Characters are not mine.

I'm not really happy about this chapter, so I'm probably going to edit it once I have the time to do so ;) Maybe you could tell me if I need to work on it a little bit more?

Jane remained sitting on the floor while Maura placed the blade somewhere out of the detective's reach (she chose the left shoe of a pair she hadn't worn in ages). Jane immediately missed the warmth emitting from the blonde. Had she grown that dependant on the doctor? Not only needing her to be strong when she herself couldn't, to be understanding and to think for both of them, but also to keep her alive physically, starting with giving warmth the brunette's body didn't seem to produce on it's own.

When she came back, Maura waited before walking up to the brunette who seemed to be lost in thoughts. She observed her carefully.
Jane was staring off into distance. Her arms were hugging her own slim body, fingers gripping the fabric of the grey shirt she was wearing.

How had she never seen this? Jane looked so small and weak. Had Jane been really good at playing well all that time? Or had she just not wanted to see what was obvious? Maura had always believed in making the best out of the present, but now she wished she could turn back time. Not only to prevent Jane from going down the path of depression – and she had done so for sure – but mostly to keep her from creating the scars she knew would never fade completely.

Maura herself didn't care, she loved Jane anyway and the detective would always be attractive in her eyes, but she knew the brunette had always been insecure about her body, and even though they hadn't talked about it until now, she expected it to be hard to accept them.

Slowly she approached the sitting woman, kneeling down in front of her. Gently she placed her hands on Jane's knees, massaging them lightly.
"Don't look at me like that" Jane said shyly. "Like what" Maura answered while stilling her hands.
"With so much love. I don't deserve this, and you deserve so much better than me."

While she had looked away when saying these words before, she looked right into Maura's eyes this time. Suddenly the air around them seemed to have changed, turning cold and wiping the smile of her face and freezing it in an expression of deep thought. After an eternity of silence, Jane turned her head away, escaping Maura's piercing stare.

Pulled out of her trance, Maura rocked closer to Jane, placing her legs underneath the brunette's.
Slowly she reached up her hands and turned the detective's head back to look at her. She drew her fingers along the cheekbones, her nose and finally her lips. The lips were where she stopped. Her thump of her right hand remained on the bottom lip, while her left hand tangled in curly hair.

"Maybe I do" Maura spoke quietly. "Maybe I deserve better than this. But I WANT you. You are not holding me back. I CHOSE to be with you. I chose to walk this path with you." She leaned in further. "I want this." Their foreheads were touching. "I want you" she whispered while closing the distance and removing her thump milliseconds her lips touched Jane's.

They only stayed locked for a few moments, before Maura pulled away just to close in again. For a few more minutes, nothing was as important as the feeling of soft kisses, never lasting longer than three seconds. Yes, Maura counted in a specific way, kissing for two to three seconds and taking one second brakes in between.
She thought this would somehow show that even though she wasn't always there with Jane, she would always come back to make up for lost time.

Once she decided she had done everything she could in that moment, she pressed one slightly harder kiss onto Jane's lips. "Let's go back to help your mother" she said, trying to untangle her body from the detective's. "Wait" Jane demanded. She grabbed Maura's hair and pulled her head against her own forcefully.
She kissed her with everything she felt, or at least everything she could bring herself to feel.

"Thank you" she said when she pulled back. "For everything." Maura lowered her gaze, blushing heavily. Jane knew she wanted to say she didn't need to thank her for anything, but she seemed to understand that saying thank you was important to her, so the blonde just accepted it, even though she felt a little bit uncomfortable.

Together they managed to get up from the floor, walking out of the bedroom hand in hand. When they entered the kitchen again, Maura let go of Jane's hand instinctively, but the brunette reached out for it again immediately. Angela left the food to itself and rushed towards her daughter. "What the hell is going on, Janie?" She placed the back of her hand against Jane's forehead, checking her temperature.

"I've noticed you don't want to talk about it, but I am worried Jane. I am your mother, can you blame me?"
Jane just shook her head, holding onto the doctor's hand even tighter.
"Be honest with me" she began, breathing in deeply before going on. "are you ill?" Desperation showed in her eyes, and Jane couldn't ignore that.

"Don't worry Ma, I'm fine." She couldn't even convince herself of the words she had just spoken. She was far from fine.

"Jane, I can't go on like this. You haven't smiled in months, you always seem just two steps away from crying, this isn't you Jane. Do you think I'm blind? The way you two cling to each other... You left basically over night after both of you had cried all day. I just want to know what's wrong."

The younger Rizzoli sighed while Maura tensed up. This wasn't right, Jane shouldn't be pressured like this. She could understand Angela, but she also knew how easily Jane was pushed over the edge of losing control.

"Ma, us being so close" Jane swallowed "this has nothing to do with me being ill." Seeing the panic raising further in her mothers eyes, she added "And I'm not ill" quickly.
She had actually planned on telling her mother about the change in their relationship, but Angela wouldn't have it that way.
"Oh God, no" she said while turning her attention to Maura. "It's you, isn't it?" The blonde just shook her head, not knowing how to react. "That's why Janie is so sad all the time. You are the one being ill, and she can't help, right?"

