Sorry that this is a bit of a late update! Thanks for sticking with me.

As always, thanks for the reviews and thanks for reading! There's quite a lot of fluff in this chapter (:

Follow me on tumblr! .com… message me and let me know what you think of my story.

Chapter 17

Blaine took Kurt out for coffee after glee club, as he had promised. Before glee ended, Rachel made it clear to everyone that she was "dating" Blaine by kissing him in the doorway before they all left the choir room. Kurt saw Tina and Mercedes look at each other in confusion. He walked with them to the front of the school and explained everything that was going on.

"Artie owes us ten bucks," was the first thing Mercedes said.

"You can't tell him, though. You can't tell anyone, yet. Wait, you were betting on me?" Kurt questioned.

"We won't, Kurt. We won't tell a single person. Your secret is safe with us," Tina promised. "Thanks for keeping us updated. If I had thought that Blaine was really dating Rachel, I probably would have never spoken to him again."

They stood outside as they waited for the after-school bus to arrive. Kurt stood with the girls and continued talking about his relationship with Blaine, because they were curious.

"…And then the first day we hung out I could just tell that he was gay, but I didn't want to push him into talking about it. He needed to figure it out on his own," Kurt continued the story. He saw Blaine exit the school with Rachel following close behind. He made eye contact with him and Blaine smiled automatically.

"He seems so much happier when he sees you, Kurt. I'm so happy for you two," Tina said. Blaine walked toward them and Rachel followed. The five of them were the only students outside. Rachel grabbed Blaine's hand, but he let go. He then explained to Rachel that Tina and Mercedes were in on the secret.

"Hey, babe," Blaine said to Kurt as he approached him and the girls. He used the pet name only to rub it in Rachel's face that he liked Kurt rather than her. But, he had to admit that it felt fantastic to talk to Kurt in a boyfriend-ish way in front of other people. It made their relationship feel normal. "My dad will be here very soon," he told Kurt.

The five of them stood in a semi-circle in the middle of the pavement. Tina and Mercedes shared smiles and mouthed "awe" to each other when Kurt and Blaine spoke. Kurt noticed this, but ignored it.

Blaine's father pulled up to the sidewalk and Kurt and Blaine entered the car. Kurt noticed that Blaine's hair had less hair gel in it then just before, and that his face was slightly red and wet.

They both went into the back seat.

"Hey, Blaine. Hello, Kurt. How was football practice?" Mr. Anderson asked.

"It was okay. We were in the gym because it's starting to get cold out. It was a really light practice," Blaine lied.

"And why did you stay at school after school hours, Kurt?" his dad asked.

Kurt only needed a second to think of a lie. "I needed help in math," he fibbed. Technically, it was not untrue. Kurt was horrible at math.

Mr. Anderson drove a little while until they reached Blaine's favorite coffee place. "I'll be back whenever," he said as they got out of the car.

"Thanks for the ride," Kurt said.

As they entered the Lima Bean, Kurt began to laugh.

"You're lucky that I'm a fantastic liar, Blaine," he said. Blaine smiled.

"Sorry. I didn't realize he'd ask you questions," Blaine apologized. They ordered their coffee after waiting in a short line and sat down.

"How'd you get yourself to look like that?" Kurt asked, referring to Blaine's red face.

"Oh, Rachel gave me her blush to make me look red. Clever, huh?"

"Very."

Blaine retrieved a water bottle from his bag, poured water onto a napkin, and wiped his face with it, turning the napkin pink. "Speaking of Rachel," Kurt began, "How do you feel about this whole situation?" Kurt questioned.

"You know I don't like it, Kurt. But, what else are we supposed to do?"

"How long do you think we'll have to keep pretending?" Kurt asked.

"Not past June," Blaine answered.

"June? Blaine that's, like, seven months away. I was thinking, like, a few weeks. Maybe a month, tops. You're really going to date Rachel for seven months?" Kurt asked.

"Kurt, this is my first year at this school. I need to spend time building up a reputation. I know people are already intimated by me. But, I need more. I need to seem untouchable. I need to seem like nothing can hurt me. I want people to compare me to Harley Keiner from Boy Meets World. Have you seen that show? That's who I want to be," Blaine explained.

