Chapter 04: Monkey Wrench
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1 week, 4 days, 21 hours, 45 minutes, 15 seconds...
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"You're not even trying to hide it!" Rei snapped, hands on her hips, leaning forward, scowling down at Usagi. Usagi shrunk back underneath the accusing gaze, leaning back on Rei's desk chair. "It's incredibly obvious, Usagi, just come clean!"
Usagi shook her head. "I...I don't know what you're talking about," she said meekly.
"Oh, give me a break!" Rei said. "It couldn't be more obvious! You're cheating! Stop insulting my intelligence and just admit it!"
Usagi suddenly stood up from the desk chair. "Rei, back off," she said. "Look, we all agreed on the honor system, which implies that you're willing to take my word for it when I say that I'm still in!"
"Pinky swear is sacred," Minako commented from the corner of the room, where she was leaning up against the wall. "She's got you there!"
"Shut up!" Rei ordered, turning around to point at Minako. "This doesn't concern you!" She turned back to Usagi, but looked up behind Usagi's head, instead focusing her gaze on Makoto. "Mako, anything you want to say?!" She gestured both her hands at Usagi. "She may as well be advertising it!"
Makoto was seated on the floor on the other end of the room, arms crossed over her chest and scowling. "An explanation would be nice," she said, voice terse and clipped.
"Yeah, Usagi!" Rei leaned back in towards her. "Explain yourself!"
"Explain what?" Usagi asked, raising an eyebrow at Rei.
Rei sighed. "Explain how you're going around as if nothing's wrong after close to eleven days!"
"Because nothing's wrong!" Usagi protested. "I feel fine!"
"You mean to tell me that, after eleven days without masturbation, you're no worse for wear?!" Rei's eyes narrowed. "You expect me to believe that?!" She pointed downwards. "Because I've got the fires of Hades going on down here, and this is me we're talking about!"
"I don't masturbate anymore!" Usagi said. "It...it doesn't work anymore."
Rei scowled. "What does that even mean?!"
Usagi grimaced, then slightly turned away from Rei's accusing glare. "I...it doesn't...rev the engine anymore," she explained. "Ever since me and Mamo-chan started having sex, it's...well, it's kinda like...trying to drink watered-down, store-brand cola after drinking Coca-Cola." She shrugged. "Just doesn't cut it anymore, so I...stopped doing it."
Rei closed her eyes. "Usagi. I thought I was very clear about this. You can't have sex with Mamoru either! So—"
"I haven't!" Usagi insisted. "We only have sex once a month!"
Minako pushed herself back up into a standing position from the wall, eyes on Usagi. "Seriously?"
Usagi put her arms out to her sides. "I thought you guys knew that, I always tell you guys all about it after every time."
"I thought you were only telling us about the really good ones," Minako muttered, slightly taken aback.
"No, I tell you guys about all of them," Usagi said. "I mean, Mamo-chan...some of this stuff is a little tough for him, I have to bring him along slowly. If I come on too strong with some of this stuff he'll get scared. Plus he's...piss-his-pants terrified of my father still, so there's that." She grimaced. "Had to fight like hell just to get the once-a-month arrangement."
"So...you're telling me that you only...get off once a month, and...you're just okay with that?" Rei asked, still frowning deeply and carefully appraising Usagi.
"Well, what was I supposed to do? Go downtown and find a male prostitute?" Usagi asked. "And to be totally honest...it's not so bad. Yeah, the first couple months were rough, but then my body adjusted, and...actually, it makes the release a lot more satisfying and fulfilling. Like, there's the anticipation factor now. Yeah, the garbage piles up on the sidewalk a little bit, but...as long as I know the garbage man is gonna come at a certain time, it's fine. So yeah, my body has totally adjusted to this schedule, and I'm gonna let Mamo-chan ease into things slowly."
"Huh," Minako mused. "Fascinating. I wonder if that'll happen to me one day." She pursed her lips. "I actually hope not. Don't get me wrong, I'm down with a capital 'D' for sex, but there's just something...satisfying about being able to pleasure yourself, hope I never lose that—"
Rei pointed a finger directly at Usagi's forehead. "You're disqualified," she hissed in a low whisper.
"Uh, no, I'm not," Usagi countered. "I've explained myself, so—"
"You lied!" Rei snapped, again leaning up close to Usagi's face. "You weren't truthful about yourself, you're disqualified!"
"I didn't lie!" Usagi retorted. "I...omitted certain truths. The way in which my body works is not your concern anyway, so...deal with it."
"No, no, I'm not standing for this!" Rei roared. "If you've mutated yourself into some kind of dead-libido freak, that's something that you needed to tell us!"
The door to the room slid open gently, revealing Ami, who walked in as quietly as possible.
"Oh, good, you're here!" Rei said, turning to Ami as she made her way towards the computer desk. "We have a very serious problem here with Usagi, I need your backing here!"
Ami, however, had no ears for Rei. Expression flat and unreadable, pupils dilated, she went over to the desk and placed her purse on the corner of it. Quickly, she rummaged through it, then pulled out a single rectangular piece of paper. She dropped it onto the desk, then grabbed her purse and walked off, letting the bill flutter down.
Rei was distracted from her tirade, eyes now tracking Ami as she retreated towards the bed in the corner of the room. Her eyes flickered over to the bill, now resting on the desk, a pristine-condition five-thousand yen note. Usagi stared down at it as well, then turned to look at Ami. She sat down on the bed, opening a book and pressing it up to her face, shielding it from view. It was so close to her face, there was no chance she was actually able to read it.
Minako came over as well, silently staring at the five-thousand yen note. Even Makoto momentarily forgot her own pains of denial and got up to look at the money Ami had just put down.
The room was just quiet for a few seconds, everyone taking several moments to assure themselves that, yes, Ami had just forked over five grand. They then looked over to appraise Ami, who looked determined to be as ignored as possible by her friends.
Slowly, the edge of Minako's mouth twitched, then curled into a small grin, as the initial surprise wore off and the lightbulb came on.
And then, there was silence no more.
"Oh SHIT!" Minako yelped, smacking her palms down on the desk, then putting her hands up on her head and bouncing up into the air. "NO! NO! That is NOT happening right now!" She sprinted over to Ami, cackling like a madwoman. "Oh my GOD, that...that..." She sat down heavily right next to her friend, placing her hands up on Ami's shoulder to support herself, leaning against her and releasing the most joyous laughter imaginable.
"Wow," Rei said, looking over at Ami, who continued to conceal her face behind her book as Minako nearly tackled her to the bed. "So much for that."
"You...you..." Minako gasped between laughter, fighting to speak coherently. She started lightly smacking Ami's shoulder as she fought with hysteria, but Ami maintained her defensive position. "You talked...you talked all that shit...you talked all that SHIT...and you...you're the second person...oh my GOD!"
