Ch 57: The pain within.
Felix stood in front of Ash wearing his black and dark blue aura guardian robes. He looked just as surprised to see his son as Ash was to see him.
"Ash? What are you doing here?" Felix said before his son Wrapped his arms around him and pulled himself to his father.
Before Felix could say anything else he could feel a great amount of stress, guilt, and shame in his son's aura.
"Ash what's going on, something bad happened to you" Felix said. Before Ash could say anything Belloc walked in.
"Felix there you are, sorry to tell you this but they got the key" Belloc said.
"They got the key! That can't be, Oh forget the key! Why is my son here with you and what happened to him!?" Felix said.
"Wait a minute Ash is your son, which would mean Red is also your son" Belloc said.
"Red's here too?" Felix said.
"Dad!" Red said as he came in with Korrina and the others came in.
"What's going on? Why are you all here with Belloc?" Felix said.
"We came for the gym and Chateau but there was now more room at the pokemon center or hotel. Belloc allowed us to stay with him" Red said.
"I know you came here to give me a hand with protecting the key, but they took it so you don't need to stay" Belloc said.
"Well that's good because I was lucky Delia let me come here at all, What am I saying! Ash what happened to Ash!?" Felix.
"Uh yeah about that?" Red started.
"Dad , I'd rather talk to you about that alone" Ash said.
" Alright, we'll be back" Felix said. Pikachu climbed over onto Ash's shoulder but Ash put him down.
"I'm sorry Pikachu but this has to be alone" Ash said.
"Pika" Pikachu said concerned .
Felix and Ash left the house as the others watched.
"I hope Felix can get through to him" Serena said.
"He will, he's a master" Belloc said. Ash and Felix had climbed onto the top tower of the battle Chateau.
"Alright Ash I can feel your guilt , you did something very bad an it's clearly killing you inside. I need to know what it is".
Ash took a deep breath.
"It happened about 2 weeks ago, team flare kidnapped Serena and Pikachu. I went after them and found one was about to do something very bad to Serena. After I saw that I was filled with so much rage that I, I".
It was then Felix realized what had happened.
"Now I see, you killed the grunt didn't you" Felix said. Ash's eyes started to tear up.
"Yes, and it's been haunting me ever since then. I've been having blackouts from the memory, one even happened during a fight with team flare. I can't keep going like this dad. It's tearing me apart" Ash said.
"Ash being an aura guardian means that at times it may require you to take a life in defense of others. It's something every guardian hates doing but it is necessary. Even I have had to end the lives of 5 men" Felix said.
"I don't know how you are able to carry on dad, it just keeps coming back no matter how hard I try to move on" Ash said.
Felix took his son by the shoulders.
"Ash I don't expect you to get over this just like that. When I was 19 I had to kill a man who was skinning Growliths for their fur and held a gun to one. He left me no choice , but even after I killed him the memory and guilt haunted me for 5 months" Felix said.
"5 months" Ash said.
"I never thought I would recover until my old master came to me" Felix said.
"Your old master" Ash said.
"Yes your grandfather Arthur Ketchum. Ash I know exactly how you're feeling. You feel like a monster, that ending a man's life is something that you should not be able to do. That you don't deserve to have peace of mind anymore" Felix said.
Ash looked up at Felix. His father just described exactly how the pain made him that his father could relate with him made Ash feel a little better.
"Knowing that my father could relate with me helped a little. But he also told me what I'm going to tell you. Ash you aren't a monster, you're an amazing, caring, moral, and valiant young man. You need to face yourself" Felix said.
"I'll try" Ash said.
"There is a way that I can speed up the process. Something my father taught me. When aura guardians have demons inside them they can manifest themselves as dark aura that can haunt you and sometimes even cripple you. It's why you've been feeling so at war with yourself and probably what's been causing your blackouts".
Suddenly it all made sense, the blackouts, and why he was feeling so at war with himself.
"However, because you can read and control your aura you can face this problem head on" Felix said.
"Head on?" Ash said.
"Do you trust me?" Felix said.
"Of course I trust you dad".
"Alright then I'm going to do for you what your grandfather did for me. Give me your hands" Felix said as Ash put his hands in his father's.
"Take a deep breath and open your aura" Felix said. Ash took a deep breath and began opening his aura as his eyes began glowing blue. Felix's eyes began glowing blue before Ash's vision started to change.
