Upheaval: Reckoning
Chapter 38: A Hero of Equestria
"SLICE! SLICE! SLICE! SLICE!"
The triumphant shouts that came from what seemed to be hundreds of ponies left Applejack exhilarated and bewildered all at once. What was happening here? She recalled going to sleep after a day's traveling, and now she was standing somewhere. The ground under her hooves was the dry, rocky ground of a hill or a mountain, not the damp, forest floor that she should be sleeping on. A second later, Applejack realized that she was not even looking at her hooves. The usual orange-furred legs attached to her were a deep russet in color and were much larger.
'What in tarnation-?'
There was little time to ponder that sudden change, however. Applejack found herself walking up the steep slope of a hill despite not wanting to. She heard a familiar jingling around her neck, and realized that she was still wearing Apple Slice's magic chain. The crowd gathered downhill of where she was continued to chant. As she reared up and raised a hoof to their delighted uproar, it was becoming more and more clear to her that she was wearing something more than just Apple Slice's chain.
For a few minutes, Applejack simply looked on as "she" stirred up the crowd of, what she guessed were legionnaires, with a fierce neigh and a few twirls from her lasso.
"SLICE! SLICE! SLICE! SLICE!" the crowd continued to chant. Most of them were earth ponies in heavy barding, stomping at the ground and rearing joyously at the display. There was no hiding the bloody bandages that covered many of them. Several had their forelegs in slings, while a couple of them were missing an eye. None of these things could dampen the cheer.
Eventually, Applejack began to walk downhill along with several ponies. She didn't recognize a single one of them but they looked at her as if they had known her all their lives. The closest to her was a gaunt earth pony stallion with a light yellow coat and a curly, light green mane. He kept in pace with Applejack while the others walked ahead. It was then that Applejack realized that she had a limp on her left hind leg. Nopony else seemed to have noticed save for this pony.
"Another good fight, Apple Slice," the yellow earth pony said. The smile on his face lessened a bit. "Are you going to be alright?"
"Just a bad landing after that ursan tossed me around a bit."
"Maybe we should have a medic get a better look at it. It might be something bad."
"Are you that worried about my health, Grapevine, or are you looking out for one the Legion's tools?" Apple Slice asked.
"One doesn't cancel out the other," was the impassive reply.
Applejack felt "her" mouth move each time she "spoke", but it wasn't her voice that came out. This Grapevine stallion called her "Apple Slice" confirming her suspicions once and for all.
"So what's next for you then?" the yellow earth pony asked.
"Home, Grapevine, home," Apple Slice replied. "I've got a lot to do when I get there. Peel's already expecting his first foal. I haven't even met his wife yet!"
The smile on Grapevine's face completely disappeared. "Should we expect you to return?" he asked in a low voice.
Apple Slice didn't reply right away. When he did, it was in a voice as low as Grapevine's. "Family first, Grapevine," he said. "You understand, don't you?"
"What I understand is that the Legion needs you, Slice," Grapevine replied. "The Apple Family will still have the safety of the Heartland where they can sow and harvest their crops in peace. Morale will drop if mighty Apple Slice chose to leave the Legion for the Heartland, among the earth ponies especially. You're a hero and an inspiration to all of us, the first we can proudly say to match the likes of Ash Frost and Storm Rage. You can't just disappear into the Heartland and never be heard from again!"
Applejack felt Apple Slice's jaw clench in frustration before he replied. "Hero!" he said with a snort. "You and the others keep using that word! If I've ever been a hero, it would be because I knew what I was fighting for! Every battle I charge into, I think of my father and mother, my brothers and sisters. How am I supposed to be this hero everypony sees knowing that I will never see or hear from them ever again?"
"And would you be happier in the Heartland instead?" Grapevine asked. The outburst from Apple Slice did little to aggravate or cow him. "Would you rather be Apple Slice, the farmer who can't farm or Apple Slice, the shepherd who scares his own flock? Can you sit down and enjoy your harvest while your brothers and sisters in the Legion fight on without you? Maybe you can find some other trade, but could you settle down knowing that the war goes on without you helping?"