"Sup, Lionel Messi?" Makoto asked wryly.
"Well, she sure scored last night," Usagi joked.
Minako pushed herself back up and lurched over to the wall by the bed, still laughing her head off. "NO! NO! This is the best thing ever!" She reached forward and put her fist through one of the paper frames that made up the wall, instantly drawing Rei's wrath.
"HEY!" Rei quickly went over to Minako. "Dammit, Mina, not again!" She grabbed her by the shoulders and shoved her back into the middle of the room, looking at the ripped square of paper. "God..."
Minako stumbled towards the door, pushing her way past Makoto and Usagi, nearly falling over due to sheer breathlessness. Her hands lashed out for the knob, but she ended up tearing up another wall section, using the wooden frame as a handhold to yank it open.
"Mina!" Rei shrieked, scowling again as she went over to the door. "These are not easy to fix!"
"Yeah they are," Makoto muttered as Minako lurched into the hallway, keeling over, practically in stitches.
"Well, I don't need her knowing that!" Rei said through gritted teeth.
Minako finally looked up, glancing down the hall way. "Hey, hey, buddy, c'mere!" she shouted, motioning down the hall. A moment later, Yuuchirou appeared, looking a little wary of the highly energetic blonde. "Yo, Yuuchirou, up high!" Minako raised her right hand up high in the air. Yuuchirou raised his own up nonchalantly, allowing her to violently smack them together in a vicious high-five. "Oh, oh man, Yuuchirou, I..." she pointed into Rei's bedroom. "Ami masturbated!"
Yuuchirou just stood there, face wrinkled in confusion. "What?"
"Yeah!" Minako nodded. "Ami Mizuno MASTURBATED!" She leaped past Yuuchirou, skipping along the wooden floor, nearly rocketing up to the ceiling as she went into a high-energy singsong. "AMI MASTURBAAAATED! AMI MASTURBAAAATED! AMI MASTURBAAAATED!"
Her voice slowly faded as she began to traverse the depths of the shrine, Yuuchirou left to scratch his head. Slowly, he turned and leaned into the bedroom, peering at the blue haired girl over on the bed, head still hiding inside of a book. He turned to Usagi, Rei, and Makoto in hopes of some clarification.
"Well, she's...not lying," Usagi said, a tiny grin on her face.
Yuuchirou looked back over at Ami. "Like...just now?"
"No, no...last night, probably," Makoto answered.
"Oh." Yuuchirou glanced back down the hall where Minako had disappeared.
"Ami masturbaaated! Ami masturbaaated! Ami masturbaaated!"
"Well, why is that such a big deal?" Yuuchirou asked.
"It's kind of a long story," Usagi said.
"Uh...I kinda wouldn't mind maybe...hearing this long story—"
"Oh, get out of here!" Rei ordered, pointing down the hall. Yuuchirou scurried off, Rei's fiery gaze following him. "Pervert..." she turned back to the room. "If any of you tell him about this contest, I'll have your guts for garters, by the way."
"Ami masturbaaated! Ami masturbaaated! Ami masturbaaated!"
"So. Anyway." Makoto turned to look over at Ami, slowly making her way across the room. "Anything to say for yourself? Hm?"
Ami didn't budge a centimeter, book held up over her face like it was a shield protecting her from certain death.
"Didn't think so," Makoto said, shaking her head in mock disappointment and walking away.
"Y'know, I was giving you a hard time at your place to...rile you up," Rei said, giving Ami a wry look. "I didn't you'd actually...do it."
"Ami masturbaaated! Ami masturbaaated! Ami masturbaaated!" Her chant was starting to become louder and louder as she began moving back closer to the bedroom.
"Alright, I think that's quite enough from her," Rei muttered, turning around and going towards the door. Makoto put her arm out to her side, blocking her path out of the room.
"Ah, let's...give her a couple more minutes," Makoto said, smirking over at Ami.
Suddenly, another rice paper panel right above the bed burst inwards, Minako's hand stabbing through, pointing emphatically at Ami's back as Minako continued to laugh herself to death. She had made her way out into the backyard.
"Fucking, God—" Rei snapped, running over towards her bed and leaping across the room, just barely missing grabbing Minako by the wrist, Minako pulling out just in time. Rei faceplanted into her mattress next to Ami, who still refused to react. "Minako! We have three-year-olds who come to this temple every week and never tear the walls!"
Minako ignored Rei, however, turning around and swinging her limbs about with extreme over-exaggeration, casually making her way out into the field surrounding the main structure of the temple. "Amiii massturrrbaaated! Amiii massturrrbaaated! Amiii massturrrbaaated!"
Rei just watched her through the newly-made window, eyes narrowed as Minako shrunk into the distance.
"Yeah, I think she's...gotten enough mileage out of that one," Rei said, pushing herself up into a standing position. "I'm going to...oh, shit!" Rei spun around and took off for the door, blowing past Usagi and Makoto, yanking the door wide, and sprinting down the hall.
"What, what?!" Usagi took off behind her friend, Makoto deciding to give pursuit after a half-second.
After a quick jaunt down the hall, the three girls burst out of the back door and into the yard. Rei skidded to a halt at the edge of the wooden deck, however, seeing that she was already too late.
Across the yard, Grandfather Hino was standing in front of about fifteen people, apparently giving some sort of lecture. Or at least, had been. His attention, as well as the attention of his would-be audience, had been stolen by Minako, who was now dancing through the rows of prospective Shinto worshippers.
"Amiii massturrrbaaated! Amiii massturrrbaaated! Amiii massturrrbaaated!" Minako continued, weaving back and forth between the collection of people.
"God...dammit," Rei grunted, not even bothering to try chasing her down at this point. Usagi and Makoto both peered over Rei's shoulders.
"Well...nobody can say she doesn't deserve that apartment ban now, I guess," Makoto said.
"I am so...incredibly embarrassed," Rei moaned, Minako now running around and trying to farm high-fives from the group of people, who only stared at her in return. Minako didn't seem to particularly mind being left hanging, however, still giggling with unbridled glee.
"For the shrine, or for the Senshi?" Usagi asked.
"Both." Rei grimaced. "Plus the entire human race."
Finally, Minako sprinted over towards the three girls, still snickering and snorting away. Rei opened her mouth, preparing to berate her as she got closer, but Minako simply dashed by her, back into the shrine, no mind for anything but enjoying this moment as much as she possibly could.
"Mina!" Rei shouted, giving hot pursuit as Minako ran back into Rei's bedroom. Usagi and Makoto followed quickly. Sure enough, a quick journey down the hall later, Minako had plopped herself down right next to Ami on the bed, still laughing, but finally beginning to wind down. She wrapped her arms around Ami, embracing her in a tight hug. Ami held stiff, refusing to expose her face.
