Chapter 10: Waiting
Raph was sitting on the couch, his broken ankle hurting a bit again, but he refused to leave.
Leo hadn't sent him away when April had arrived with the latest news coming from her message board and her research regarding this new Kraang-facility. And so Raph had stayed when April had unfurled the blueprints she had found online on the floor, and he had stayed when she had told them about what she thought the Kraang used this facility for. And he had stayed when Leo had started pondering over the best way to infiltrate the building. He had stayed when Leo had started talking about their plan, telling Donnie and Mikey what their tasks were going to be. And he was still there, now that they were discussing Leo's plan, going into detail and coming up with some what-if-scenarios.
Raph knew these powwows, but for the first time since they had started going on missions, he wasn't really part of it. He was just sitting there, listening, and he felt out of place.
He hadn't even the expertise to help them with a plan. He was no strategist like Leo, no genius like Donnie and April, and of course, he was no fantast like Mikey – and yes, he refused to use the word "fool" here on purpose – who could come up with the weirdest what if-scenarios – or sometimes with things they would have never thought of in the first place.
Raph was a doer, not a thinker. He always preferred practice over theory, and the only reason he listened and participated in the theory-parts was because he needed them for the practice-parts. Raph was a fighter, a react-er, and now he was forced to sit around and listen.
And he was listening, he was listening closely, even more closely than ever before it seemed, checking each and every detail of their plan on its weaknesses because if he couldn't be there to help when something went terribly wrong, he at least wanted to try and warn his brothers beforehand if their plan wasn't good enough.
But so far, there wasn't anything he could object about this plan, but maybe that was because he was neither strategist nor genius nor fantast, and for the first time in his life, Raph wished he was more of a brain-person.
Thing was, he wasn't. He was the muscle, not the brain. And right now, he was feeling really bad about it.
He was listening as Leo went over every detail of their plan once more, and he knew that Donnie was capable of disrupting the security system long enough that they could get in, he knew that Mikey was capable of sneaking in first, and he knew that Leo was capable of having their backs, but still, it felt so wrong not being able to join them tonight.
From his point of view, the plan was good. It should work. But it made him feel so uneasy that he couldn't be there and help his brothers if things went wrong.
At least, Casey wouldn't join them tonight because he had been grounded, and April would stay at the lair, so there were two people less he had to worry about. But three brothers to worry about were still three too many, he thought.
But still, the plan was good, and Raph had to have faith that it would work. And maybe that was the reason Leo hadn't sent him away, but instead had let him stay – to show him that he had a good plan and that they were prepared for all the what-ifs.
That was what Raph was thinking when he watched his brothers leave.
His brothers were gone for half an hour now, they probably hadn't even reached the facility yet, but Raph was already on pins and needles. He tried to concentrate on the "Super Robo Mecha Force Five!"-episode that was on, but this episode was about Dash Coolstar being separated from his team and the team getting into deep trouble, and right now, Coolstar tried to get back to them and save them because without him, they were as good as dead.
No, not what Raph wanted to watch right now. Actually, he had no idea what he wanted to watch right now. He was afraid to zap through the channels because maybe he would catch a news-report that told that three dead mutant turtles had been found in the debris of a collapsed building.
He could try to read in the second book of "Realms" April had brought him. He had nearly finished it, but somehow he knew that he wouldn't be able to concentrate on that either.
He crossed his arms over his plastron and glanced over to April. The teenage girl was tapping away on her laptop with a calm look on her face which made Raph's eyes widen in surprise.
How does she do that?, Raph asked himself. She must be worried, too, how can she stay so calm?
He looked back at the TV without really noticing what was going on in that episode. He was too lost in thought, thinking about how April managed to stay so calm.
Suddenly, he understood why April had always been so eager to join them on missions as soon as she could block a punch. Being forced to wait while others were risking their lives was just horrible.
He was going through all the things that could go wrong in his head over and over, and it had only been half an hour!
He closed his eyes for a split second, but already long enough to see Leo lying on the ground, badly hurt and bleeding.
Argh! He was going insane here!
Again, he looked over to April, who still was working on her laptop with a totally calm face.
"Okay, I give up!" Raph called out, throwing his arms up in the air in a surrendering gesture. "How do you do it?"
April turned to him with a frown. "What do you mean?"
"How do you stay so calm!? I mean the others are out there, risking their lives, and we are sitting on a freaking couch and watching TV! I'm going nuts!"
April gave a soft chuckle.
"You want to know how I can stay so calm?" she asked with a smile.
"Yes!"
"Simple." April's smile deepened as she turned her laptop a bit to show Raph what she had been working on, and Raph recognized her message board.
"I work," she explained.
"Work?"
April nodded. "It's the best I can do at the moment, trying to get my thoughts elsewhere with something I really need to concentrate on, and these new Kraang-sightings keep me pretty busy."
"I can't even concentrate on TV!" Raph replied.
"Because the TV doesn't keep your brain busy enough," April explained. "You need something that absorbs all your attention."
"So that's how it works?"
April nodded and turned back to her laptop.
Raph thought about that for a moment. Sure, he knew that episode of "Super Robo Mecha Force Five!", and as exciting as "Realms" was, he got distracted easily when something as important as his brothers' lives was on stake. So maybe he should try this all of his attention-thing.
But what kind of work would need all of his attention?
He glanced at April again.
"Uhm, Arpil?" he asked. "Think I can help?"
April looked up from her laptop again. "Maybe," she said. "Right now, I'm collecting the most recent Kraang-sightings, but I'm only writing the locations down in a doc, meaning to tag them on a map later. But maybe you could do that."
"Sure thing!" Raph replied.
April nodded, put her laptop aside and went over to Donnie's lab and returned moments later with a bunch of paper, unfolding a map of New York on the floor.
She handed Raph a highlighter, taking her seat on the couch again, and the mutant turtle let himself slip to the floor.
"Okay, I'm telling you the locations and you highlight them on the map. Ready?"
"I was born ready!" Raph replied, popping off the cap of the highlighter.
April smiled and then turned to her laptop, telling Raph the first location.
When later that night the others returned from their mission, Raph had absolutely no idea, how much time had passed. He had been so busy with this map, finding the right locations on the map, that he had simply forgotten the time. But this was all forgotten, when he set eyes on them. They seemed all unharmed and Raph sent a silent thank you heavenwards.
April put her laptop aside almost immediately when she saw the others and got to her feet.
"You're back!" April called out. "How did it go?"
"Well, let's put it that way," Mikey said, straightening in a self-conscious pose. "There's one Kraang-facility less on this planet."
"Good!" April said with a smile.
Raph nodded and heaved himself back on the couch, as the others were walking over to them. Mikey had already started with his detailed explanation of what had happened this night.
Raph was sure that the others were too busy listening to Mikey, so he allowed himself to let out a sigh of relief. He was so glad this was over. He wouldn't have to worry again tonight, and their next mission seemed too far away to worry about just yet. And maybe he would be able to join them again next time.
Yes, maybe, he hoped.
It was a pious hope, he knew that, but sometimes hope was all that was left.