"I can't," Apple Slice replied with a snort. "What am I supposed to do, Grapevine? Forget my family and fight on 'for Equestria'? Equestria's too big and it has no face. What am I supposed to think of before I lay my life out on the line? A flag? A map?" He ground his teeth. Applejack could only sympathize with her ancestor. She didn't know the entirety of the situation, but she had a good feel of it. This was probably just right before the division. 'He's not an insane killer," she thought with some relief. It wasn't much though. There was still the chance that he may end up as one later on, especially if he had to keep making decisions like this one.
"What this division is making you do is tragic, but I know you'll make the right choice," Grapevine said. "It's the burden you have to carry as a hero of Equestria."
"I don't want to be a hero of Equestria!" Apple Slice snarled "I just want to be Apple Slice, the earth pony who did his part, and got himself a little happiness along the way!"
The two didn't speak again until they eventually made it to a large camp, where legionnaires of different kinds were busy packing and loading things into wagons. Applejack guessed that whatever the reason Apple Slice's group was here for was done. Apple Slice suddenly looked up, allowing her to notice a pegasus flying towards them.
"Captain Apple Slice!" the pegasus called out. He opened one of his saddlebags, and pulled out an envelope before mumbling out the rest of his message. "Letter for you!"
"Give it to me quickly!" Apple Slice said. The sudden urgency in his tone took the messenger aback a bit but he complied soon enough.
"How odd, you already received a letter from your family just last week," Grapevine said. "Why would they need to follow with another one especially since you're so close to your leave?"
Though she couldn't hear Apple Slice's thoughts, Applejack only needed to read along to tell what he was going through. She found the letter strange, however. It was written too…impersonally. It was almost as if she were just reading the sort of report legionnaires wrote their superiors. It was signed "Apple Peel"; the same Apple Peel that Apple Slice was just talking fondly about.
"It's about my father," Apple Slice said grimly. "He's gravely ill and needs me to come home right away."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Grapevine said softly. "I hope he pulls through."
"He doesn't think so," Apple Slice replied as he put the letter away. "Neither does Peel. That's why they wants me there as soon as possible. Likely so he can see me one last time, and make sure I'm there when his will is read." Apple Slice snorted again. "At least, father would want to."
"I see," Grapevine said. He put a hoof over Apple Slice's shoulder. "Not quite the homecoming you expected?"
Apple Slice nodded. He was about to say something, but the world seemed to grow dim to Applejack. She could only hear a few muffled sounds from what should have been Apple Slice's reply. "No!" she cried out. "I want to see more! Why did the rest of the Apples start calling him bad? What did he really do that day they had to part? Wait!" Applejack's shouting dampened with uncertainty. "Did you really just end up a 'hero of Equestria'?"
Applejack opened her eyes to find that she was back in the camp that she helped set up for the night. They had come across this clearing, and settled in early so Rainbow and Scarlet could rest. The ground was still damp and covered with fallen leaves. All around them, moss-covered trees formed a rather intimidating enclosure. Past the canopy, a full moon was shining down on them while a cold breeze blew from the north.
She rubbed her eyes. What had she been dreaming? Out of impulse, she looked down on her neck where Apple Slice's chain still hung. The links were glowing. She had looked down just in time to see the light within them slowly fade. She shook her head, and looked again only to find that the links looked normal. Perhaps she was just imagining things. That dream could just have been some dream, but she doubted it. Dreams didn't feel that vivid. She put it aside and looked around.
The fire crackled and flickered, casting shadows on every sleeping pony around it. A chorus of snores brought her attention past the fire. Rainbow Dash and Scarlet Rabbit were asleep directly opposite of her. Applejack smiled, remembering that the mission was a success. Her friend had taken to protectively staying near Scarlet Rabbit, as if Vanguard Clash would sneak behind her back, and murder the pegasus stallion at the first available opportunity.