"Oohhhh man!" Minako said in a high-pitched tone. "Oh man oh man!" She patted Ami on the back.
"Minako, reel it in a bit," Rei ordered sternly, hands on her hips. "Seriously, that's enough."
"Oh...okay! Okay!" Minako nodded, still grinning from ear-to-ear. "Okay, I'm...I'm cool now. Sooooo...Ami. What were ya 'researching' last night, huh?" She looked at Ami expectantly. Minako's grin suddenly vanished as her nostrils twitched a couple times. "Whoa!" She rocketed up to her feet, looking down at Ami in shock. "Holy crap!"
"What?!" Usagi asked, worriedly looking at Ami.
"She...she smells like she's been in an orgy with a soccer team!" Minako exclaimed. "Oh, whoa!" She recoiled back from Ami slightly.
"And...how do you know what that smells like?" Makoto dared to ask. "W-wait, don't...actually, don't answer that, please."
"Yeah, yeah..." Minako studied her intently, crossing her arms over her chest. "Oh yes. She tried to hide it underneath a long, hot shower and some perfume...but I can tell...something's up here!" She leaned in close to Ami. "Something is up!"
"What, Mina, are you...what are you saying?" Usagi asked, watching her two friends. "Did Ami...last night, did she..."
"No, no, no," Minako muttered. "If she did, I'd be able to tell...this one's still a virgin. But something happened last night...last night..."
Ami gave away nothing, pressing her face up to the paper pages of her book.
"Wait, wait...last night...oh my GOD!" She nearly jumped up to the ceiling. "The Masahiro party! Yeah, that was last night!" She leaned in next to Ami's face. "Oh my God, you were there! You went to the Masahiro party!"
Slowly, millimeter-by-millimeter, Ami brought the book downwards, finally exposing her face, which was revealed to have gone the color of a cooked lobster.
"Oh-HO!" Minako yelped. "This gets better and better by the minute!"
Ami dropped the book into her lap, letting it bounce to the floor. She wore the most frustrated of scowls.
"Soooo...so...so..." Minako leaned in close to Ami's face. "How did you get in? That's the question." She walked a little half-circle around Ami, not taking her eyes off of her. "Tanaka, maybe? Yeah, he's a swimmer. Maybe you got an invite through him?"
Ami blinked a couple times, fingers twitching at her sides.
"No...no...that's not it." Minako shook her finger towards Ami a couple times. "No. You're a high-roller, Ami! You don't show up for the undercard! You're all about the main event! You went straight to the top! You got into that party as the personal guest of Isao Masahiro himself!"
Slowly, Ami tilted her head up to look at Minako, focusing a flame-broiled glare right at the blonde's forehead.
"Ohoho!" Minako clapped her hands together violently, skipping around in a little circle. "You! No, you didn't!" She spun back around, wrapping her right arm around Ami's shoulders. "So, when's the wedding?!"
Ami appraised Minako with a look that was difficult to describe. It was like a look a serial killer would give to a person they had just decided would be their next victim.
"Well, no freaking wonder you gave in!" Minako continued, letting Ami go and standing at her side. "Lot of carrots in that stew!" She continued to chuckle and giggle to herself. "The biggest man cave in town, and Ami went spelunking! Man, I am gonna comb facebook later and pray that there's a picture of you there!"
"Huh, finally," Makoto said under her breath. "I'm finally starting to feel a little bad for Ami."
"Oh, I can just picture it now!" Minako said dramatically, putting her hand up in the air. "Ami Mizuno, deep in the heart of the Masahiro Manor, surrounded by the finest young men in all of Japan! And, right smack dab in the center of it all, the crown jewel of Juuban High himself!" She patted Ami on the shoulder faux-sympathetically. "Oh, yes, do I ever understand your plight!" She put her hands together up underneath her chin and began speaking in a high-pitched, spot-on Ami imitation. "Oh, oh, Isao Masahiro, you magnificent beast, just take me upstairs and ravage me! Make me feel like a woman, please!"
Ami's hands were shaking now, balling into fists.
Minako cackled yet again. "And then, oh man, I can just picture it in my head, you must have just sprinted home, loins all aquiver, lips all moist, just throbbing with the purest, most intoxicating pull of lust!"
Now, Ami's entire body shook, rage threatening to consume her.
"I guess it doesn't really matter that I'm banned from your apartment now, huh?! Because the moment you slammed that bedroom door shut, you must have unleashed forty days and forty nights all up in there!" Minako giggled. "Oh boy, I'll bet you just barely managed to get into your bedroom before the levy broke!"
Ami stepped forward, both of her hands lashing out violently, giving Minako a two-palmed shove right in the chest. Minako was knocked back a step, then fell back to the floor with a thud, sliding back a couple inches on her back. Ami, still frowning, and still a dark red, pointed at her chest.
"WELL, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE EVEN MADE IT HOME!" she growled in her lowest, most gravelly voice. With that single proclamation, she turned towards her other friends and made a beeline for the door, shoulders constricted tightly at her sides, arms stiffly swinging back and forth. Usagi quickly got out of her way, allowing her free passage out of the room. A few seconds later, she was out the door, shutting it behind her.
All the while, Minako remained laying on the carpet, chortling, looking for all the world like the happiest girl who had ever lived.
"Ohhhh man," Minako snickered. "Someone's jimmies are rustled."
"Literally and figuratively," Makoto added.
The room was just silent, save Minako's giggles, for a few seconds. Finally, Makoto turned around to look at the perfect-condition money note on the desk. "Well...anyway..."
Rei looked over at the money as well, then over to Makoto. "And then..."
Usagi popped up between the two girls. "There were three."
"Uh, two," Rei corrected, sternly pointing at Usagi. "You're disqualified."
"Nope," Usagi replied, smirking.
"Yes, you're out! You weren't honest to start!" Rei snapped.
"Well, you didn't ask about my sex habits, so tough titties!" Usagi said, a triumphant grin on her face. "Now, Rei, I know you're just now starting to realize you have no chance to beat me, but that doesn't give you the right to throw a tantrum about it."
Rei opened her mouth to reply, but quickly closed it. She squeezed her eyes closed in frustration, then popped them back open, glaring at Usagi. "Very well, Usagi. I guess I'll just beat you even with your cheating!" She leaned in closer to Usagi's face. "And when I do, everyone will know which one of us is the truly disciplined one around here!"
"Good luck with that," Usagi said, reaching up to tap Rei on the cheek a couple times. She skipped past Rei, humming to herself as she made her way over to the table in the corner. Rei tracked her across the room, a fierce glare on her backside. "Nothing's gonna stop me from winning this thing."
