Disclaimer: I don't own the walking dead world, unfortunately. also, little author's note, thanks for the support! Seriously you all have been keeping me going on this, I wanted to write another chapter before I have to go back to work on Saturday. I just wanted to let you guys know that I do have a baby girl of my own though now she's more of a toddler and so if it takes me forever to get another chapter up please understand that it can be difficult to find the time or the energy to focus on this. Thanks again!
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Rick walked into the cafeteria, it was dark outside and every one had already had dinner but he and Carl had slept through it. Carl woke up before him and already grabbed something to eat. He was playing with his baby sister already when Rick woke up.
Beth was in the kitchen area, washing some of the dishes in between the frequent yawns. Rick admired how cute she looked just then, the little gasps she let out and the way she shook her head to stay awake.
"Hey." He smiled at her, running a hand through his thick hair.
"Hey." she smiled back shyly. Her eyes showing just how sleepy she really was.
"I'm just going to get myself a can of green beans and a granola bar if that's alright. I slept through dinner." He crossed the floor to the cabinets.
"I actually saved you plate, it's cold, but it's spaghetti, daddy's favorite." Beth reached for the plate on the counter with a towel over it. She dried off a fork real quick from the clean side and handed it with the plate to him.
"Thanks, you're a real sweetheart you know that. I don't know what I'd do with out you." Rick said sitting down at the nearest spot to the kitchen to eat.
"You'd either be really tired or really hungry, but more than likely both." She grinned, rinsing off a plate and putting it on a rack to dry.
"I suppose you got a point there." He managed between bites.
There was a comfortable silence between them, Beth working on the dishes as he ate. Rick saw so much of Lori in Beth. It wasn't something he thought often, but the way she dried her hands a little between grabbing for a new one to dry off or the way that she played with Judith would remind him of his ex-wife. Beth had the same heart as Lori, the same reserve of strength, just different convictions. Rick thought that's what he liked most about Beth. She took the time to think things out before making decisions whereas Lori was all about her gut.
The door had opened and closed, both of them looked up to see Daryl enter the room. He didn't have his crossbow on him which was unusual, but Beth figured it was so close to light's out, and he didn't have guard duty until the morning shift.
"As soon as you're finished there I'd like to have a talk with Rick if he doesn't mind. Just some things we've gotta go over." Daryl lifted his head towards Beth as he spoke. She nodded in understanding.
It didn't take her long to dry and put away the last of the dishes, except for Rick's plate.
"Just leave it in the sink when you're done, I'll get it in the morning. Night guys." She smiled sheepishly, rubbing an eye as she walked out.
"We need to talk." Daryl said sitting opposite Rick.
"I imagine we do. It's rare that you feel the need to come talk to me, and in private no less. What's going on?" Rick asked, pushing the plate to the side and leaning forward.
"I want you to know that Beth isn't going to go back to what she was doing. I just don't think it's fair to ask her to be your little girl's mom when she's barely able to take care of herself." Daryl was always blunt with Rick. It didn't matter how much he disagreed with the man, he spoke his peace to the leader and trusted him to consider the opinion in his decision. It took them some time to get to that agreement.
"In all due respect Daryl, I don't think you give that young woman enough credit. Yea, she's struggled in the past with pressure but she's always persevered. That's what we need. I'm not asking her to take my wife's place." Ricks voice wavered a bit, and he noticed that Daryl clenched his jaw at the last sentence.
"It just seems to me that you're depending more and more on her for a lot of different things." Daryl never lost eye contact with the other man.
"I'm depending more and more on everyone. In case you haven't noticed it's the end of the world man. I've got a rebellious pre-teen and a little baby to take care of, as well as making the tough calls in an attempt to keep us all alive. I lost my wife before I could tell her that I loved her despite all the bullshit that didn't matter. I've got a lot on my plate, we all do, and with Carol gone there's really no one else I can ask for help." Rick spoke flatly. He always kept Daryl as informed as he could, as he was ready for, but admitting that he felt guilt about Lori had seemed to roll off his tongue.
"We've all lost someone before we could have the conversation we needed to have with them. I wish I could have told Carol what she was to me before you gave her the boot, and I'm sure she wishes she could've held Sophia and told her she loved her before she lost her. You've got what other's wish they could still have Rick, and you still take it for granted and Beth she feels that it's her responsibility to keep your baby girl safe by any means necessary and I don't think you understand the gravity of that situation." Daryl sat back and ran a hand through his hair. "She's a young woman who's clinging to a baby that's not hers and I haven't figured out her reasons for it." He was quiet for a second and then he leaned forward a bit. "Rick I don't understand why she's got it in her head to be your little girl's mother, and that worries me."
Rick was a bit taken aback. He knew that Daryl calculated everything. Rick trusted him to be the observer of the group, to watch for any red flags to avoid situations like when Rick saw Lori for a while, or when Carol took things to the extreme.
"I think she's figuring out who she is and what she wants out of this life. I think you're taking her actions out of context and seeing what isn't there. If I ever got the impression that she was doing anything she didn't want to I would stop it."