Applejack looked on for a little while longer. There was something changed about Rainbow. There was a strength in her that the earth pony admired when she stood against Vanguard. Perhaps…perhaps there was something good to be gained from this entire ordeal. She looked at Scarlet Rabbit. As confusing as it may be, perhaps his badness for Rainbow ended up doing something good.
To Rainbow's right was Twilight Sparkle. The sight of the still sleeping unicorn took away the smile on Applejack's face. Twilight's words from the previous night still stung, and what she was saying earlier only worsened things. It seemed only a few days ago that Applejack was willingly joining Twilight in banishment. Now, it felt as if she was sharing a camp with a hostile stranger. With the vision still fresh in her mind, Applejack finally had a word for it; "heroine of Equestria". Twilight was turning into the very pony that Apple Slice tried not to be; a "hero" who didn't care about the ponies in front of her, but fought for a map and a flag. She couldn't let that happen to Twilight, but what else could she do? She tried talking, only to be rebuffed harshly. What else could she say that might put things right between the two of them again?
Applejack looked away. Even just seeing Twilight left her feeling uncomfortable these days. Her gaze lingered on a figure a good distance past Rainbow Dash and Scarlet Rabbit. Once again, Vanguard had taken the first watch. He was sitting on a log with his back turned on the camp. Instead of receding, the feeling of discomfort within Applejack only increased. She had this sinking feeling that she did know what she had to tell Twilight, and that she was just desperately trying to pretend that she didn't. Looking at Vanguard only served to confirm that. She walked towards the stallion.
"It's too early to be your watch," Vanguard said without turning his head. His deep, growling tone almost broke at the way he tried to soften it.
Applejack settled right next to him. "I know," she replied. "But I woke up, and I don't think I can get back to sleep again."
Vanguard glanced over to the snoring pegasi behind them. "Understandable," he said. "Those two together can impersonate an earthquake."
Applejack noticed a strange tremble in his voice. It wasn't just that as well. As she looked more closely, it seemed as if his eyes were even brighter and redder than usual. "You alright, Vanguard?" she asked.
Vanguard turned his gaze skyward. "Full moon tonight," he said. "I don't like full moons." He looked at Applejack so quickly that she turned away, afraid that he might catch her staring. "That aside, I want to thank you, Applejack. You're right. I don't know how I'd be faring by now if I did execute Scarlet right then and there."
"Shucks!" Applejack said. "Just looking out for my captain."
"You have no idea," Vanguard said softly. "It seems I made the right choice with you." To Applejack's surprise, Vanguard suddenly extended a foreleg as if hold her by the shoulders, and pull her closer. He noticed what he was doing, however, and pulled it back hurriedly. "Sorry," he muttered. "Full moon."
Applejack felt an ache inside, as if there was a sigh in there that she didn't dare let out. She quelled an urge to snuggle against him anyway. "What do you mean by that?" she asked. She dearly hoped that she could mask the disappointment in her tone. "Does the full moon make you do things? I mean, I heard about the wolven acting especially crazy when it's out back in Bastion City but…" She shut her mouth, afraid that he'd be offended.
"I don't feel anything near like wolven moonrage," Vanguard replied. "It does become more difficult to control my impulses, though. I can't afford to get angry or feel any strong emotion for that matter."
Applejack didn't say anything right away. She felt her heart beating faster at the mention of "strong emotions". She was suddenly aware of a lot of details she hadn't been paying attention to when she sat next to the stallion, like the warmth he exuded despite all the metal he wore, and the scent emanating from him: a coalescence of sweat, damp leather straps, and the odor of a pony, but not quite, that left her tingly. There was an intensity about him tonight that made it feel as if he might jump on her at the first provocation. What she found scary was that part of her actually felt...intrigued, even excited, by the prospect.
"How are things with you and Twilight?" Vanguard asked.