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1 week, 6 days, 17 hours, 15 minutes, 16 seconds...
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"What's wrong with you man?" Motoki asked, face wrinkled slightly in concern as he looked at what appeared to be a very, very rattled Mamoru. The two friends were enjoying lunch between classes in the far corner of the cafeteria, the room sparsely populated, rush hour having not quite hit yet.
Mamoru glanced around nervously, face dripping with sweat. He leaned in closer to his friend, eyes wide and face twitching. "I think I'm losing it!"
"What happened?" Motoki asked. "Something the matter?"
Mamoru looked around again, then leaned in even closer. "It's these halter tops! I don't know what's wrong with me, I can't take this, I'm dying here!"
Motoki pursed his lips, reaching up to tap his fingers on the table surface for a few seconds. "What, is this your first summer here? Come on, this happens every year around this time, what's the big deal?"
"I know!" Mamoru said through gritted teeth. "It's...I...I don't know!" he moaned. "I'm going nuts! Didn't hear a word of lecture in either of my classes this morning, and my afternoon class is like eighty percent women!" He winced. "You know me, I don't...I don't get like this!" He stopped for a moment as a trio of students walked by, but leaned back right in close to Motoki as soon as they passed. "I'm harder than a priest at a playground! If this lasts much longer I'm gonna have to call a doctor!"
Motoki raised an eyebrow. "And...what do you want me to do about it?"
Mamoru scoffed. "Well, you asked what was wrong with me!"
"Okay, so, I guess the Wizard of Oz finally gave you a penis," Motoki said dryly.
"Hey!" Mamoru scowled. "I know what I like! I've always known what I like! But I've always been able to control myself...but this...something's happened to me!"
"Well, it's called...puberty. Nice to finally see you, we've been waiting ten years," Motoki replied.
Mamoru gave an exasperated sigh, glaring at his friend.
"Look, at the risk of stating the obvious, why don't you just...go home after school and...take care of it?" Motoki suggested.
"No, no, I tried that last night," Mamoru said under his breath. "This happened to me yesterday too, so I...did my thing last night, and it's just not getting it done! It's worse today!"
"Uh...by doing your thing...what are you talking about?" Motoki asked, picking a celery stick up from his tray and putting it in his mouth.
Mamoru's shoulders fell slightly. "You don't know? And in your world, I'm the one who just went through puberty?"
"No, look, it's...if you did the solo act, then what I'm saying is...maybe you need to upgrade to first class. Your days of jerking off in the shower are supposed to be over!"
Mamoru sat there silently, folding his arms together on the table, staring at Motoki.
Motoki sighed. "You do still have a girlfriend, right?"
"Oh, oh, no, that's not an option either." Mamoru waved his hand dismissively. "It's not sex night."
Motoki pursed his lips. "Sex night?"
"Yeah, sex night, it's not sex night. Me and Usako have sex once a month, I have it marked on my calendar and everything."
Motoki could only summon a flat stare at his friend at this.
"So...yeah, that's off the table—"
"Hey, buddy," Motoki said. "I'll check later, just to be sure, but I'm almost positive that there's no law concerning...sex night."
"Well, it's our thing, it's what we do. Sex once a month, it's our system," Mamoru explained.
"Well, maybe it's time to change the system," Motoki said. "Look, I know that there's the...age difference, and I respect your discretion, but...times are a'changing!" He leaned in towards him. "She's eighteen now, go a little nuts, you don't gotta be a gentleman all the time. Not that I know for sure, but based off what I know about Usagi...I don't think she's gonna mind if you up the dosage."
Mamoru blinked a few times, furtively staring down at the table in front of him, deep in thought. "But it's not sex night," he said lamely.
"Buddy, you've got a fiancee, every night is sex night!" Motoki jumped up, standing up tall over his friend, hands on his hips. "Now come on, I don't like seeing you like this! You gotta bring the ruckus to that ass, tonight!"
"I don't know..." Mamoru mumbled. "That just doesn't seem right to me."
"Hey, don't get me wrong, I know she's adorable as hell. But she's not that fourteen-year-old junior high student who threw a test paper at you anymore!" Motoki shook his head. "That's a bona fide woman you're engaged to! So, if you're feeling it between the legs, the only solution is to run that ass into the ground!"
Mamoru grimaced. "I dunno if...I'm into...running asses in the ground, Motoki—"
"Running asses into the ground is what men do!" Motoki hooked his arm under Mamoru's armpit and hauled him into a standing position. "Since the beginning of time, that's how this works! Man runs that ass into the ground. Now look at me!" He pulled Mamoru's face close to his. "I don't wanna hear this whining tomorrow. You got a perfectly good girl a phone call away, you got nothing to complain about!"
Finally, Mamoru nodded. "Well...yeah, I guess...okay, I'll—"
"No no no, you gotta sound like you mean it!" Motoki insisted. "Mamoru, you've got an ass to run into the ground, you gotta be into it! Come on, you don't need to play the prude anymore! That is your woman, you claim her the way men have claimed women for thousands of years!"
Mamoru put his hand up to his bottom lip. "Yeah...yeah...that's right!" He started to smile. "Yeah, I got this! Yeah!"
"Alright!" Motoki smacked his back a couple times. "You do whatever you gotta do to get through the day, head on home, and piledrive that ass into the ground until you hit the mantle!"
"
1 week, 6 days, 23 hours, 43 minutes, 56 seconds...
"
Usagi pushed the apartment door open, sauntering in, quickly removing her shoes as she scanned the main room. "Yo!" She took a few steps across the foyer and looked over the recently re-organized living room. "Yeah, it's like I said, Mamo-chan, that rug totally brings the room together—"
She glanced over to her left, down the hall, stopping dead in her tracks at the sight. Mamoru was leaning against one of the walls, arms crossed over his chest, wearing a smirk and a plaid tie.
And absolutely nothing else.
"Heeeeey," Mamoru said whimsically.
Usagi just stared in bewilderment, looking her fiancee up and down.
"And I disagree," Mamoru added, slowly approaching her. "Personally, I think the room needs a little something else. Like say, maybe...your clothes scattered all across the floor."
Usagi raised an eyebrow. "Are you feeling okay?"
"I'll be feeling a lot better in about five minutes," Mamoru said suggestively.
"Uh...wow," Usagi said, glancing down at the floor next to her. "Did you get brainwashed again?"
"Okay," Mamoru said sternly, stopping right next to her and pulling the tie off of his neck. "I really don't have any patience right now, so I'll just get to the point." He leaned in close to her face, eyes wide. "I wanna fuck you."
Usagi recoiled slightly from him, taking a half-step back. "What?"