"You want to be a juvenile delinquent? Blaine, Harley Keiner was the person who beat people up and tried to smash that cool teacher's motorcycle and was just an all-around horrible person. That's really who you want to be?"

"No. I don't know. Kurt, I don't know why, but I have this strong urge to always seem better than everyone around me. I can't stand the idea of someone my age looking down on me. It honestly scares me. I need to be number one," Blaine said.

"You're my number one. Isn't that enough for you?"

Blaine remained silent.

"I have another question. It's the beginning of November. Football is about to end. Are you going to continue going to glee club? What will you tell your dad?" Kurt asked impatiently.

"I don't know, Kurt. Maybe I'll tell him I need tutoring. Or that I'm at your house every Tuesday," Blaine answered. "I haven't figured anything out yet. I haven't thought anything through. I'm trying to accept myself right now and it's hard to focus on anything except that. I know I seem like I'm okay with myself, but I'm not. I don't want this life. I don't want to be gay. I'm having a really hard time trying to be okay with it," Blaine admitted.

"I don't like my life, either, Blaine. I don't like that I'm picked on every day. I don't like that my father is constantly disappointed in me, although he doesn't admit it. I don't like that it took me sixteen years to find one friend. These things are hard to deal with. And, as you know, I don't handle my frustration in a very healthy way. But, I still wouldn't change a single thing. My life can be hard and confusing and sad, but it's mine. I'm proud of who I am, and that's enough for me to keep going. Being gay isn't the worst thing in the world. At least you're not an ass. At least you're not mean or rude. You're a lovely person, Blaine. Don't let the fact that you like to kiss boys make you think you're any less than great. I can guarantee that you're the best person I know," Kurt assured Blaine.

"I don't like to kiss boys, Kurt. I only like to kiss one," Blaine said, and leaned across the table to kiss Kurt. He didn't bother looking over his shoulder because he knew that no one from their school would be there. "Thanks, Kurt. That really made me feel better," Blaine said.

"I know you think that you'll never enjoy being who you are. But, I promise that after a while, you'll never want to be anything but gay. In fact, you'll be offended if people think you're straight. You just need time and space," Kurt said.

"I'm so lucky that you're with me. If I didn't have such a wonderful boyfriend, it would be so much easier to tell myself that I'm straight. You give me reassurance that I'm definitely gay," Blaine told Kurt. "Wait, did we just have a fight? Or were just speaking very passionately to each other?"

"That wasn't a fight. It was me giving you advice. I'm not mad that you think you need to fake date Rachel for a long time. I'm just frustrated by your on-going need to be the king of the school. If you didn't feel like you need to be head-honcho, it would be easier for you to come out," Kurt said.

"No, wait, you never let me finish explaining that. Let's go back to the Harley thing. Do you think that if Harley Keiner told everyone he was gay, that he'd get any shit about it? No, he wouldn't. Because no matter what, everyone knew that Harley was always going to rule the school. I want people to see that I'm so tough, being gay won't even matter. It won't even phase people," Blaine tried to explain.

"But, you're not actually tough, Blaine. You don't actually beat kids up and talk back to teachers. You're actually extremely polite. You only look tough. You can only pretend to be strong for so long. Just like how you can only pretend to be straight for so long. Eventually, Blaine, the real you is going to slip out for everyone to see. And, that's not a moment that you should be scared of happening. You don't realize that the real you is incredible," Kurt said.

"Thank you. For everything. You're being so supportive. I'd be lost without you," Blaine said. He grabbed Kurt's hand and held it across the table.

"I have a lot of homework to do after this date, otherwise I'd invite you to my house afterwards. But, would you like to come over tomorrow? We're making our own personal pizzas. And, pizza's like our thing, kind of. And, I don't think you've ever been to my house," Blaine offered.

"I'd love to. We can study for that science test that we have on Thursday. Don't you think your parents get suspicious that you're always with me, though? I mean, I know my dad is. He still asks me every day if I'm dating you. Even after I told him that you went on that date with Rachel," Kurt said.