It faded and began to change for almost a minute. When his vision returned Ash was in some kind of hallway. Ash slowly got up and looked around.
"Where am I?" Ash said. Ash tried to feel the aura around him but for some reason he could only feel his own aura. Ash then realized that he was wearing his guardian robes, his pokeballs were gone, but he still had his hidden blades.
"When did I put this on?" Ash said.
"Ash". Ash heard a dark but familiar voice call out his name.
"Hello!" Ash said as he slowly walked down the hallway. When he reached the end of the hallway he saw what looked like a void of colors and floating objects around him.
"Ok where the hell am I?" Ash said.
"Over here" The voice said as Ash turned and saw a dark figure standing on a white piece of floor tile in the void directly across from him. The figure looked at Ash before turning away from him.
The dark figure was wearing a pure black aura guardian robe and had a familiar aura too him. Whether it was instinct just faith, Ash stepped out into the void and just as his foot came down a piece of floor tile floating nearby shot into position under his foot. As Ash stepped off it another piece of floor moved over to his next foot.
As soon as Ash stepped off a piece of floor tile it floated away. Ash continued walking towards the dark figure. When he got close enough the dark figure turned to him. As Ash got closer to the figure he started to feel the familiar aura get stronger.
The figure's face was masked in darkness under the hood. Not just hard to make out, but pitch black under the hood making it impossible to see. The only thing Ash could see under the hood was a pair of glowing red eyes.
The figure turned and performed a leap of faith off the edge of the path. Ash rushed over and looked down into the void but saw nothing. Ash didn't know where he was or what was going on , but whatever that figure was it meant something.
Ash dove off the edge and performed a leap of faith. After several moments Ash landed safely in a bush. When Ash got up he looked around and saw he had somehow appeared in a Kanto forest near Pallet town.
"I know this place, it's where I first met Serena" Ash said.
"Mama!" Ash heard. He got out of the bush and saw young Serena on the ground with her hurt leg.
"It's Serena". Moments later Ash saw his young self come out of another bush and walk over to her.
"It's when we first met" Ash said. Moments later the dark figure leapt out of the tree and impaled his wrist blade into younger Ash.
"Yahh!" Serena screamed in fear.
"What the!" Ash said before sprinting over. The figure grabbed young Serena and turned to Ash.
The figure ran off with Serena in his arms as Ash chased after him.
"Put her down!" Ash shouted. The figure leapt into a bush as Ash leapt after him. After Ash leapt through the bush he was no longer in the forest. He was now inside professor Sycamore's lab. He saw himself and the rest of he group in front of Sycamore as they started their journey.
"It's when Pikachu became my first pokemon!" Ash said.
"Pika!" Pikachu said with excitement as he jumped into Ash's arms.
"I'll take that as a yes. Alright Ash if you want Pikachu you can have him" Sycammore said.
Moments later the same dark figure leapt down front he ceiling and impaled his wrist blade into the back of Ash's neck.
"Yahh!" Delia screamed as the dark figure picked up Pikachu and ran off.
"Pikachu!" Ash shouted as he chased after him.
The figure leapt out the window and performed a leap of faith towards the ground. Ash leapt out the window and after the dark figure. When he landed he was on a balcony overlooking another balcony.
It was then Ash realized he was at the hotel where he and Serena officially started dating. He looked down and saw himself kissing Serena.
Before he could do anything else the dark figure climbed up the side of the balcony and grabbed him before stabbing him with his wrist blade and pulling him over the edge.
"Ash!" Serena shouted.
As the figure leapt down from the ledge Ash leapt after him. When Ash landed he landed in water. After he came up he was in a foggy swamp, but not just any swamp. The one his final test was in.
He quickly looked around and saw himself and Red with their hands on the book in front of Felix.
"Dam it I know what happens next!" Ash shouted as he sprinted over to them. The dark figure leapt out of the swamp and raised his hand before blasting Ash back with a burst of red aura.
Before Ash could get up the figure stabbed the other Ash in the back with his hidden blade then ran off.
When Ash got up he ran after him and followed him into the swamp. When Ash came out of the water he was in an all to familiar cave.
"Oh no" Ash said. He looked around and saw himself holding the team Flare grunt.
"No no! Stop don't kill him!" Ash shouted as he sprinted over.
Just before he could the figure leapt down and stabbed both his wrist blades into Ash and the grunt.
Ash stopped as the figure looked up at him with his glowing red eyes. Instead of running , the figure stood up and faced Ash.