Neither of them knew what to say to comfort Angela without informing her about their situation. "Ma" Jane said energetically "She isn't ill, and I'm not ill. We are both just fine, okay?" Angela looked confused as hell.
"I don't get this. If both of you are well, why are you acting this way? I really hope you aren't just scared to tell me you two got something going, you know I don't mind."

"What?" They both called out the same time. "You know?" Jane asked half disbelieving, half angry. "Of course I do, I am your mother Jane, and I know the two of you. I just don't get why you aren't happy."

Now the angry side was taking over. "Why we aren't happy? WHY WE AREN'T HAPPY? You give me shit for letting Casey go without even knowing why and you ask me why I don't walk in here with Maura at my side and tell you I love her? Do you have any idea of how I am feeling?"
Maura tried to calm her down, saying her name again and again until the brunette finally stopped yelling.

But instead of calming the situation down, it gave Angela the possibility to shout back.
"How you are feeling? What about how I am feeling? You are my only daughter and I've always wanted you to be happy, but do you have to make it so damn hard for all of us? You brought Charles home as a teenager, and you know I didn't like him, I never did. But I thought he made you happy so I never said anything. And after all those years you break off with him and expect me to not question why you did it? You never told me by the way. You never tell me anything, just like now!"

"How do even-" Jane didn't come any further, being interrupted by Maura screaming both their names. "Stay out of this" Jane tried, but again Maura didn't let her get her will. "You will shut up now, both of you" the blonde stated firmly.

Obviously shocked by Maura's outburst, both Rizzolis stayed silent.

"First of all, you are not a teenager anymore, Jane! Stop acting like one. You are an adult, you don't have to yell at your mother to get her to listen to you. You should know she is just worried, so don't blame her for everything that is bothering you and listen to her. And Angela, you have to accept that Jane does not need to tell you anything if she doesn't want, she is not obliged to do so, so stop making her feel guilty for keeping things to herself. You two should talk. And you better find a solution to all of this, because I am not willing to watch as you two hurt each other. I'll take care of our dinner, you go out and talk about this."

At first Jane and Angela stood frozen on their spots, still surprised at the force of Maura's words and voice. When the doctor didn't turn around to look at either of them, they left the kitchen, unsure of what to do now. They sat down on Maura's couch, silence surrounding at first.

Finally, Angela brought up the courage to speak. "I'm sorry for yelling at you" she said. Jane nodded. "Me too." The awkward silence didn't pass.

"I'm-" Angela began. "I'm really worried. Neither of you talk about what's going on and I'm scared Janie. I'm scared." Tears were escaping and Jane immediately felt her stomach drop. "No Ma, don't cry. Please don't cry." How was she supposed to fix this? She remembered the statements of those girls online, saying that their families felt like they were destroying everything. For the first time she saw how much she had already destroyed by not talking, could it even be worse?

"Listen Ma, this is hard for me, okay? Please understand that I'm having a hard time talking about it." Angela nodded, hopeful she would finally not be left out.
"I've not been well for some time now." "I've noticed." Jane sighed. "Can I just say this without being interrupted?" The older Rizzoli nodded and folded her hands.

"I've not been diagnosed yet, but I am depressed and Maura said it could not just be a phase but real depression. I have trouble getting through the day and the nights are even worse. It's hard for me, because I've always been the strong one. I didn't even tell Maura until about two weeks ago." She stopped, giving her mother the time to talk or just think.

"Can't you just choose to be happy? I mean you have Maura, don't you? Isn't that a reason to try at least?"
Jane chose to ignore the anger rising up within her. Maura had been right, Angela was just worried.
"Having her helps a lot, but I'm not even sure what we are right now. We don't want to start a real relationship until I'm feeling better again. Mostly to protect her, but also because I don't want to depend on her."

For the second time in her adult life she cried in front of her mother. For the first time she let Angela hold her. "Why have you never said anything?" Angela asked, stroking Jane's back gently. The brunette just shrugged, not really knowing the answer. Was it fear? Pride?
Jane thanked God or whoever was responsible for her mother saying nothing after that. She recovered quickly, leaving the older Rizzoli's arms.

"I'm always there for you. I love you, you know that, don't you?" Jane nodded, whispering 'thank you'. Together they walked back into the kitchen, where Maura was waiting for them. Jane went up to her, not sure about how to act after what had just happened. Maura took that awkwardness away, stroking the detective's cheek gently. "Are you okay?" "Yeah." For the first time in ages, Jane felt like everything was going to be good again, and she could only thank Maura for that. She had needed that extra push from the ME.

Angela watched as Maura took Jane into her arms, comforting her in a way that Casey never could. She had always wanted a man to be there for Jane, to protect her, but now she saw that Maura could do just the same. Still worried, but also happy about the relationship developing in front of her eyes, her tears of fear changed into tears of pride. Her daughter was finally settling down. She was sure the rest would come with time, expecting Jane to notice her own happiness soon.

AN: Please tell me what you think, I really liked reading all of your comments, critics and stories the last time.
Take care,
Alex