"I don't know. But, soon, I'll tell them that I'm dating Rachel, anyway. Ugh, but they might want to meet Rachel, which means I'll have to hang out with her outside of school. Oh! Maybe I can tell them that I joined glee club because my "girlfriend" made me. That's plausible, right? But, I'll wait until football is officially over to tell them," Blaine said.

"When you first moved here, did you ever think your life would become like this, Blaine?" Kurt asked, curiously. "That you'd have a fake girlfriend and you'd pretend to be at practice when you were really at glee?"

"In all honesty, the first thing I thought when I found out that I was switching schools was, I wonder if they have a good glee club. But, no, I never thought my life would be like this. That I'd meet a marvelous boy who I would eventually fall for and then pretend to date an extremely annoying girl. You know what's weird? I thought that when football was over, I'd have no other reason to be at this school, because that was the only reason I'm here. But, now I have you, and I have the glee club, and that is so much better than a stupid football team," Blaine stated. "I'm sure you had no idea that your junior year would be like this," Blaine said.

"Not at all. I thought it would be like every other year of high school. Lonely and boring. But, you changed everything. Honestly, you gave me purpose. I don't want to sound sappy, but, Blaine, you seriously lit up my life. You made everything better and you gave me a reason to get out of bed every day. Knowing that someone cares about me the way you do has had a huge impact on my mental health. You don't know how much I've improved from last year, because of you," Kurt revealed.

"Can I ask you something personal, about that? About your health and all that?" Blaine asked. They were sitting in the corner of the coffee shop, where no one could hear them, so they weren't worried.

"Of course," Kurt answered, but Blaine's phone started to beep.

"My dad's here," Blaine said after he checked his phone. Kurt thought the date was quick, but he checked the time on his phone and realized that they were there for nearly an hour. "We can continue this at my house tomorrow," Blaine said.

The boys went outside and found Blaine's father in the tiny parking lot.

Mr. Anderson drove Kurt home. Blaine wanted to walk Kurt to the door, but did not want his dad to be suspicious of them. So, he said a quick goodbye to Kurt as he hopped out of the car.

"See you tomorrow," Kurt responded.

He went inside and went straight to his room to do his homework. Barely ten minutes later, he received a text from Blaine. "I had fun. Miss you already," it read. Kurt blushed. He had been frustrated with their situation lately, and he thought that he wouldn't be able to keep being patient with Blaine. He figured he would need to give Blaine some space to think things through. But, things like that text message made Kurt realize that he didn't want to give Blaine space. No matter what, Blaine made Kurt feel good.

It was going to be hard for Kurt to watch Blaine hang all over Rachel at school, but he knew that every sacrifice for Blaine would be worth it in the end.

Kurt remembered earlier that day, at the coffee place, Blaine had casually mentioned that he was falling for Kurt. He kept replaying Blaine's words in his head. I'd meet a marvelous boy who I would eventually fall for.

Kurt replied to Blaine's text, "Me, too. Excited for tomorrow. Also, I'm going to get my dad to come with me to your last football game on Saturday, if that's alright."

Blaine texted back immediately, "That would be wonderful."

Kurt smiled. He liked the way Blaine talked – or texted. He didn't want to end the conversation there because he liked to see the way Blaine put words together to form sentences.

"Still doing homework? Because I am. This history packet is killer," Kurt texted.

"Yes. It's hard to focus while I'm thinking about seeing your exquisite face tomorrow," Blaine said back. Kurt's smile widened. He always ended up taking a screen shot of almost every text Blaine sends to him because he had a beautiful way with words. Kurt liked how he said things such as wonderful, and lovely and exquisite –which was his new favorite. It made Blaine sound brilliant.

"Try to focus on seeing Mr. Coleman's face when you tell him that you didn't do that homework," Kurt typed back.

He knew Blaine would laugh at that.

"That is surprisingly motivating. Text you when I'm done," Blaine responded.

"Sure. Or text me before you fall asleep. Whichever one happens first," Kurt said. He went back to working on his homework before going downstairs for dinner, which was a bowl of cereal because he wouldn't have time to make anything else.

