Years more had passed and I finally grew brave enough to ask Ian the question that had been bugging me for years. Although "brave" is a bit stretching it, "desperate" would be a more accurate term.
"Ian, why-?" I was cut off by a smack across the face with a long metal object.
"Ivan. My name is Ivan."
"I-Ivan…?"
"You aren't allowed to hold the name anymore. You aren't allowed to be "Russia" either."
"Why? Why any of this? Why am I down here? Why are you killing nations and 2p nations? Why?! It doesn't make sense! Are you just cruel and enjoy these things?"
"No, I have a goal in mind."
"And what would that be? Torture as many people as possible as cruelly as possible before you kill them?" I shouted. Desperation made people do strange things- stupid things. Ian glared at me.
"You mistake me for a psychopath. You mistake me for Oliver."
"Then why?"
"Let me tell you a story, my dear ignorant one. It's about a war some time ago that I witnessed between two countries. The two countries had been constantly squabbling, yelling at each other over every little thing. They were at war with each other for much of their history.
"But the way they fought- it was ridiculous. They didn't seem to take it seriously at all! But that's how the 1p nations are. They're silly. They have ridiculous, completely over-the-top obnoxious personalities and I can't stand it! As countries they should take their job far more seriously!
"Which leads me to this: the purpose of the 2p nations. Why are we here? Why do the 1ps need us? For the longest time I believed that there was really no purpose to our existence at all. That we were just there in case something happened to the 1p nation. But you can't kill a nation, can you? So why then?
"Another war I saw once lead me to discover our so-called purpose," again, he spit the word out with a hiss, "The war was devastating. A truly awful war. A year or two into the war, some of the countries couldn't take it. They couldn't handle the stress of it. So they gave the country over to their 2ps. This was a temporary action of course, but it was then when I realized why we are here.
"The 1p nations are not suited to run their county in times of true devastation. Their silly personalities can't process death and destruction like we can. We are better suited for these things. Which made me question even further- as I have always questioned it- the suitability of the 1p nations to be countries.
"I, of course, always knew that you weren't suited to be a country, as weak and pitiful as you are. But then I began to truly question all of the 1p nations. And so my little project began. To liberate all the countries of the world from their unfit 1p personifications.
"However that is quite the daunting task. The only reason I succeed with you is because you were dumb enough to believe I was your friend and you willingly gave most of the country over without a fight. But even after I imprisoned you, you retained some of your countryhood…
"More importantly, I will guarantee you that the other nations won't comply so easily. So I began researching something else. Something that would force their countryhood to fall to none other than the 2p nations- all of it. Which is why I've been killing off these micronations and 2p nations. I'm going to learn how to kill you, and then the 2p nations will rise as the rightful symbols of their countries."
I didn't say anything. I couldn't say anything. I had already pretty much figured that Ian was trying to kill me, but all of the nations? It was unthinkable. That was practically world domination.
"When I look at all of the 1p's silly faces, I think of how great it will be once I completely destroy them,"
"So much for not being a psychopath…" I muttered and was immediately silenced by another smack.
"Keep in mind that the only reason I tell you this is because I'd like you to keep helping me. If the other countries realize at any point what is going on, there could be major trouble. So I need to continue to impersonate you.
"I already tried to become a different country so that it wouldn't matter anymore, but the Soviet Union has gone and passed and you are still alive- meaning that plan has failed. Although China's loyalty has wavered. He could become a threat if he ever decided to mention our little meeting all those years ago. The fact that he even knows of my existence is dangerous. China will be the first to go once my research pays off. Then the former Tectonic Knights will be next…"