Disclaimer: I don't own the walking dead, please don't sue!
Author's note: Thank you all sooo much for sticking in there with me and for the support. Its been a rough few months. Also, no worries if you've yet to catch the back half of season 4, I promise this chapter is spoiler free. I also want to make an apology about a consistency error in the last chapter. I had completely forgotten that Beth was the one to kill the walker with the knife, so it should have been her who cleaned it off in the grass. It drives me crazy when I find that kind of thing in stories so I will be trying to do a better job with that in the future.
~*TWD~*TWD~*TWD~*TWD~*TWD~*TWD~*TWD~*TWD~*TWD~*TWD~*TWD~*TWD~*
Daryl kept his eyes open and ears alert as they moved into the thick woods. Beth never fell more than a few steps behind. Keeping light footed and alert as well. She figured out here with possible danger behind every tree would be the worst time to really strike up a conversation about what happened. She's learned to let him come to her, things seemed better that way.
Daryl bent down and sat on his heels, examining little tracks in the mud, looking for any walker prints around it. He found none.
"Let's get a rabbit or two for dinner tonight and head back to the prison. I don't want to be out here longer than necessary." Daryl mumbled quietly back to her.
Beth hadn't really thought about much other than the fact that Daryl finally found the courage to speak his peace to her. She still listened, she wasn't so blindsided that it made her stupid. In truth, the quiet was reassuring in the sense that it finalized the conversation. He liked her, she liked him enough to kiss back.
The problem was figuring out where to go from there. Beth spent the afternoon silence while hunting trying to figure out where she wanted to go with this. Would she feel comfortable just kissing him whenever? Is he comfortable with that? Did she need to tell Rick? Did she feel more for Daryl than Rick?
Before she knew it they were walking back towards the bike. For once everything was as they left it, no incidents of more walkers or survivors. They'd managed to catch a rabbit and 3 squirrels. It wasn't much but it was protein.
The ride back was nice, Beth scooted closer with out needing to be told and she allowed herself to lean her head on his shoulder. When they'd stopped for the gates she felt him squeeze her hand before putting it back on the handlebar.
They didn't talk to each other when they got back, but neither were upset or avoiding each other. It was just a content agreement, in which Rick recognized almost instantly. She locked eyes with Rick when she'd entered the cell block and immediately looked at the floor and blushed.
She figured he'd be knocking on her wall after she'd got settled in. She just opened the flap and watched him move from the entrance to sit on her cot.
"I take it you've made your choice then." He'd managed to say while rubbing the scruff on his chin.
"Actually no, but at least I have a better understanding of him and how he feels about me." Beth's voice had a hint of annoyance.
"I can't be with someone who isn't at the very least honest so if something happened between you two then I think it's safe to say that I'm no longer interested. I won't do this again. You make a choice you live with it." Rick was strong but only in a way that left his old wounds vulnerable.
"We talked. We kissed. Once. That's all. A kiss don't mean we're married Rick. Don't get all pissy just because you think he popped my cherry, and have a bit more respect for me while you're at it. If we'd slept together I would tell you. I'd rather die a virgin than lose my virginity to someone who doesn't love and respect me, and I think you might want to remember that." Beth was crossing her arms and using her assertive motherly voice. Much like the tone she'd taken with both Rick and Daryl in the cafeteria.
"I didn't mean to-"
"I know you didn't but we need to get a few things perfectly clear. I'm not doing this because I think it's fun or because I want to pit you two against each other. I actually hate this, and I keep asking myself whether it's better to go it alone than to even still be considering the possibility of finding what Maggie has. I'm scared of getting hurt but I'm moreso afraid of hurting others and I don't see this ending in any other way. So you need to ask yourself if you can handle it. If I chose Daryl could you live with it, respect it, and not knock on my wall begging me to reconsider? On the flip side if I choose you, can you handle being the first and only person I want to be with, can you handle seeing me at my worst, which we've both seen can be really fucking dark. Could you handle losing a second love in your lifetime? Think about that before you assume I just go fucking any guy who has feelings for me. Now get out before I say things I'll regret later." Beth's voice had steadily elevated. Her face was red and she was pretty sure she was shaking.
Rick stood up, looked her in the eyes and took a deep breath. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry."
When she was finally alone, she allowed herself a bit of a breakdown. She let the tears stream down her face and a few sniffles before sitting down on the cot and unzipping her boots. She removed her weapons and laid down on her pillow, quietly sobbing until she dozed off.
Meanwhile, Rick returned to the outer quad, his mind heavy with apologies and his heart full of regret. He hadn't realized how much she'd really meant to him and didn't know how hurt he could be by her.
He picked up a spade and started digging more trails for crops, ignoring the roar of the walkers at the fences as he worked. He'd been so focused he didn't even hear Daryl come up to him.
"Hey man." Daryl mumbled.
"Holy- you have got to stop sneaking up on me!" Rick sounded more irritated than he'd intended.
"Sorry. Look, I know you and I haven't really had the chance to talk like we used to, so I figured,... I don't even know what I figured Rick." Daryl started picking at his nails.
"I know you two kissed. Look, I don't hold anything against you. I know you'd never intended this to happen. I don't feel like you went behind my back and stole my woman. She's made it perfectly clear she isn't claimed." Rick managed to smile and shake his head at the last part.
"That's what makes her so damn adorable and she doesn't even know it." Daryl pretty much summed up the thought.
"Oh I think she's learning. She made a good point to me today, and She showed more maturity than I did. We get so caught up in that mindset of possibly dying tomorrow you know?" Rick paused.
"we never consider the possibility that maybe we'll live, and what that means in the long run. I take it she made you think about whether you can handle the heartbreak?" Daryl absentmindedly kicked at the dirt before he caught himself. "I mean not that it's guaranteed or anything. I didn't mean to come off like that."
"No man I know what you meant. She did, she also brought up whether I could deal with her in a relationship. Daryl, she's so young and inexperienced." Rick made sure to emphasis the last sentence.
"Yea but she can seem so mature like you said..." Daryl began but Rick gave him a head tilt that made him figure it out.
"I thought that you guys had done more than kissing and I went to her all half cocked and thinking I'm finally going to stand up for myself like I should have done with Lori, and then she dropped me with that. She was hurt and insulted that I'd think she wouldn't take this decision so seriously. I'm an asshole." Rick shook his head.
"You are a lot of things Rick. A tough sum bitch, of course, but an asshole? Only when you have to be. She's stressed. We're all stressed, but she's got a lot of pressure on her. I just want you to know that no matter what happens, if she doesn't choose either of us or she picks one, that we're brothers first. I may be hurt, I may lash out with some real shitty remarks, but it would be jealousy. If by some miracle that she does pick me I'm not about to go flaunting that in your face either." Daryl was rubbing the back of his head.
"I respect that, I respect you a hell of a lot for saying it. I know these types of talks aren't your idea of fun. I will always have your back, I'd never stab you in it. That young lady deserves more than to worry about us destroying each other because she has a rough time sorting out her feelings, so I'm really glad we're on the same page with this." Rick extended his hand and Daryl shook it with out hesitation.
"I'm going to go take a nap before some other awkward conversation about feelings comes up. All this romance novel bullshit makes me sleepy." Daryl smiled before waving bye and going back inside.