Chapter Three

The Most Awesome Thing That Could Happen

Calvin got up that day with particular eagerness. It wasn't that he was expecting anything exciting to happen as the title of this chapter suggests, it was just a Friday. But since Calvin was homeschooled, he didn't have the luxury of enjoying Fridays like normal children do when they know it's their break, at least for two days from the institution that is so often compared to a prison by the unruly kids known as school.

No, Calvin got up because he knew that Friday was the day that his mother would stop being a teacher and become Mom. Friday was field trip day. Every Friday, Calvin got to go to someplace new, sometimes Hobbes came along, and sometimes he didn't. A kid does need time alone after all.

On this particular day, Calvin and his mother were going to the zoo. Any other kid wouldn't be all that excited about it, after all what's so interesting about being in a place full of animals if you can't touch them? But Calvin was a different kind of thinker, out of all the subjects and things in the world, the thing that Calvin kept close to his heart was wildlife and the creatures that inhabit it. So it was with this that Calvin decided to become a nature photographer/explorer.

The zoo was like any normal run of the mill zoo. It had the lions, the elephants, the polar bears etc. the exception to this zoo was its owner, Mr. Avery Johnson. Avery Johnson was one of the richest men in the county, owning half the McDonalds, his own clothing line, and is manufacturer of all the bread and wheat, which in Kansas is a big deal.

Avery Johnson always wore the most expensive and most ridiculous outfits the world has ever seen. He never seemed to go anywhere without his lucky neon green hat, which reminded everyone of Kermit The Frog's urine, as if they knew what color that was to begin with. He also had a orange and black jacket with red striped pants. If this wasn't enough to look like a circus clown he had on glasses that made him look exactly like Groucho Marx. In short he looked like a deranged Willy Wonka, which is a statement in itself.

As Avery walked around his zoo with this ridiculous outfit that most people would either laugh or vomit at the sight of, Calvin and his mother came up to the elephant exhibit. Avery had a certain walk; he put his left leg just slightly before his right and began to hop. In was in this manner that he came upon Calvin. "How are you today, young man? Are you enjoying the zoo?" He said with his childlike attitude. Now most mothers would probably hide their children from a man who dresses like a circus clown for no particular reason, but not Calvin's, "Hello Mister Johnson," Calvin said with his usual polite but quite voice, "I'm sorry son, you're going to have to speak up. I can't hear you." Avery spoke loudly, hoping that Calvin would get the message.

Unfortunately for him, Calvin was not much of a talker, especially to people like Avery Johnson. So it was that Hobbes appeared to save the day.

Hobbes looked at Avery, "Maybe I should take this guy with me." he thought to himself, "He looks like a wacky kind of guy." Calvin was also examining Avery, "Who dressed this guy?" he whispered as he turned to Hobbes who only laughed "A clown apparently" he answered. "I was going to say you," Calvin replied, "But clown works just as well." Now Avery was completely oblivious, him being a Killjoy, to Hobbes, which is surprising considering how he dresses, but then again, he's rich- and rich people 85% of the time are completely insane.

Calvin looked at his mother, then at Avery and then back at Hobbes, making Avery and his mother extremely confused, for to them, he was talking to no one. Hobbes leaned over and spoke to him, "Remember Speech Lessons 101?"Hobbes asked with Calvin nodding in reply, "Good, then this should be easy." Calvin raised his head, just like Hobbes taught him, and looked Avery dead in the eye, "I'm doing great," Calvin said nervously; Hobbes shook his head, "Say it with confidence Calvin. Confidence" Calvin clutched his fists and raised them, almost as if he ready to fight Avery, and punched him in the face.

Avery, who was now down on the ground, glasses and hat off, was screaming in pain at his broken nose and bewildered that a kid had punched him in the face for no reason whatsoever. Hobbes looked at Calvin, "What was that! You punched the guy in the face!" Calvin was shaking, "I was only doing what you told me to do!" he answered, to the point of crying. "What!" Hobbes exclaimed with confusion, "When did I ever say punch the guy! I said speak with confidence." Calvin shook his head in disagreement, "You said that whenever I speak with confidence to feel empowered and punch the sky, I had no intention of hitting the guy's face."

