Reflexive Actions

"Mom, can I talk to you for a minute?" Daria asked.

"Sure hon, what do you need?"

"It's a mother-daughter talk," Daria explained, gesturing to the kitchen.

"And which one am I this time?" Helen asked with a smirk, remembering the last serious talk they'd had which was mostly Daria explaining how she'd prefer to do her own clothes shopping as she didn't want to be part of the in-crowd although the words she'd used had been 'Barbie clone'. Helen had been both happy and sad afterwards. Happy, because her daughter was already finding herself as an individual and sad that she'd had to have it pointed out to her.

"The mother," Daria assured her.

"Does it have something to do with the fact that you're wearing different clothes than you went out in? In fact," Helen said as the kitchen door closed behind her, "I'm pretty sure I saw those being worn by Jane and Ranma tonight."

"I don't think so, but that's probably going to be a related topic," Daria explained, "and this isn't the shirt Ranma was wearing, this one he gave me since Jane said it'd make a great shirt to sleep in."

"OK, hit me with your best shot," Helen said.

"I bit Ranma!"

"Oh my!" Helen was momentarily stunned. "I didn't think I'd be giving this lecture so soon, but let me get some props and I'll be right back."

"So this isn't too weird?" Daria asked hopefully.

"No dear. Trust me when I say that every girl has that problem at first. It's a reflex that we all learn to overcome."

Daria relaxed a little as her mother ran upstairs to get a few things. With her worries about her strange behavior laid to rest she allowed herself to smile as she remembered how much fun she'd had.

Helen returned with a bag and pulled out some objects. The first object she pulled out was a pamphlet entitled 'Little Hummer Girl' that looked to have been printed in the 60's. The second item she pulled out was a box of condoms labeled mentholated, which caused Daria's eyes to widen, but it was the third item that had Daria blushing a bright red.

"Now this is larger than anything you're ever likely to run into, which makes it perfect to use for this. The mentholated condoms will help numb things down so you'll learn to overcome your gag reflex easier and the booklet is one me and the girls had printed up when we were in college-" Helen explained only to be interrupted by Daria.

"Wrong type of biting Mom."

"Oh? Well I suppose I should finish this real quick so we don't have to go through this again."

Daria nodded, deciding that finishing this lecture so she never had to go through with it again was more important that her current problem which they could handle afterwards.

"Well, really everything should be self-explanatory. When you can do everything in the booklet without using a mentholated condom to numb your throat you'll have overcome your gag reflex and be able to keep any man happy," Helen finished, replacing everything in the bag and handing it to Daria.

"OK," Daria said blushing but accepting the bag. "What I actually want to talk about is the fact that I lost control when giving Ranma a hug and bit his neck."

"Ohhh, the cave woman response," Helen said, happy that this was easier to deal with.

"So it's not abnormal?"

"No dear, it's not abnormal at all. A lot of girlfriends leave little love bites like that to warn other girls off. It's simply marking your territory."

"But we aren't dating," Daria protested.

"Well apparently you are, because you marked him as yours," Helen smirked.

"Isn't one of us supposed to ask the other first?" Daria squeaked.

"Well dear, normally there are a lot of steps before we reach the biting stage, but I'd have to say you did go through some of them. You've both had dinner here and at his house. He's been very attentive to you and listens when you talk. You went on a date to a party with him, the only thing I see missing is a lot of fumbling around and making out, but it's not mandatory and I can see a bite mark on your neck as well." Helen hid her smile behind her coffee cup.

"That's actually from Jane," Daria said.

Helen's eyes widened. "And that's a whole different speech."

"Mother!"

"Daughter!" Helen shot back teasingly.

Daria groaned. "It wasn't like that! She was getting be back for biting her breast…let me tell you what happened from the beginning."

One story later…

"I'd have to say it's at least a little like that," Helen said apologetically. "Ask yourself this, can you name one other girl you'd be comfortable enough around to behave that way towards and do you find it amusing or threatening when they behave like that towards each other?" Helen said reasonably.

"Point," Daria admitted.

"It doesn't mean you are a lesbian or even bi-sexual. Girls often have a girlfriend they are close to who backs them up when they are exploring their sexuality with a guy and they may experiment with the girl themselves even if they are not normally attracted to girls. Social pressure generally forces one of the girls to look for another guy, which is easier to do now that she's fooled around with the two and has some confidence. The couple vets the guy and if he's acceptable he's allowed to date the girl and they end up as two couples that do everything together and unless they turn out to be swingers the early relationship is never referred to again."

"You make it sound so…"

"Easy?"

"Normal," Daria said confused.

