Subject A

Summary – Penelope and Ben have a quick talk.

Note – Season 2 Between Episodes 4 and 5.

Disclaimer – I do not own or pretend to own anything from either the Fallout games or from Nuka Break, the web-series (but I'm very happy to be a huge fan!)

A ghoul has come to the Lockre today, agreeing to answer my questions and take some tests in exchange for the medical aid already promised to his companion. Let it be known, with these written words, that I have agreed that whatever difference there might be after these tests will be given to either him or his companion in the form of caps.

Name: Benjamin Eldridge: also Ben, Benjy, Ridge, Dirge and B.
Age: Unknown, approximately late twenties early thirties when the bombs dropped. Currently over 200 years old.
Area - near vault 7

Current Physical Wellness - exhausted, body stiff all over from previous fights / injuries. Can not see at night or very well in low light areas. Holds himself tight and gives an impression of stiltedness.

Self Diagnosed Condition - turning feral. (Upon uttering this Subject A immediately went to reassure me that he was not going to go feral in here). When I showed him the pistol I keep nearby and placed it on my desk, he visibly relaxed and stopped talking about turning.

Symptoms - longer and longer gaps of lost memories. Admits he forgot where Eastwood was (this information is not to be told to his party members, especially to a Ms. R) and briefly attacked his companions after believing himself to be in another time and place. Quicker to get angry, though he believes this to be a combination of quote "getting sick of morons" and going feral. Hallucinating more frequently.

"It's like I'm trying to catch my breath, but with my brain."

I looked up from where I was frantically scribbling with my pencil, trying to make my smile more sympathetic than scientific, but this information was gold and I wasn't sure when another willing ghoul would come to my area. Discreetly, I managed to thumb on our only working holodisk recorder before asking the question that was burning on my tongue.

"What about radiation? That heals ghouls, right?"

Ben shook his head from side to side.

"Going feral is tied to different factors. First, companionship. Ghouls without companions are more likely to turn and do so quicker. Second, how damaged our body gets. It's like making a copy of a copy of a copy. Third, age - although if the first two things are addressed, it's not really a problem. And of course, too much radiation in a blast can make you both feral and ghoul at the same time."

"Why do ghouls still go feral then? If this information is known?"

He gave a long, drawn out sigh.

"Look, this wasn't always around and not everyone knows it, even now. And some just got lucky from the beginning."

I tilted my head and he rolled his eyes.

"Smoothskins." He muttered, pulling out a cigarette. "Promise me something."

"This is a clinic." I informed him sternly, as if he didn't already know that. "No smoking allowed."

He nodded, but kept it out, tapping and fiddling with it nervously. "Promise me that whatever we talk about here, you'll keep it secret."

"Of course. Doctor–Patient-"

"-I'm not talking confidentiality," he snapped, interrupting me. "I'm saying that you'll never talk about any of this to anyone ever."

"If it's that impor-"

"It is."

"I promise then."

"Do you know Megaton?" He abruptly asked, the cigarette stabbed into the air, wrenching the topic down a new direction.

"My trading group went there twice, but it's been a long time since."

"There's a ghoul there, by the name of Gob. 'Works' (the harshness of his voice deepened at this word) for a bastard of a Smoothskin. Heard rumors that the sack of shit died, murdered by a friend of Gob's, but that might be too much to hope for. That ghoul doesn't have the luck for friends, especially for friends nice enough to kill his boss. Anyway." He shook his head. "Gob is a lucky one, personal grievances aside. Works in a saloon, deals with the dregs of humanity everyday, and it acts kinda like an immunity to going feral. His mom too, he told me she was in Underworld - both of them are surrounded by others and both of them are from the first nukes."

I must have made a noise or movement because his mouth quirked into a smirk.

"No, they're not really family, so don't get your scientific hopes up. Although," he added, eyes seeming to travel back, "I'd never say that to them. If you ever travel up to the Capital Wasteland again, go find Carol at Underworld. She's always willing to talk about that day. No problems with her god-damn memory."

"Is yours that bad?"

He looked at me, and it seemed like all emotion just...left him.

"The most important person in my life is fading, and nothing I can do stops it. One day, I'll look at my ring and wonder why I have it. If I'm lucky, I won't know what I'm missing - but I don't think anyone's that lucky."

He looked at me, and pressed his fingers against the bridge of his nose.

"Is there a quiet place to smoke, someplace high in these ruins, or are all the stairs broken?"

I nodded, not able to talk around the growing lump in my throat. Can ghouls cry, or was that taken from them too?

"Sure-" the words came out choked and I swallowed. "Sure Ben. I'll show you the best spot."

"Remember your promise."

"I will." I promise I'll never speak of your feelings to anyone, showing your sadness. I'll never tell anyone your strength or your courage. For better or for worse, I'll keep my promise, Benjamin Eldridge.