Chapter 7 – Yum Yums / uhhh…UGHEUGHACKghlu

From Olivia Walkins' residence, Yomotsu was driven by Yuri to the long-awaited grocery store. The trip there was full of Daft Punk, the smell of their own sweat, red lights, and pedestrians crossing the street in front of them. It must have taken some honest restraint for Yuri to not step on the gas when he saw them, judging by the way he grumbled and complained.

Yomotsu listened to Yuri marvel at this cute little town: Graceville, the quintessential little suburban haven. He noted that, with few exceptions, all the houses were painted with cheery colors and had beautifully maintained lawns. The people who were walking to and fro on the sidewalk seemed rather carefree.

"It is as though this town is on an entirely different planet from the rest of the world, especially Sternbild," Yuri said.

Whereas Sternbild sickened him with its consistent clinging to cheap thrills and overdramatized heroism, Yuri commented that Graceville was more about modern minimalism and quaint pleasantries than excitement. While he had still not gone on a full drive through the town, what he had seen so far had thus given him a positive impression.

Yomotsu did not have much to add to the conversation. He liked the town, too, but he knew that the people here were blissfully unaware of the great evil that was lurking in the shadows of their happy town. Yuri thought it was peaceful—but Yomotsu and his Diary knew that something evil was coming on the horizon.

When they pulled into the parking lot, it was close to full. Yomotsu suggested they just take an empty spot towards the back, but Yuri hushed him and crept around the parking lot until he managed to lock in a spot just after a car had backed out. There was even a loose cart nearby that they could use.

Yuri remarked that he liked the store's general green and white color scheme, which was represented on the carts and on the exterior of the building. The giant letters above the door, in cute Amienne font, read "Yum Yums" in green with white outlining. The store was a good size, but it was certainly nothing too uncompromisingly massive as to appear daunting. It was a simple grocery store, nothing more and nothing less.

"I'll lead the way," Yomotsu insisted, once they stepped out of and locked the vehicle. "You can push the cart." Thus it was decided that Yuri would follow the blind today.

"We don't even know what we're going to get, do we?" Yuri questioned. "We didn't make a list or grab an ad or even look inside the freezer or pantry…"

"There's no reason to worry," Yomotsu responded, holding his finger up. "I always am an expert at grabbing just the right amount of food at the right price. You're shopping with an expert."

Yomotsu heard Yuri casually flipped his hair.

Yomotsu was familiar with the store's layout from his many shopping visits, so it was easy for him to picture it in his mind: From the wide entrance, where the carts were distributed and baskets could be grabbed, the area opened up to the customer service counter to the immediate left and some promotional sale items straight ahead. The promos sat on white shelving, against a long, light olive-colored wall. The desk of the customer service counter, which had a rounded counter top which connected this promotional items wall to the wall of the entrance doors, was a dark green. There was usually a woman wearing a hijab organizing some sort of paperwork behind the counter, so Yomotsu assumed she was there today, with her back turned to them.

"Although these items are here because they're on sale," Yomotsu explained, "They take advantage of the immediacy of this location and sometimes feature dodgy deals. Do not be misled! The real sales are yet to be discovered." Yomotsu led Yuri, who pushed the cart, into the next area, where 9 registers and a self-checkout area would have been immediately within Yuri's view. All of the employees, of various ages and shapes and dispositions, were wearing green polos and khakis and had white nametags with names in the same Amienne font that accentuated the store name outside. Yomotsu did not need to see this to know that this was true, as this was always their standard dress code.

Turning the corner, the other side of the promotion wall wound around and contained various natural and organic shelf-stable foods. With the registers to their right and the organic items to their left, they stood now in front of the produce department, which shared an area with their deli foods.

The two began to pick up produce items at their leisure: Yomotsu pickedup some bananas anda few ears of corn; Yuri snatched up some oranges, fresh cut pineapple in a little over-priced plastic container, a couple of apples, and a head of lettuce. Connected to the produce was a little drink stand, where a young man stood waiting for a customer. He was leaning against the wall, probably with his hand in his pocket and with his eyes just staring forward.

Yuri passed the cart on to Yomotsu. "I'm thirsty enough right now to try just about anything," he explained. Yomotsu felt around the avocados for the best specimens and listened in carefully on what was being said.

"Hey, man, what can I do for you today?" The young man asked.

Yuri could be heard gently tapped on the counter. "I'm looking…"

"Well," the worker started up after a second, "We got a deal going with our Yum Yumalicious Green Dream today. It's probiotic and high in antioxidants and stuff."

