Hey guys! Thanks so much for the support already, it's kind of insane. I'm more than happy to keep writing this. It's kind of a fun exercise since it allows me to explore this characters more deeply; something I haven't really done. Much thanks to the reviewers, Wizard xp, Pikachudragon, rtaylor23, Celebrisilweth, Riverwinde, and GoddessKalina. They're much appreciated. Thanks for all the favorites as well: BootsBoots and Lumiya1989 who weren't mentioned yet...and to the unmentioned followers: Amilasse, Marg1780, VeniVediVici, jaydenmercy, and snazzyviolet. You guys are all the best :)

Kili picked his way lethargically down the mountain, unsure how any times he almost tripped and fell, which probably would've ended in his death, and when he reached the bottom the company was waiting for him. They were sitting gathered together, heads bowed, the conversation stagnant. Kili stumbled in among them and they all glanced up from their mourning and memories to nod their heads in his direction. Dwalin even managed to stand up and bring his forehead to Kili's, touching it briefly. He wasn't crying, but remnants of tears were in his eyes and Kili tried to smile at him. He didn't know why. Smiling seemed like the thing to do, for some reason, but whether it was or wasn't, it came out as a grimace that Dwalin returned. Grimace for grimace. Kili sighed heavily and sunk down on the ground with the rest of them, who hadn't had the legs to stand.

"What're you all doing here?" he whispered.

"We just said good bye to Bilbo and Gandalf so we'd left the feast anyways," Balin answered. "Nobody had seen you come down from…there…and we didn't want you to be alone."

"Thank you."

Ori reached over and rested a hand on Kili's shoulder. He let it stay there for as long as he could possibly manage before shrugging out from underneath the contact and raising himself up from the rock. "I'm…are they still telling stories?"

Balin nodded. "Aye, most likely, laddie, but they're drunk, especially Dain, who took it upon himself to do a lot of the telling. Still, some of it is probably worth hearing."

"Any of…my brother?"

Balin shook his head. "Mentions here and there. Nobody knew him like you or Thorin did. And Dis isn't here. I'm sure you would be given time to…"

"No," Kili said, "I can't…I can barely even think his name. Or my uncle's. I think I'll just go to bed." He started to move away and then paused, feeling slightly guilty. They'd waited for him and he was already leaving. "Walk with me," he said. They followed him silently back into the mountain. Once they were inside, they let Kili go his own way and returned to the feasting and drinking, where sure enough Dain was telling yet another story of a younger Thorin.

Kili slipped through the dimly lit halls towards the room he'd been given, a generic and sparsely decorated one, but with a bedroom and bedsheets. Halfway there he thought he heard faint laughter. His brother's laughter. And sometimes when the light flickered across the walls it was as though his head had just whipped around a corner and his blonde hair was still just visible. His legs were itching to run after the illusion but the trouble was he knew it was one. He got to his bedroom and plopped down on the bed. He didn't light any candles or lay down. He gazed up at the ceiling of his room and fought the tears that were burning the corners of his eyes. The longer he stared at the ceiling the more apparent it became that he wasn't going to get any sleep tonight. Or for many days hence. So Kili lifted himself off the bed, lit a candle, and shut his door behind him as he left. He found the stairs that led down past the hoard of gold that no one had addressed, down past old mining hot spots, down past where Kili had ever been. When he reached the bottom of the cold, dank stairs he saw an array of tombs covered with the sculptures of the deceased. There'd been a large procession early in the day, Kili was sure, when they'd brought Thorin and Fi…Fili down here. He wound his way towards his brother and his uncle, keeping his hand against the smooth rock walls, enjoying the cool dampness on his fingertips. If they belonged anywhere, it was here. The place they'd fought tooth and nail to get to. They both would've felt at home here if they'd ever gotten the chance to make it one. And his brother would've begun his training to succeed Thorin on the throne and Thorin would've been the greatest King this world had seen in hundreds of years and he, Kili, would've been with Fili…

He rested his hands on top of Fili's tomb and let the tears flow quietly. He stood there all night. Halfway through he was joined by Gloin, Dwalin, and Balin who couldn't sleep either and they stayed with him until morning. Then they left to eat, something they could still do, apparently. Kili wasn't feeling particularly hungry. It wasn't long before it was mid-afternoon.

Kili heard footsteps behind him but didn't look around to see who it was. He didn't care. He didn't feel like talking to anybody except his brother. And his brother wasn't here.

A hand grasped his shoulder hard and he finally peered to his side to see a flash of a white beard. Balin.

