Author's Note: Oh, look! A nice, long chapter for once, to tie you over. Little appreciation would be nice. See you Tuuuesdaay!
ooOO00OOoo
The Doctor landed the TARDIS with a significant bump, the old nuts and bolts groaning in protest over the long flight. He stepped out and looked across the lawn to the big house sitting back from the road. The sound of a child laughing made him turn around just in time to catch young Tony Tyler as he hurled himself at the Doctor's knees.
"Doctor!" the child shrieked and tried to climb up the Time Lord's legs.
"Hey! Tony!" The Doctor reached down and scooped the boy up from under his arms, propping him on a hip. "You been good for your Mum?"
"No!" the boy screamed, and blew a raspberry.
The Doctor looked around cautiously, then leaned in and tapped the boy on the nose with one finger. "Good."
"I heard that." Jackie came around the corner of the TARDIS in comfortable clothes covered in grass stains, and a happy smile. "Why must you encourage him? He already wants a blue box of his own when he grows up."
"Ah, well. Can't blame him, can you? He's got good taste." The Doctor and Jackie began to walk back to the house, while Tony put his head down on the Doctor's shoulder, took a deep breath, and closed his eyes.
"You've got good timing." Jackie told him quietly when it became apparent that Tony had every intention of napping on the Doctor's shoulder.
"Yeah?" the Doctor asked, knowing the answer but playing along all the same. It was a sort of game between them. He was 'in the neighborhood' for Tony's birthday, Rose's birthday, and the Tyler's wedding anniversary to take little Tony off their hands. 'Since it's been so long since I've seen my namesake!' he'd always say. They had a sitter, of course, but the Doctor wouldn't hear of it. If it was a special occasion or significant date, he would be there. Other times, he would be around as often as possible. He refused to lose this one last connection to Rose, however indirect it may be.
And once a year, on the anniversary of Rose's death, he would park on the lawn at precisely 2 pm, walk up to the house, and join the Tylers on their trip to visit Rose. He always wore the blue suit then.
"Where's Donna this time, then?" Jackie asked as they worked together to lay Tony down without waking him up.
"A planet called Midnight." The Doctor closed the door behind them and they made their way downstairs. "She said she wanted to relax some. Tired of running. So I figured I'd pop over for a visit."
"Where does she think you are?"
"Moving the TARDIS. I 'accidentally' landed in a no parking zone. I'll go back a few minutes after I left."
"You're a devious man," Jackie said, pulling him into a hug. "I'm glad you're here." She opened the door to the den. "Go ahead, I just gotta freshen up."
The Doctor entered the den and found Pete watching television.
"Doctor!" he said, getting up to shake hands. "Back again I see."
"Yup!"
The two men sat together in companionable silence while they waited for Jackie to shower and change. There was a knock on the door, then it opened as whoever it was let themselves in. A petite brunette stuck her head in the room and addressed Pete. "I'm here. I'll go up and check on Tony."
"Thank you, Catherine." Pete replied.
She switched her attention to the Doctor. "Hello again, Mr. Smith." Then she disappeared up the stairs.
A pause.
"Same baby sitter for five years?"
Pete shrugged. "Tony likes her. So does Jackie."
"But she's in college now, surely?"
Pete shrugged again. "She is. Only babysits for us now." He shot a look at the Doctor who was staring at the tv with too much intensity. "She does it for you, y'know. She fancies you."
The Doctor gave a deep sigh and slumped down on the couch, closing his eyes. "I was afraid you'd say that."
Pete opened his mouth to respond, but Jackie breezed into the room just then, her arms overflowing with flowers. "All right then, gents! We ready?"
"Yes!" The Doctor said, springing from the couch as if it had bitten him.
They traveled to the cemetery together, Pete driving while Jackie fiddled with the radio. The Doctor sat in the back and stared silently out the window. They approached the grave together. Jackie laid the flowers out, while the Doctor pulled a bundle of exotic flowers from his pocket. They were miraculously undamaged. The first time he'd done it, Pete had gaped and asked where they'd come from. The Doctor and Jackie's in chorus answer of 'bigger on the inside' had brought laughter to the somber occasion. Now, they just accepted it as part of the ceremony.
They all stared at the headstone in silence, studying the words carved into its surface
Rose Marion Tyler
Daughter, Sister, Loved one.