"Sure…" Yuri mumbled, apparently not able to argue with a deal like that. "I'll give it a try." Yuri dug into his wallet and, $3.50 later, walked back toward Yomotsu with a medium fruit and veggie smoothie in his hand. He returned to Yomotsu and the cart.

"I have acquired a 'Green Dream'. Would you like to try the first sip, before I drink it?" Yuri offered.

Yomotsu still led the cart from the front, by gently dragging it behind him. He turned his head toward Yuri, giving him a curious expression. He responded, "But then you'd be drinking out of something I drank out of… and what if you don't like it at all?"

"There's no reason to worry about me not liking it," Yuri responded. "If I dislike it, I will suffer willingly through it." He then shrugged. "And as for you drinking out of it first… I'm really not that concerned. Just take a quick sip, and no harm will be done. But if you spit into the straw or something, then I will destroy you."

Yomotsu chuckled and took the plastic cup from Yuri. With one hand he held it, and the other held the straw. He sipped it for a second before handing it over, swishing the drink in his mouth at the same time. Then, after glancing worriedly at Yuri, he swallowed what was in his mouth and then gasped for air.

"Absolutely wretched!" Exclaimed Yomotsu, perhaps a little too loudly. He heard some people stop their shopping and turn to look at them. "It tastes like dirt. That's less like a Green Dream and more like a green scream. DISGUSTING."

Yuri paused thoughtfully and then sipped. Then he took another sip. When he was finished with his two drinks, Yomotsu heard him shrug. "Tastes like some pretty good dirt to me."

They successfully made their way out of produce. They then shopped their way quickly yet thoroughly through the bakery and through most of the grocery aisles, but once in a while Yomotsu had to take a breather.

"It's the Green Dream," he moaned. "It is wasting no time in its assault…"

While one hand held on to his stomach, his other hand reached for some peanut butter and tossed it into the cart behind him.

Yomotsu turned the corner and collided with someone: both of them let out a little exclamation and backed up a little. Yomotsu immediately went down to pick up the items that had been dropped in the process, only to find that the other person was bent down as well and beat him to picking them up.

"That's fine," she said. "I got this, I got this. Are you alright, sir?"

Yomotsu stood up straight. He heard the girl rise again, this time with her objects in her hands. He could hear the broken Pringles slide in the tube as she picked them up and set them back into the cart she had been unloading from.

"I am just fine, ma'am, but the Pringles!" He tensed up a little. "I absolutely must buy them from you."

"No, no, that's fine!"

"No, no! I will accept no other answer: I will reap what I have sown." He gestured for Yuri to come over with the cart. A case of broken ranch Pringles was tossed onto the heap, without as much as a word from Yuri.

"At least this way, they won't go to waste," the girl laughed nervously.

Yomotsu smiled. "Pringles are such things that should never be thrown away."

"Right." The girl responded. "That just wouldn't do them justice. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah…" Yomotsu's smile expanded across his face. "I think I do!"

"Anyway… I think I gotta go to the back to get another case now... Let me know if there's anything I can help you find!"

Yomotsu heard the girl walk away, pulling her cart behind her. As soon as her presence left them, Yomotsu's sickness returned with more force than ever. Yuri now had to be the one pushing the cart. Yomotsu felt himself being nudged forward, which did not help his already weak balance and awareness of what was going on around him. "Come on," Yuri said. "Let's just keep going. Be careful, though. I don't want any more unwanted junk food in the cart."

"Alright, alright, Yuri…"

The other chuckled softly, and Yomotsu could guess so much as why—in so little time, they had given up on the formalities. Just a little over a week ago, Yuri had addressed him exclusively as Mr. Hirasaka. Now both of them had settled on a first name basis. "And if he thinks this means I'm letting my guard down," Yomotsu thought to himself, in between the feelings of intense nausea, "then all the better…"

"uhhh…UGHEUGHACKghlu…"

Yomotsu's hand was clasping his stomach.

"That Green Dream really didn't agree with you, did it?" Yuri asked, as much concerned as he was scientifically curious as to what could have been in this drink to affect him so much. "You only had one sip."

"One sip of power is all it takes for the unjust to become corrupt," Yomotsu responded, with his pleading eyes aimed ahead. "But, I'll be fine… Let's just keep going… No turning back now. We must finish this shopping trip! If you must leave me behind, Yuri, so be it!"

From the grocery aisles, they passed by the meat department and picked up a full freezer's worth of frozen goods, from microwavable pizzas to frozen fruits and vegetables to, of course, pizzas. The time went by very quickly: soon, they were approaching the checkout counters. All but one was lit up, and all but one of those lit up was full—they locked in immediately on a lane whose customer just finished paying and was taking away her full cart.