After an hour, Blaine texted Kurt a picture of the history homework, giving him all of the answers. In return, Kurt promised to let Blaine copy the science lab during lunch the next day.

"What a great trade offer," Blaine responded.

Blaine called Kurt around ten, and they talked on the phone until Kurt heard his dad come upstairs. By that time, Blaine had fallen halfway asleep, anyway.

"See you tomorrow, Blaine," Kurt whispered into the phone.

"Yeah," Blaine breathed out. Kurt laughed at how tired Blaine sounded.

"Sleep tight," he said to Blaine before hanging up.

Wednesday:

Kurt rode home on Blaine's bus after school the next day.

"I can't believe we had a pop quiz in history today. I didn't know any of the answers since I didn't even do the homework by myself," Kurt mentioned when they sat down in a three-seater.

"I know. It was uncalled for, really," Blaine answered.

Kurt watched the bus door as students climbed on. He didn't recognize anyone.

"Oh, Kurt, I should warn you -" Blaine began, but it was too late. Onto the bus came two large boys in varsity jackets. David and Bryan. Kurt recalled a time where those two boys told him that Blaine would never be interested in him because he wasn't gay. Kurt laughed to himself. Jokes on you, he thought.

"Whoa! Look what we have here, Bryan. A stray gay. You lost, Hummel? You don't belong on this bus," David sat. He sat in the seat across from them, and Bryan sat in the seat behind David. He leaned forward to see what Kurt was going to say back to Dave.

"Don't bother us," Blaine chimed in immediately.

"You boys going on a date tonight?" David teased.

"If two boys can't hang out without it being gay, then you, David, must be a flaming homosexual because I've never seen you around anyone besides your team mates," Kurt exclaimed before he could stop himself. Blaine tried to keep his jaw from dropping.

David's face turned bright red and Kurt thought that maybe he finally got through to him.

"You'll regret everything you just said, Hummel. I'm coming for you," David said fiercely.

"You'll have to go through me to get to him, Dave. Think before you act," Blaine advised. David turned on his iPod and remained silent throughout the rest of the bus ride.

When the bus reached Blaine's bus stop, both boys plus David got off the bus. David stammered off before Blaine could say anything to him. Once he was out of sight, Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand.

"My parents aren't home right now," Blaine stated. "So we have the house to ourselves."

Kurt grew nervous. "Blaine, we're not going to do anything, right? I mean, I love being with you but I don't want to go any further-"

"Oh, no. No, that's not what I meant," Blaine said, chuckling a little. "No, we can just cuddle on the couch and kiss a little without worrying if someone will walk in. Which is what we do at your house, anyway, when your dad isn't home."

"Okay. That's good," Kurt replied.

They walked hand-in-hand to Blaine's house. He finally dropped Kurt's hand to retrieve his house key from his bag. They entered his home and Kurt looked around, observing everything.

"Yeah, even though we moved in, like, two months ago, it's still kind of messy. I mean, not really in here, but in the basement and my brother's room, there's a ton of boxes and stuff," Blaine explained.

"No, it's fine. It's lovely," Kurt said.

He put his bag on the coffee table and sat on the couch. Blaine smiled and sat down next to him. He put his arm around him and kissed his cheek.

Kurt turned his head and looked into Blaine's golden brown eyes, then down at his pink lips. He dove in, initiating the kiss. He didn't want to turn into one of those couples who spent all of their time making out. But, in the actual moment of kissing, it never seems like a waste of time. Each kiss he shared with Blaine made him fill up with warmth.

He kissed Blaine a lot, but they often got nervous after a long time and stopped abruptly. The nerves were either due to fear of someone walking in on them, or fear or making the other one uncomfortable. But, they didn't have those fears this time.

Blaine slipped his tongue into Kurt's mouth quickly and smoothly, as opposed to his usual slow caution. Something in their kiss was different. They were both confident that the other one was pleased. Blaine was always nervous he was going too fast, and vice versa. This kiss felt like their mouths were agreeing with one another. Blaine placed a hand on Kurt's waist, only to feel the return of a touch from Kurt on his cheek.

Kurt slowly inched closer to Blaine, although he was already nearly on top of him. He twisted his body to face Blaine's more, and Blaine followed in this action.

