Same Old Same Old / Change of Employment
Lunatic whirled around the corner, filling the alley with a dreaded screech. He hovered over the stretch ahead and raised his crossbow. He charged up a shot and a sent a burst of blue-green fire onward, so as to cast a light in the darkness. In the wretched hues that followed, the flames illuminated a figure huddled up against a dumpster, wrapped up and buried in his coat.
The hunter descended to the pavement. His heels clicked against the ground, and his gaze settled upon the figure, around whom the fires rose. Lunatic's right hand grasped his weapon tightly, and the left was slack against his side. The white cloak had burned up during he descended, so when Lunatic's image was illuminated, he appeared in his blue and grey garb. He leaned his head in, to peek into the bundle within the coat, and from the alternate perspective, the foreboding mask drawing nearer and nearer, with wide and condemning eyes closing in.
"Lunatic! I have found the criminal!"
No— it was not Thanatos that Lunatic heard. The voice came from above, from the roof of the apartment building behind him. Turning to look over his shoulder, Lunatic observed two silhouettes against the moonlight: one belonging to the speaker, and the other belonging to the captive slung over his shoulder.
The victor leapt from the top of the building and dropped some distance away from the fire, before drawing nearer. The black tights, the signature belt, and the unmistakable giant eyeball mask—it could be no other than the 12th! He gently lowered the criminal, a gruesome one to be sure, to the ground. The 12th's captive was an old man in rags, completely limp and lifeless.
"The spark in his eyes is faint… Are you sure you did not destroy him in your zealous pursuit?" Lunatic looked up from the sickly, motionless body to the 12th.
"Not at all!" Responded the ally, "In fact, I found him in this morbid state… He was just slumped over, probably submitting to the fate that he knew to be inevitable! Why fight, when you know you stand no chance?"
Lunatic, nodding slowly, looked back at the bundle he had cornered. "But if that is the culprit, then who is this I have secured?" At one moment he was merely observing the cornered figure, and the next his mask was seized by thin hands that had shot forth from the big coat. 12th reeled back in surprise, and Lunatic responded by seizing the wrists of the surprise attacker and bringing the fire to his fingertips. There was no change in the grip, however, and the unknown assailant kept tugging and tugging. In the midst of this confusion, the frail body dropped by the 12th rolled through the licking fires and joined the bundle on the other side.
The weak man pulled the guise over the other, who finally released his grasping of Lunatic—only to seize the one who had joined him in an embrace. 12th and Lunatic backed up and observed a fantastic change; the two figures, who at first appeared near dying, became colored with life and filled with sudden and sweeping energy. They both rose, hand-in-hand: a man wearing a tight, orange and white striped collared shirt with the top half unbuttoned, striking blue bell bottoms, and black platform shoes; a woman in a slim-fitting tie-dye shirt and flowery pants, in stiletto heels to complete the image. In the man's hand was a wand with a glimmering sequin-covered ball at the end, and the woman had a flower in her Bewitched-inspired flipped hair.
They stood, glimmering with life yet emaciated and greenish in skin tone, holding hands in front of a very confused pair of heroes. The two vigilantes had to be ready for anything.
"I am DJ Deasco, the coolest wizard of the dead," announced the man, before gesturing with his wand to his partner. "And this is my lovely woman, the foxy Cryppie—the hippie from the crypt." The man spun the woman around and then smoothly maneuvered his hand around her waist. She giggled, and then eyed the oddly-dressed heroes watching them.
"Our gig is to spread the word of love and peace through the small towns of America," Cryppie explained. "Can you dig it?"
"But sometimes, jive turkeys like you think you're such tuff stuff and try to get the fuzz on our case," Deasco said.
"Buuuuuuusted!" Cryppie chimed in.
The 12th pointed at the pair and proclaimed, "You are stealing from our museums and antique shops and hiding in the night! Your 'peace and love' is a cover for theft and evil!"
All the accusation did was humor the couple. As they laughed, their remaining, wretched teeth could be seen in their decaying mouths. "Buzz off, man!" Deasco shouted back, spinning his wand. He looked over at his lover and said quietly, "Hey, baby, how about we kill these two and then take over their bodies?"
