears from her face but he couldnt move, he needed to listen, to understand.
"Please, dont say anything, listen to me first"- she cut him again and he stayed quiet, allowing her to continue –" they were the longest 10 days of my life, nothing had sense, all I wanted it was you, to see you again, to hear you, to feel you again, just one"- she started sobing, hiding her face on her hand "Just one more time"- she looked up, her eyes were deep red but she needed for him to look at them, to believe her. He moved closer and he hasitated but his hand found hers, esqueezing it. There was so much that he wanted to do, but this was only half of the story and he needed it all. "When I finally saw you again, when you came back"- she gave him a little smile, squeezing his hand tighter –"I was so relieved, I could feel my heart beating again, for you, only for you" – she smiled a little bigger and then it fade away and looked down –"But then I couldnt help the anger, how could you leave me, hurt me like that?! How could you do that to me!"- she said and tears never stopped falling and she sobbed again
"Emma"
"I was stupid and stubborn but it hurt, it hurt so much and I was angry, Im sorry, Im so sorry"- she couldnt help the sobbing once again, deepest this time and it was to much for Killian to hold back, she was tearing apart infront of his eyes and it was because of him, he did that to her and it broke him, more than words could explain, so, he moved forward and held her, as tight as he could, embracing her in his arms.
"Shhh, its okay, is going to be okay, Emma"- he said softly, stroking her hair but her sobbing didnt cease, it only grew, and she cried until she couldnt breathe anymore, until there was nothing left inside, or it seemed. She finally moved and looked up, she was affraid of what she would find in his eyes, mere pitty? There was not love anymore? He moved away but their legs were still almost touching –"If this is to much, we can stop, we can talk later"
"No, I need to tell you. Please"- and he nodded, sqeezing her tight, waiting for her to keep going.
" So, I lied"- she said, and realizing her big mistake broke her own heart all over again but he looked at her in confusition "About Neal..."- she took a deep breahte and swallowed and continued –" I didnt take his proposal, I lied, Im sorry"- she looked at him, begging inside for him to undertand but he looked so hurt and he moved away and stood up.
"You lied! You lied!"- he yelled, turning around to face her and she stood up too
"Im sorry, I"
"How could you lie to me about that, how could you want to hurt me like that!"- he moved closer and grabbed her arms - " you have any idea what that did to me, Emma?!"
"I know, I know, Im sorry and I know that it isnt enough but just tell me what I can do to make this right and I will, please"- she sobbed again and he let go of her and gave her his back –"I wanted to hurt you because I thought that you wanted to hurt me first"- he just looked at her, it was to much and she sat down, falling on the bed and she cried –"you have every right to hate me, Im so stupid, Im just a stupid little princess, you deserve better than me...I ruined it, I ruined everything, Im not worth it"- she said between sobs.
"Dont say that and dont you dare to believe that for a second"- he moved closer and kneeled infront of her –"I cant believed that you lied about... but he did propose then?"- he asked
"But I didnt say yes, even if I believed that I would never see you again, I couldnt do it, I just couldnt"- she said, tears kept rolling down –"All I wanted, all I needed was you"- softness on her voice and she stroked his face, he closed his eyes and lost in her touch but then stood up and moved away again. "Im sorry, just tell me what I can do to make this okay, anything and I will, I will do for you, for you to love me again"- she begged
"theres nothing you can do"- he saw her heart breaking in her eyes –"I mean, I never stopped, I never stopped loving you"- he said almost whispering, almost as if it hurt.
"Killian, I"- she got up and walked toward him but he backed off –" I was stupid to believe that you would leave without a word and im sorry about that too, I should known better, I´d had ask you when you came back, I was too blind and proud to do it and I understand, I do"- she sat down of the bed again and he turned around, he couldnt stand it, she sounded so broken, defeated.
"You didnt sleep with him then"- he asked, he couldnt help himself, he needed to know
"No! I did not, I never said I did but I let you believe it because just the thought of you being with else, I" – she couldnt help the jealousy running throught her veins
"Emma"- he tried to explain.
"I know, I know you lied too, I know you wouldnt do that. I believe in you, in us. Even if its too late, even if you already realized that Im not worth it, that you deserve better"- she said with pain.
"Stop doing that! Stop the self pitty!"- he yelled –" you are beautiful and smart, you are strong and capable"- he sat on the bed again too, keeping his distance –"And you were right, im nothing but a pirate. And you are a princess, the most amazing princess there could exist"- he looked down and she pained, she did that, damn her!- she moved closer and her hand rested on his tight, making him look up at her .
