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Chapter 21
Kurt cried after reading the note. And he cried even more when he remembered that in a flash of anger, he had admitted to his father that he was in love with Blaine.
Instead of going out for pizza, Burt and Kurt ended up ordering. He hugged Kurt tightly that night and promised him that everything was going to turn out okay. They sat on the couch and watched TV for a long while. Burt went to his room to take a nap at around six thirty, and Kurt borrowed his car without asking.
He drove to the cemetery, which was not too far, because Lima was a small place. Whenever he visited his mother, he always brought flowers. But, this time he carried nothing. He felt weird and a bit guilty as he approached her grave empty handed. But, the last time he visited, he planted flowers instead of laying them down. Even covered in a thin layer of snow, they still held a bit of color.
He sat down in front of her gravestone, with his legs crossed.
"I had a dream about you, fairly recently. And, for a while, I forgot that the dream was just a dream, and that I hadn't actually visited you since summer. But I came here to tell you exactly what I told you in the dream," he began.
"I'm in love. Well, in the dream, I was unsure if I was in love. But, now I know. I'm in love with a beautiful, beautiful boy named Blaine Devon Anderson. The way he looks at me reminds me of the way Dad used to look at you. It's comforting, and it's sweet. Just like him.
"I'm not with him, right now. We aren't a couple, but that will change soon, I'm sure. Because I love him. And he loves me. I think he loves me. He makes me so happy, mom. And when I look into his eyes I melt inside. And, he has the voice of an angel. Everything about him is perfect."
Kurt was silent for a few moments.
"I just wanted you to know how happy I've become since I last visited. I've never been so happy in my life, and I owe it to him. I knew that you would be content, wherever you are, knowing that I'm happy. I love you always," Kurt said before he got up. He walked away slowly, feeling satisfied.
He drove home with the radio playing silently. As he walked into his home, he could hear his father snoring. He laughed, knowing that his dad would wake up at about eight and then he would be unable to fall asleep again until midnight.
He finished the homework that Burt had earlier convinced him to blow off. Being a good student was important to Kurt because he needed scholarship money for college. He figured that he could get so much money that his dad would be able to keep the money that he had saved for him by working so much.
After finishing his homework, he lied in his bed and thought about Blaine. The note was so simple, but it made Kurt realize that this whole thing was a mistake. They needed each other and they never should have taken so much time apart.
He wasn't sure what if was going to do. Should I go to his locker in the morning? Should I apologize? Should I wait for him to come to me?
Before falling asleep, he had finally decided that he was going to do whatever felt right.
Tuesday:
When Kurt woke up from his dreamless sleep, he got dressed in one of his favorite outfits because he felt extremely happy. He was running late, however, so his father gave him a ride into school.
In the car, they listened to a Taylor Swift CD that Blaine had left in their car. Burt didn't object, because he wanted Kurt to start off his day in a good mood.
"Hey, look, I'm sorry," Burt said suddenly at a red light. He didn't look at Kurt, but he knew Kurt was looking right at him.
"For what?" Kurt asked.
"I pushed you so much to come out with your crush on Blaine. I should've given you space instead of suffocating you with it," Burt explained.
"You're only saying that now because I've admitted it to you. I guess I'm sorry that I didn't tell you right away. But, I didn't want you to treat Blaine differently because he was my boyfriend," Kurt responded.
"Why would I treat him any different?"
"Because you're my dad. And dads get weird when it comes to their children dating. I thought that you would act weird around Blaine and stop letting us have so much freedom," Kurt admitted.
"Well, you can still hang out and everything if that's what you mean. It'll be strange having Blaine sleep over now that I know you two are dating, but it's not like it ever caused a problem before. I trust you to make the right decisions," Burt said.
"So he still can stay over?"
"Yes, of course. I know he doesn't like to be at his home, so he's always welcomed at our home. Which reminds me, is he going to tell his parents? Should I get together with them and talk them through it?" Burt wondered.
"No, I don't think he's going to tell them soon. At least not until after the holidays. Because if they know we're dating, they might not even let him come over for Christmas and everything," Kurt answered.
"But, they know that you're gay, right? And they don't have a problem with it, I presume."
"Yeah, but accepting someone else's kid as gay is a very different thing than accepting your own kid. Some people are okay with the gay thing in general, but have a hard time allowing their children to express their own sexuality," Kurt explained.
"And you think that his parents won't accept him?" Burt asked.
"Well, no, not really. I mean, they want Blaine to be this huge football star. They still don't even know about glee club, and if they did, they'd probably pull him out of this school. So, I don't think they'd feel great about him being gay," Kurt said as they pulled into the school.
"Thanks for driving me, Dad," Kurt said as he got out of the car.