Mamoru gave a little sigh. "Do I need to write it down? I wanna have sex with you!" He put his hand on her shoulder. "In fact, I wish that sex had an alternative plural form so I could use it, to make it abundantly clear exactly how much sex I wanna have with you! Got it?"
Usagi blinked a few times. "But it's not sex night—"
"And tonight's the night that we say, to hell with sex night!" Mamoru finished, grinning again. "A new era begins tonight, Usako! So, let's hit the bedroom, I've got six different flavors of edible lingerie for you to try on!"
Usagi's mouth fell open a couple inches, eyes going wide as she glanced out the window to her right. Mamoru just stood there, looking quite proud of himself.
"Errr..." Usagi stammered.
"Did I stutter or something?" Mamoru asked. "C'mon!"
"Look, Mamo-chan," Usagi said, looking back at her beloved. "I am...incredibly thrilled about this development, I really am...I've been waiting for it for awhile, honestly, and I truly can't wait to begin this...new era." She grimaced. "Buuuut...I actually can't help you right now." She quickly sidled past him. "Sorry, really, but it's not a good time. I should probably just...get out of here," she said uneasily, pointing at the front door over her shoulder with her thumb.
Mamoru took a moment to get his bearings back after Usagi dropped that one on him, but quickly shook it off as Usagi tried to back towards the door. "Usako!" he snapped. "Look, I love foreplay as much as the next guy, but I don't have time for this right now!"
"I-it's not foreplay, Mamo-chan," Usagi said. "S-sorry, but...it really is just bad timing."
Mamoru put his right hand up against his forehead. "I checked, you're not supposed to be on your...thing yet—"
"You can just say period," Usagi interrupted. "And no, that's not it, I'm...look, I'm...I'm in a contest right now."
Mamoru put his hands on his hips. "A contest," he repeated.
"Yeah, a contest."
Mamoru tapped his foot on the ground a couple times. "I don't get it."
"Uh...look, me and...me and the girls, we're having a contest to see who can go the longest without orgasm. We're two weeks in, and I'm running away with it, so...yeah, sorry, can't help." She shrugged, then turned to walk towards the front door.
Mamoru just stared at her backside for a moment, then shook his head and ran across the room, jumping in front of her just before she got to the door. "I'm sorry, I must have seriously misheard you, Usako, because I could have sworn you just said—"
"No, you heard right!" Usagi protested. "Me, Ami, Rei, Mako and Mina. Only three people left and I'm winning it, so...yeah, sorry—"
"This is what you girls do in your spare time?!" Mamoru exclaimed. "My God!"
"Look, I think I should just...leave, this is already pretty awkward." She tried to duck past Mamoru, but Mamoru simply put his hand up on the upper corner of his apartment door, holding it closed.
"Usako." He leaned in closer to her, scowling. "If this is a joke, I am not laughing."
"It's not a joke, really, I'm...I'm in a contest, okay?" She pointed at the door. "Now please, just let me go and I'll...take a rain check for about two or three weeks from now—"
"Rain check? Do I look like a car wash to you?!" Mamoru grumbled. "Rain check? No, no, Usako, I..." he squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. "Usako. I need sex. Now. Like, really."
Usagi sighed. "Well, I'm real sorry, just go...jerk off in the shower," she said, sweeping past him and grabbing the knob and twisting it, trying to pull it open.
"My days of jerking off in the shower are over!" Mamoru protested, holding the door shut. "Come on, who cares about a stupid contest?! You get to have sex! Isn't that better?"
"We will have sex!" Usagi said, reaching up and slapping at Mamoru's hand. Reluctantly, reasoning that he could not be justified in holding her prisoner, he dropped his hand back to his side. She cracked the door open and turned back to him. "We'll have as much sex as you want in a few weeks after I've won!"
"I don't have a few weeks!" Mamoru whined. "Usako, I'm a man! I have needs!"
Usagi sighed. "Look, I...okay, compromise." She held her right hand up towards Mamoru. "Handjob?"
Mamoru scowled. "No! I'm better at them than you anyway!"
"Then we've got nothing to discuss," Usagi said, slipping through the open doorway, turning around to look back up at her fiancee. "Look, believe me, I really really hope you've still got this positive attitude in a few weeks here, nothing would make me happier, so...just try to hold onto those thoughts. And in the meantime...old people and baseball."
She slammed the door shut with a dulled thud, leaving a truly confused and irritated, not to mention naked, Mamoru standing there, hands on his hips.
"What the hell?!" he snapped, to himself more than anything.
"
2 weeks, 0 days, 21 hours, 59 minutes, 07 seconds...
"
"I just think that 'Rice and Beans' implies some degree of balance." Usagi picked through the plate of food in front of her. "I mean, this is like...you should put the 'Rice' in giant bold text and 'Beans' in fine print. I dunno, this is totally askew, the ratio is way off."
"Well, the rice is supposed to be the actual dish," Ami said, looking over at Usagi's plate. "The beans are flavoring."
"No, that's not right," Usagi said quietly, scooping up a forkful of the food. "I didn't order rice and rice and rice and rice and beans. Obviously you want more rice, but...this is like 'Rice and Bean'." She shrugged.
Minako picked up her plastic water cup, a small grin on her face. The three friends were seated in front of a cafe, around a small circular table with an umbrella blooming from the center, enjoying the outdoor seating amidst the beautiful afternoon, waiting for Makoto to show up so they could make the block-long trek over to the Hiwaka Shrine.
Minako brought the almost-full cup of water out to her right side, then tipped it over slightly. A tiny stream of water began to pour down to the concrete pavement below, quickly being swept into the tiny sewer grate right beneath her seat.
"What are you doing?" Usagi asked. Ami, however, quickly reached down into the bag by her side and pulled a book out, opening it and burying herself in it, wearing a scowl.
Minako continued to slowly spill the water down into the sewer. "Pouring out a forty to remember the recently deceased."
"Wait, who died?" Usagi asked, leaning over the table to look at the water flow. Ami gave a small groan from the book.
"Oh, we've had quite a few unfortunate accidents lately," Minako said wryly, looking at Ami out of the corner of her eyes. "Let's see here...the body count includes, but is not limited to...Ami Mizuno's self-righteousness, Ami Mizuno's dignity, Ami Mizuno's self-image..."
Ami growled, lips curling down even further.
Usagi couldn't help but let out a little chuckle, looking over at Ami. After a second, however, she looked over at Minako. "C'mon, Mina, that's enough."
"No no no, respect for the dead is what separates us from the animals," Minako replied, slowly letting the final drips of water slip from the small container. Ami closed her eyes, reaching up with her right hand to rub the bridge of her nose.
"Where's Mako anyway?" Usagi turned to look down the sidewalk. "Should we just go to the shrine?"
"Give her another minute," Minako suggested.