"You are the one I love, and I love every single part of you"- she smiled –"you the most amazing man I ever met and I couldnt ask for someone like you to love someone like me"
"Emma"- he said exasperated, looking at her eyes
"Okay, okay, I will stop if you stop too"- she smirked a little –"You are amazing, Killian, dont ever doubt yourself. I know who you are, Killian Jones, I can see the man of honor in you, you are brave, smart, strong, good and yes, also so very dashing"- she grinned –" even if I cant fix this, I will always love you, theres no other I could ever want or love, you are the one, you are my soul mate, my true love and theres nothing or no one that can change that"- she said and before she had time to react, his lips crashed against hers, and he kissed her, with passion but mostly with love.
And it felt good, it always felt so good, but in that moement more than ever, after everything it still felt amazing. It started as a hard kiss, full of passion but unlike their usual, soon enough it turned into a slow tender one, making it last, tasting each other. they missed each other so much, they needed each other more than they realized and feeling each other always felt like reaching for the sky.
"Oh god! I miss you"- she said, breathless, her forehead resting against his- "can you forgive me?"- she asked unsure
"Emma, how could you believe that i wanted to hurt you, that blamed you for that idiot kissing you? That i could leave without a word"- he asked, after he pulled away to look at her
"I know! Im such a idiot, I was hurt, I couldnt see it but i know that did leave a note and Rose found a little piece of it today"- she said and he walked away again
"And thats why you wanted to talk, because you have proof"- he said, turning his back on her
"No! I went to talk to you before she even found it. She was the one coming when I was in you room and it was after that when she showed it to me, here it is"- she showed the little piece on her hand " Please, you have to believe me"
"Aye, but thats just a little piece of it, what makes you think that its mine"- he asked after he saw it. She looked at him with a questioning look –"It is, but why do you believe so"
"I told you, i already knew before she came to me. It was this morning, here in this bed"- she sat on it again –"I just remembered our time together and ... I realized how stupidly mistaken I was, how much I love you, I need you and I cant let you go"
"Somebody took it"- he didnt need to ask, his jaw clenched
"Maybe, maybe it got into the dirty clothes by accident. If i would only found it"- she said
"Emma, love"- he sat beside her, his leg touching hers and she felt the warmth back on her heart when he called her love again, its been a while, she smiled –"Im so sorry for hurting you like that, you have to know that I never meant it. All of this started because of me, it was my mistake but I needed to leave before it was too late and I feared that I would miss the people I had to talk to and I really really thought that you would be coming back soon, it was late and I waited long for you. I would want to leave it to Rose but she went to her parents bedroom and it never crossed my mind that someone could take it, Im sorry"- he gave her an apologetic look
"I understand, only my mother and Rose are allow to getting in my bedroom. It wasnt Rose, she is the one helping me and it wasnt my mother either, I would see her acting weirdly and she would not take it without a word... I dont know who could"
"Oh Emma! who was the one to proposed to you!"- he said. She was so naive sometimes, she wanted to believe in good in people but he would never blame her for that, he loved her because of that.
"You think he did it? He is my friend, he wanted to help me, he did help...alot"- she said, she didnt want to believe that Neal would actually do that to her.
"hm I will find out. So, did you talk to him about it"- he asked
"About? About what?"-
"You called him your betrothed infront of me, does he know that you were lying, have you talked to him?"
"Oh, yeah, of... course"- she didnt sound too secure of her words, he could tell.
"Emma..."
"Dont worry, he knows. I will talk to him when I see him"- he nodded and they both stayed quiet for a little while, not sure of what to say or to do- "I will never marry someone else, its you or no one. I miss you, Killian. I love you so much. Im sorry"- she said with tears in her eyes again, he moved closer and his hand went to her face, she closed her eyes in anticipation, tears rolling down and he wipped them and stroked her face softly, she opened her eyes and he was so close, it was hard to breathe and her heart beat fast.
"Its okay, it will be okay... I love you, Emma, so much"- he said and she closed her eyes again, waiting for him to kiss her and thank god! He did, his lips were softly pressing against hers, it was beautifully slow, the world seemed to stop and there was nothing to say, theres nothing and nobody else than them, their hearts beating as one and love, all the love they feel, that it seemed too big to keep inside, too big for words to explain. He sided his head to deepen the kiss, he took her lower lip between his and she moaned slightly, her hands on his hair, holding him as close as she could, she needed it.
"We can work this out"- he said, breathless, pulling away to look at her red eyes –"No more lies, not more hiding from each other, i will never be stupid again to leave without saying a word to you first"
"Not more lies, stubborness or stupidy and you can not leave without me ever again"- she smiled, resting her forehead against his once more –"Deal?"
"Deal"- he barely finished when she crushed her lips against his again
A/N: I hope I made justice to explain their reasons and this fanfic will be like 35-ish chapters so, but i added another one to the list, theres so much to come, im excited! Reviews inspire me to write faster, thank you for reading.