The woman quickly responded, "But they're both men… but at least they're stone foxes!" She giggled and eyed them. "I can't decide whether we should do that, or just eat their flesh… either way, let's boogie on down!"
Deasco and Cryppie, still holding hands, jumped clear over Lunatic and the 12th's heads, landing gracefully behind them. Before the pair could turn around and form a proper defense, Deasco swept a kick down low that made them both lose their balance and tumble over. Lunatic and 12th hit the concrete, only to notice Cryppie diving straight for them, with a hungry expression plastered over her face. Lunatic rolled to his right, and the 12th rolled to his left; Cryppie splatted to the ground, giving the two some time to counterattack.
While Deasco reached down to pick up his fallen love, Lunatic aimed his crossbow. "The voice of Thanatos beckons me," he called. "Forgiveness applies only to the living… Your judgment is past due. It is time for you to burn for your crimes." He shot a bolt towards them, and the fire exploded upon contact. However, the flames merely burnt them on the surface. No pain registered on their faces, and they found no physical fatigue as their skin began to feel the heat and the whole place smelled like burnt flesh.
"Jeepers creepers!" Cryppie called out, rubbing her sore head. As she rubbed, a piece of her flesh pulled off, which she discarded. "You guys need to take a chill pill."
Lunatic looked at the 12th, who was looking at nothing in particular, but that was probably because he was blind and everything. This was not an ideal situation. If the pair could not be killed even by his fires, which placed him among some of the most powerful NEXTs in history, then their usual means of subduing their criminals were useless. These two felt no fear; they had nothing to lose by mere flesh wounds.
The zombies, now zombies on fire, went on the offensive. They locked arms and charged after 12th and Lunatic, who turned to fleeing through the alley. Lunatic was flying through and his partner was making a mad dash by him, on solid footing. The 12th turned after they entered the open streets, to detach from his Transformation Belt a couple of bombs. He held one in each hand and, theatrically, hurled them in front of their pursuers. Twin explosions erupted, to stall the progress of Deasco and Cryppie, but they walked straight through the fiery burst.
The 12th, too stunned to properly react, was thankfully picked up by Lunatic before the zombies could get to him. Lunatic rose with a screech, holding his blind ally over the street.
"Far out," Deasco murmured, watching them from below.
"But don't think that's going to be enough to stop our true love!" Cryppie leaned in to kiss her dearly beloved, from whom death did not cause her to part. As they kissed, their greenish tongues passed through one another's mouth, and saliva drooled from their cracking lips.
"There is nothing more terrifying than a deluded couple in the throngs of love as they spiral down toward a destructive self-centeredness," 12th reflected. "Many a time have I thought I might meet my end at the hands of such types of lovers…"
Lunatic looked down at his hanging friend. "We are never going to defeat them until we separate them," he thought aloud, "They seem to draw power from each other's presences, almost unlimitedly. But how are we to…"
A brief exchange followed between the two and then, silently, a descent into the street. The psychedelic zombies observed closely but kept their space; traffic was oncoming. A car screeched to a halt in front of Lunatic, who just stared menacingly at the vehicle. The person driving it would have seen, illuminated by his headlights, the freakish attention of both masked figures and the two zombies on the sidewalk.
Lunatic went to the driver's seat and, politely, yanked the door off. "Excuse me," he began, peering at the driver huddling back in his seat. "But Thanatos has called your vehicle into my possession… You should be honored." Lunatic yanked at the seatbelt and, at his touch, it began to melt away. The driver began to scream, which annoyed Lunatic, but he did not let that affect him. When he hurled the man out of his vehicle, he did not do it angrily.
The 12th, being none the wiser to his partner's plan, merely watched from the sidelines along with the two zombies. They actually stood right next to each other, and had begun conversing a little. Their conversation about current events in local news, the week's weather forecast, and the new Capsule and Perfume releases, was put to an end when Lunatic finally got the car's stereo system to work just the way he wanted it to.
"Behold!" Lunatic cried out from inside. "The double-edged sword of righteousness will divide you!" Shortly after this was pronounced, a glorious (and very loud) sound came from the vehicle—a song, a groovy song, being blared for nearly anyone in town to hear.