"No problem, see you later," Burt called out to him. As soon as the car door shut, he changed the CD to one of his own and drove off.
Kurt ended up being right on time, because Burt took short cuts and drove on the fast side. They pulled in right with the busses, which meant that Kurt was walking in with the same large crowd.
At his locker, he felt nervous. He didn't feel like it was the right time to talk to Blaine. He figured he'd need privacy. The best moment he could think of would be right after school before they have glee club. He could take Blaine to a quiet hallway, or even to the bathroom, and talk to him there.
It seemed like a smart plan until he realized that he would have to see Blaine about four or five different times during the day before glee. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to act.
He walked to Tina's locker, and decided not to tell her and Mercedes about finally reading the note. Because then they would demand to know what the note said, and Kurt wouldn't want to tell them. He wanted it to be his personal conversation with Blaine. He knew Blaine wouldn't want him to share, anyway. Blaine hated for people to see his soft side (besides Kurt – but Kurt wasn't just "people," Kurt was special).
He listened to Tina talk about a boy who she thought would be interested in joining glee club because he liked to dance. They talked aimlessly until the bell rang, and then they parted.
When Kurt walked into first period, everyone was talking amongst themselves because their teacher was late and no one else was there to tell them to be quiet. Blaine was already in his seat. As Kurt walked past him to get to his own seat, he smiled very softly at Blaine. The smile was to subtle that he wasn't sure if Blaine even caught it, but then Blaine smiled widely, showing his perfectly white teeth.
When Kurt sat down, Blaine moved to the seat in front of him because the girl that normally sat there was absent. He turned to see Kurt's face.
"So you've read it?" Blaine immediately asked, referring to the note.
Kurt squinted. "Yes," he answered after a few silent moments went by.
"We don't have to talk about it right now, because class will begin soon, but I have a surprise for you that I'll share with you at glee club today," Blaine announced. Without even waiting for an answer, Blaine turned around and went back to his own seat. Kurt liked that Blaine sat diagonally from him, because then he could still see most of his features, plus his curly hair. He liked to imagine Blaine's morning hair, before he re-gels it. He would always wake up, get out of bed, and immediately gel his hair down. Kurt loved the very few seconds where he got to see Blaine's messy curls. He always begged Blaine to leave it natural, but Blaine would refuse.
When Blaine was still dating Kurt, he wore normal tee shirts to school instead of his jacket. Sometimes he wore plain V-necks. Other times he wore shirts that had a band name on them. Occasionally, he'd try a button-down shirt, similar to Kurt's style. Kurt always thought that he looked the most comfortable and the most confident in those outfits, but he would never mention that to Blaine. He would just say, "You look lovelier than usual today." In which Blaine would blush and reply, "But never as lovely as you," or something along those lines. But he had only dressed up twice, maybe three times in that month between football and the break up.
After he and Kurt broke up, he began to wear his varsity jacket again. It was not an unusual sight, because most of the football players wore their jackets year-round, even when football was over. But, it was unusual for Blaine, because Kurt knew he hated that jacket. Sometimes, instead, he'd wear his leather jacket. Which, Kurt remembered him saying, "This jacket makes me look like I break the law."
It was odd that Blaine changed his style without Kurt by his side. What Kurt didn't realize was that when Blaine lost him, it was like he was losing his security blanket. Kurt made him feel like nothing bad could happen to him. The jacket also made him feel like that. Without Kurt, the jacket was his only source of comfort.
After first period, Kurt walked beside Blaine in the hallway toward their next class. They didn't say anything to each other, but they both silently enjoyed the other's company.
Throughout the day, they shared quick glances and half-smiles. During lunch, Tina noticed this.
"Did you just smile at Blaine?" she asked. Kurt turned red.
"Yeah," he answered softly.
"What's that about?" Mercedes jumped in.
"Nothing, nothing. We're just…we plan on working things out soon," he told them.
"Did you guys talk? Are you getting back together? Spill, Kurt!" Tina dug.
"I'll let you know when it's official," Kurt responded. The girls both sighed, wanting more from Kurt, but knowing he was going to drop the conversation right then.
When Kurt got up to throw away his garbage, he thought that Blaine would immediately get up and meet him at the garbage can, but he did not. He looked at Kurt and offered a smile, but was also trying to pay attention to Artie at the same time. That was when Kurt craved Blaine's attention the most – the moment Blaine stopped giving it to him. Kurt felt the urge to march up to Blaine's table and give him a wild, but sweet, kiss on the lips in order to grab his attention. Kurt shook this feeling and sat back down at his own table.
The rest of Kurt's classes went by far too slowly. He knew that he was anticipating glee club too much, and he was looking at the clock too often.