"Laddie, I'm not going to pretend I know exactly how you feel but you can't stay down here forever. The way I see it, we all could've died out there…we probably all had our fair shot at it too, but we didn't die. Don't waste that gift and die down here. You've got a fire, Kili, one that might even rival Thorin's. He wouldn't want you to let it disappear," he sighed when Kili's face remained blank. "At least come back upstairs where there's more light and eat something. Please."

Kili stepped and nearly tumbled over onto the ground. He hadn't moved or sat down in hours and his legs acted as though they were paralyzed. Balin caught his arm and helped him up the first couple of stairs before Kili tugged out of his grasp and continued the rest of the way up himself. He glanced back once or twice to make sure Balin was keeping up and on one such occasion, he was almost positive he'd seen a smile from the older dwarf.

When Kili walked into the makeshift mess hall, that included scattered scraps from the last meal and a small collection of dwarves who were slower eaters or who'd been doing something else earlier, everyone looked up at him expectantly, like he was supposed to break into song or weave a great tale. He ignored the stares and sat at the emptiest table pulling over whatever he could reach and without looking at it, putting it in his mouth. Balin sat down across from him and said nothing, but Kili could see in his peripheral vision that Balin kept sneaking glances at everyone else in the room and biting the inside of his cheek in worry.

Finally Kili put down the food he was chewing on and said exasperatedly, "What, Balin?" after he'd noticed the dwarf was chewing his cheek much more harshly and staring off into space much more often.

"Gandalf had a word with me and Dain before he left."

"Okay. So?"

Balin groaned. "The enemy is back. Erebor is still a place of strategic value to him and, while we did more damage than he intended, we barely scraped through. Kili, there will be another battle for Erebor and it's coming a lot quicker than you'd think; in your lifetime. We've got years of rebuilding ahead, we need a solution to the issue of the gold, and we need to prepare for the possibility that a battle could someday come to our gates."

"Why are you telling me all of this?"

"I admit, it's less than ideal. You haven't been prepared for this, not really, and you're still very young, but Kili, you're heir to the throne of Erebor now. Dwarves need someone on that throne. We need direction and a leader to get behind. We need you to take up that role. You'll have people to help you, Dain and me and the rest of the company, and you wouldn't be expected…"

Kili was shaking his head furiously. Balin trailed off as he noticed this and reached across the table to take Kili's hand in his. "It's your duty, laddie."

"I can't, Balin. That's not me. That's Thorin. That's Fili. It was never something I was going to do; never something I could do. Dain. Dain can do it. I know Dain can do it. Have him be King Under the Mountain, not me. I don't mind. He can have it."

"Do you think he wants it either? It's not about what we want anymore. There's more than just dwarves depending on us now…the men of Laketown are as well. As much as I would like this to be something we could delay, it's not."

"I…"

"I know," Balin whispered. He paused before continuing. "Both Thranduil and Bard would like to meet you as soon as possible. When would you prefer that to happen?"

"Never," Kili grumbled. "Especially not with those pompous…" he trailed off at a glare from Balin.

"Hear me this once, please. They just want what is owed to them. Thorin's prejudices do not have to be yours. The hatred between dwarves and elves and the discontent we've created with Bard are things that you can mend if you so choose."

Kili eyed the table and the fork that he was using to push his food around his plate. Fili was never far from his thoughts, even when he'd been alive, and now, all he wanted was his brother sitting beside him laughing in Balin's face about how ridiculous this was. But what he really wanted was someone to talk to. Someone who wasn't going to bring up all this King Under the Mountain stuff and would listen to him complain about being…king.

That's when Kili started laughing and he couldn't stop. Balin didn't even pretend to laugh along with him. He just grimaced and a deep sadness entered his eyes, one that spoke to years of watching people he cared about fall apart. It wasn't long before Kili's maniacal laughter turned into heaving sobs that made his shoulders shake. Balin stood and crossed to Kili's side of the table and pulled him against his chest and held him tightly. There was nothing else he could do.

Kili had never felt so alone in his life.

—

Tauriel had started tracking Legolas the moment Kili had left her on Ravenhill. He hadn't been hard to find as he'd camped for the night before trying to find passage across the lake to Laketown in the morning. She entered his camp, a clearing that had sparse vegetation and not much protection, hands up. He'd started as she'd anticipated and pulled out a dagger from his boot, running at her. When he saw the position of surrender and her red hair he lowered his dagger, "Tauriel?"