"Hello. Did you find everything alright today?"

The cashier was a young man with brown hair and brown eyes. He wore his green polo with the top two buttons unbuttoned.

"Yes, we did," Yomotsu answered. Yuri eyed how he went right in to help him unload onto the moving belt.

"Great," the cashier answered. "Would you be interested in applying for a ChampiYum Card today and save 4% on all future transactions over $20.00?"

Yuri quickly answered, in a tone that allowed no further comment or inquiry, "No."

Yomotsu was leaning his head forward, so that he practically was leaning over the belt. Yuri discerned that he was listening closely to the beeping of the till as the items were scanned. The pair had decided to lump the groceries into one bill, which Yuri would pay, and then Yomotsu would pay exactly half. This seemed the fairest method, since already in this week they determined that neither ate excessively more than the other, and they planned on using the groceries indiscriminately.

"How much do you think we spent?" Yomotsu asked quietly, leaning back. "I'm thinking $78.60."

Yuri considered it. "That's an oddly specific number," he answered, looking toward Yomotsu, thoughtfully. "Which means, either you're doing that to try and throw me off, or you're likely spot on. Hmm." He paused and grabbed a bunch of Skor bars and dropped them onto the belt. "I will go with a clean $90.00."

Yomotsu scratched his head. "Why would you get those? If you're going to try to mess this up, at least put something edible on the belt…"

"I happen to particularly enjoy Skor bars," Yuri responded. "And shhh, he's about to announce the total."

Yomotsu turned and, before he could start up about how that was impossible, since they had just put the items on the belt—sure enough, the cashier scanned the last item. He was fast.

"Your total today is $84.30."

Yuri and Yomotsu were silent for a moment, each trying to figure out who was closer. Then, finally, Yuri realized that they were going to end up holding up the line behind them. He started to write out his check.

"I'm sorry," the young man said. "We no longer accept checks."

"Oh," Yuri said to himself. He put the checkbook away and slid his card, a little grudgingly—he really enjoyed signing things on paper. His fancy signature looked much better on a check than it did on the credit card swiper touchpad.

The transaction went through, and the receipt printed and was handed off to Yuri. "Thank you for shopping at Yum Yums," the young man said, concluding the transaction.

Suddenly, Yomotsu leaned forward and felt around the front of the cashier's polo. He found the nametag and gently massaged his thumb across the engraved lettering.

"Certainly…" Yomotsu declared. "Thanks… Luke!"

Yuri gave the cashier, Luke, an "I'm really, really sorry about that" sort of look and followed behind Yomotsu with the cart.

When they returned to the vehicle, Youri pushed the cart to the vehicle and unloaded into the backseat. They were just barely able to contain it all in the back, which impressed Yuri all the more and led him to believe that, perhaps, Yomotsu was truly a grocery shopping expert, when he was not charging into employees or invading their personal bubbles to read their nametags.

"Luke didn't bag the groceries very well," Yuri remarked, as he stood there with the door open. Yomotsu had been on his way to return the cart, but he paused to hear out Yuri's concern.

"What do you mean?" Yomotsu asked. "I thought he did a great job. He was so quick, too. That was some excellent service."

"No, he was quick," Yuri responded thoughtfully. "Perhaps too quick. He didn't put the apples in with the other produce. I'll have to dig through the other bags just to find them."

Yomotsu raised his eyebrow curiously. "Maybe you just didn't get apples," he proposed.

Yuri chuckled curiously. "Don't you remember me putting them in the cart?"

"I certainly do not remember that," Yomotsu responded slowly. "But I could be wrong! I did have the Green Dream affecting my ability to concentrate… Speaking of which, I still have that horrid taste in my mouth…"

"Anyway, let me just check the receipt to make sure he rang them up," Yuri concluded, most decidedly.

Yomotsu went to put the cart back, and when he returned, he came back to Yuri rereading the receipt frantically. "There are no apples on here!" He looked towards Yomotsu. "I know I grabbed apples!"

"I'm sure you did," Yomotsu responded.

"Seriously."

"I believe you, Yuri. I believe you." He took a deep breath and smiled. "Let's get going. We've got work to do when we get home." Yomotsu, who was now on the other side of the vehicle, held up two job applications over his head, so they were within the other's view.

Yuri, standing with the door open, asked the obvious questions, "W-when did you…? Why here?" He sat down and closed the door. As Yuri started the vehicle, Yomotsu buckled his seatbelt.

"Groceries don't pay for them-them… ohgosh… UUUGHHHH… YURI… please tell me there's a bag in here I can… uuuuuuughhhhHGGHLUUU—"