"
Twenty Minutes Prior...
"
"Yeah, that's basically the long and short of it," Makoto finished, bringing the small teacup up to her lips. It looked even more comical in her massive hands. "Pretty intense stuff, high stakes, the whole nine yards."
On the other side of the small, luxury patio table, a towering, bronze-skinned woman sat, elbows on the armrests of the chair, face pulled taunt to express a combination of disgust and confusion. Setsuna, the mysterious elder of the senshi, master of time and possessing an ageless elegance that even this subject matter couldn't quite take away.
"So, you get me?" Makoto asked, setting the tea cup down with a slightly shaking hand.
"...I have...no idea what possessed you to think that I would have any interest in hearing about this," Setsuna said uncomfortably, glancing to her right, back into the large mansion that she called home.
"W-well, I actually was hoping to get your help," Makoto said, voice a little strained, smile clearly forced. "It's getting really, really intense, and...I don't think I can take it much longer. So anyway, last night, I was thinking about how long I've gone without an orgasm, and then it hit me...y'know, time! That's why I'm here. Basically, what I need is for you to...uh...basically create a little...time bubble. Size of a soccer ball, easy stuff. Freeze the passage of time inside this bubble, and just put it..." she gestured down towards her crotch, "y'know...down around the butter boat."
Setsuna just sat there, stock-still, blinking every few seconds, staring at Makoto.
"I mean, not that I'm an expert, but...I really think it would work." Makoto nodded enthusiastically. "At least worth a try, right?"
"
"Come on, it's one tiny time bubble!" Makoto protested as Setsuna gripped her right forearm, pushing her through the living room, back towards the front door. "You could do it in your sleep!" Haruka and Michiru watched the pair silently from the living room couch.
"Kindly leave my house," Setsuna instructed, voice still flat and calm, betraying nothing.
"Setsuna, please!" Makoto pleaded. "You have to help me out here!"
"I really don't have to," Setsuna replied, continuing to lightly push her along towards the door.
"Okay, okay, listen," Makoto said, as she was forcibly pushed onto the foyer. "How about you create two time bubbles in which time is sped up, and then place those in...two certain, strategic locations? Better?"
"Go do your homework, please," Setsuna said, voice weary, releasing Makoto as the two came close to the door.
"Oh come on!" Makoto whined, Setuna opening the door in a single motion and beckoning her to leave. "You owe me!"
"No, I do not," Setsuna countered simply.
Makoto growled, but stomped outside nonetheless. "You'd do it for Usagi or Ami if they asked you!" she grumbled.
Setsuna shut the door behind Makoto, standing there for a moment, hand on the knob. Slowly, she shook her head.
Haruka looked up from the couch, glancing out the window as Makoto marched down the stone path, back out to the sidewalk. "What were they doing? A...masturbation contest?"
"Yeah," Michiru replied. "We need the forces of evil to attack again, those girls clearly have far too much free time."
Setsuna slowly walked back to the living room, remaining silent, crossing to the single-seat chair to the right of the couch and settling back down. She picked up a small book from the end table and opened it up in her lap.
"A masturbation contest..." Haruka mused to herself. "That sounds like fun!"
"What's a masturbation contest?"
Both Haruka and Michiru jumped at the sound of the meek-sounding voice, quickly spinning around, both going wide-eyed at the sight of Hotaru sitting by the steps near the opposite hallway, holding a large doll in her arms.
"Uhh, uh..." Haruka stammered. "H-how long have you been sitting there?"
"Awhile," Hotaru answered nonchalantly.
Michiru jumped to her feet and quickly scampered around the couch, briskly walking over to Hotaru. "Why don't you, uh, go play upstairs?" She moved her hands in a sweeping motion.
"Okay," Hotaru agreed, standing up and making her way up the wooden planks. "But what's a masturbation contest?"
"It's...it's a contest to see...who can eat the most ice cream!" Haruka said frantically as Michiru herded Hotaru upstairs. As soon as Hotaru was out of side, Haruka grimaced. "Oh, fuck me."
"Ice cream?" Michiru repeated, spinning around and walking back over to the couch.
"Sorry, I panicked!" Haruka said, averting her eyes and spinning back around on the couch.
"Now we won't be able to have ice cream around here until she turns eighteen," Michiru groaned.
"Eighteen?" Haruka repeated. "What is this, a nunnery?"
Michiru just rolled her eyes and plopped back down on the couch next to Haruka. "Also, I...don't think that the...masturbation contest is what you're thinking it is."
"Oh." Haruka bit her lower lip. "Well, what else could it be?"
"I think it was...the opposite of that," Michiru stated, crossing her right leg up on her left knee. "Like a...no-masturbation contest."
"Huh." Haruka squinted. "That sounds like the...opposite of fun."
Setsuna turned a page in her book, the only sound marking the silence of the next few seconds.
"Well...guess it might be interesting," Haruka admitted to herself. "Hey Michiru, wanna have a no-masturbation contest?"
"No," Michiru replied, grabbing a magazine from the armrest of the couch and opening it in front of her.
Haruka stared at her partner for a few seconds, then looked over at Setsuna. "Setsuna—"
"No."
Haruka pursed her lips, reaching her arm back to rest against the backrest of the couch. "Huh. Then I guess I win."
"Good for you," Setsuna said, voice low and clipped.
Haruka gave a tiny smile. "Cool." She got to her feet. "I'm gonna go celebrate by masturbating."
"You do that," Setsuna replied, flipping to the next page in her book.
"
2 weeks, 0 days, 22 hours, 12 minutes, 46 seconds...
"
"Where were you anyway?" Usagi asked, the four girls walking down the sidewalk. Makoto, the new addition to the group, was holding a stress ball in either hand, aggressively squeezing them violently as she walked with her friends.
"Why, are you taking a survey?!" Makoto snapped, one of the stress balls popping in her fist. "Ugh! Cheap American-made crap!" She threw the remains of the ball into the street.
"Sorry I asked," Usagi grumbled as the four walked up the steps to the holy shrine. As they went upwards, however, a cacophonic stream of yelling became evident. As they moved closer, getting to the top of the steps, they could make it out.
"—should just take you to the fucking zoo and trade you in for a chimpanzee, nobody would ever notice the difference, and at least then I'd expect it when the chimpanzee fucks up everything I ask him to do!"
"Oh, no," Minako muttered, eyes levelling towards the main structure of the shrine. "I know that tone."
Usagi, Minako and Ami took off into a jog towards the building, Makoto considerably less interested in the proceedings and hanging back, maintaining her pace.
"Look at you, you're fucking pathetic, you stupid piece of shit! You call yourself a man, you're the sorriest excuse for a man I've ever seen in my god damn life! The best part of you slid down the crack of your mother's asshole and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress!"