"Legolas."

"Come join me."

Tauriel went and sat beside the fire he had built, her legs crossed underneath her. Legolas did the same beside her and they stared into the fire for a while not moving or saying a word. Tauriel could sense that Legolas wanted to flood her with questions and she was very grateful that he didn't because it was likely she wouldn't know the answers.

After some time, when Tauriel had gathered herself and thought she could have the conversation that needed to be had with someone that had become her friend she murmured, "Where are you going?"

"Not home. I can't live there anymore."

Tauriel nodded. She was silently pleased that she'd had such an effect on him. Legolas continued as the lull grew louder with words unsaid, "I'm going to find the Dunedain. One named Strider, to be specific. My father seems to think he's important."

"Are you going to miss your father?" Tauriel asked.

Legolas didn't answer and she wasn't going to bring it up again. It wasn't really any of her business, perhaps.

"Where are you going?" he asked her.

"I do not know."

"Come with me."

"Legolas…"

"I could use the company on the road. Besides, do you really have anywhere else to go?"

She shook her head. "I am banished and behind me are dwarves, whom elves do not get along with. But, Legolas, I cannot go that far west without promise of being able to do something. And…"

"You do not wish to go that far west either," he interrupted her. "You wish to stay within distance of him, don't you? You might never be able to be with him but you want to be there if the opportunity arises."

"No," Tauriel said. "That's not it. I trust Kili would have a fulfilling life with or without me. However, going to the Dunedain does not serve any purpose for me. I do not wish to meet this Strider. I don't know what I want, Legolas, but it isn't that."

"Very well," he whispered. "I just wish you to not be lost."

"I would still be lost if I went with you."

"I'm beginning to understand that," he sighed. "Bettering the world has always been important to you. Find something that accomplishes that."

"But where do I fit in the world? I am no longer what I once was and I can't ever be it again. I've always known my place."

"Have you?" Legolas laughed, "I can recall many times where you overstepped your boundaries with me and my father in an attempt to make us understand the repercussions of our actions. You, Tauriel, have always been and will always be you. And wherever in the world you end up, you will still be you. I do not know about your place in the world but perhaps you don't need one. Forge your own. It's something you're capable of."

Tauriel pondered his words, deep in thought. Legolas watched her for a few moments and then turned back to the fire. "But what place do I forge?"

"That I cannot tell you. That is something you'll have to discover for yourself. And you can. I know that."

She gazed at him helplessly. Perhaps, for the first time, Legolas could see her better than she could see herself. She settled down with her back on the ground and her eyes facing the stars and a small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as the light reached her. She gathered strength from it. The strength to look inside of herself, leap over the fear that was holding her hostage, and truly ask herself what she wanted and if she could achieve it.

"I'm going to stay," she whispered, "I'm going to help the men and dwarves rebuild this land to it's former glory and I'm going to mend the relations between dwarves and elves."

"How are you going to do that?" surprised at the answer she'd come to. Dwarves and elves were hopeless. He couldn't imagine a day where he would ever befriend an elf. "It is not something that can be mended."

"Not in your mind," she said firmly.

"You do just want to stay with him."
"Do not ever accuse me of that, Legolas," she growled. "Love is not enough to sustain me and it has never been. I would not have stayed had there been nothing for me to do here." Her face was alight with passion and Legolas thought she'd never looked so beautiful than now, with the firelight elongating the angles of her face.

"I may never see you again," he said.

"That is the nature of this world." Then to soften the blow of her words she extended her hand to his shoulder and pulsed it gently between her fingertips. "You will be fine, Legolas. You're an excellent fighter, with rank, and you've got purpose. I have never heard of Strider but something tells me that it will be the start of a great journey or else your father would not send you to him."

Legolas scooted closer to her, reached down his hand to pull her back into an upright position, and then wrapped his arms around her shoulders. She returned the hug and Legolas whispered, "I am going to miss you."

"As will I."

Then they settled in separate places around the fire and took some rest. In the morning, when Legolas retreated from his dreams, Tauriel was gone. She was walking back towards Erebor. She had a newfound purpose and was sure of the decision she had made but part of her was afraid. Afraid her help would be turned away because of who she was and that she'd be left in the same position she'd been in.

It was cold out and the rocks and clouds were dreary and grey. Ash was still floating in the air and landing in her hair, blotting out the color of her hair one strand at a time. Even though she had direction and she knew that she might be able to see Kili again soon, she'd never felt so alone, her body the only silhouette against the bleak landscape.