"Well you finally caught me" The figure said in a dark but all to familiar voice.
" What are you?" Ash said.
"I am what you fear most Ash Ketchum. I am darkness, guilt, evil, I am a killer" The figure started before whipping his hood down. Ash almost stumbled backwards when he saw who it was.
"I am you!" The figure said as Ash saw his own face with glowing red eyes. The dark Ash lunged at Ash with his hidden blades.
Ash quickly brought his own hidden blades up and blocked the strike. The dark Ash lunged forward and tried to bash his foot into Ash's calf, but Ash lurched back just in time. The dark Ash thrusted his hand forward and hurled Ash back with a burst of dark aura.
The dark Ash dove forward and tried to stab Ash with his hidden blades. Ash brought his leg up and kicked the dark Ash back before blasting him with an aura sphere, hurling him back a few feet.
Ash got up but the the dark Ash was gone. He used his aura vision and found the dark Ash behind him. He quickly turned around just in time to block his hidden blades with his own.
The dark Ash slowly pushed Ash back further and further moving his wrist blades closer to Ash's face.
Ash finally got some leverage and forced the dark Ash's wrist blades up and away from him before bashing his elbow across the dark Ash's face. Just as the dark Ash lurched back he smashed his foot into Ash's calf making him loose his stance before getting blasted with a burst of dark aura.
As Ash tried to get up the dark Ash sprinted over to him and lunged at his throat with his hidden blades. Ash brought his own hidden blades up to block them but the dark Ash had more leverage.
He slowly moved his own wrist blades closer to Ash as Ash desperately tried to hold them back.
"That's right, you can never escape me. Why? Because you are me. You're a murderer, a life taker, an evil person. That's all you'll ever be" the dark Ash said as he lowered his blades an inch from Ash's throat.
Ash looked right into the dark Ash's eyes with a look of determination.
"I might have killed a man, but I am not a murderer!" Ash said before his own eyes glowed blue and he started pushing the hidden blades back.
"He left me no choice!" Ash said as he got back onto his feet and knocked the dark Ash's hands away from his chest. He then smashed his foot into the dark Ash knocking him back and into the cave wall.
Moments later the cave transformed into the forest where Ash use to train with Felix as a child. The dark Ash got up and tried to blast Ash with dark aura, but Ash used his own aura to block it before smashing his hidden blades against the dark Ash's hidden blades, slowly knocking him back.
After knocking the dark Ash to the ground the forest transformed into the beach where Ash reconnected with Charizard.
The dark Ash got up and lunged at Ash with his hidden blades. Ash blocked the hidden blades with his own and lifted them up before kneeing the dark Ash in the face.
As the dark Ash stumbled backwards, the beach transformed into the top of Prism tower the night with Garchomp. The dark Ash got up and raised his hands at Ash.
"Face the guilt of what you did murderer!" the dark Ash shouted. Suddenly Ash was seeing the flashback of him killing the flare grunt. Ash took a deep breath before opening his eyes and looking back at the dark Ash with his eyes still glowing blue.
"That has passed, I'm not a murderer and I'm not evil. I will expel you from my aura like the poison you are!" Ash shouted before he lunged forward and stabbed his hidden blades into the dark Ash's throat.
The dark Ash convulsed once before stumbling backwards holding his throat. He gave an enraged look at Ash before the real Ash took a deep breath and blasted the dark Ash with a burst of aura and knocked him off the side of the tower.
Ash exhaled and walked over tot he edge of the tower. He saw nothing but the street below and took another deep breath before diving down performing a leap of faith.
Ash slowly opened his eyes and saw Felix in front of him. Ash exhaled as a small cloud of dark violet aura came out of his mouth and dissipated into nothing.
"Ash how do you feel" Felix said. For the first time in what felt like forever , he was whole. Ash still knew what he did, but he had finally come to terms with it and accept what . He was finally able to move on and live.
"Dad I feel whole again, it feels so good. I still know what I did but I'm finally able to move on. It's like i'm free!" Ash said.
"I'm glad you're better my son. I know how hard it was my first time and how good it felt it's been to be free. I'm just glad I was able to pass that onto you" Felix said before Ash hugged him.
"Hey dad, I know mom will probably want you back soon. But could you stay to see my gym battle tomorrow. It's my last one" Ash said.
"I'd love to" Felix said.
The two got up and saw a large pile of snow had formed at the base of the tower.
