Characters are not mine.
Another short one since today is Sunday and you only got a short one earlier.
Let's see how dinner works out.
Plus we'll see what Maura did to always be there for Jane.
When Maura arrived at her house she could see the lights on in her kitchen. Angela had let herself into the house and was cooking. Opening the door she could smell delicious food. "Thank you for cooking, Angela.", she said after spotting the older woman setting the table. Angela just smiled and then went back into the kitchen to get the food.
"May I ask you why you came home early? Not that I would mind." They had to talk after all. "I missed my children. You included." The warmth that overtook Maura made her relax. Being told she was part of the family still triggered the most overwhelming feelings. They enjoyed their dinner in silence for some time.
"Maura what's going on with you and Janie?" The doctor swallowed hard. "Jane-" She hadn't planned this conversation completely. "Jane has not been herself lately." Angela nodded. She had seen the change, too.
"Three days ago she finally told me why." Could she really do this?
"Angela, she has nightmares and trouble sleeping. She often stays awake for nights or gets panic attacks after waking up." Angela looked hurt. She had always known this job would do something bad to her daughter.
"Last night she had such an attack and I was so scared because I couldn't help her." A lonely tear made it's way down as she remembered Jane in the bathroom. "We talked about it today, and we got very emotional. Last night I realized I couldn't live without Jane, that's why I held onto her so tightly."
Angela got up and pulled Maura into a hug. "Thank you Maura." Why was she thanking her? She couldn't help Jane when she should have. She had almost let her die. Why was she thanking her?
Angela saw the confusion. "Thank you for being there for her. She hasn't hugged anyone like that for years. You're the first one to be allowed to touch her like that. I am not allowed to do that." Maura noticed the pain in Angela's eyes.
"And now go back to her. I'm able to clean up by myself." As much as Maura tried to help Angela, she ended up in front of her own door without having touched one dish.
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Jane had noticed Maura had behaved funny after leaving the bathroom before she left. She didn't ask, but now she was curious. Plus it helped her calm her nerves down. She opened one drawer and one cupboard after another before finally seeing it. Maura had taken the box filled with blades.
Instead of the familiar box, there was a light orange box with darker hearts all over it. Nervously Jane took the box out and opened it. There was one single blade wrapped in a plastic bag inside. Next to it where several sheets of paper. Jane took the one lying on top and unfolded it.
Dear Jane,
As you might have noticed I have taken your blades away.
I don't want to force you to not harm yourself again, as it is proven that it doesn't do recovery any favour.
In case you feel the need to cut, please use the blade I left.
I sterilized it, so you can use it without the risk of infection.
I will give you a new one every week, so you can lower the risk even more.
I love you,
M.
Jane had tears in her eyes. How did she deserve this woman? She picked up the plastic with the blade and took a closer look at it. This wasn't one of her blades. Maura must have had bought it for her. She didn't believe it. Maura was... There were no words for what Maura was to Jane.
Carefully she got the other notes out.
Before you do it:
-Am I staying with you? Please come and wake me up.
-Am I not staying with you? Please call me or message me.
-Am I not able to talk to you? Take one of the other notes. If they don't work please don't feel guilty and call me afterwards.
Then she began reading another one.
I am not there for you?
-Take a rubber band and snatch it against your wrist
-Get a piece of carton and try to cut or rip it into pieces
-Scream
-Work out
-Throw things (be careful not to destroy anything)
-Draw on your skin with a pen
.
.
.
Jane didn't go on. She put everything back in the box and placed it on it's spot. She had to thank Maura. All nervousness about Maura and her Ma were gone. Calling Korsak she smiled.