The sudden question struck Applejack like a surge of lightning, jolting her out of the strange, fuzzy sensation she was letting herself sink into. Twilight…at the mention of the name, the pleasant warm feelings were gone. Applejack shivered from the nightly cold. "I…I honestly dunno," she said. "After hearing what she said today, I have no idea."
"You know, she didn't say those things to be cruel or hateful," Vanguard said. "I can understand where she's coming from."
"I can understand too," Applejack said in frustration. "But…I didn't think I'd hear it from Twilight. It's just not like her."
"The two of you have gone through some difficult things in this mission," Vanguard said. "And the two of you have different ways to cope.
"Well…yeah, that's true," Applejack said. "But aren't you worried about the things she said earlier?"
"Not as much as you do, I take it," Vanguard replied.
Applejack frowned. "You sound like you're not bothered at all," she said.
"I worry a great deal about Twilight Sparkle's safety," Vanguard said. "She likes to push herself too hard and her state of mind is also concerning. Still, the things she said earlier aren't as ominous as they may sound to be."
There was something in Vanguard's tone that Applejack couldn't help but feel a strange worry about. "Sounds like you really admire Twilight," she said.
"There are a lot of things I admire about her," Vanguard replied. "The courage to do what she believes is right, the strength to endure whatever is thrown at her. It all makes me wish I had met her sooner." His lips parted slightly in a smile. "This mission won't break her. She may have used Pyre's words, but she didn't say them with Pyre's spirit."
"I dunno," Applejack said. "There's also-!" she stopped herself, realizing just what she was about to talk about.
"What do you mean?" Vanguard asked.
Applejack pressed her lips together tightly. "N-nothing," she mumbled. Her eyes darted everywhere when she noticed Vanguard's sudden intense stare.
"I won't pry," Vanguard said. "But you're going to have to tell somepony about it at some point," He stood up and headed over to where Twilight was still sleeping. "My watch's done."
"I will tell somepony about it…" Applejack said wistfully, mostly to herself. She finally let out that sigh building within her when she was sure Vanguard was out of earshot. The stallion started prodding Twilight awake. Applejack could only brace herself as the purple unicorn walked over, and sat nearby. For the first hour or so, the two of them sat there in silence. As far as Applejack could tell, Twilight was still in the same dour mood that she has been since the previous night. She wanted to talk to the unicorn about what had happened with Scarlet Rabbit earlier, as well as their conversation the other night. But how could she go about that without being angrily brushed off? Where should she start?
Another hour passed them before Twilight finally decided to break the silence. "So, what were you and Vanguard talking about?" she asked.
Applejack felt her blood freeze. It was exactly what Rarity had warned her about. "J-just small stuff…" she said so quietly that even she could barely hear herself. She could feel her insides protest. Things were happening exactly as they did before. She found herself tongue-tied whenever Twilight mentioned Vanguard, which broke whatever attempt she made to try to talk to the unicorn. She couldn't look at Twilight, but she could feel the unicorn's stare on her. She looked around until she spotted Vanguard's sleeping form. No. This awkwardness had to end here. Vanguard was right. She had to say something at some point, and she was as backed to a wall as it was going to get when it came to this matter. "At some point…" she whispered to herself.
"What was that?" Twilight asked.
"Twilight, I got something to tell you." Applejack felt some of the hesitation melt away. Now that she had actually decided to make the effort, the words seemed to come to her. 'I'll start with the truth,' she thought. 'Can't go wrong with starting with the truth.' She looked directly at Twilight, finally matching the unicorn's stare without flinching. "You asked me before if I liked Vanguard," she said.
"And you said no," Twilight replied. "You were pretty adamant about it too."
"I lied." Applejack would have said more, but the sudden relief she felt, as if she had been dragging around a massive weight that had just been taken away, left her speechless for a few seconds. "I do like him," she finally added. "A lot. And I did join up partly because I wanted to be with him."