The three girls screeched through the front entrance of the temple and made their way through the wooden halls, coming to a halt when they came to the hall in front of Rei's bedroom. Sure enough, Rei was standing there, giving her trademark scowl and targetting her wrath at a well-used target. Yuuchirou stood right in front of her, body stiff as a board and eyes wide as saucers, looking for all the world like an army recruit being berated by a drill sergeant.
"I am disgusted to be part of the same species as you! You're a cock. sucker. mother. fucker!" Rei continued. "Go make yourself useful and throw yourself into the sacred fire!"
With that, she spun around on her heel and stepped back into her room, slamming the sliding door shut violently behind her. Yuuchirou just stood there, body starting to shake slightly as soon as Rei had left his sight.
"Ooooooh," Usagi said under her breath. Quietly, she made her way down the hall. "Hey...buddy, Yuuchirou, so...that was awful, but...well, she doesn't mean it." She went up to his side and patted his back gently. He still hadn't moved, facial expression still frozen in a mask of sheer terror.
"Yeah, hang in there," Minako said sympathetically. "She's not mad at you, she's mad at...well, she'd kill me if I told you, but...trust me, she's not mad at you—"
"That was the most unpleasant experience of my life," Yuuchirou said, voice soulless and flat, slowly turning down the hall the girls had just come from, shuffling off. "I feel nauseous." Dejected and miserable, he stiffly walked away, head hanging.
Ami sighed. "Usagi, could you maybe—"
"Yeah yeah, I'll go talk him off the ledge," Usagi said, following him down the hall and falling into stride by his side. "Hey, come on, you know she'd never actually mean any of that, it's okay..."
"Thank you," Ami called out to Usagi's back. Mina pulled the bedroom door open, revealing Rei sitting on the floor by her bed, holding a large icepack on her crotch. She was panting, face covered in sweat and beet red, legs twitching.
"So." Ami stepped into the room, crossing her arms over her chest. "Proud of yourself?"
"Shut up!" Rei hissed through gritted teeth, pressing the ice into her crotch. "This isn't your business!"
Minako closed the door behind her as she stepped in. "What the hell did he do?"
Rei stood up. "That...you...that...he cleaned the windchimes and...stupid fuckhead got the spacing wrong when he re-hung them!" she spat. "The spacing was all messed up, the shrine looked like a goddamn funhouse, and...I swear, he does that shit just to...to piss me off!" she lurched across the room, every step an effort for her. "He does it just to get on my nerves, I just know it, I...I..."
Ami pursed her lips. "Do you have any idea how big your apology is going to have to be, Rei?"
"Yeah, I know!" Rei yelled, sitting down at her desk chair, squeezing the ice bag between her legs tightly. "I'll deal with it after I win this contest!"
"No, Rei, now!" Ami insisted.
"I'm not apologizing to anyone for anything right now, I'll do it later!" Rei re-iterated, leaning back against her chair heavily and trying to settle herself.
"Yuuchirou is not a computer that you can stick in the garage for a month before you fix it!" Ami protested. "There might not be a later, he might leave!"
"I said, I will deal with it later!" Rei grunted, reaching underneath the chair and grabbing the lever, lowering the chair towards the floor.
"And on a related note, Rei," Ami continued, looking at the blue bag on Rei's privates. "If you can't handle being in the contest, you need to get out of it."
"That's not your concern!" Rei growled, pushing her sweaty hair out from her face. "I'm perfectly capable of handling being in this contest!"
"You are literally holding a bag of ice on your crotch!" Ami pointed out, indicating the pack. "You can't just go around treating people like this!"
"For the last time. I will deal with it later!" Rei frowned deeply, smacking her fist down on her desk.
"That's not how this works!" Ami insisted. "It's not fair to the people around you, it's very inconsiderate!"
"No, you're inconsiderate!" Rei countered. "I'm not dropping out of the contest, so stop bitching about it already!"
"You people are weird," Minako muttered, sitting down on the floor and stretching out. "That five grand I paid to get out was the best five grand I ever spent in my life. Guess how many times I did it yesterday?"
Ami sighed. "Rei, I will pay you five thousand yen to drop out of the contest!" She took her purse off of her shoulder and held it out towards Rei. "Literally, right here, right now, I will give you five thousand yen!"
"I don't give a shit about the money," Rei growled, standing up.
"No seriously, take a guess how many times I—"
"SHUT UP!" Rei screeched, turning to look at Minako's now prone figure.
Ami stared at Rei for a couple seconds. "Then why is this just the most important thing in the world, exactly?"
Rei cleared her throat, slowly approaching Ami. "Okay. Look. I get it. Usagi gets to have the perfect husband, gets to be Queen of the Earth, gets to be the most powerful being in the galaxy...fine, fine! That's all dandy! And I have to abandon all my hopes and dreams to serve by her side as a guardian, yeah, sure! I accept that! Fine! More than happy! She wins, I get it!" She got right up close to Ami, leaning in close to her face. "But...this? This right here? This is mine! This is my domain, and I am not letting her take this from me! Discipline is my corner! And whatever I have to do, whatever it takes, I am not losing a battle of willpower and discipline to Usagi! I will not live with that shame for the rest of my life!"
Ami stared at her, mouth dropping open slightly in disbelief. "T-that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! None of us are even going to remember we had this stupid contest in three months, so—"
"I don't care if I have to chop my hands off," Rei interrupted, speaking through gritted teeth. "I don't care if I have to self-induce a coma. I don't care what it takes!" Her eyes narrowed into dangerous slits. "I am not losing to Usagi."
"Rei, you sound like a crazy person," Ami insisted. "This contest doesn't matter at all, if you don't care about the money, you really need to just do what you need to do so you can act like a normal human being! Besides...you're clearly going to lose to her no matter what you do, so you may as well get it over with—"
Rei reached forward, grabbing Ami by the collar, and yanked her close. "One more time, Ami. I will say it just one more time."
She looked deep into Ami's eyes.
"I—"
She pulled Ami a fraction of an inch closer, their noses practically touching now.
"—am not—"
Now, their noses were actually pressing up against each other, Ami frantically trying to avert her eyes, slightly scared of what she saw in Rei's.
"—losing—"
Their faces were sandwiched right up against each others now, foreheads tightly pushed together.
"—to Usagi."
Rei released Ami, letting her quickly back off as the door slid back open to admit Usagi. "Alright, I talked to him, I think he'll live..." she didn't sound especially sure of herself.
"Where'd Mako go?" Mina asked, looking up and surveying the room.
Amid the sudden silence, the group was able to make out a hacking cough from outside the bedroom, on the other side of the wall. The group looked over and saw a shadow being cast against the paper wall, in the rough shape of a human.