And then, in careful script, someone had added one more line:
Stuff of legend.
Jackie began first, talking about Tony and how he was progressing. How he still sometimes asked about Rose, and how it broke Jackie's heart every time. But things were good, too. The Doctor stopped by often, treated Tony as if he were his brother. So she could rest easy. Her family was taken care of.
Then Pete spoke. He told amusing anecdotes about the things that went on in Torchwood. About how they'd tracked down the last of the Cybermen last week. The people at work still spoke fondly of her from time to time. But they were all holding up well. So no need to worry, the Earth was still defended.
Then it was the Doctor's turn.
The words came slowly, he was still unused to sharing, could only do so in the guise of talking to a tombstone. But he had learned after the first time that it made the burden of his age easier. Just a little.
"Went to The Library. Specifically The Library. Biggest one in the galaxy. So big they didn't need a name for it. Just a big 'ole 'The' in front of it. Got a call on the psychic paper that led me there. So I went. Course I went. Brought Donna along. Thought the super temp might like to see world-sized filing in person. Almost had another day like when we met Jack. Almost. I lost a few. All from the archeological crew who'd come to study the empty library. Hundred years previous, every visitor and employee had vanished. Turns out The Library had been infested with Vashta Nerada. They all tried to teleport away at the same time and had frozen the system. The computer had saved them as data on the hard drive. I got them all out. But..not all the archeologists. And not…the person who called me.
"River. Her name was River Song. She…Rose, she knew my name. My name. I can't even speak my name except – and she knew it. Whispered it in my ear. What that means…I wish I could say that I couldn't see it, but I can.
"She's smart, Rose. Smart like you…were. Got a bit more of a mouth on her, though. She says the most outrageous things. I'm…I'm going to be seeing more of her. She's got this journal. Blue, with panels. Like the TARDIS. Called it her diary. Her past, my future. We're living in opposite directions. Have to say, that's a new one. Not too keen on it, if I'm honest. But I don't see as how I have much of a choice. She's already lived it. If I don't, well. The River I met won't ever exist. Nice little temporal loop, this.
"I learned a new trick. Well, I mean its not a trick. Not really. Turns out I don't even need a key to the TARDIS. My companions still do, of course. No getting around that. But I can open the doors with a snap of my fingers. Didn't really believe River when she said that. But she is right. Was right. I just met her, she's dead, and I'm going to meet her again in my future. You're right. Tenses do get weird around me.
"…I miss you. Even now, after two hundred years.
"I miss you still."
ooOO00OOoo
The next time he visited, he was on his own. Pete, Jackie, and little Tony were going to the zoo. He'd been invited along. Of course he had. But fond as he was of them – and wasn't that just a little frightening, admitting he was fond of Jackie Tyler – he'd come back to see Rose.
"Hi," he said, with an awkward little hand wiggle. Like she could actually see him. "Your family is at the zoo. Tony is eight and really has a fondness for tigers. Talked to Pete some before they left. This Earth is doing fine. Doesn't seem to have suffered any for not having my grubby fingerprints all over it. In fact, it might be better off. There aren't any super-secret agencies banking on my ability to show up and rescue them…
"I've not seen her again. River, I mean. But it's hard to say when I will. I've got the potential to live another four thousand Gallifreyan years. Assuming I don't burn through my regenerations quickly like I did with my ninth self.
"Donna's going to leave soon. She doesn't know it yet, but she will. I'll make sure of it. Remember last time, when I told you about The Library? Didn't exactly tell you everything. Not been smacked by Jackie yet in this body, and I don't really want to. See, I sorta lost Donna for a while. Tried to teleport her to the TARDIS and she ended up in limbo with the rest of the people from The Library. The main computer, CAL, had set up a sort of virtual world for the people to live in. Donna met Lee there, and well…she fell in love. So I made sure they met up in real life once everyone was out. Don't want another you and me. They're on a date right now. Figure I'll 'accidentally' land back in Lee's time after each of our adventures. Then, when they start staring deeply into each other's eyes, I'll come back here. Don't think I could withstand that much domesticity in one place, even in this body."