"Well we should get back to the others" Ash said.
"Right" Felix said before performing a leap of faith into the pile of snow below. Ash followed him moments later.
Back at the house Serena was waiting for Ash and Felix to come back. Serena was the only one who was still awake besides Pikachu. Felix had already come in through another door without Serena noticing.
"It's getting really late, did Felix drag him off 100 miles away to some guardian enclave where they'll spend 4 months trying to" Serena started before someone grabbed her from behind and twirled her around before sweeping her off her feet and kissing her.
Serena's face turned red as she saw Ash's face in front of hers. The first thing Serena noticed about Ash through their aura connection was that he seemed whole again. Whole and free.
"Serena I love you!" Ash said before kissing her again.
"Pika" Pikachu said feeling very relieved when he felt Ash's aura whole again. Pikachu climbed over onto Ash's shoulders. Ash turned to Pikachu and rubbed the side of his head.
"Pikachu I'm finally better, the blackouts are gone and I feel whole again".
"Pika!" Pikachu said.
"Ash I'm so glad you've gotten past this" Serena said.
"I have, and I'll never be like that again" Ash said before kissing her again.
The next morning Ash and the others got up and had breakfast before heading over to the gym.
Once inside they saw Wulfric standing over his students.
"That's it keep up the pressure" Wulfric said before noticing Ash and the others. Wulfric leapt onto the ice and slid down on his feet across the ice before landing right in front of Ash.
"Hello there Ash, come to face me?" Wulfric said.
"I'm ready to get my last gym battle" Ash said.
"Well then, let's get started" Wulfric said.
Ash stood on one end of the battlefield while Wulfric stood on the other end.
"It's been so long since I've seen Ash battle, this will be great" Felix said.
"Wulfric was a very difficult gym leader to beat. Ash will have his work cut out for him" Red said.
"Alright go Avalugg!" Wulfric said. A massive quadrupedial pokemon made of ice came out with a flat top and violet streaks across it.
"What is that?" Ash said opening his pokedex.
"Avalugg the Iceberg Pokemon:Its ice-covered body is as hard as steel. Its cumbersome frame crushes anything that stands in its way.".
"I choose you Tyrantrum!" Ash shouted as he let out his massive dinosaur pokemon.
"Tyrantrum is weak against ice and Avalugg is weak against rocks. This should be interesting" Korrina said.
" Avalugg use Icebeam on the ground" Avalugg opened his mouth and blasted the ground around the battlefield.
"Tyrantrum Head Smash!" Tyrantrum smashed his feet into the ground as hard as he could with each stomp of his feet. As a result the ice under him shattered without him slipping on it.
"Nice try Wulfric" Ash said.
"Avalugg slide to the ice and use Icebeam!". Avalugg slid across the non broken ice avoiding Tyrantrum before blasting him across the side of his body with a beam of ice.
"Grou!" Tyrantrum cried out in pain as he was hurled into his side.
"Tyrantrum!".
"Pika!". From his aura connection to Tyrantrum Ash could tell how much pain the massive dinosaur was.
"Dam a direct hit , that had to do a lot of damage" Clemont said.
"Come on Tyrantrum get back up!" Felix shouted.
Tyrantrum growled as he got back on his feet and roared at Avalugg.
"Tyrantrum use Earthquake!".
"Avalugg use Icebeam around you and Iron defense" Wulfric shouted. Avalugg blasted the ground around him with ice before tightening his defenses. The lair of ice around Avalugg held him in place while his defenses were tightened.
Tyrantrum smashed his feet into the ground and caused a massive earthquake. Unfortunately, Avalugg's defenses and ice fortress kept him in place and unharmed.
"Wulfric's doing very well" Clemont said.
"Come on Ash you can beat him!" Serena shouted.
"Ancient power!" Ash shouted. Tyrantrum's eyes glowed violet as he lifted up 6 massive spiked boulders and hurled them at Avalugg's fortress. The boulders smashed through the fortress and sent Avalugg sliding across the ice.
"Rapid spin" Wulfric said. Avalugg used his momentum to continue spinning around the ice moving closer to Tyrantrum. Wulfric hoped that Avalugg's spinning and quick movements across the ice would make it hard for Tyrantrum to keep on him.
Luckily for Tyrantrum he had very keen binocular like vision and was able to keep Avalugg in his sights.