The 12th laughed. "Brilliant," he whispered to himself, "I should've known… He always carries a copy of that album on him, and at a time like this, it is the perfect weapon…"
Already it was having its hold on Deasco. He was tapping his foot and, truly, moving his body to the song. Cryppie looked puzzled. She failed to understand. This music was not groovy in the slightest. She was about to actually complain and ask for it to be turned off, when she noticed that Deasco was walking away from her, being drawn by the music towards the vehicle.
Lunatic slipped out of the driver's seat and, on his way out, patted the driver on the shoulder and whispered something in his ear. Without delay, the driver ran off screaming, and Lunatic passed Deasco, who went straight to the source. So much had he been caught up in the fervor that he sat down in the driver's seat and closed the door, so that he may embrace the speakers.
The 12th and Cryppie were joined by Lunatic, and together they observed the event to briefly follow: no sooner had Pharrell Williams sang "Sweat! Sweat! Sweat!" once more, had a massive explosion gone off, completely obliterating the car. The vehicle's occupant was launched into the air, one arm going this way, his body going the other, and his head splatting on the ground. It would have been very graphic and probably have caused this chapter to be banned in several countries, but it was a zombie. That made it quite okay that, despite their mutual code, the 12th and Lunatic delighted in this death (or re-death).
Cryppie, having watched her love be blown apart, fell to pieces. She broke up like Mr. Potato man on the sidewalk. The two heroes bent down, near her head, and 12th attempted to console her, "I know you must be hurt, but realize that he died doing what he loved. No better death can befall a man! He gave his life for the music he loved! He lost himself to dance!"
But his words and really bad joke were in vain. The life had completely left the head. So it was that Deasco and Cryppie, the notorious villains in Graceville, had their short criminal escapades drawn to a close. One was blown up, and the other died of heartbreak. 12th noticed Lunatic crying. The tears, of course, did not show through the helmet, but he could hear the sobs. He put his hand on his partner's shoulder.
"They were not human," the 12th said sympathetically, "They had to be destroyed, to be stopped… By nature, they were pure evil."
Lunatic punched the 12th in the face and, turning on him, screamed, "I'm not mad about that, you idiot!" He, falling to his knees, directed his punches at the earth. "I'm mad, because… Because, myself to dance was not the only thing I lost… My CD was in the car. I could buy another one, but this one had so many memories attached to it. It's just, not the same."
The 12th wanted to make a joke about "memories," and how he could just randomly access some new ones with the new album he buys. However, he decided against that. Instead, he merely turned and, paying his respects to Cryppie, whispered to the remains, "Good night, John-Boy. We'll see you on the flipside."
I am the 12th.
I am the hero of righteousness, the friend of all who follow the true code—I am the victorious one, destined to overcome the greatest evils of this world!
My Diary beckons me to strike against all villainy, and now, it has called on me to watch over Graceville. The United States has never seen a hero like me before!
And let me say, the United States rocks!
Japan is my first love, but there, I was scorned and mistaken as a common disturber of the peace. It is in America that I am understood!
True, for a while, even these lovers of the law jeered at me, and I almost came to fear that nothing here was any different from before.
But then something glorious changed! Fate convened to reveal my glory to the world! Across the news, my beautiful image has become synonymous with Mystery! Action! Superhumanity! Kindness! This four-score ensemble forms the great orchestration of my allure—the mask I wear, the great eye that watches over a vulnerable nation!
Never before have so many foul forces appeared before the public to cause new mayhem! Perhaps they are just crawling out of their crevices, or perhaps, and perhaps this is my theory—there is more to this picture!
The hub of activity is now Graceville. The target of the combined menaces of this nation is this once peaceful town! Such sadness I feel that my presence here is bringing them to this innocent place—but then I remember that, because of this, they can witness my greatness first-hand! And then I realize, the more destruction that befalls Graceville, the more they can see the 12th rise to the challenge and be filled with hope—such a wonderful sight to behold that I almost envy the average citizen of Graceville, who can watch this all unfold so righteously, without having to carry the burden I have.
This mask is heavy. In it are the hopes, dreams, and lives of many people. Alone, even I might fall, but thankfully, another hero has joined me! Lunatic, listening to the new tone in Thanatos' voice, has turned from his ways and has understood my perfect code! Only a true hero would spare the scum of this world, and now that he withholds his worst from these criminals, he has been a most useful sidekick!