The Doctor stopped and stared up at the sun-dappled branches above his head. "I miss you still. I shouldn't. It's been so long. But I keep coming back. For you its been, what? A few months since I was here last? For me, it's been ten years. Donna doesn't know how much time I spent doing other things when I 'just bring the TARDIS round'. I want to stretch out the time I've got with her. I haven't had a family in so long. Certainly never a sister. She's loud and obnoxious and you'd love her. And she, you. Then again, everyone loved you." He squatted down and traced the inscription he'd left. "I miss you. I'm beginning to suspect that I always will." He left her flowers and walked away, hands sunk deep into his pockets.
ooOO00OOoo
The Doctor approached Rose's grave. For once not clad in the blue of mourning. Instead he was in his tuxedo of doom, with black converse. "Donna and Lee got married!" He chirped, flinging himself down on the grass of her grave and propping himself up on her tombstone. "Just now, in fact. I danced. It was fun! Dunno what I had against it before. I was too stuffy back then. Why you put up with me, I'll never know." He tilted his head back and closed his eyes a small, peaceful smile floating around the edges of his lips. "I got them a present. Course I did. Thought about a lottery ticket but, well… They have to live in Lee's time. He can't go live in the past. He's not trained for it. Not like Jack is. So I gave them a super computer like your super phone, so she can video call her parents whenever she wants. I'll take them both back to see her mum and granddad from time to time. Not gonna abandon Donna. Still, the TARDIS won't be the same without her. Lost another one. Even if I made it happen, it still hurts."
He sat there for the rest of the day, lazily drowsing in the sunlight. Right before the sun set, he got up, brushing away the grass and leaves that stuck to his jacket. He pulled her flowers out and laid them gently on her grave.
"I miss you, still."
ooOO00OOoo
This time, when the Doctor approached Rose's grave, he bore no floral offering, and he was looking distinctly worse for wear. He sat down gingerly, and leaned against her headstone as if he was feeling every one of his thousand-plus years. And when he closed his eyes, it was with a look of weariness, not peace. It took him several minutes to sort everything out. To organize his thoughts and emotions into a coherent whole. He needed this place. The quiet tranquility of Rose's grave gave him the space to voice his thoughts, especially since he dare not do it anywhere else. Here, in this alternate world that he could never call home and would never need him, he had found a measure of peace.
"I saw Davros again. Never. Never, never, never did I expect to cross paths with him again. I saw his ship fly into the jaws of the Nightmare Child. But he survived. Rescued by Dalek Caan. Who, and I still don't know how, made it through the temporal Lock around the Time War. Something about that made him go insane, little wonder there, and his loyalties switched from the perpetuation of the Dalek race to their destruction. In true Dalek form, though, a million lives had to be lost first. They created a reality bomb. Least that's what they called it. It was actually a hyper-conduction coil fed by negative neurons that bombarded the dark matter at the subatomic level and managed to break it up in such a way that it caused a cascading chain reaction in every bit of matter everywhere. It even crossed the boundaries of universes. In fact, it did that first. Crossed over into this universe and was breaking up stars, moons, planets...all on a subatomic level. I stopped by to see you, and Pete came to me. 'The stars are going out,' he said, 'and it's coming from your universe.' Sneaky bastard had been scanning me with found alien tech while my back was turned. He's managed to work out the difference between the makeup of my world and his, just using those scans." The Doctor shook his head. "Now I know where you got your scary good intelligence.
"I'm pretty sure he never thought to point that scanner at his wife. Wouldn't have worked on her anyway. She's taken on the place of this world's Jackie Tyler, and her makeup has altered to fit. ...so Pete tells me that the stars are going out, and I go back to look into it. Should have just stayed here. Turns out, all of the missing planets I'd heard about lately: the moon of Poosh, Clom, even the breeding planet for the Adipose babies, they were all part of a massive focusing array. All part of the reality bomb. I went to the Earth to get Jack's help only to discover that it had been taken, too.
"The Daleks had hidden the twenty-seven planets they'd stolen half a second out of sync with the rest of the universe. Harriet Jones gave her life to get me there. Once on Earth, I put the TARDIS out of sync – learned my lesson with the Master – and met up with Jack. Everyone had gathered at his little underground base in Cardiff. Mickey was there. He's engaged to Martha! You wouldn't recognize him, Rose. He's grown into a man. And a valuable part of the team, according to Jack. Sarah Jane asked after you. I couldn't…couldn't say… I told her to ask Jack.