"Dragon tail!" Ash shouted. Just before Avalugg could reach and knock Tyrantrum back with Rapid spin , Tyrantrym turned his tail violet and smashed it into Avalugg hurling him back across the ice.
"Alright great job Tyrantrum!" Ash said.
"Great going Ash keep it up!" Serena shouted.
"Impressive Ash , but let's see how strong his stance is. Avalugg use Icy wind". Avalugg unleashed a heavy wind filled with snow. Tyrantrum felt great pain as the cold wind came across him.
Despite the harsh wind and effective type matchup, Tyrantrum kept his stance and held firm.
"Tyrantrum Head Smash!". Tyrantrum roared as he lowered his head and sprinted at Avalugg.
"Avalugg isn't afraid of him. Avalugg use Skull Bash" Avalugg roared as he lowered his head and charged at Tyrantrum.
Everyone watched closely as the two pokemon reached each other and smashed their heads into each other. Despite Avalugg's size and momentum, Tyrantrum was stronger and hurled Avalugg back several feet.
"Keep it up Tyrantrum!" Ash shouted. As Avalugg slid back across the ice he managed to regain his stance and get on his feet.
"Avalugg use Blizzard!" Avalugg smiled as he got up and unleashed a thick barrage of snow and ice that flew around and encased Tyrantrum.
"Grouu!" Tyrtantrum cried out in pain.
"Tyrantrum hold on!" Ash shouted.
"Pika!".
"Come on Tyrantrum" Serena said.
"Stay strong!" Felix said.
"That's it Avalugg now finnish him with Skull bash" Wulfric said as Avalugg charged at Tyrantrum.
Ash could see Tyrantrum struggling to stay on his feet because of all the ice.
"Tyrantrum use Dragon claw right in the chest!" Ash said.
"Right in the chest , but what if that causes him to relive what happened and he blacks out again?" Korrina said.
"It won't" Felix said. Tyrantrum waited until Avalugg was close then lunged forward with his right claws and stabbed them into Avalugg's center chest, halting him. Despite seeing this Ash did not relive the memory and felt no guilt or hint of blacking out. He felt 100 percent ok.
"Pika!" Pikachu said excited to see this.
"Now use Head smash!" Ash shouted.
"Grou!" Tyrantrum roared as he charged forward and smashed his head into Avalugg hurling him into the air before crashing into the ground and got knocked out cold.
"Avalugg is unable to battle, the winner is the challenger" Wulfric's ref said.
"Aright that's 8!" Ash shouted before Tyrantrum roared and ran back almost knocking Ash into the ground before sliding his massive tongue across his trainer's body.
"He did it!" Serena said.
"Well done!" Felix said. Wulfric walked over to Ash after returning Avalugg.
"Very impressive Ash, you've certainly earned this badge" Wulfric said as he handed Ash the badge.
Ash stared at the badge for nearly a minute.
"Our 8th badge, we're in the pokemon league!" Ash said to Pikachu and Tyrantrum.
Later that day the group was at Belloc's house.
"Ash I'm so proud of you" Serena said.
"I am too son" Felix said.
"Looks like we're both in the pokemon league" Red said.
"I guess so" Ash said.
"So what's your guys' plan now?" Felix said.
"Well the Grand festival is starting later next month so we're heading back to Lumoise city" Ash said.
"Well you're mom will be happy to see you again" Felix said.
"It will be good to see her too" Ash said.
"Well I need to get back to her ASAP. Like I said she doesn't like me spending extended periods of time doing Guardian work" Felix said.
"Well we'll see you in Lumoise then" Ash said before he and Red hugged their father.
"Thanks for letting us stay with you Belloc, we really appreciate it" Korrina said.
"It was no problem. Any member of the brotherhood is welcome in my home" Belloc said. The group packed up their things and made their way out of Snowbelle city towards route 21.
"Well we have all 8 gym badges and Serena is a duchess. We're almost there" Red said.
"Our journeys are getting closer to their end" Serena said.
"I think our journeys won't end after the festival and league our over" Ash said as he stared up at the horizon.
Author's note:
Yes Ash has finally come to terms with what he did. There will be no more moping, no more depression, and no more blackouts. Ash still knows what he did and doesn't just act like it never happened, but is ready to move on and be himself again.
Sorry I didn't get anywhere with Charizard, that will be the next few chapters.
Also I know this chapter was a bit shorter and simpler but I needed to get it out of the way.
So until next time please review, comment, suggest, or ask.