Only I know his true identity: that Lunatic is none other than Yuri Petrov, formerly of Sternbild's Administration of Justice! I know this, because he and I share a house in the suburbs. He has the basement, which I furnished so well to his liking, and I have my upstairs bedroom. This arrangement has worked so fantastically, because we are able to keep constant watch over the other. In this dangerous world, we must vigilantly defend one another.
It is also convenient, then, that we share the same place of employment. Yum Yums has graciously hired us, and so far, things are going spectacularly! At least for one of us. Regretfully, my friend Yuri has had some trouble adjusting, but already I can see the tide turning! He has been taken under the careful wing of Luke, recently promoted to a front end supervisor, for additional coaching. Meanwhile, I have become a favorite among the shelf-stockers, known for my extraordinary memorization of the store's layout and products, as well as my top-notch customer service!
Originally, both Yuri and I applied for the front-end, but it was shortly during my interview that I was informed that there was a deficiency of daytime stockers. The interviewer asked me if I would be willing to join the backroom team for the same pay, and I had no objections. I was being interviewed by Craig, one of the store managers, who was filling in for Gladys, who normally does the interviews. Craig has a great, enthusiastic attitude about him, but I fear that his hearing is not so great as mine.
When I was prompted to speak a little about myself, I said to Craig, "I recently moved to the area and have a strong desire to help the people of this town, country, and beyond! I stand for the weak and defenseless! I am a hero of righteousness!" Somehow, while commenting that I have "spunk" for a foreigner, he misunderstood me grossly.
My nametag has since stated "Hiro," and when I pick up my check on pay day, the envelope has "Hiro of Rai Chestnuts" written on it. Thankfully, the check has the correct information, so I have not bothered to correct employees when, calling for me from the other end of the aisle, have had to say, "Hiro, cleanup in Aisle 6!"
Asked to list some of my strengths, I told Craig, "I have superhuman agility, a brilliant mind, blindness, and an unparalleled sense of right of wrong!"
I recall it well that he questioned me, "Blindness is a strength?"
"Of course!" I responded (and this is the brilliant part!), "By not being able to see, all of my other senses are heightened: I can hear the falling of a glass jar from across the store, so I may move quickly to clean the mess. I can hear the grumbling of customers, so that I may arrive and promptly win them over. I can hear the questions of customers when they speak amongst each other, so I can ease any nervousness they might have in approaching me to ask anything."
Craig laughed characteristically, with a bubbly, hoarse guffaw. "I like you, kid. You got a chip on your shoulder."
I was hired promptly and scheduled among the daytime stockers. Since I joined the team, a few have come and gone. I came to find out that the young woman from the Pringles incident, that day when Yuri and I had gone shopping, actually worked in various departments. She was a jack-of-all-trades that usually cashiered, with the likes of Yuri, but sometimes graced the aisles with her presence. When I had the chance to work with her again, not only was I impressed that she remembered me, I was also impressed of her speed! It was clear why they were utilizing her abilities in various departments. I found out her name, too: Mercy. What a beautiful name, to match an angel's voice!
I also heard that, apparently, she has been dating Luke for some time now. At first, it was just a rumor I heard, but then I saw it for myself! A young couple more enamored with one another, I have not seen before! If they were anyone else, this might have caused an issue at work, but the management of Yum Yums trusts the stability and credibility of both Luke and Mercy in this situation. Luke supervises over her, and they do their best to keep their private lives separate from their work lives. I find peace in how happy he makes her, for she deserves such in her life.
Back to my housemate… Whether it has been at the store, at home, or while fighting crime, Yuri has proven himself to be a true friend! Whether he really understands it or not, he is my first true friend. While I surpass him in so many ways, he does have some very admirable qualities. Four months have passed, and things are looking up.
A new era has dawned. Graceville is the spotlight of the world! At the grocery store, I am climbing in reverence! Never before have I known such happiness or success! Things are changing, and this change of employment is only just one of the transformations… and these changes are good! Whatever may happen next, I must remain true to myself. That is the highest code I can adhere to.
I am Yomotsu Hirasaka. I am the 12th. I am justice.