"Would you? You don't get it at all, you don't see it. It's been a while since you've lost Lori, and Beth's trying to figure out where her place is in the group. You're so lonely and overwhelmed that you don't see that it ain't her. Yea Beth is a nurturing person but her place isn't your crutch." Daryl's voice raised slightly.
"I don't think of her that way. I think if you concerned yourself more with who she is now instead of who she was then maybe you'd see that she's not that scared girl we met on the farm. Actually, she has you to thank for a lot of that, standing up for her and taking her under your wing, but at some point you've got to let her stand on her own feet. She is capable of making her own decisions." Rick moved to stand up after he finished speaking.
"I think you see a woman where I see a part of our group that needs to be protected from the threats in and out of this place." Daryl practically shook his head as he spoke.
"I think you guys need to spend more time figuring out where our next meal's coming from, or who's on guard duty and less on whether you think I'm a woman or a crutch." Beth stepped out from behind the cracked door.
Daryl and Rick both looked mortified to see her, especially knowing she heard the whole conversation.
"I don't need either one of you to fight for or defend my actions. That's for me to do, and while I'm at it, let's just clear some air because I'm really tired and so not in the mood to deal with this right now. I know why you two are at odds, okay. I see it. I'm not blind and I'm not stupid." She paused. Sighing deeply before speaking again "I'm just, not there yet. I'm figuring a lot of shit out but this..." She gestures between the three of them before continuing "is not high on my list of things to think about. I just needed a bit of time to figure out some stuff, and I'm going to need way more time to figure out how I feel about certain people." She hesitated slightly before stressing the last two words.
Rick and Daryl were both silent and unsure of what to say. It was unlike Beth to be so forward, and it was certainly unlike her to listen to a conversation.
Finally Rick apologized to Beth, a quick sorry that one would get after being caught with a hand in the cookie jar, before putting his plate in the sink and leaving the room.
"You're the last person I ever expected to be discussing me or my intentions with another person with out my knowledge or approval. Also, it offends me that you can't understand why I would want to take care of Judith as if she were my own considering I felt I made it clear to you last time we talked. I'm not doing it for Rick, I'm doing it for her. It's what feels right in my heart to do it. " Beth's voice was hurt, but stern.
Daryl didn't say anything. He'd never been good at this kind of thing, the social confrontation. At least not when he was the one in the wrong. At the time, he felt he was defending her. Making sure that if she really chose Rick that she knew she didn't have to be the new Lori, but he wasn't ready to explain that. Hell he'd basically just figured it out.
"You think you know everything, or that you got it all figured out. I'm telling you that he is still a broken man and you need to be careful." Daryl made a feeble attempt at lashing out, trying to push Beth away from digging any deeper.
"He's not broken, just dealing. We all are. I don't think I know everything but I know more than you realize. I mean, if you want to have this talk we can. We can talk about intentions, justifications, perceptions and really get to the bottom of it, or we can just do what we've been doing. Bury it, ignore it, and hope neither one of us dies before we figure it out." Beth's arms were crossed and she was fighting back yawns as she spoke. It seemed she had a low tolerance for drama when it got in the way of her getting sleep.
"You can stand there and pretend to be tough all you want but the truth is you're a tired little girl that needs to run along to bed." Daryl's anger flared and caused Beth to smile at him.
"That's true, I do need to go to bed, but calling me a little girl isn't going to convince you that I am one, nor is it going to make you feel better about liking me." She turned on her heels, leaving behind a stunned Dixon.
Rick had made it back to his cell. He hadn't quite worked out the events of the last 20 minutes or so of his life and thinking about it just made him giggle to himself. It was rare to see Beth like that, and absolutely adorable, in a frightening kind of way.
He was laying in his cot when he heard footsteps approach, then the slightest of knocks on the outside wall of his cell.
"You can come in." He grunted as he sat up.
"Hey, I just want to be clear here so I won't be long. I understand that he was the one to want to talk to you, and I appreciate what you said back there, I really do, but I want you to know that Daryl wasn't completely in the wrong either. I'm not going to be the new Lori. You need to know that. I love Judith, and I'm figuring out what I feel about you but if we ever decided to be together the first time you call me Lori will be the last. I'm not going to live in the shadow of another woman." Beth stood with the sheet to the cell behind her, clutching her arms over her midsection.
"I know you're not her, I know. You remind me of her in some ways I admit, but you are two completely different people. Besides, I just don't know how I feel about the age difference. You say that you need time to sort things out, well I think Daryl and I do too. You're a woman there's no denying that at this point but you'd just barely be legal and I'd be the dirtiest old man to even think of kissing a girl your age if things weren't the way they are. I just figured out that I like you, give me time to sort that out." Rick stood now, shame evident on his face and in his eyes as he spoke.
"Yea no problem. I'm going to go to bed now, but if you need me to watch Judith tomorrow let me know. I don't know if Daryl and I will be training or not, I kind of chewed him up and spit him out tonight." Beth blushed, a bit of shame coming over her as well.
"I'm sure when you talk after a good night's sleep he'll brood for about an hour but get over it. I can't imagine any one staying cross with you for long." Rick smiled.
Beth returned the look but on the inside she wasn't so sure. Hopefully rick was right, a good night's sleep might make her more eloquent tomorrow.