Usagi's nose twitched a couple times. "W-wait a minute..."
"Oh, for the love of..." Ami spun around and sprinted through the door, followed quickly by Usagi, Rei, and Minako, the foursome racing down the hall and out into the backyard court area. Ami was out first, and froze in horror at what she saw.
Makoto stood there, a few dozen steps from the back entrance to the shrine, back turned to her friends, holding a lit cigarette up to her mouth and inhaling deeply.
"Mako!" Ami yelped, putting her hands up by the sides of her head. "What are you doing?!"
The other girls stopped beside Ami, looking over at their friend, who was exhaling out the polluted smoke, all the while sounding as if she was coughing up a lung.
"Writing a broadway musical, what does it look like I'm doing?!" Makoto snapped as soon as her hacking cough had passed. She flicked some little chars off the tip of her cigarette, then brought it back up to her mouth.
"Oh my God," Usagi said, mouth wide open in shock as Makoto took a long drag from the little tobacco stick.
"Takes the edge off," Makoto said throatily, again trying to smoothly bring the smoke into her lungs and push it back out, but again succeeding only in irritating her throat and throwing her into a whooping cough. "Helps me relax. Gotta have it!"
"Where the hell did you get cigarettes?" Minako asked, Ami quickly making her way across the yard over to Makoto, a look of determination on her face.
Makoto pulled a worn cigarette carton from her front pocket. "Found it in a dumpster behind my apartment building," she explained, voice ratty and scratchy.
"Okay, Mako, this isn't a request," Ami said sternly, holding her right hand up and beckoning towards the carton. "Hand that over, and—"
Makoto shoved it back in her pocket, scowling back at Ami. "From my cold, dead hand, bitch," she grunted.
Ami held her hand out towards her. "Mako. Now."
"Are you prepared to kill me?" Makoto put the cigarette back up to her mouth. "Because that's what it's gonna take." As she went into yet another round of coughing, Ami smacked herself in the eyes and slowly shook her head back and forth helplessly.
"
2 weeks, 4 days, 0 hours, 20 minutes, 21 seconds...
"
"Usako, this isn't funny!" Mamoru hissed, hunching over, right hand on his kitchen counter, glaring over at his girlfriend.
"I never intended it to be funny," Usako protested, sitting on the barstool behind the kitchen counter. "Come on, it's gonna be a few more days at most, you should see Makoto and Rei these days."
"Usako." Mamoru slowly moved around the counterspace. "I'm worried for my health!"
"Don't be a big baby," Usagi chided. "Now, are we gonna have dinner or not?"
Mamoru sighed. "Usako, I...really answer me here, what is such a big deal about a contest with your friends?!"
"It's a thing we're doing, what do you mean?" Usagi raised an eyebrow. "Like, whoever wins gets...bragging rights, it's pride, don't tell me you don't understand that!"
"Who gives a rip about pride?!" Mamoru protested. "Come on, don't you like having sex?"
"Yes, very much so," Usagi said. "And there is actually a money element here, it's a money bet too."
Mamoru's shoulders dropped slightly. "Money?"
"Yeah, we made it a money bet. We each put in five thousand yen, winner takes it all, so...there's that too." She shrugged. "Y'know...mad cheddar."
Mamoru rolled his eyes, reaching down towards his front left pocket and pulling out his wallet. "Okay, look!" He pulled the leather pouch open and removed a five thousand yen bill, holding it out towards her. "Here is five thousand yen, I will give it to you if you have sex with me!"
Usagi stared at the bill for several seconds, Mamoru just holding it up in front of her. Finally, Mamoru's expression softened, and he brought the bill back to his side.
"Oh my God, I am so sorry," Mamoru said, sounding slightly fearful.
"Yeah, you better be," Usagi replied, giving Mamoru a judgemental look.
"I wasn't thinking, I—"
"Gonna have to do a lot better than that," Usagi added, looking down at the single bill in his hands.
"I...wait, what?" Mamoru looked down at his wallet. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, if you're gonna buy me off, buy me off," Usagi said. "It's not just about what I put it, it's about what I'm getting out. Like I said, winner takes it all."
Mamoru looked down at the bill in his one hand and wallet in the other, mentally debating the morality of the decision he was contemplating.
It didn't take long.
He threw the bill down on the counter in front of Usagi, then re-opened his wallet and pulled out three thousand yen bills, casting them down next to her as well. "Eight thousand."
"Puh," Usagi said, rolling her eyes. "Just because I barely get by in math doesn't mean I don't understand negotiation leverage, sweetie-pie. You're gonna need to go all the way if you want me to go all the way."
"I am not paying you twenty five grand for sex!" Mamoru said indignantly. "Come on, that buys you out of this contest and pays for two afternoons at the arcade! Plus, again, you get to have sex!"
"Please, darling, you're good, but you're not that good," Usagi said dismissively. "Twenty thousand, and only because I love you."
Mamoru frowned at her passive little dig, but quickly re-focused on his objective. "Okay...I understand your position, so...against my better judgement...I can make it ten." He threw two more thousand yen bills down. "Come on, that's five figures!"
Usagi looked down at the pile of bills on the counter in front of her, contemplating it, then giving Mamoru an appraising look. He leaned up close to her, eyes wide and pleading.
"Usako. Don't make me beg," Mamoru said, sounding desperate.
After a few more seconds, Usagi slammed her palm down on the counter. "Deal!"
Instantly, Usagi was swept off of the barstool, taken into Mamoru's strong arms. She gave a little shriek as Mamoru turned around and raced toward the hallway behind them, Mamoru frantically unbuttoning his shirt with one hand as he made off with her.
"
2 weeks, 4 days, 5 hours, 51 minutes, 30 seconds...
"
Rei tossed and turned atop her bed, modified to suit her desperate needs. She had rounded up everything she could find in the house that could be used as an icepack and had filled them all, laying them beneath her atop the sheets, keeping her entire body cold. Even with this, comfort eluded her, as she frantically tried every single sleep position she could think of.
"
Makoto grabbed the edge of her bed blanket and absentmindedly tore a large rip in it, pulling the thin sheet in two all the way down it's length. As soon as the blanket had been separated into two roughly equal pieces, she took one of them and began shredding it with her strong fingers, tossing slivers and chunks of cloth and fabric left and right, reducing her blanket to ribbons.
"
"And I thought...it was good before..." Usagi panted, laying flat on the right side of Mamoru's bed, looking up at the ceiling, huffing and puffing. Mamoru gave a satisfied moan from the other side of the bed, stretching his back out.
"Oh yeah," he muttered. "Ooohhhh yeah."
The couple looked at each other, exchanging a short silence.
"Again?" Mamoru asked.
"Again!" Usagi said excitedly, allowing Mamoru to climb back on top of her.