Avery stood up, nose bleeding looked at Calvin. He looked at him harder than he had anyone in his entire life, almost as if he were a pedophile taking Calvin into his very soul. "He's one of them..." He thought to himself, "I must report this...but how, there are too many people." Avery looked around, picked up his hat. "It's alright, son. Accidents happen" Avery said as he put his hat on, brushed off his coat, waved goodbye to them both and headed off to the men's bathroom.

The men's bathroom was filthy; one of the stalls was covered in feces from a group of drunks. The mirrors were so cracked that you couldn't see out of them and the smell of the place made you want to never eat anything for the rest of your life. But despite this disgusting atmosphere, it was here that Avery went and it was here that he made contact with The Killjoys.

Avery pulled out his phone and dialed the ten digit number created for The Killjoys organization, PAAIRL: Parents Association Against Imaginary Friends. Why a ten digit number? Because they could have one, that's why. When the number picked up Avery was in so much of a hurry that he could barely speak, "Listen, I just encountered one...yes I'm sure...Really? Okay boss, I'll get it done...what about the mother...I'm not great with women sir...yes I would most certainly like to keep my head...okay sir, if you say so...sorry sir."

As Avery hung up the phone he realized where he was and threw up on the floor, before slipping and falling into it. He stood up, covered in his own vomit, washed himself off as best he could and left the room.

Avery's boss was a man known as Mister X. Mister X's description is unknown, because he never, not even as a child, revealed his face. Some say he was born as a hideous monster, others say a radioactive accident, what the real story is can never be known, so stick with the one you like best. Mister X's voice is also something to question, for it sounds nothing like a normal human's. It is raspy, slurred, unintelligent, lisped and has an obviously fake Spanish accent. The worst combinations ever.

"You're positive" Mister X whispered on the other end, " Get them on this, we need-..Do anything you have to...Get it done or I'll-...Don't mock me idiot..." Mister X hung up the phone and as he did so, he began to think why he hired Avery in the first place. "It's obvious isn't it...to find the children we've been looking for..." As he looked out the window of the small dark room that made up his chambers he began to plot. It was indeed a good plot, one that would change the course of history, but I don't want to spoil it for you.

Meanwhile, Calvin and Hobbes were looking at the animals, when Avery returned. He had a smile on his face that was unsettling and knowing, it was a smile that made Calvin feel violated and made Hobbes crunch his head inside of himself.

"I don't like that guy's face." Hobbes exclaimed as he stared at Avery, "I know what you mean" the inner voice inside of Hobbes answering him back, "it seems off somehow." Avery pulled out a bag, a bag big enough to put a small child in, and reached for Calvin. "Not so fast, sir" Hobbes yelled as he grabbed Avery's arm, "You forgot one thing..." Hobbes licked his finger and rubbed Avery's eyes with it. "There you go," Hobbes said with a laugh.

Avery rubbed his eyes once more, and staring him right in the face was Hobbes. He could see him, could see him laughing at him. Avery did not like to be laughed at, in fact he hated it. Avery lifted the bag, this time going for Hobbes. Hobbes snapped his fingers and almost by magic, Avery's bag turned into Hobbes's. With another snap of the finger, Hobbes's bag was back in his possession.

Avery stopped; he could not believe what he was seeing. It was almost unbelievable, but he could see it. Hobbes, seeing that Avery was distracted took the moment to pull out the letter. It was addressed to his house, he looked to Calvin, "You ready?" Calvin knew what was coming next, "Really? I get to see it?" Hobbes nodded, "It's high time you see your own creation."

With those words Avery snapped out of his trance, and began to walk towards Calvin. Just as he was about to grab him, Calvin opened the letter and they disappeared.