Halloween Aftermath: Schooled!

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"I can't believe you got into a fight on your first day here!" the principal said shaking her head. "I was warned that your sister was a troublemaker, but your record showed no signs of it, however the three girls in the infirmary speak for themselves!"

"Self defense is self defense, what I can't believe is that I wasn't here an hour before I was assaulted," Dawn said bluntly, much to her mother's horror.

"Those three girls say something completely different and their stories are backed up by several eyewitnesses," the principal said firmly glaring at her over the top of her glasses. "Not to mention the fact that their parents are well known and respected members of the community, while—"

"I had a tape recorder running during the entire altercation," Dawn said cheerfully, interrupting what she'd been about about to say.

"What?" the principal asked.

"I was recording an idea I had on a micro recorder when those three 'upstanding citizens' and their friends decided to surround me and knock my books out of my hands," Dawn said calmly. "I also noted the location of a video camera that was nearby," Dawn said.

"You broke the arm of one of the girls and there is still the matter of the switchblade," the principal rallied.

"The switchblade you tried to make me pick up so my fingerprints would be on it?" Dawn asked with a raised eyebrow. "I don't buy your innocent act, Mrs. Johnson. I wasn't here an hour before your model students pulled a knife on me, attempted to bully me, and tried to re-enact a prison shower scene. I have audio, the security company has video and I believe at this point I have enough evidence to call the police and have them charged with sexual assault on a minor and armed assault with you as an accomplice." Dawn pulled out a micro-recorder and pushed play letting them hear what did indeed sound like a re-enactment of a b-grade prison rape scene from a movie that should have Ilsa in the title.

Joyce leveled a glare at the principal that made her fear for her life.

"I-I swear I had no idea!" she exclaimed.

"Here is what's going to happen," Dawn said. "I will provide you with a copy of the audio, you will provide me with a copy of the video. You will play it for the girls' parents, and if any of them so much as looks in my direction with less than a friendly smile, I will destroy them. Now, start the paperwork transferring me to Sunnydale High please, because I don't think I like it here," Dawn finished with a flourish.

"Y-yes, of course, Miss Summers," the principal stuttered out before rushing to follow her orders.

Ten minutes later

Joyce started the car and smoothly pulled away from the curb. "Dear?"

"Yes, mom?" Dawn replied.

"You handled that beautifully," Joyce said. "Are you sure you still want to attend high school?"

"I'm not going to let some bullies interfere in my education, besides I'll have Xander to protect me at Sunnydale," Dawn said cheerfully.

"It didn't look like you needed any protection and I don't recall you taking any martial arts classes," Joyce told her youngest daughter.

"Me and Xander watched a lot of Kung-Fu movies and they were easy enough to copy. You saw us arguing about which moves were real and which ones were fake, before we'd try to and copy the movements, often while getting pillows thrown at us," Dawn said.

"What all has Xander taught you?" Joyce asked, trying to sound casual.

Dawn snickered. "Mom, subtle you aint," she said with a southern drawl. "Sadly, Xander says I'm much too young for a lot of what I do want him to teach me. I've gotten exactly one kiss from him and he had to be nearly concussed and taken by surprise for that!"

"I just want to make sure he's not taking advantage of you," Joyce said.

"I—" Dawn almost said 'I wish' but decided her mother probably wouldn't appreciate hearing that, even or especially if it was true and quickly changed it to, "can't see Xander ever behaving that way. He jokes around a lot and is very free with the hugs, but he's already said that with the age gap between us I'd need to be at least sixteen before he'd consider dating me."

"I'm glad to hear it," Joyce said, happy that her high opinion of Xander still held true.

"He's definitely one tough nut to crack," Dawn said with a sigh. "And even if it takes me a year or two to wear him down, at least I can cuddle with him to my heart's content in the meantime."

Joyce found herself smiling, the days unpleasantness forgotten for the moment. "What would you say to an ice cream Sunday?"