"You…" To Applejack's surprise, a flicker of emotion marred Twilight's face, cracking that emotionless mask she had been wearing since the other night. The unicorn's lips quivered slightly, but she recovered swiftly and her eyebrows furrowed from the strain of effort. "So what?" she finally said. Her voice took on a harsh note.
Applejack could only stare in confusion.
"A usurper is raising and lowering the sun and Equestria is still at war," Twilight spoke through grit teeth. "But, on the bright side, Applejack is in love. I guess that's worth something. Maybe Black Rose will swoon at the story, and we can kill her while she's out."
Applejack felt her front hooves twitch. She was already picturing herself sprawling in the dirt with Twilight. She could picture herself taking a fireball or a lightning bolt should she get into a scrap with the very powerful unicorn. The thought was horrifying, and not even for the obvious reason of getting hurt. She swallowed her anger, though. Vanguard saw something in Twilight that let him stay calm. She was beginning to see that too. "I should be hitting you by now, but I ain't buying that this time," she said.
It was Twilight who couldn't say anything this time.
"You got something to say too. Let me hear Twilight Sparkle talk this time 'cause the 'heroine of Equestria' has been talking too much."
The silence went on, but Applejack didn't need to say anything else. That scornful stare that Twilight had taken to using was twisting away into just anger. "How dare you…" the unicorn finally said. "You think I just flip switches to change who I am?"
"No, which is why I ain't buying that 'heroine of Equestria' act of yours anymore." Applejack's hard tone softened. "I spilled my beans. It's your turn."
Again there was silence. Twilight turned away and stared out to the still shadowy woods. Applejack looked skyward. It was going to be sunrise soon. She had tried again, tried as hard as she could, but it seemed that she was going to end up with nothing once more. She had turned her back to sit closer to the fire when she heard something.
"What else can I be?" Twilight suddenly said. Applejack whirled towards the unicorn in surprise. Twilight barely spoke above a whisper.
"Twilight…" Applejack said just as quietly.
"We've been failing so much, Applejack. Twilight continued. "We couldn't beat Nightmare Moon without breaking the elements, we couldn't protect Princess Celestia from Black Rose…we keep struggling and struggling, only to end up with nothing. Pyre Valor…she was an awful unicorn, but she got what she wanted. 'Protect Equestria no matter the cost'. Those were her words. After all the things we've been doing, they're the only things that have been comforting. It's the only reason that makes killing other ponies hurt less."
"Twilight, Pyre Valor burned her friends, burned herself, and then left us to clean up the mess," Applejack said. She didn't know much about Pyre Valor, but she saw the burn marks on Vanguard's face, and heard enough of the unicorn's actions to put conviction in her words. "Equestria doesn't need more 'heroes' like her.'
"And how do you cope, Applejack?" Twilight asked. "I'm not the only pony with bloodstained hooves here. What do you say in the face of what we did in this mission?"
"I dunno the answer to that," Applejack said. "But I know it ain't by hiding behind 'Equestria' every time we do something awful.' She let out a sigh. 'We just gotta face the truth, Twi. Equestria didn't snap that pony's neck or burn those ponies."
Twilight's hardened look softened. "Face the truth huh?" she asked. "It's going to hurt, Applejack."
Applejack smiled in return. "'Course it will, sugar cube," she said. "But, you and me, we're strong. The right kind of strong."
"I guess we are," Twilight said. She fell silent for a minute. "I'm sorry for mocking you, Applejack."
Applejack just nodded, and sat by the fire. The warmth that suffused her body right now didn't just come from the flames however.
"And, Applejack?"
"Yeah, sugar cube?"
"I like Vanguard too. A lot."
The ache was back within Applejack, but she didn't cringe from it this time. She knew that already, of course. Rarity's solution was that she back off because Twilight was "too scary". Applejack could see the reason now. In fact, she had been seeing it for a long time, but she had hoped that it would go away. It wouldn't. Yet, now that Applejack faced and knew that Twilight faced it, the whole thing wasn't as scary as it seemed. "We're just gonna see what happens then," she said confidently.