"A Dalek tried to attack the hub, but one of their computer geniuses had figured out how to get a small scale temporal freeze going. She'd fitted it over the door and it froze the Dalek in time. I went in and managed to disassemble the battle armor. Found the wave Davros was using to tie all his Daleks together for the com-link. And since he had so kindly bragged that he'd offered his body up to them, well. It wasn't so hard to build a device to do to them what the reality bomb was doing to the stars.
"I took my gun, went to the Crucible and…I used it. Rose, I didn't even hesitate. Once again, I am guilty of genocide. This is the third time. How many times…
"I don't want to do this anymore. I'm tired of picking up the pieces. Every time they get smaller and smaller. There are bits of me that don't even fit anymore. I'm held together with spit and bits of string.
"Something's coming. Something bad. And I don't have a hand to hold. The Ood…
"I miss you, still."
ooOO00OOoo
The TARDIS materialized on the lawn of the mansion in the same place it always did. Across the grass, three figures emerged from the doorway, talking and laughing as they approached the strange blue lawn ornament.
"Doctor!" one of them cried, pounding a fist on the door.
"Yes! I'm coming! Just give me a moment…" The Doctor flung open the doors and popped his head out, a thousand-watt smile gracing his features. "Tony Tyler!" the Doctor stepped out and embraced the young man, brushing two air kisses over each of his cheeks. "Pete!" he shook the man's hand vigorously before moving on to, "Jackie! Lovely as ever I see."
"What?" Tony said, stumbling away with a look of confusion.
"Oh, you," Jackie said, "no better this time 'round."
"Jacks, who…?" Pete said, clearly baffled.
"Well, it's Himself, isn't it? Gone and changed his face again. I told you he could." She elbowed her husband and son. "And you two didn't believe me."
"What, you mean this is the Doctor?" Tony asked, pointing incredulously at the man who had emerged from the TARDIS and was now standing there with his thumbs tucked into suspenders.
Floppy hair. Too-short trousers. Bowtie.
"You're…?" Pete asked.
"That's me! I'm the Doctor!" The man waved, then ran a hand through his hair. "What do you think?"
"You're…so…" Pete's words failed him.
"Yeah." Tony agreed.
"Oh, don't mind them, love." Jackie stepped up and linked an arm through the Doctor's and led him away. "They just didn't think that you could really change your face. Silly sods."
The Doctor reached up and adjusted his bowtie.
"Come along! The driver won't wait forever!" Jackie called over her shoulder and the two men snapped into action, hurrying along after Jackie and the new, new, new Doctor.
"Hello, Rose!" The Doctor said, jumping out from behind a tree as if at a surprise party. He was alone again, as he usually was when he visited Rose. "Sorry it's been a while. Busy doing stuff. You know. Seen River Song, ohh…dozens of times now." The Doctor leaned forward and whispered to the headstone. "Naughty girl." He clapped his hands and straightened, rubbing his palms together in glee. "So! Where are we? Ah, yes! The Ponds got married. They're on their honeymoon. Don't really want to tag along for that. Though I think I may have to. They're almost as jeopardy friendly as you." He clasped his hand together behind his back and paced back and forth as he spoke.
"Donna's pregnant. A boy and a girl. Twins! Love twins. She screamed when she saw my face. I may have forgotten to tell her about regeneration." He paused in his pacing as a thought occurred to him. "River Song wasn't surprised by my different faces. I wonder how many of my faces she knows?" He shook himself. "Don't get me wrong. I still miss you. But River, she's special.
"So very special."
ooOO00OOoo
The Doctor was wearing a stetson. He took it off as he approached the grave. He had no words. Not this time. He was going to his death. He had just one last thing to do before he met with the Ponds. Out of the pocket of his jacket he pulled a small, hand held laser. Studying the stone , he squatted down and applied the laser to the marker. With a steady hand and a careful eye, he traced lines across its surface, gently curving them into circles. Stroke after stroke he built the words, carving them deep. When he was done, he stepped back and, placing her flowers on the exact center of her grave, he walked off.
Behind him, written in the graceful circular script of his people, was five words. Five words infused with all the sincerity and timelessness only a Time Lord could manage.
I love you. Good bye.
ooOO00OOoo
The fires from the crash were still burning merrily when, a universe away, Rose Tyler opened her eyes.