"I would hold my spoon aloft and say, 'My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!" Dawn replied.

Joyce laughed and turned the car towards the ice cream shop. School could wait till after lunch.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

"You peaked!" Buffy exclaimed.

"I was wondering what you were sitting on since you looked so uncomfortable," Xander replied. "Imagine my surprise when I saw it was your own nuts."

"You are taking this way too calmly," Buffy said. "What gives?"

"I just spent the last four hours sparring with someone who wasn't going to stop until I managed to draw blood, and has fought in duels that lasted days." Xander unbuttoned his long sleeved flannel shirt and showed some of the bandages beneath. "Exhaustion and blood loss make it very hard to shock me at the moment."

"Are you OK?" Willow asked, rushing over to examine him.

"I'm fine Wils, he just wanted to see how much I'd retained and make sure I was able to handle myself," Xander told her as she checked his bandages shocked speechless at the sheer number of them.

"Retained?" Giles asked concerned.

"I dressed as a magical prince and planeswalker," Xander explained. "And apparently the connection went both ways, because he remembered everything I'd done. To make sure I could take care of myself he gave me a sword and reinforced my memory and reflexes the quickest way he knew how."

"Where is he now?" Giles asked.

"Off to find Princess Leia," Xander said, stopping Willow from unbuttoning his pants. "She made quite an impression on him, so he's gone off to wander infinity and find her."

"He did, huh?" Buffy asked arching her eyebrow.

"Dawn decided a Jedi trained Princess Leia was much more interesting than the common version who hooked up with Han," Xander said.

"And what do you think?" Buffy asked.

"I think she's right and that you are actually asking a completely different question, which is 'What do I think of Dawn?'."

"And?" Buffy asked giving him a look.

"I think she's a great girl and if she was a few years older I wouldn't mind dating her, however as she is so much younger I think waiting until she's at least sixteen is a much more reasonable view. Now, girl who is fifteen and dating a man who is well over two centuries older than her and can truthfully be called a demon infested corpse, what is your opinion on the matter?" Xander said coldly, refusing to be cowed.

Buffy winced. "That's different, I'm the slayer." She sighed. "Yeah that sounded lame, even to me," she admitted after couple seconds.

"You're dating Dawn?" Willow asked, just to be sure he wasn't.

"I'm not willing to date anyone under fifteen and since there is a three and a half nearly four year age difference between us I told her she'd have to be at least sixteen before I'd consider it," Xander said. "I have no idea why Buffy has a bug up her butt about it."

"Dawn could wear you down a lot quicker than you think," Buffy said. "She is sneaky and relentless!"

"Hey Lucy, I'm home!" Dawn called out as she entered the library.

"Dawn? What are you doing here?" Buffy asked.

"I transferred from Forden after I was jumped by some bullies," Dawn said.

"Are you alright?" Buffy asked at the same time Xander asked, "What condition are they in?"

"Battered and bruised," Dawn admitted. "One has a broken arm, but she did pull a knife, it was awful!" She teared up a bit and Xander immediately opened his arms for her.

"Well you're here now and if anyone gives you any trouble I want you to tell me, alright?" Xander said as he held her and rubbed her back.

"I promise," she agreed with a bright smile. Opening the bag in her hand she brought out a huge ice cream Sunday. "Mom stopped by the ice cream shop but this is way too big for me to eat by myself. Share it with me?"

"I never say no to ice cream," Xander said as Dawn brought out a single plastic spoon and began feeding him, occasionally taking a bite herself.

"He's doomed," Buffy said shaking her head.

Willow didn't reply as she was taking notes on what Dawn was doing to charm Xander. "I could pull that off," she muttered to herself.

"Shouldn't we be researching how to correct the situation with Buffy?" Giles asked.

Buffy froze as she realized, she'd just absently reached down to scratch herself like a guy would. "Yes, yes we should!" she said anxiously.

Typing by: Stephenopolos