They continued to kiss like this for a long amount of time, occasionally stopping to take a deep breath. What seemed to them a few minutes of kissing, actually ended up to be an hour.

Kurt took control of the kiss, his tongue exploring Blaine's mouth. Blaine moved his hand to Kurt's neck, cradling his head. Kurt took this opportunity to move his position as well. He slid his hand down Blaine's chest slowly, then stopped at his thigh. He was nervous, though, and continued to move his hand toward Blaine's waist. The feeling of Kurt's hands all over him sent a wave of electricity through Blaine's body. Blaine massaged Kurt's lower lip with his tongue before moving back into Kurt's mouth.

Kurt decided to try something new. He separated himself from Blaine, and smiled a little when Blaine searched for Kurt's lips again before realizing Kurt had stopped. Blaine opened his eyes in confusion, but not a second later, Kurt's lips were on Blaine's neck. Blaine closed his eyes again at the contact. He even let little moans slip out of his mouth. Kurt was sure Blaine was trying to hide the noises that he was uncontrollably making.

Blaine heard a car outside the house, and he calmly told Kurt to stop.

"I think my parents just came home. What time is it?" Blaine asked. Kurt checked his phone.

"Oh my god," they both said.

"How could it be five already?" Blaine asked. They heard a car door slam. "We've literally been going at it for about two hours."

"Hours well spent," Kurt commented. Blaine smiled in agreement.

Blaine grabbed the remote and turned the TV on and moved a few inches away from Kurt to seem like they were just casually hanging out. They had one second to spare before Blaine's mother walked into the house.

"Hello, Blaine. Oh, and Kurt. Nice to see you," she said sweetly. Kurt figured that she wouldn't be the one to have a problem with Blaine's sexuality.

"Hello, Mrs. Anderson," Kurt greeted back.

"I'm going to go get started on dinner right away. Your father will be home in about an hour. What will you boys be up to?" she asked as she walked toward the kitchen.

"We were just about to go do some homework in my room," Blaine lied.

"Sounds good. I'll call you when dinner is ready. Kurt, you'll be staying for dinner, yes?" she asked.

"Yes, if that's alright."

"Perfectly fine," she answered.

Kurt followed Blaine up the stairs and down the hall.

"This is my room," Blaine stated. "It's boring and plain because I haven't decorated it yet since we moved in."

They sat down on Blaine's bed together.

"Okay, we are so lucky that we heard my mom in the driveway," Blaine said. Kurt chuckled.

"Imagine if we didn't, though. That would be a horrible way for her to find out," Kurt said.

Blaine didn't answer as he got notebooks out of his bag. "Hey, Blaine, what did you want to ask me yesterday when we had coffee?" Kurt asked.

"Oh, I forgot about that. Well, it's a personal question, is that okay?"

"Of course."

Blaine took a deep breath. Kurt could tell that he was nervous to ask. "Why do you hurt yourself?" he asked.

"Oh. Well, in simple terms, it makes me feel better when I'm feeling sad. It relieves stress, you know? Like, you know how when people are angry they punch walls? It's like that," Kurt explained.

"But I don't get why you're still sad. Don't I make you happy? You said so yourself that I lit up your life," Blaine asked sadly.

"Blaine, darling, it has nothing to do with you. Look, I'm not afraid to admit that there's something wrong in my life. I feel sad when there's no reason to. You make me so incredibly happy, but I'm still sad deep down inside. People can be sad and happy at the same time. I know it seems unrealistic, but it's true. But, please don't ever think that that's your fault, because it isn't. Being in a relationship just isn't enough to make me feel better. I need, like, professional help. But, my dad works enough as it is. I don't need him thinking that he has to work harder to get me a therapist or something," Kurt explained.

"I just wish there was something I could do to help," Blaine said.

"You do help, I promise. You may not realize you're helping, but just knowing that you will always be by my side is enough help I need to get me through the day without wanting to break down," Kurt assured him.

"Well, if there's anything else I can do, let me know, okay?"

"Yeah, okay. I'll let you know," Kurt promised.

"Good. I'd do anything to make sure you're happy," Blaine said.