"It is normal honey, it's simply not openly discussed even by psychologists because the government would cut their funding and they'd come under fire by the religious right if they published anything on it. Truthfully my generation never discussed such things with our parents because despite the fact that it was common in their day as well, it was never spoken of because it contradicted the morals of the day. Fortunately for you I grew up in the 60's where everyone was very open about these things, before the 70's came along and everyone clammed up again, so I can tell you the truth. I don't have to tell you that nearly everything you learn has a state sponsored bias on it, just know that no relationship you are in is all that unusual and as long as it involves consenting people around your age I will approve of it because it makes you happy."

Daria impulsively hugged her mom for a minute before they both pulled back and pretended they hadn't had a tender moment.

"You're a lot more complex that I thought, mom. Not that I think you are simplistic, I just thought your life was a lot simpler than apparently it is," Daria explained.

"That's because you can't picture us as people your age. Just think about the things you've done so far and realize we've probably already done them and it's entirely possible that in the time since then we've done everything you are going to do and since we grew up in the 60's things that I sincerely hope you have the sense to never do," Helen finished, smirking at Daria's shocked look.

"Like acting completely out of character after being placed in a small walk in closet cum laundry room with Ranma and Jane for a while?" Daria said.

"It's called hormones dear, you now have a much better outlet than a warm bath, a couple of willing participants, providing you can keep one from dying of blood loss," Helen teased.

"So does 'everything' include wrestling my female friend while nearly naked with our boyfriend while who is a genuine superhuman and can see through underwear?" Daria smirked figuring she'd one upped her mom.

"Not quite, but I did make out with my girlfriend with mostly naked, while my boyfriend watched and he had the power to melt panties with a look," Helen smirked.

"Your boyfriend in high school had the ability to melt panties with a look?" Daria asked.

"College hon, and by melt I mean he could give girls a smoky look that made girls have to change their panties," Helen smirked.

"Well mine…" Daria trailed off. "What am I doing?"

"Just like any woman you are competing for who has the best man dear and you are becoming a woman." Helen smiled proudly.

"And I just realized I was arguing with my mom over my dad," Daria said stunned.

"Yep kiddo, your dad is a man. He's calmed down a bit since we were younger, but he's the same man who is banned from entering New York City for beating up their mayor, can't even fly over the state of Kentucky at all and we were both banned from ever attending Mardi Gras in New Orleans for another decade. "

"I'm beginning to suspect you two weren't always responsible adults, although I still doubt you were ever my age," Daria teased.

Helen laughed. "Well there was a very good reason for everything but the Mardi Gras ban."

"Beating up a Mayor?" Daria questioned doubtfully.

"We were just visiting New York with you and what looked like a parade was going on so we were waiting for it to go by, when this man plucked you for your stroller. Jake went for him in an instant, but his body guards got in the way. Jake could hear you crying because you weren't fond of strangers, even back then, so your father tore apart five highly trained bodyguards like they were made of paper to get to you and once he got you away from the 'kidnapper' he literally kicked the crap out of him. It wasn't until the crowd fell silent in shocked horror that someone told us what was going on. The parade was for the Mayor who was out shaking hands and kissing babies and your father had just ripped apart his entire squad of bodyguards and assaulted him."

Daria just stared in open mouthed shock.

"OK, I may have been responsible for making sure they stayed down with a few well-placed kicks myself, but really your father did all the hard work and the Mayor himself admitted it was an honest, if extremely violent mistake, but they still banned him from setting foot in New York City ever again."

"Am I allowed to feel proud that my parents committed gratuitous amounts of violence on a dually elected official and poor men just doing their job?" Daria said, having a hard time keeping a straight face.

"Yes you are dear, he should have known better than to just snatch up somebodies child like that without permission," Helen said firmly.

"Good, because I do," Daria said with a smile. "This has gone a lot better than I thought it would," Daria admitted.

"What did you think would happen?" Helen asked curiously.

"I was expecting to find out that I needed a shrink or medication, not that I was normal. I was half expecting to get grounded too," Daria explained.

Helen laughed. "Nope, you're just growing up, a bit slower and a lot smarter than me and your father did."

"Thanks, Mom."

"By the way, does mister 'can't see panties' have anyone betting on amnesiac Asian deity?"

"Nope, we have alien, experiment, and dimensional warrior bet on so far. Fifty per person."

"I'll take amnesiac Asian deity," Helen said firmly, handing Daria fifty.

"You think Ranma is a god?" Daria asked.

"Not quite, but I think a demi-god like Hercules fits the bill. I chose deity just to cover all the bases, just like a chose Asian rather than Japanese, just in case his mother turns out to be Chinese or something."

"I wonder if he can melt panties with a glance and rip apart armed guards like paper," Daria said with a grin.

Helen laughed. "My personal Hercules is a modest and retired demi-god."

"And… mine is just starting the climb," Daria said making both women shiver as the words rang in the air.

Typing by: the last primarch!