Soon enough, the end of the school day was upon them. Kurt rushed to his locker, fumbled with the combination, and then literally threw his books into the bottom shelf. He grabbed his backpack, which he had trouble getting off the little hook, and speed-walked to Blaine's locker.
In the background of his pacing, there was an announcement on the loudspeaker.
To his sad surprise, Blaine wasn't there. There was a note, however, taped to the outside of Blaine's locker.
Kurt,
I knew you'd come to my locker. But, if you didn't come to my locker and some total stranger is reading this note, then this is incredibly awkward.
But, if this is Kurt, I've gone to the auditorium. Schuester has let me set something up. He will take the glee club into the auditorium after you all meet in the choir room.
See you soon, lovely.
-Blaine
Kurt carefully stuffed the note into his backpack after reading it and looked for Tina and Mercedes. He figured they were already on their way to the choir room.
When he walked into the choir room, everyone else was already there. Kurt thought that that was very strange because he was actually early for glee.
Before he could even sit, Mr. Schuester announced, "Good! We're all here. If you guys don't mind, we're going to head to the auditorium on request of Blaine, who has set up a performance for us. This is the first time he's performed since auditions, so I'd like everyone to encourage him." Then, he looked directly at Kurt, "he's very excited about this," he said.
The group traveled to the auditorium where Blaine was impatiently waiting. He seemed very nervous, Kurt noticed.
"Hello, everyone," Blaine greeted. He waited for everyone to take a seat, and Mr. Schuester insisted that Kurt should sit in the front row. Rachel sat in the back.
"I know many of you are under the impression that I'm dating Rachel Berry," he began, and Kurt sat up in his seat.
Blaine laughed to himself, knowing that the only people who thought he was dating Rachel were the Cheerios.
"But," he continued, "that was all a scam."
Blaine paused, and the auditorium doors opened. In walked the whole football team. "Thanks for joining us," Blaine called out toward them.
"What's this about?" David shouted at Blaine. Kurt was wondering the same thing.
"I have a huge announcement, and I need everyone to hear it," Blaine said.
"I'm not dating Rachel, and I never was. I also was never interested in Quinn, no offense to her. But, the reason behind this is not because I simply didn't like them. No, it was much more than that. I could never date these girls, or any girls, because I'm already in love," Blaine announced proudly.
Kurt held his breath.
"I'm in love with Kurt Hummel," Blaine shouted. "And, I don't want to hide anymore." He took a deep breath, and music started playing. "So, Kurt, this is for you."
Immediately, Kurt recognized the song. Blaine began singing Fearless by Taylor Swift. They never confirmed it, but it was their song.
As Blaine sang, Kurt remembered asking him if he'd sing Taylor Swift in glee club, and Blaine said, "no way."
Kurt got teary-eyed throughout the song. Blaine's voice was like chocolate.
When Blaine finished the song, Kurt wasn't sure what to do. He felt everyone's eyes on him. He got up out of his seat and ran on stage. Blaine met him halfway and they fell straight into a deep kiss, but it didn't last long because of all the eyes on them.
They heard mixed reactions. The girls all said "Awwww." Artie cheered and whooped. Some football players went silent, others gagged over dramatically. Two players cheered them on, but Kurt couldn't make out who those players were.
"Thank you for sharing that with us, Blaine!" Schuester said. "And, we accept you and Kurt just the way you are," he promised.
The football guys left, mumbling things as they went. The group remained in the auditorium for the rest of glee club.
When glee was over, Kurt and Blaine walked outside together, hand in hand.
"So, we're back together?" Blaine asked. They sat on a bench and waited for their parents to come.
"Yes, we are," Kurt answered and kissed Blaine. "I'm so proud of you. I would have never guessed that that's what you were up to. I just can't believe you invited the football guys and everything."
"I just wanted to be happy. I wanted you to be happy, too," Blaine said back.
"Oh, by the way, my dad knows," Kurt mentioned.
"And?"
"He's totally fine with it, and you can still sleep over all the time," Kurt said.
"Cool. I'm not telling my parents for a while," Blaine said.
"That's fine," Kurt assured him.
"I can still come for Christmas eve, right? Because I have a great present for you," Blaine asked.
"Yeah, if you would like to. We can even have a sleep over from Friday until Christmas," Kurt suggested.
"Yes, yes, that sounds great," Blaine answered quickly.
Kurt's dad pulled into the school and they both stood up off the bench. "Your dad's coming, right?" Kurt asked.
"Yup. Should be here any minute."
Blaine walked Kurt to the curb. Kurt kissed Blaine and said, "Talk to you tonight."
He left Blaine in the cold weather with a very warm face.